Thursday, May 22, 2008

R. Kelly Trial

We haven't been covering this crap because it seems to be old news. Six years from arrest to trial? Ridiculous. And it's a Michael Jackson type circus.

But we heard Johnnie Cochran himself has risen from the dead to run R. Kelly's defense and it's based on the contention that (A) the victim says it isn't her on the tape and (B) the defendant says it isn't him on the tape, and this is all just some big mistake. R. Kelly will testify as follows:
  • Who is this chick?
    That ain't my dick
And Cochran's closing argument will concentrate on the allegedly "fake" video that doesn't show certain prominent birthmarks:
  • If you don't see a mole
    That ain't his pole
We figure an acquittal on all counts shortly. Anyone else feel the spirit of Johnnie upon them? Use the comments. And make it entertaining without being crude or stupid.

Labels:

58 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

"I believe I can fly!"

I think that was the song that was playing in the background of the video tape as he was pissing on his victim.

5/22/2008 12:18:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

#1 Dat mutha-fucka ain't me!

#2 Dat be-ouch is a 'ho!

Question, if it ain't you how do you know she be a 'ho?

5/22/2008 12:20:00 AM  
Blogger Prophet Muhammand said...

The brother man is as guilty as hell but no crook county jury is going to convict the man.

You urinate and crap on a little girl but as long as your famous and a rapper... you go free!

5/22/2008 12:33:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

BY THE TIME THOSE FOUR SHARK DEFENSE LAWYERS GET DONE WITH HIM , KELLY WILL WISH HE PLED GUILTY.

5/22/2008 02:04:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

If the SSL condom don’t fit, you must acquit

5/22/2008 02:49:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"It's not me who peed on her face
You have no case"

5/22/2008 05:36:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

R. Kelly's new song title:
"I Believe I Can Lie"

5/22/2008 06:11:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Knock, knock!
Whos' there?
Anita!
Anita who?
I need a conviction!

5/22/2008 06:14:00 AM  
Blogger leomemorial said...

Quid pro quo
That girl seen no mole

R Kelly has Adidas
stamped on his penis

5/22/2008 07:40:00 AM  
Anonymous R U Gene Pinch Him said...

Mr Kelly was merely doing a coronation
When he used yellow urination
Mr Kelly must not goes away
cause of a little yella spray
The music world will be much sadder
Jailing that man cause of his bladder
Free R Kelly I must insist
It was only a LITTLE piss !
Fraudulently yores,
R U Gene Pinch him
expired esquire 'n all dat
(personal checks accepted)

5/22/2008 07:44:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I've only got 1 word about this sill crap. Was at 26th St. the other day coming out of a courtroom on the same floor but on the other side We couldn't get to the elevators, nor would the sheriff's let you in the hallway by the elevators. The floor was "closed" so that pedophile piece of crap could go to court unhindered. It didn't make one bit of difference we were the police, "by judicial order" till dick-head was seated in court, the hallway was off-limits. Like I actually wanted to see him anyway.

5/22/2008 07:55:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Don't be crude?? With this case?? SCC you gotta be kidding. This farce screams for crude comments.

5/22/2008 07:58:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

His attorney has been going to bed each night for the past ten years with a little smile on his face thinking:
'Thank god there are rich pervs out there that like to use dumb broads as their own personal commodes.'

"I believe I can fly!!"(to the fiji island that i just bought)

5/22/2008 08:18:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I was detailed to an "Old School" picnic/fest in Hyde park last summer over on 59th/Stoney. Who shows up but R. Kelly and his posse. The alderwoman allowed him to doublerpark his $300,000 limo and sports car right on the midway tying up traffic for over an hour. But what made me laugh is how the public flocked to him as he walked through the crowd like he was Jesus Christ. Is the black community that starved for a hero, or role model that they cling to idiots like Kelly or O.J. even if the evidence against them is so overwhelming, regardless of the legal outcome, because we all know how that goes. There have to be more deserving individuals that the black community can look to.

5/22/2008 08:50:00 AM  
Anonymous HATER said...

DAT CASE IS TYPICAL WEST SIDE BULL SHIT!!!

SHOULDNT HAVE EVEN BEEN A FELONY, A LITTLE URINE NEVER KILT NO ONE!

5/22/2008 08:57:00 AM  
Anonymous dave chappelle fan said...

Check out comedian Dave Chappelle's skit on R. Kelly. The song is entitled "I Wanna Piss On You."

It's ten times more hysterical that Dave's "I'm Rick James, Bitch" skit.

