Funny People
You've got to love coppers:
If they can't find the humor, they make the humor.
If they can't find the humor, they make the humor. Labels: silly people
posted by SCC at 12:05 AM
Monday, May 17, 2010
Contributors
Previous Posts
- Reversing Cause and Effect
- Detroit Tragedy
- J-Fled Watch
- Knife Ban on the Way
- Hitman Dies in Jail
- Buffer Pleads Guilty - Again
- Second City Construction
- CPD Enforcers Game
- Fender Bender - Shots Fired
- Suspicious "Substance"?
93 Comments:
Love it. You know they will be trying to identify where that configuration of trees is too.
This made me laugh hard! FIVE STARS for creativity.
I'm going to make one that says "2%"
off topic.not the police.
anybody hear about the chase sunday night involving niles police into 016.they went past my house at about 80 mph. young kid driving slams into a tavern about 5700 milwaukee.the kid was laying on the ground.just wonder if the kid lived.only one car involved.nobody else hurt.not used to seeing stuff that bad.stay safe.
LOVE IT!!!!!!
I'm loving it!
.......funny how? Funny like a clown?
Another soaked keyboard, damnit!
Brilliant. Now all we need are the yellow T-shirts with a stick-figure of a sprinting pussycat under "J-FLED" and above "GOTTA RUN!".
Ditto with yellow bumper stickers reading:
J-FLED: "GOTTA RUN!"
Meow, you muthafuckin' COWARD!
The transmission only works in REVERSE. LMAO!
j-fled would never ride around in a marked car--- if he was flagged down he would have to call for the real police to give the complainant an answer because he doesn't know what the fuck to do..... never wrote a case report, mover, parker, no part one pinch, no dope pinch, no gun pinch, just a yellow bellied back stabbing coward.....
LOL!
Funny shit...
Chicago Coppers ARE the best, brightest and funniest soldiers in God's Army!
Hope j-fled had a shit-fit.
Hello out there/their, fellow gang and tactical warriors!!!
Sorry I haven't posted in awhile, but I've been kind of bummed out lately over the fact that I got drafted to go to the new "Summer Strategical Surgeon Cobra Strike Force Reverse Mission Super Squadron Task Unit Team." My Sgt., whom I used to think was a god, told me it didn't matter how many pissers I long-formed in Wrigleyville, I had to go.
Since I've been living with my parents after the divorce from my bitch wife, things have been looking up. Last Saturday, my folks were out at the show, watching Iron Man 2. While I was looking up porn on the internet, I heard a knock at the door. To my surprise, it was none other then Fubar-Face McCallum, one of the most notorious and vile Gaylords the area of Mt. Greenwood had ever seen!
It had been a good 5 years since I last locked him up for loitering, but I'll never forget that mug of his. I guess he was selling M&M's for the local church, something about getting his life together and finding the lord he rambled on about. I quickly snapped his neck then dragged him down into my parent's cellar. After hanging him upside down and gutting his carcass like a steer, I stripped off all of my clothes and bathed in his blood, like the mighty hunter that I am. As I looked at myself in a mirror I realized that it doesn't matter where the powers that be send me. I am a Spartan warrior that is ready for war!
Anyway, enough about me. To all my fellow gang and tactical warriors, be safe out there/their. Remember, no matter how much the bosses screw you over and fuck with your lives, never stop bringing in activity!
Ah Ha HA HA HA
OT: Aldermen did not have to report China trip, Ethics Board says
We get cr's, fines and nasty grams if we don't fill the forms out. This protected class takes airfare lodging and other perks from Chinese businessmen and nothing is said about it.
Thanks for the laugh first thing in the morning!!
It's even catching on with the gangbangers.
Taggers sprayed J-FLED on a wall in 011.
The enemy now knows that our leader is a coward.
Did John Walsh interview J-Fled? Why was he not available to champion his lower crime stats? How on earth could daley let this happen? Could it be ... that Daley and Weis are playing politics with citizen's lives. They actually think that this bad press will force the judges into keeping the handgun ban in effect.
Regular hard working people and parects need guns to protect themselves. If there is any justice in the world Cozzi goes free, J-Fled goes to away, mayor is dumped and free people can arm themselves against the gang bangers,oh and the police board gets indicted for taking bribes.
