Happy St. Patrick's Day
The boys over at the NYPD Rant are celebrating in a big way and have an entire thread devoted to jokes of, about, and at the expense of the Irish. Our favorites so far:
- Paddy was driving down the street in a sweat because he had an important meeting and couldn't find a parking place. Looking up to heaven he said, "Lord take pity on me. If you find me a parking place I will go to Mass every Sunday for the rest of me life and give up me Irish Whiskey". Miraculously, a parking place appeared. Paddy looked up again and said, "Never mind, I found one."
- Father Murphy walks into a pub in Donegal, and says to the first man he meets, "Do you want to go to heaven?" The man said, "I do Father." The priest said, "Then stand over there against the wall." Then the priest asked the second man, "Do you want to got to heaven?" Certainly, Father," was the man's reply. "Then stand over there against the wall," said the priest. Then Father Murphy walked up to O'Toole and said, "Do you want to go to heaven? O'Toole said, "No, I don't Father. The priest said, "I don't believe this. You mean to tell me that when you die you don't want to go to heaven?" O'Toole said, "Oh, when I die, yes. I thought you were getting a group together to go right now."
posted by SCC at 5:15 PM
48 Comments:
Thanks for those jokes, you really brightened up what was otherwise a lously day.
Indeed... everybody celebrate safe!
SECOND!!!
Remember, don't drink and drive. You'll only spill your beer.
a toast to everyone!!!!!!!!!!! Have fun and be safe!!
Although I have never agreed with lefty, I do Have to finish what he started.
1. Lived at home til he was thirty;
2. Preferred hanging out with twelve guys rather than one girl;
3. His mother thought he was god;
4. His dad got him a job in the trades;
5. He convinced his mom that the wine he got at the bar (at a family wedding) was actually water.
While having lunch, Tommabunns once changed a twinkie into a pair of handcuffs, and then wrastled a wild one to the ground cuz he gave Tomma the fisheye.
Tommabunns chased all the snakes out of Ireland.
5:44 You have offended and blasphemed the Lord. I have issued a Fatwa proclaiming a jihad against you and SCC. Infidel, Europe will burn and hundreds will die for your words! (note to the Feds-don't trace my computer this is literary sarcasm).
Top of the morning to you
From O'Seiser
HELP!
Make no mistake. This is a desperate cry for help. A couple of police officers told me about this site. I am NOT a city employee.
I have invested a large sum of money into buying my home in the 2300 block of Monroe St.
Enter Ald. Madeline Haithcock and her "brainstorm" to rename our block "Chairman Fred Hampton Way". No one asked for input from those of us who now live on this block. If they had asked, her proposal would lose in a landslide.
A week ago, a neighbor was approached by two unsavory looking strangers that all but demanded that a "Stroger" election sign be posted on their property. They went away after the neighbor lied and said that they will vote for Mr. Stroger but no signs.
Several neighbors and I were also approached by two well-dressed African-American men about renaming our street after Hampton who one called a "martyr". We lied, telling them that that would be just fine.
I then phoned the police station on Racine to complain about intimidation. The officer insisted that I give my name and address. I said "forget it" and hung up.
Many of my neighbors and I fear for our safety if we protest the renaming of our street. We don't appreciate the possibility of a Molotov cocktail being tossed into our home, if not worse.
Who would want their street named after the leader of criminals who openly advocated murdering members of the police force?
All we want is to live in peace without jeopardizing our safety, We cannot trust the media or the politicians.
The officers told us that we should not have moved here in the first place. If they put up that sign, I will sell with the hope of just recouping my investment mistake.
We are at our wit's end. Why doesn't Haithcock put up the sign in her own block and leave us alone?
As long as we can remain anonymous for obvious reasons, can anyone give us advice?
I apologize for interrupting your St. Patrick's Day jokes. Please help us.
Why doesn't Haithcock put up the sign in her own block and leave us alone?
Why don't you ask her?
FEAR OF REPRISALS
We don't trust the politicians or the media. I refuse to jeopardize the lives of my loved ones over her hare-brained idea.
Call me a coward, if you must. I have to live here with these dangerous jerks.