5/22/2008 09:21:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I believe I will die....
When i'm getting slammed by a bigger guy....
Smacks me 'round every night and day...
For my crime, my ass will pay...

I know I will be sore...
When my ass gets hit by the jail door...
I'll be tossing my cellmate's salad....
While I sing this crappy ballad...

I believe I will die....
When i'm getting slammed by a bigger guy....
Smacks me 'round every night and day...
For my crime, my ass will pay...

5/22/2008 09:47:00 AM  
Blogger Don Gwinn said...

Time to dust off the classic Chewbacca Defense?

Assuredly, it is so.

5/22/2008 10:03:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

'' i believe the charges wont fly. i dont believe that i touched her thigh.they said i banged her every night and day. the video tape was old and gray''

5/22/2008 10:27:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

he'll walk.

5/22/2008 10:32:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"If you don't see a mole
That ain't his pole"

______________________________________________________________________

Thanks SCC, I just LMAO!

5/22/2008 10:51:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I didn't pee on her face.
You be attacking me cause my race.

Just cause a brotha get rich
You accuse him of sleeping with a 13yr old bitch!

This is just another case of POUCWB

or Pissing On an Underage Child While Black.

5/22/2008 10:54:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Haters wanna' hate, Lovers wanna' love, I don't even want none of the above, I wanna' piss on you" "Tell me baby, believe it's true, I wanna piss on you"

"The only thing that makes my life complete is when I turn your face into a toilet seat, I wanna piss on you"

5/22/2008 11:12:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

If the dick dont fit...you must aquitt!!!

5/22/2008 11:32:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Prosecution has nothing.The tape is a 3rd or 4th generation dup and not very good.

The "victim" and her mother have stated that it not me/her.

No mole on guy in piss poor video.

5/22/2008 11:36:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Ladies and gentelman of the jury...if the prosecution can't prove it's R. Kelly's pee, you MUST set the man free!"

5/22/2008 12:25:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Cook County acquittal. In high profile cases most lead prosecutors try the case. Is Alvarez trying this one?

Why doesnt the "it wasnt me in the video" work for PO's?

So he went tsnning since this firs came out like 6 yeaers ago, grew a mole as such, and know will get off.

Police=guilty

celebrity(especially ghetto one)=no aquittal

5/22/2008 01:03:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Prophet Muhammand said...
The brother man is as guilty as hell but no crook county jury is going to convict the man.

You urinate and crap on a little girl but as long as your famous and a rapper... you go free!

5/22/2008 12:33:00 AM



he's a singer.....not a rapper......duh...

5/22/2008 01:12:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Anyone can get away with banging a 14yr in Crook Co. Had a case recently where a 28 M/4 is banging an F/4/14. Got the sheets, pillow case and clothing, kit everything done. Came back to work the next day, RWOC. Wonder what would happen if a P.O. was doing her.

5/22/2008 01:39:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am suspicious of any case that takes 6 years to get to court.

5/22/2008 01:46:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Did they play the race card yet?

5/22/2008 03:22:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dat aint me, it someone dat look like me. Arn't they classics.

5/22/2008 05:50:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This idolization of R Kelly speaks volumes of and by itself of the African American community in the USA.

5/22/2008 07:01:00 PM  
Anonymous el duderino said...

"Cook County acquittal. In high profile cases most lead prosecutors try the case. Is Alvarez trying this one?

Why doesnt the "it wasnt me in the video" work for PO's?

So he went tsnning since this firs came out like 6 yeaers ago, grew a mole as such, and know will get off.

Police=guilty

celebrity(especially ghetto one)=no aquittal

5/22/2008 01:03:00 PM"


Am I the only jag-bag that feels dumber after reading that?? WTF??

5/22/2008 07:06:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This was way better than the talk like a pirate thread. You guys are pretty talented, ya know that?

---not a cop (not to be confused with DW---not a cop)

5/22/2008 08:07:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey little girl, wanna golden shower?

5/22/2008 08:46:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

wouldn't bring in the "black community" supports him. There's nut cases in every race. Ever see the Charlie Manson fan club. As far as the mole, if the video is "3rd or 4th" generation and of poor quality, how can the mole be "clearly" visible.
Maverick

5/22/2008 08:54:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

What about the heroin addicted rockers your children like, or the GOTH kids that want to be devil worshipers. How can he be called Ghetto Rapper when he sings. All of the rockers that Whites listen to are just like R. Kelly they just did not tape themselves. I do think that he is on the tape, and that the girl is underage, but the possible victim stated that it is not her, so who is the victim. but please don't include his race, because just look at some white stars who are though to be idols, and are GHETTO to. Ghetto does not mean a Black nieghborhood, remember the Irish, Jews, Polish, and all other people live in what are commonly refered to as GHETTO's.

