Sarcasm and Silliness from a Windy City Cop
Labels: we got nothing
posted by SCC at 12:14 AM
If "Global Warming" is dead, can we get rid of Al Gore?
Today we bring you an interview with Professor Quincy Wagstaff.Stopthepresses:--- Good morning Professor Wagstaff.Professor Wagstaff:--- Here.Stopthepresses:--- I’d like to start this interview by asking you what school you graduated from?Professor Wagstaff:--- That’s fine; I’d like to start this interview by ending it.Stopthepresses:--- But Professor, I understand that you have an interesting theory on Global Warming?Professor Wagstaff:--- All right, I’ll give you one more chance, P.S. 37 Brooklyn, New York alt 61.Stopthepresses:--- We understand that you hold many different degrees; can we call you a doctor?Professor Wagstaff:--- Why wait for A Doctor, why not just call me an ambulance, a fine friend you turned out to be. Do I look sick? Quick someone get me a mirror.Professor Wagstaff:-- I am in a hurry. The ponies are running at the track today, don’t you know? So here’s my theory in a nutshell, on Global Warming Global Cooling, Creationism, Darwinism, Commercialism, Dwarfism all the isms. If a beaver builds a dam, what is that dam? Its part of nature, of course. If a bee builds a beehive, what is that beehive? It’s part of nature. If a bird builds a birdhouse, what….ah? Wait, never mind that. We don’t want to get the unions involved.Stopthepresses:--- Oh I get it, if a prairie dog builds a burrow…….Professor Wagstaff:--- Yes, yes I was born in Chicago the city on the prairie for which I’ve returned, but I’ll thank you to leave my Father out of this conversation. Now back to humans, if a man builds an office tower what is that office tower?Stopthepresses:--- Nature.Professor Wagstaff:--- That’s it, you got it. You see whatever a man does is part of nature. When a man builds something?Stopthepresses:--- Nature.Professor Wagstaff:--- When a man destroys something?Stopthepresses:--- Nature.Professor Wagstaff:--- When a man makes a machine that makes a steel can?Stopthepresses:--- Nature.Professor Wagstaff:--- When a man makes an auto and then drives that auto?Stopthepresses:--- Nature.Professor Wagstaff:--- And the exhaust that comes from that auto?Stopthepresses:--- Nature.Professor Wagstaff:--- Because a man is nature then whatever that man produces is part of nature. Just like the birds and the bees. So don’t get all excited about this global warming thing. Its only nature in action. Now just think of it son, you don’t have to waste all that time dragging your wife and kids out to the woods to commune with nature, you sleep in it every night. Just think of all the money you’ll save by camping in your own home.Stopthepresses:--- So a man is nature, therefore, whatever a man produces is natural, a part of nature. It’s such a brilliant and simple theory, why wasn’t it brought out before?Professor Wagstaff:--- Because there’s no money in it. You can’t make money by saying everything is ok, the sky is not falling, just use a little common sense. That’s why I am broke; can you lend me five bucks until Friday?Stopthepresses:--- Ah…Professor Wagstaff:--- Well, think on it a minute. Plus who in their right mind would listen to a person like Al Gore. You know Al Gore, he’s the one who says he invented the Internet, Well that’s nothing, I invented the Inter-Hair-Net. What is the Inter-Hair-Net you ask? I glad you asked. Most hair nets sit on top of your hair; you see that’s very unsightly. My Inter-Hair-Net sits on your head and then your wig sits on the Inter Hair-Net. No more unsightly hair nets. It will sell millions, moohahaha moohahaha (evil laughter, rubbing his hands together).Stopthepresses:--- Thank you Professor for this fine interview. We understand that you now live in Chicago and we look forward to many other interviews so you can depart your wisdom on our readers.Professor Wagstaff:--- Oh yeah, well you’ll have to find me first! But never mind that, what about them five bucks?
The guys making money off this nonsense are not going to be happy! Better ignore it.
OTAnything happen at the Police Board or Pension Board meetings recently?
It will be ignored. There's too much money to be made in "saving" us from ourselves. The Democrats are all lined up to line their pockets. Nothing like an "inconvenient bit of data" is going to stop that.
If government tax dollars are or were used for any of the research, when can we expect indictments? If a fraud was committed on the public and just one dollar of tax money was used, I want to see these idiots behind bars.Oh, that's right. ObaMAO won't allow that. Al Gore's bullshit needs to keep going full steam ahead.
It doesn't matter whether you believe in global warming or not. Anyone who is attentive knows that scientists disagree. New studies present differing theories on just about every subject. If you think the pollutants we add to the atmosphere will not be a problem one day, then please do not have kids! If you already have kids, get them neutered!
