Wednesday, September 19, 2018

This Will Work GREAT!

  • Chicago’s new Amazon Go store, marketed as “just walk out” shopping, drew curious downtown workers and passersby with its novelty and cashier-less convenience on Monday, its first day of business.

    To shop, customers first had to download the Amazon Go app — a process made easier with free wi-fi provided by the company.
From the pictures and the stories, we didn't see any security staff on hand and the "gates" were two panels of plexiglass about thigh high that Granny Clampett could push through in a pinch. Sure, there are cameras, but under the current regime, we don't expect them to be used for prosecution.

We might be cynical as Hell, but we are already thinking of these things as "Food Divvy's."

Labels:

44 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

This is okay though, its people trying to feed their families against a large corporation that makes billions. Just one little item taken won't do them harm... as a matter of fact all stores make money and the people making free purchases do it because they are less fortunate so let's just get rid of retail theft as a crime and everything will be ok. The stores will make money because those who have morals will still pay and the less fortunate get free stuff and the police wont have to lock up another innocent person.It's a win win.

9/19/2018 12:08:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The "progressives" running that company prolly priced it so the chumps paying for their shit are also paying for communerty "shrinkage".

9/19/2018 12:20:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

SCC, were you talking about our Granny Clampett or the real Granny Clampett?

9/19/2018 12:23:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Too funny rolling this out in Chicago.

There’s a segment of the Chicago population who doesn’t give a shit if you have to pay, they just walk out anyway.

They’re going to LOVE this!

9/19/2018 12:27:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

App didn’t work... I will process the transaction later

9/19/2018 01:35:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I was at target on Jackson, and I notice a homeless guy eating all this organic crap — guess I figured out why he had a bag of this over priced slop

9/19/2018 01:37:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

At least the hungry masses will get fed nutritious food.

9/19/2018 01:38:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

the video is gonna be really amusing

9/19/2018 04:07:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well, not to worry, there will be Musk flame throwers, and, the soon to be announced, Musk Magical Disintegration Blaster, robot controlled and set to burn or, later this year, blast any who dare to cross that -You No Pay, You Gone Today!!!- line, which will be both trending and just fucking fine as a silk thread.

The torching will, per Musk standards, be thorough and leave only substances which melt above 1,200°C, while the eagerly awaited blaster will result in a mere puff of mist where once there was a sticky fingered lad or lass.

The upsides to both methods are:

1. No body, no identification of.

2. No complaint, thus, no crime.

3. Musk automatic security survelliance system programmed, via facial recognition, to delete all video of eliminated pest(s), thus, no proof of event occurence.

4. Any patrons present will be soothéd by the proprietary audio streaming of Musk's legendary Forgettaboit memory modification therapy instrument, thus, no witnesses to the event that did not occur.

5. All employees, being well trained and chipped, will be reliably as if they were never there.

6. Should law enforcement officer(s) happen to either be there shopping or been erroneously dispatched to scene of event that did not occur, management shall issue complementary pre-loaded, hand held demo(s) of the also yet to be presented.....wait for it......combo bullshit detector/nutsack melting blaster, a revolutionary technical advancement reserved for issuance to bonafide, verified, actual patrol officers.

7. Musk Industries, as is their custom, thoroughly disavows any knowledge of knowing what the fuck they are doing, thus, are a perfect fit partner of the Amazon Amazing App Attaboy, Luther......


I go take nap now......

9/19/2018 04:18:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

HAHAHAHA LMAO "Food Divvys" my hats off to you sir that is freakin hilarious

9/19/2018 05:22:00 AM  
Blogger stash the polski guy said...

wait until the piss bum community hears about this.

can i get a box of franzia with dat pastrami sammich?

9/19/2018 05:50:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sounds good.
So how do they actually know if you’re using the app? Why anybody could claim they are and if stopped? Blame your phone..

9/19/2018 06:21:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

It's the end of the "food desert".

9/19/2018 06:42:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Who cares. Amazon pays me $60/hr to work security outside one of their facilities, sitting in a squad and directing traffic for the felons going to and from their seasonal “jobs”, before they get fired for stealing. As long as Amazon stays in business, they can open whatever kind of store they want.

9/19/2018 07:40:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Anonymous said...
This is okay though, its people trying to feed their families against a large corporation that makes billions. Just one little item taken won't do them harm... as a matter of fact all stores make money and the people making free purchases do it because they are less fortunate so let's just get rid of retail theft as a crime and everything will be ok. The stores will make money because those who have morals will still pay and the less fortunate get free stuff and the police wont have to lock up another innocent person.It's a win win.

9/19/2018 12:08:00 AM

How the f%$k is ok to steal? I don't care if it's a multi-billion dollar corporation or the local pop and chip store. Don't take what you haven't legally obtained. How damned hard is that?

9/19/2018 07:46:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Free shit!!!

9/19/2018 07:59:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

its bezos way of showing he cares.......

9/19/2018 08:09:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Community members will make it a destination of their Red Line excursion.

9/19/2018 08:20:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I beg to differ SCC, let a police officer who is off duty walk in there and take something without paying for it and under this regime I can almost guarantee that we will have a 3-D, high-definition version of that officer taking said items.

9/19/2018 08:21:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The community will rob it blind. Peoples and folks deserve free stuff.

9/19/2018 08:29:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

001 is gonna have to detail a car there to knock out reports all day...

9/19/2018 08:36:00 AM  
Blogger Mr. SouthSide said...

Is there an over/under on how long this store will last?

