Friday, September 19, 2008


Avast ye scurvy bastards, 'tis Talk Like A Pirate Day!

Official site here.

Translate English into Pirate here.

And still the funniest Pirate joke we've heard:
  • This pirate walks into a bar with a big ship's wheel down his pants. The bartender says, "Excuse me, sir, but do you know you have a ship's wheel down the front of your pants?"
    And the pirate says...
    "Aaargh, it's driving me nuts!!"
Hoist the anchor, we're off to the Isle of 35 and we be pillagin' and burnin' and thar be plenty o' keelhaulin' to be done. Maybe a wee bit o' walkin' the plank to finish the evening? Whar be our hook?



Anonymous Anonymous said...

Best Pirate Song: THE PIRATE SONG, by Roger Mc Guinn [Byrds] . " Lusting for the Spaniards Gold, and yearning to desire it, Will make a man so Brash and Bold, He'll soon become a PIRATE"
Hoist the Jolly Roger, AArgh !

9/19/2008 12:12:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


9/19/2008 12:37:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Arrr, Holy Talk Like a Pirate Batman!!!

Fuck the 009th District Commander cock sucker...ignorant fucker he be.

9/19/2008 01:12:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


No scallywag will ever find my hidden treasure..Arrg...

Your Captain,
Dick Daley

9/19/2008 02:11:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

A new seaman (and that's a joke in itself) came aboard the pirate ship and encountered the captain, a weathered man with a hook for his right hand and a patch over his right eye.

"Goodness, sir, but I imagine there are some remarkable stories about your hand and your eye!" he said to the Captain.

"Damn right," the captain replied. "I lost my hand to a shark when we were winching up a trunk of booty from a ship we'd sunk only hours before. The shark was trying to chew on the rope, and if the rope broke, the treasure was lost, so I leapt into the water and began to beat at the shark -- 20 feet if he was an inch -- and we battled on and on. He eventually took my hand, yeah, and I had to have this hook put on...but the treasure was ours, and it was a glorious treasure."

"What an amazing story," the young man said. "And your Eye? What sort of remarkable tale can you tell about your eye?"

"Oh that," the captain said. "That came when a seagull dropped some shit from the sky and it hit me right there."

"Seagull shit?," the young man said, confused. "How could a dropping of seagull shit do that to your eye?"

The captain said, "Well, I was still getting used to the hook, ya see..."

9/19/2008 08:10:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

What smells BAD but looks GREAT in the ground, and smells TERRIBLE and looked WORST on the street?
AAAAARRRRR Eugene Pincham.
Stay in the ground and continue to rot, you festering pus filled boil of evil fuckness. I wish I knew voodoo, I'd bring you back from the dead just so I could kill your fucking zombie over and over again.
Your Eternal Enemy

9/19/2008 09:43:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ayyyyy Carrrrrramba !

9/19/2008 09:54:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Why couldn't the kid see the pirate movie?

It was rated AAAAARRRRGH.
(Too much booty.)

9/19/2008 11:30:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...




9/19/2008 12:24:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This was funny the last time, for those of you where over the side or stuck in the head...

A pirate goes into a restaurant in a Scottish seaport. The waitress come to the table hands him a menu and in a thick accent tells him that the special today is, "rrrib rroast and rrice."

"Arrgghhh", says the pirate, "you rrreally rrroll your R's!"

"Yes", she blushes, "especially when I wear hi-heels."

9/19/2008 12:51:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Shiver me timbers, load up my nines,

Da po lice ain't stoppin me fer commitin my crimes,

They be scared of indictments for doin their job,

Well as long the J-Feds here, their blinders are on...

Hand me another box, matey...

ARRRRRRRRRGH, who's next chalkie...

9/19/2008 01:34:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


9/19/2008 01:54:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

9/19/2008 02:44:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

An oldie but........
A drunk walks into a bar with an oversized pirates hat on, a patch over his eye and a sword.
The bartender says, "What the hell are you supposed to be?"
The drunk slurs in response, " I'm a fuggin' pirate, you idiot!"
The barkeep then inquires, "IF you're a pirate, where's your Buccaneers?"
The drunk says..." under my buccan-hat!"

9/19/2008 02:49:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Its me friday matey, splice the mainbrace .... aaaargh !!

9/19/2008 03:08:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

the new chicago flag is...

our friend the fiendishly grinning jolly roger hoisting and extinguished olympic torch...

9/19/2008 03:40:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


No scallywag will ever find my hidden treasure..Arrg...

Your Captain,
Dick Daley

9/19/2008 02:11:00 AM

OMG. Funny!

9/19/2008 04:50:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I say we put on our eye patches and striped shirts and make all the arrrgggdercreatures and Mayor Sharrrrggghhshanks walk the plank!!!! Which one gets to put their feet to the board first????


9/19/2008 05:24:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I was at the Cubs game was arrrrrguably the worst Cubs game I was at.

9/19/2008 07:06:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The FOP is me BARRRRGining unit.

Me contract is a LETTER OF MARK(Donahue)

9/19/2008 07:45:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I remember being in the academy not long ago and this LT. assigned there used to come in and tell "corny" PIRATE jokes all the time......Said we all sounded like Pirates as we sat in the class...

I remember he looked like Groucho Marx a bit with Grey Hair ...forgot his name but he seemed to know how to handle the MEN!

Not necessarily the women but the MEN!

9/19/2008 10:35:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

the new chicago flag is...

our friend the fiendishly grinning jolly roger hoisting and extinguished olympic torch...

That would be a great t-shirt-move over chalkie!!!

9/19/2008 10:38:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The Lt. from the academy that told the pirate jokes is now the 017th district commander.

9/19/2008 11:24:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Mike Caplan, the fill-in weather guy on channel 7, just announced it's Talk Like a Pirate Day, then proceed to TALK LIKE A PIRATE. Argggghhhhhh!

9/19/2008 11:54:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Boss at the Academy with Gray hair that looked like Groucho MARX ? Sounds like CHASEN to me, AARGH!!!

9/20/2008 11:54:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

way funny! lota of puns!

9/21/2008 06:10:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

hoist the jolly rancher??

*... so does that mean pirate booty is many colors and fruity??

(... kazoo band in the background.
"places everyone"! ... cue shavedlongcock & or keesing bandit!)

9/22/2008 02:51:00 AM  
Anonymous Boot Strap Turner said...

How did Capt. Hook die?

Jock itch! AAARRRRRRRR!!!

Now that's ye oldest joke, dredged from Davey Jones Locker.

9/22/2008 02:41:00 PM  

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