10-15000 years go there was this thing called the Ice Age. Chicago was under at least 1000 feet of ice. Mastadon and saber tooth tigers were part of the fauna. Man was relatively insignificant. All this ice melted in part giving you the Great Lakes. What caused it? Global warming. What caused the global warming? God!
@8:49 is right. Global warming is bunk. Al Gore is an ass. However, that doesn't mean that launching millions of useless tons of carbon into the air is not a problem. It doesn't mean that increasing our oil dependence on a-hole terrorists is not a problem. It just means it's a different problem than the global warming religionists think.I would think that the population on this board would be in favor of cutting our fossil fuel use so that we stopped needing oil from abroad and could nuke Chavez and the Arabs.
Green is the new Red. It's a way to control individuals, businesses, and indoctrinate youth in leftism.The democrats even run seminars to tell candidates in western states to refer to themselves as "conservationists",not "enviromentalists".This is how subtle they're double-speak bullshit has become. Hijacking a great American tradition's label to cover their evil agenda.Fuck Obama, and fuck that fat ass Al Gore.
Global Warming has morphed into "climate change"..Does anyone know how much money Gore has made touting this nonsense? stay safe
lots of ''global warming'' after a few white castles :-)
It is said Gore is on track to become the "1st Green" Billionaire in the U.S.He has gained so much wealth since leaving the V.P. mansion that he makes other former leaders look like welfare recipients.He is the biggest CON ARTIST of all time!
I would think that the population on this board would be in favor of cutting our fossil fuel use so that we stopped needing oil from abroad and could nuke Chavez and the Arabs.11/21/2009 11:20:00 AMBeing anti-Gore-warming doesn't mean that you don't care about the environment. It means that you care but don't want to be bullshitted about facts so that a pack of liberal commie shitheads can enrich themselves and push their leftist bullshit goals down the throats of real Americans.Hunters and fishers are the real conservationists. The liberal shits are on a mission to take over no matter what and will lie, cheat and steal along the way. That's the difference.
John Coleman, former Chicago weatherman (channel 9 I think) and founder of the weather channel said global warming was bullshit. Ill talk John Colman's opinion over Al Gore's any day
The liberal shits are on a mission to take over no matter what and will lie, cheat and steal along the way. That's the difference.thank god conservatives or the gop don't lie cheat or steal. i'm also sure they have no interest in enriching themselves. they are pure. right...the best that can be said is they MAY be slightly less evil. all any politician cares about is power and money. they all suck.
OH REALLY??? SYDNEY (AFP) – More than 100, and possibly hundreds, of Antarctic icebergs are floating towards New Zealand in a rare event which has prompted a shipping warning, officials said on Monday.An Australian Antarctic Division glaciologist said the ice chunks, spotted by satellite photography, had passed the Auckland Islands and were heading towards the main South Island, about 450 kilometres (280 miles) northeast.Scientist Neal Young said more than 100 icebergs -- some measuring more than 200 metres (650 feet) across -- were seen in just one cluster, indicating there could be hundreds more.He said they were the remains of a massive ice floe which split from the Antarctic as sea and air temperatures rise due to global warming.Still Want to cling to your theory ??
Did you read the part where this hasn't happened since...wait for it...2006? Wow. Three whole years. And the last time it happened before that was 1931 - a mere 75 years.For all anyone knows, these things happen on a 75 year cycle. Get it through your head - there are no geological records that go back that far and there is nothing to compare it to. We're still waiting for the global warming crowd to explain the last 10 years of zero increases. And then they can explain the hacked e-mails that explain exactly how they've been falsifying data for years - read the links because they admit that the e-mails are all theirs and all factual.
Why do you care so much SCC?
The question should be, "Why don't you?"We aren't willing to surrender our pocketbooks, tax money, economic growth and our children's futures on unproven BS.By the way, did you see the US Senate is looking to hold hearings on the fraudulent e-mails and hundreds of millions of our tax money pissed away? Check out Drudge for the latest.
my obsessive hatred of all that is daley and cityhall and j-fed occupies so much of my time I have no time for world events. my only hatred past the city is the other hated daley in washington, the smart one.
"We aren't willing to surrender our pocketbooks, tax money, economic growth and our children's futures on unproven BS."I'm not sure if your talking about the bullshit global warming mantra of doom or Sarah Palin's new book...I need some sleepy.
Just as a point of information: There really is not doubt that climate change is real. We know it has happened before, and as SCC has said we do not know for sure if it is cyclic or not. The issue being pursued is whether or not humans are causing damaging climate change or global warming. A lot rational scientists believe that mankind is incapable of having that kind of effect on the earth. It has survived many changes and catastophes over the millenia.
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