Watched a show today, about a book called "My Father's Gun". Its written by a third generation NYC cop (about being a NYC cop). Long story short...they interview his dad about being one of the first to "illegally" move out of the city. You see it was, at one time, a requirement to live in the city. It was a local and state law. They talk about it like it was part of an unfair system from when the department was in a prehistoric mindset, like it would be unheard of today. Just reminds me of what a backwards, behind the times, corrupt dictatorship this city is.
Get together with your neighbors, hire a good attorney downtown, I suggest Matt Piers, and see if you can get an injuction against the renaming of the street to honor Hampton. Since your investment will clearly be in the toilet and there is no one to sue personally to recoup, you can certainly argue that there is no other adequate remedy at law. In fact, it appears that you and your neighbors may be the only ones who can actually stop this nonsence because you are the only one who will suffer actual harm. The standard for bringing something like this into court.
If your building is a 2-flat, I would consider buying it for $125,000.
That new resident on Monre street better not own a gun! If he does the A/2 Gun Team will enter 012 and lock him up and get a trophy from Daley.
Shut up and put that sign in the yard and maybe they'll leave you alone.
I also live in the same block. A neighbor told me about this blog. That damn alderwoman is stirring up a real mess here.
We all live in fear because of her stupidity. My phone call to City Hall was useless. I don't even want to deal with that crazy Haithcock.
You'd think that with Tuesday's election coming up, we could have a precinct referendum on this insanity.
Is there any answer besides litigation? I already have a 12 guage shotgun and an unregistered handgun with my state ID card..
I paid much, much more for my home than $125k.
N.I.M.B.Y. (Not In My Back Yard)
I respectfully ask for a sincere answer to our dilemma. We are ardent supporters of the police force. They should pay you much more.
Please help us. In this case, sarcasm does not help. I'll even admit that I was a fool to buy here. What to do?
I must go shortly. I will check in over the weekend.
Sincerely,
A Resident of the 2300 block of Monroe Street.
Q:Why do so many Irish men become priests?
A:If you only had a 3 inch cock.... What else would you do?
__________________________________
Q:Why do black men join the priesthood?
A:To give the 3 inch Irish priest 9 inches of dick when they pray for a big dick!
Sincerely,
Rabbit Neil Maas
A drunken female cop needs to decide which male cop to screw tonight. She has a choice of an Irish cop, a Black cop and a Jewish cop.
She thinks... well I kow the jew is circumsized, I know the black cop is super sized and I heard the Irish guy can screw for over a hour... but the bad part is you won't feel him inside you!
Rolling on the floor laughing my ass off on the Irish "small cock" Curse jokes
The trick to get the anti-handgun law overturned in the courts is simple. Under the freedom of information act, order OECC tapes of the numerous calls in busy districts during RAP's and no cars available status as MEN WITH GUNS, ROBBERIES, VIOLENT CRIMES AGAINST PEOPLE calls go unassigned for up to 20-30 minutes.
And ask the City of Chicago how we can spend hundred of millions of dollars on new parks and bullshit and yet complain we are short cash to hire cops to bring the numbers up to par.
We never had a problem on Monroe or Madison Streets when it was skid row. We all drank and got along. And a monthly hotel room was only 85 bucks a month.
You fucking working people and yuppies screwed it all up!
Hey 2300 Monroe, this issue has been all over the news for the past 2 weeks. Do you guys live in a cave?
First things first, the police are not going to give out your name to anyone if you file a police report. Even if someone gets a copy, the pertinent info is blacked out. That's part of the problem: citizens want something done, but won't stand up and identify themselves when necessary. We can't do a thing if someone won't step up to the plate.
If you're that scared then maybe you should move. I considered buying in your area, but after driving through a few times at all hours of the day and night, I decided, "Hell No! I'm not an urban pioneer."
I suggest you and your neighbors band together and head on down to the next City Council meeting on March 29th (or is it 28th) and voice your displeasure in the street renaming idea.
I'm a Black female P.O. and think the whole idea of naming a street after a known racist and killer is a joke and disgrace.
Good luck.
When I die I want to have enough seniority to get days at the airport.. I hear the airports full with the half dead.
Off topic. V.C.G uniform store on Irving park road is inflating prices on equiptment P/O's are required to have for this protest. example, b.d.u caps a few weeks ago(prior to being mandatory) 10.00. now (part of B.D.U uniform)14.50. name tag that goes on b.d.u chest protector last week 7.00 today 10.00. I know it doesn't sound like much, but over time they are screwing coppers....food for thought..I refuse to buy equiptment from them anymore........