5/22/2008 09:06:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

A gentle liquid flowing
a steady amber stream. . .
A Rapper's Piss aflowing,
This is R. Kelly's dream.

5/22/2008 09:56:00 PM  
Blogger papa smurf said...

i wants to see tawana brawley, coco coco puffs kelly, and little man sharpton in a three way jib jab.

5/22/2008 09:59:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Am I the only jag-bag that feels dumber after reading that?? WTF??

5/22/2008 07:06:00 PM"


It's possible.

5/22/2008 11:10:00 PM  
Anonymous flying with r. kelly said...

Ah, the sublime ecstasy of my golden shower.

Fo' shizzle, my nizzle.

5/23/2008 12:05:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Survey taken before the video was shot.

From R.Kelly: You wanna be in my video? Can you smell that?
From Minor: What?
From R. Kelly: Urine
From Minor: Okay, I'm in.


The confussion starts

5/23/2008 12:09:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I believe I can fly.
R. Kelly is a pedophi.
We hear about him every night and day.
The judge should put his dumb ass away.

5/23/2008 09:16:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Judge Gaughn just slapped a woman who yelled "Free R. Kelly" at the jury with a fifty thousand dollar bond.

I wish I could have seen the look on her face.

5/23/2008 09:17:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You urinate and crap on a little girl but as long as your famous and a rapper... you go free!

5/22/2008 12:33:00 AM

I didnt know brothers were into water and scat play.How bout Roman or Pony Play??

5/23/2008 11:32:00 AM  
Blogger Larry Sugar said...

He's guilty......visit my blogspot to discuss further details this weekend........."The Daily Dose with Bobby Ocean and The Blogmaster Larry Sugar"......

5/23/2008 12:22:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Who cares? Seriously, do you? 'Cause I dont give a damn.

5/23/2008 12:24:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Uh, moles can be surgically removed, can't they? How long has it been since this was taped?

5/23/2008 02:09:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

OMFG! This is some funny shit!

5/23/2008 02:10:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Anyone can get away with banging a 14yr in Crook Co. Had a case recently where a 28 M/4 is banging an F/4/14. Got the sheets, pillow case and clothing, kit everything done. Came back to work the next day, RWOC. Wonder what would happen if a P.O. was doing her.

The guy probably was RWOC due to the case being CI'd for workup by the ISP Crime Lab of the sheets, pillow case, clothing and kit. Those can only get worked overnight on television. Nice work and I appreciate your frustration but, a proper investigation can take time.

5/23/2008 06:15:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Anonymous said...
I was detailed to an "Old School" picnic/fest in Hyde park last summer over on 59th/Stoney. Who shows up but R. Kelly and his posse. The alderwoman allowed him to doublerpark his $300,000 limo and sports car right on the midway tying up traffic for over an hour. But what made me laugh is how the public flocked to him as he walked through the crowd like he was Jesus Christ. Is the black community that starved for a hero, or role model that they cling to idiots like Kelly or O.J. even if the evidence against them is so overwhelming, regardless of the legal outcome, because we all know how that goes. There have to be more deserving individuals that the black community can look to.

5/22/2008 08:50:00 AM

I guess I'm not "black enough." I wasn't there,nor do I care. Again,ALL BLACK PEOPLE do not think alike. That is the problem with too many white folks,blacks are not clones.

5/23/2008 06:36:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Just remember this is crook county,i gaurantee no conviction.

5/24/2008 12:05:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I believe piss can fly.
I believe I can hose her eyes.
Piss on da bitches every night and day.
Golden Showers are yo fave ya hey.

5/24/2008 12:43:00 AM  
Anonymous r. kelly said...

Urine is a precious bodily fluid. What greater love hath a man than to piss on you.

5/24/2008 08:22:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

remember the Irish, Jews, Polish, and all other people live in what are commonly refered to as GHETTO's.

***********************

I agree; I grew up in the Jewish ghetto of Highland Park.

5/24/2008 09:40:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Prophet Muhammand said...
The brother man is as guilty as hell but no crook county jury is going to convict the man.

You urinate and crap on a little girl but as long as your famous and a rapper... you go free!

5/22/2008 12:33:00 AM

There is no such thing as honor peeing,just honor killing.

5/27/2008 10:13:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

What,no plate job??

5/28/2008 08:08:00 PM  

<< Home

Newer Posts.......................... ..........................Older Posts