Friday, May 11, 2018

NYPD Humor

CPD needs to follow this lead (click for larger version):


We've got plenty of talent reading here.

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35 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I guess it's the same all over.

5/11/2018 12:26:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

What about a Merit Rat Fink ribbon?
Mayor protection squad: silk, all black
(as in Black Ops)

5/11/2018 12:38:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

We should have a lucky to be the Police Award. It could have a bunch of lucky charms with a gold rainbow.

5/11/2018 01:04:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

A good percentage of our new hires will kill each other over that house mouse bar, you know, the ones that couldn't fight their way out of a paper bag and don't intend on ever getting into a position to have to. I mean, I didn't take this job to be the police! I wanted the vacations, medical and money.

5/11/2018 01:06:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Every Merit White Shirt should get a brown ribbon with a BIG "M"! That way before they speak everyone knows to move out of their way and stay clear of the Shit that is spayed out of Their mouth!

5/11/2018 01:19:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ass kissers can get one with red lips 👄 on a pink ribbon. It should come automatically with stars. To be given out at the Superintendent's Office.

5/11/2018 01:21:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

How about a white ribbon With pink dots for Supervisors who are afraid to make a decision or back up their officers. This job strangely went backwards.

5/11/2018 01:27:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

How about a gold ribbon with a car for all the car commanders out their.

5/11/2018 01:28:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

They should give out a ribbon for every 5 years in a District. A blue ribbon with let's say 011 in the center of the ribbon , and so on showing the District number. One for each District number. Most beat officers would have a hard time getting past five of these District ribbons if they moved around in this climate. This would make guys want to move around and it would show when someone never did any time in the District. In my time on the job I ran into a good number of people who had 20 plus years on the job and never did 5 years total in a District.

5/11/2018 01:38:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Anyone out there have a copy of the “Useless Day” order that was floating around 002 several years ago? That was a classic.

5/11/2018 01:47:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Definitely need merit bars: single bars for one merit bite, double bar for two merit bites, and of course triple for three merit bites. The bar will have a small apple in the middle showing an apple that has been bitten. The bite should be on the left side since the Apple logo has theirs on the right....we don’t want any copyright infringements . You would see at least one or two of these on each bosses chest.

5/11/2018 02:00:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

It is never good to mock the NYPD, for they are the world's greatest law enforcement agency. They are doing an outstanding job of keeping crime low in NYC.

5/11/2018 02:19:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wait until today's recognition ceremony where a lot of awards will be handed out like candy at Halloween. Odds are that there will be over 150 people getting them. The sad thing is that many who deserve the honor will just become part of the chaff and not get the recognition they deserve.

5/11/2018 04:54:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

God....We Coppers have such GREAT HUMOR. Brilliant, just BRILLIANT.....And SOOOOOO TRUE with these Ribbons.....

5/11/2018 06:45:00 AM  
Anonymous Michael Dean Miller said...

.

The "Surrender Ribbon" should be in the colors of the French flag. Blue, white, red.

.

5/11/2018 07:55:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

House Mouse Bar is the way to go, kids.

Find a way to get off the fuckin street.

Don’t get jack potted by Rahm, the “community”, or SJWs.

5/11/2018 07:59:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Anonymous said...
A good percentage of our new hires will kill each other over that house mouse bar, you know, the ones that couldn't fight their way out of a paper bag and don't intend on ever getting into a position to have to. I mean, I didn't take this job to be the police! I wanted the vacations, medical and money.


I wouldn't be embarrassed to be one of these smart individuals.

5/11/2018 08:35:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Anonymous said...
They should give out a ribbon for every 5 years in a District. A blue ribbon with let's say 011 in the center of the ribbon , and so on showing the District number. One for each District number. Most beat officers would have a hard time getting past five of these District ribbons if they moved around in this climate. This would make guys want to move around and it would show when someone never did any time in the District. In my time on the job I ran into a good number of people who had 20 plus years on the job and never did 5 years total in a District.

5 years ! I know a new dick that has only about 8 months on the street !

5/11/2018 09:11:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

All true!!

5/11/2018 09:31:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

What about a Team PP suck ribbon??

5/11/2018 09:31:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I nominate the officer assigned to the cardinals house for all three awards.....he has earned them! Thanks for a job well done.

5/11/2018 10:32:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


Every Merit White Shirt should get a brown ribbon with a BIG "M"! That way before they speak everyone knows to move out of their way and stay clear of the Shit that is spayed out of Their mouth!

Your late on that M. The 012th district second watch management po’s had it first. Some of the proudly wear a letter M pin on their uniform. That includes the 6 foot zombie at O’Hare on third watch. The one “without” a phone call who went in the middle of the period to avoid going to midnights in 012.

5/11/2018 10:35:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well played.

5/11/2018 10:43:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sad and funny all at the same time... Oh, and don't forget that "The Mouse" has lawyers. Disney gets a sniff of this and it's all over...

5/11/2018 11:36:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Lots of two - three years "officers" working inside already.

5/11/2018 12:25:00 PM  
Blogger SpankDaddy said...

Love it.

5/11/2018 02:12:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

How about a yellow Ribbon and every time we get a new Superintendent that makes the Department more yellow we could add a arrow pointing down to signify the Department is moving more fucked up and scared.

5/11/2018 04:35:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

How about we just remove the Police patch from our back and replace it with report takers. Can I get an event number squad.

5/11/2018 04:37:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

How about we get a black ribbon to mark a dark day for Police and handcuffs in the center to represent how the police have their hands tied. We also should have button with Rahm and Special Ed to show who got us here. Put that right under Ed's Star. Hey Ed I can't wait to give you my star. I am just counting the days. I also can't wait to move.

5/11/2018 05:03:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

How about Commanders who were merit promoted from Sgt to all the way to Commander. It should be tiny gold knee pads on a bootyhole backdrop. Can you please help me call them out???

5/11/2018 05:56:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Anonymous said...
Lots of two - three years "officers" working inside already.

5/11/2018 12:25:00 PM

There are more detectives working on the inside at any given Area than actually working the street at crime scenes...

5/11/2018 06:17:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

What ever happened to that de-escalante award?

5/11/2018 08:12:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

How about Commanders who were merit promoted from Sgt to all the way to Commander. It should be tiny gold knee pads on a bootyhole backdrop. Can you please help me call them out???

Commander Joe Tirado totally a merit hack from the start. Wish I was part of the latin connection. This guy while at fugitive apprehension made no bones about his wack and knew he was moving up. I was promoted by my score not because I'm a suckass. To bad I wont go any higher but I'm ok with that.

5/11/2018 10:38:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


Your late on that M. The 012th district second watch management po’s had it first. Some of the proudly wear a letter M pin on their uniform. That includes the 6 foot zombie at O’Hare on third watch. The one “without” a phone call who went in the middle of the period to avoid going to midnights in 012.

Rules, transfers details don’t mean crap. Bosses do as they want, are never questioned and no one questions or police them. They detail people for years, if you want to move you get detailed and it isn’t counted in the management spots. Want to be on days, bid for midnights and get detailed to days. Then the guy with more time gets stuck on your spot on midnights

5/11/2018 11:48:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

How about the "My Daddy is the Most Arrogant Deputy Chief, and I'll Get Every Award He wants" ribbon?

5/12/2018 07:23:00 AM  

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