I want one!!!!!
We have a winner!
I can only imagine the CR# Masters will generate to find out the veh #. Would not want to be the Sgt. who has to investigate this one.
Well done.
Oh my god, you guys are the best!
Like the scene from Hill Street Blues, when LaRue picks up a severed arm that was in the street, looks at the wristwatch and says "Takes a licking, keeps on ticking"
That sums up cop humor in one sentence.
When will the new Inspector General
Ferguson announce the results of the John Northen CR# investigation? J-Fled got caught dead bang. He had a chance to catch a murderer but he fled.
Kudos to the guy that came up with that great name J-Fled. It says it all.
Priceless!
remember j fled just follows orders
for 300K a year do you really think he cares who he appoints as exempt , captain or merit lts
he was able to select a few former agents that he can trust
he knows he can't trust any of the command staff
what CEO whould promote triple merit to their command staff if not following orders from da hall
less than a year and jfledwill be gone gotta run to the private sector
our only hope is that this is jfled biggest undercover assignment
with a few agents and he tells all about the merit promotions and politics inside CPD
The song was written for a different reason, but I think Del Shannon's old hit song, "Run Away", could be a theme song for J-Fled.
I just phoned Newark P.D. Director Garry McCarthy (973.733.6000) and provided this SCC Web site address with particular attention to this thread and also the "J-Fled Watch" thread.
Dir. McCarthy responds to all homicides in Newark.
WAYYYYYY TOOOO FUNNNNY!!!
I just woke up and already I am set with a smile the rest of the day!
off topic.. WTF is goin on at fleet. Last week I dropped off car to get brakes done. Yesterday I pick up the car at Area 1 garage, its parked in the rear (south) of the garage. As I approach the car, I notice a note on the windshield held by the wiper blade. 8.5 x 11 white paper with black perm marker. It said "Front left tire missing lug nut". WTF!!!!! Is this a joke, I bring the car in for brakes, and pick it up with missing lug nuts, and some lazy fuck, cant fix it and instead leaves a note. And when I asked for a lug nut to put on the wheel (its a Sunday about 1600 hrs), I'm told that there are none available. WTF!!!
Sgt. J.V. 009-3rd Watch
LOL!
So is J-Fled pulling out all the stops and putting his crack team of sleuths on overtime to apprehend this miscreant?
http://finance.yahoo.com/career-work/article/109519/5-ways-to-ensure-mediocrity-in-your-organization?mod=career-leadership
This article had to be written about this city of Chicago. Its about 5 Ways to Ensure Mediocrity in Your Organization.
Article from BusinessWeek and every point is custom made for this city and how it treats employees
"...I realized that it doesn't matter where the powers that be send me. I am a Spartan warrior that is ready for war!"
It's this attitude (admit it, each of us has a little of this in us, or we wouldn't be here) and a sense of humor that will get you through your career here, regardless of what idiot is in charge, who the mayor is or what lies the media tells in order to sell more advertising.
God bless you all, Even the Ultimate Tactical Warrior.
Like the scene from Hill Street Blues, when LaRue picks up a severed arm that was in the street, looks at the wristwatch and says "Takes a licking, keeps on ticking"
That sums up cop humor in one sentence.
5/17/2010 08:08:00 AM
Thanks man, I thought it was funny back then too. If I did that now I'd probably get psyched or suspended for insensitivity on duty.
Anonymous said...
When will the new Inspector General
Ferguson announce the results of the John Northen CR# investigation? J-Fled got caught dead bang. He had a chance to catch a murderer but he fled.
Kudos to the guy that came up with that great name J-Fled. It says it all.
5/17/2010 08:12:00 AM
He will skate because the lefties see nothing wrong with J-FLED's actions in the GOTTA RUN incident. J-FLED's fellow-yellows have no frame of reference when it comes to bravery and cowardice. They look at anyone that risks their life for another or others as a fool. Self-preservation is their goal, no matter the cost to others. They do not even recognize cowardice.
