Bargaining Doesn't Help

Why not just invite him home with you for hugs and cookies?

• The man reported a group of four or five men took his iPod on June 9 while he was on the Red Line near the Clark/Division stop, prosecutors said. The man followed them onto the platform and offered them $30 if they would give the iPod back, but when he pulled the money out his wallet, one of the men punched him in the head and fled with the money. Chicago Transit Authority surveillance video shows the man chasing his assailants around the platform.

Anyone not see that one coming? Anyone? Yeah, we didn't think so.

Here's the hilarious part about the criminal though:

• Parron, 18, of the 6500 block of South Oakley Avenue, allegedly told police he had been one of the men’s attackers. He also had a stolen cell phone with him that belonged to a man who also had been mugged near the Chicago Avenue Red Line stop.
  
  Parron, who had a listed alias of “PP Man,” has been charged with two counts of robbery.
  

Caught a month later with someone else's stolen phone AND tagged with a nickname that will make him the belle-of-the-ball in the Cook County showers. Priceless.