9/19/2018 08:37:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Been there twice and receipt and everything worked fine. You need to scan to get in and if you look up you’ll see basically every square inch covered with cameras. It’s far easier to steal from a 7/11 across the street.

9/19/2018 08:43:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Will they have specials each day? Or maybe two for one days for the fugal folks.

9/19/2018 08:55:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This is okay though, its people trying to feed their families against a large corporation that makes billions. Just one little item taken won't do them harm... as a matter of fact all stores make money and the people making free purchases do it because they are less fortunate so let's just get rid of retail theft as a crime and everything will be ok. The stores will make money because those who have morals will still pay and the less fortunate get free stuff and the police wont have to lock up another innocent person.It's a win win

I Really hope this is sarcasm Nobody can be that naive Really If it's real seek mental health care immediately

9/19/2018 09:05:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I hope that more businesses follow this model! Then the flash mobs will assemble, and steal everything that these fools have for sale. Poetic justice aligns with Social Justice!

9/19/2018 09:07:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wait until the “red train” folks hear about this one.

9/19/2018 09:15:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

IF you think that store will not have multiple people standing by the door you is CRAZY.

I figure they will go with 1 top flight security guard and some elderly seniors (WALMART).

9/19/2018 09:19:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Just a little SJW company doing what a SJW does.......
Perhaps they were getting too much heat cuz most of their full time employees are also so lowly paid that they are qualified for food stamps each month.....so now they have eliminated the employees too.......
Me? I will NEVER EVER use a self service anything at ANY store.......self service takes a job away from a citizen who needs it......I also don't use the ATM....for cash.....I go to a real person at a bank......all these companies are rolling in cash.....while the middle class is literally dying......just me doing my bit for all the little guys who need their jobs......all these millenials who use all these "quick and convenient services" are going to be really surprised in the years to come when they find their big $$$ jobs being phased out for robots......
Ain't that right, Mr Jeff Bezos? Worlds richest man......who won't even pay his employees a living wage, who are the reason for his success.

9/19/2018 09:42:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Why don't they invest in the South Side?

9/19/2018 09:47:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Why would Amazon want a "store" when the whole point of Amazon is not to have a store. isn't the whole point to order from your home or abroad and have it delivered to your domicile??

9/19/2018 10:14:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Good place for criminals to troll with skimmers.....

9/19/2018 10:14:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Uh no. When you check out it scans your Amazon customer number and bills your account. Technology, learn to live with it.

9/19/2018 10:40:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

We're fast approaching the day when the business model that can offer "thugless shopping" will win the market.

9/19/2018 11:11:00 AM  
Blogger Birds&Blooms said...

No security? They'd better not call 911 when they're robbed.

In NC, while flooding persists, a Family Dollar Store was looted. They, 'alter boys' collected every last item. NCPD were told to stand back.
Owner must have been delighted, discovering smashed windows and door at his/her establishment.

9/19/2018 11:14:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This is another social justice disaster waiting to happen by the Left leaning Progressive idiot Democrats!

They get all the crime they deserve!

9/19/2018 02:52:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yep, that should work really well

9/19/2018 04:20:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Tolerant, Welcoming and Providing.

Y’all expected to pay $8.99 plus tax for that 8 oz. low cal gluten free polyunsaturated carb free global jojoba kefir and then watch as on top of ALLLLLLLLLLLLLL the other Free Stuff they get, bet on joe leech to be there with his personal stolt Jewels’ buggy loading up and walking out, waltzing that is, untouchable.

Can’t fix crazy, Stay Fetal. Stealing is not your problem.

9/19/2018 04:35:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

9/19 9:42AM I applaud you. I am being most sincere. Most don't put this together.

9/19/2018 05:03:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Just like Starbucks, Amazon will be apologizing to certain segments of the population when they want something for nothing...

9/19/2018 06:26:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

.....Ain't that right, Mr Jeff Bezos? Worlds richest man......who won't even pay his employees a living wage, who are the reason for his success.

9/19/2018 09:42:00 AM


These tech "wizard" billionaires must actually believe they can upload themselves into an android body and keep their fortunes in perpetuity.

Apparently, they have missed the possibility of some random act of violence crushing their neat, android skulls into recycle material.

But, wait, you say, they'll have multiple copies of their essence stored safely on the servers scattered throughout the world?

A single successful hack, and they all become redundant code sent straight to the recyle bin, then deleted.

But, hey, they be living it large now, so, that's all that matters.

Until the cancer kicks in.

And keeps kicking. And kicking. And kicking. And kicking.......

Ah, sweet and bitter mystery of life......

9/19/2018 08:25:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Why don't they invest in the South Side?

9/19/2018 09:47:00 AM


They have yet to perfect their system for auto incineration of cadeavors.

Trust they are working, dildogently, on ironing out the wrinkles.

Once perfected, the system will likely be open to Amazon app users only.

Thus, the efficiencies demonstrated and displayed by the success of the facility which is subject of this posting can be seen as the preview of future achievements within the realm of customer servicing.

Demand beckons Supply and Amazon heeds the carrion call!!!!

9/20/2018 07:14:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


Anonymous Anonymous said...
Been there twice and receipt and everything worked fine. You need to scan to get in and if you look up you’ll see basically every square inch covered with cameras. It’s far easier to steal from a 7/11 across the street.

9/19/2018 08:43:00 AM

So we end up with a bunch of fabulous pictures of thieves. Then what? Who makes a report? Who requests enforcement? How are they identified? Who goes to court?

9/20/2018 10:49:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

So the less fortunate have no morals? I do believe he was funnin

9/22/2018 10:43:00 PM  

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