I was in terminal one with my small boy and he started yelling "look at the dinasor, look at the dinasor!"
when i looked up it was a P.O. with a 1a/1b Furlough.
Hey 27 year vet, your a real jag off, keep letting us know how much time you have on the job. If your so great, why don't you bid out there and see if you could hack it. The last transfer only needed 24 yrs time on the job,keep going on your calls and serving the citizens with your bad additude. Bitch
Happy St. Pat's day.
I am finally doing my taxes tomorrow. can anyone tell me how much we pay in union dues per check.
thanks much.
FOP publishes the total you're supposed to claim in the newsletter. It's been in the past two months.
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This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
To Monroe street residents: Try contacting Kass from the tribune or Brown from the Sun Times. If you can get the residents together they might be interested in the story and bring some heat. You could also try to attend the next council meeting hopefully surrounded by numerous protesting police officers. Since your alderwoman wont listen its time to change your alderwoman. She probably isnt smart enough to realize the neighborhood is changing around her and now soon enough she will have to pander to the yuppies. Oh by the way, welcome to Chicago.
I'm not sure, but I think Haithcock has a severely gerrymandered ward that also includes the largely-gentrified south loop/near south side. If true, anybody should be able to take her out now what with all the gentrification.
Anybody got an accurate map of her ward?
To 2300 Monroe St., Jesus H. Chris-, can't you stick up for what you believe in. You say some black men asked for your approval to put up a sign and you said ok. WTF? Tell them NO. Quit being intimidated by the man. LOOK them straight in the eyes and say NO, WE don't want that sign, if they keep bothering you call 911 and have a car sent over. DO SOMETHING! Quit hiding and waiting for someone else to bail yourself out. If you cannot stand up for yourself, move out of that neighborhood, you need to get streetwise brother. The police cannot solve your problems when you hide behind them.
Next month those two black men will come over and demand your house keys and take it away from you, and you better be ready!
I miss iras!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
That tact sgt in 24 coconut is irish and gay
You boys have been spending too much time in Lil Jim's back room.
Sounds like you boys like talking about "DICK", while the rest of us men would rather talk about girls.
Hey! what ever gives you a stiffy there boys.
But for me I rather concern myself with my own package and not what you peek at in the locker room or read on the washroom walls on Halsted St.
When I was a younger policeman we used to drink our beers and chase the girls.
What do you guys talk about when you are swilling your white wine. I guess it's your pecs and peckers.
When enjoy yourselves homoboys!
Irish women invented the gossip that Irish men are small, that keeps all the half breeds away from our men, us real women know what Irishmen have and it's nothing to be ashamed of.
Tact Sgt in 024 is ok, they have bigger problems. they got new locks on the doors, so low life blue shirts cant see all the pissers and drinker arrest and the two secretaries doing nothing.
HI GAY POLICE,
I AM A GAY IRISH CAPTAIN FROM CHICAGO. IF MY WATCH DOES NOT REFER TO ME AS CAPTAIN GIANT JOINT, I HAVE THEM TRANSFERED.
They put locks like that in 011 about a month ago. Everytime I walk by, I always laugh and think, "They must be hiding State secrets in there that they're afraid the squeegee guy from Van Buren and California, that they keep locking up, might steal." lol
We have ONE (1) computer for blue shirts in 024. and the 3.5 tact/gang offices with two secretaries have about 10. 40 people Vs. 350?. that we are now locked out of. rumor was it the new LT kicked out a detailed tact team.
We have one of those level 2 DOC areas and the tact/gang guys are never in it. Though the "visiting" districts and saturation units are allways there.
Check the TWO (2) City Cameras that are there and count the amount of times in the 4 hours of work you see a 024th district tact/gang car.
We see you come in at 6ish goto dinner hit the streets at 8ish and home by midnight. Then call for a car to do paper cause it will take time away from your pisser arrest.
Thats right im crying like a bitch.
I get there before them leave after. and i have too do more and get the same pay.
Maybe because you are an illiterate dumbfuck!
Write a clear and concise sentence so that people can take you seriously.
did you need me to explain something to you?
Anonymous said...
did you need me to explain something to you?
3/20/2006 11:33:45 AM
Yes.
How the fuck you graduated from the 8th grade?
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