Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Monique Bond's Letter

Forwarded our way from a concerned reader who saw us taking hits from a number of non believers:
  • I am attaching a Stingwire report for your review, and ask that each of you remind your lieutenants and captains to refer reporter to News Affairs when they receive inquiries so that we are consistent with the information that is being released. Thanks.
The address line contains a number of members of the Command Staff. We'll omit them to spare them any embarrassment. Evidently, the letter was sent to Commanders who are then to direct their W/C's to reference all calls to News Affairs. We had slightly different information.

Labels:

26 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

A man walks into a pet store and is looking around when he spots a
chimpanzee in a cage marked, '$1000'. The man looks a little closer and
discovers that the chimpanzee is wearing a tie and a hat and is twirling a set
of handcuffs around his finger. Curious, the man summons the shopkeeper and asks
him what the deal is with this thousand-dollar monkey.

'Sir, You have discovered our Police Officer Monkeys. This one is our
basic Patrol version. It's got a POST Basic certification; can fire 'Expert'
with a Glock, Remington 870, or an AR15; knows the Penal Code and Traffic Code
by heart and is up-to-date on Cultural Diversity and Active Shooter Response.
Very good value for a thousand dollars!'

The man is suitably impressed and moves to the next cage, which is
occupied by a gorilla - also wearing a hat and tie, but is gnawing on a pen
instead of the handcuffs.

The price on this one is $5000. Shopkeeper exclaims, 'Ah, sir! You have discovered the Sergeant model! This one has a POST
Advanced certification, is capable of training any other monkeys in basic
firearms skills, mechanics of arrest, physical training, investigation and small
unit tactics! It can even type! Very good value for five thousand, sir!'

Impressed, the man moves to the last cage. Inside, he finds an
orangutan, dressed in the same hat and tie as the others, but holding only a
coffee cup. 'What does this one do that he's worth $12,000?' asks the man.

The shopkeeper clears his throat, 'Ah, sir, well, um.... we have never
actually seen him do anything except drink coffee and play with his dick, but he
says he's an exempt.'
-----------------------------------------------------------------

6/11/2008 12:22:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey bond! How about the bosses with some balls tell you to get fucked as you screw up more stories and have no clue about what the police do! Who exactly is your clout? You have been bounced around due to gross stupidity why don't you just resign and go back to selling streetwise? Please!

6/11/2008 12:46:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

stingwire report?

6/11/2008 02:20:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Moe-Neek is in charge, baby! Now she can tell everyone what to do. Excellent. Man, she is soooo HOTTTTTTTT!

6/11/2008 05:25:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

stingwire report?

========

actually STNGReport

Sun Times News Group Report

6/11/2008 06:43:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Monique Bondage...lighten up with the body work on the face. It's killing me when I have to see your puss on channel 5.

6/11/2008 07:30:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I LOVE MONIQUE. SIGNED PARIS HILTON

6/11/2008 08:20:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I THOUGHT ALL CALLS WENT THROUGH SEISER

6/11/2008 08:20:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I saw Pat Camden at traffic court the other day. Looked like an attorney. He must have got his degree on City time.

6/11/2008 10:39:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Pet store tory made me laugh my a$$ off. I was crying my eyes off

6/11/2008 10:52:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Haven't these morons ever played a game of "telephone" before? Don't they realize that the best, surest way to make certain a message get screwed up is to send it from one person to the next to the next before it is delivered?

Morons.

6/11/2008 03:11:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

monique bond looks like michael jackson is she black or white? Come on babe to much plastic, you have more done that tupperware!

6/11/2008 03:38:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

phonyque phond, sent to cpd by von booberman to report on phat phil, now reporting on j-phed, is a complete phreak and phucking nuts. she's a philogynist, walking the other side of the street. sorry guys! you have no chance! she's just phronting! and she believes herself to be a true phenomenon, but actually, her competence is a phantasm. phorgetaboudit!

6/11/2008 04:27:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

moan-eek has a face for radio !
see definately doesn't have an HD tv.

6/11/2008 06:23:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

take a look at Moneek up close not HOT ....just a AA diversity hack who should go back ohare and count airplanes

6/11/2008 06:24:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

OT, what was the CPD stance on Diamond and Tawana Bradleys mother NOT being charged with any offence when her daughters disappeared?? I mean they where both under 11 years old and left at home alone, why wasn't she charged with some sort of neglect or endangerment charge? did an ASA feel sorry for her???

6/11/2008 06:59:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey Monique, if I give you a quarter will you rub my feet?

6/11/2008 07:55:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

anonymous said...
stingwire report?

6/11/2008 02:20:00 AM
---

sun-times news wire

6/11/2008 07:57:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Unique Bondz looks like she had two fat earth worms that fell asleep on her mouff's.

6/11/2008 11:53:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Unique Bondz looks like she had two fat earth worms that fell asleep on her mouff's.

6/11/2008 11:53:00 PM

True, true, true!!!!! Her and Laura Flynn-Boyle! Freaky-deaky!

6/12/2008 10:04:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

To all concerned members:

Monique Bond is a fully owned subsidary of Jackie Heard - Mayoral Press Head. Frank Wilson of Finance too.

Fucking Idiots both!!!

6/12/2008 09:31:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Monique Bond is ugly and repulsive.

6/13/2008 12:37:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Don't you mess with my girl Moe-Neek. That is one good-looking woman.

SpankDaddy.

6/13/2008 07:40:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

MONIQUE YOU ARE STILL STUPID.

6/13/2008 10:28:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

she can't stop the bodies from going to the MEs, though ...

6/14/2008 07:07:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

HEY MONIQUE, I TALKED TO MOVIE DIRECTOR, GEORGE ROMERO , HE IS PLANNING ON MAKING A SEQUEL TO THE MOVIE ' NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD'. YOUR FACE WOULD BE PERFECT FOR IT.

6/14/2008 11:12:00 AM  

<< Home

Newer Posts.......................... ..........................Older Posts