While we all know the FLED is a coward, his like and kind view his actions that day as nothing more than acceptable and normal. That is why they would never become a police officer. They do not have the guts or the spirit of the brave in their constitution. They much prefer to remain aloof in their ivory towers and university teaching jobs or stay hidden behind others as they enjoy the status and privilege of being the mare of Chicago or POTUS, while the brave get dirty and/or forfeit their lives.
Hey SCC - lots of police activity on the 7500 blk of n odell this morning. the swat team, the swat tank, ambulances, fire trucks, armed cpd soldiers with masks covering their faces...very scary...know of a couple of cpd officers who live on that block, including the recently deposed cmdr of 011...whassup wit dat?
NYPD brass are laughing their asses off about "J-FLED" and your mayor. God help you guys.
Second City Cop: Please post for us at the Cook County Sheriff's Police, in a separate listing if you feel appropriate.
Sergeant Karen Lader passed away Saturday after a long and hard battle with Cancer.
The wake will be 3-9 Thursday at Weinstein and the Funeral burial on Friday. Rabbi Moshe Wolf will be officiating I am told. Check legacy dot com for details.
Some of CPD's shooters may well know her as she was a rated competitive shooter and definitely knew what to do with a revolver, pistol or carbine.
Karen is the best. Her warmth and smile were always welcome at the square. She was a great Police Officer and a budding inspired leader.
I hope that there is a special place in heaven not only for Karen, but for all those who cared for her right up to the end.
There are many active and retired Cook County Sheriff's Police Officers and Brass that worked tirelessly to help Karen and keep her comfortable. This goes double for Amy, who should be noted as the greatest friend one could ever have.
Please stop calling me J-FLED.
I am not a coward. I'm a very, very brave man of courage. Just ask my mom.
OT: ANITA ALVEREZ ANNOUNCED THE LAUNCH OF OPERATION COOKIE JAR IN WHICH SUBURBAN POLITIANS ARE TARGETTED FOR PROFITING FROM THEIR POSITIONS. SHE STATED AT A PRESS CONFERENCE " YOU WILL BE SOUGHT AND PROSECUTED IF YOU IN ANY WAY USE YOU STATUS TO PROFIT FROM THE TAX PAYERS DOLLARS". WELL WHY HAS SHE IGNORED THE HISPANIC ALDERMAN 12th Ward Alderman: George A. Cardenas WHO OWNS A BUILDING AND RENTS OFFICE SPACE TO HIMSELF USING TAX PAYER'S DOLLARS. HE PAYS HIMSELF PREMIUM RENTS FOR THIS SPACE. I THOUGHT ALDERMEN COULD NOT PROFIT FOR ANY OF THE FUNDS THAT THEY GIVEN. IS SPECIAL TREATMENT BEING GIVEN TO HIM BECAUSE HE IS HISPANIC. ALL THE POLITIANS CAUGHT UP IN OPERATION COOKIE JAR ARE ALL WHITE. HELLO MEDIA, U.S. ATTORNEY, ANY FED WITH POWER ARE YOU LISTENING.
Any truth to the rumor that J-Fled will resign to become a consultant to the sheriff of Delaware County, PA for $35k/yr. He's buying a vineyard in the Brandywine Valley near Chadds Ford, PA. He will also raise mushrooms.
Don't let the door hit you in the ass on the way out, COWARD.
GOTTA RUN!
OT: ALDERMEN CREATE NEW OFFICE TO INVESTIGATE MISCONDUCT IN THEIR OFFICE, BUT THAT OFFICE MUST GET APPROVAL FOR ALDERMEN BEFORE ANY KIND OF INVESTIGATION CAN BE LAUNCHED. WTF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The transmission only works in REVERSE. LMAO!
5/17/2010 02:26:00 AM
LMAO
He is a COWARD!!!!
Don't trust him!!!!
I don't!!!!!!!!1
Mama Weis
Lets get some info on the 7500 N Odell Cant hide something like that
AWESOME! Fits him exactly!
Enough about Weis, J-Fed, or whatever. How about a post where people can comment on their trip to D.C. to be part of police week?
We need detectives and white shirts with NO political ties to investigate dirty alderman. There is NO other way other than bringing in the Feds. And anyone who has ever worked side by side with Feds know they are useless, but they have all the newist toys.
Finally, 019 got the "new" Panasonic computers last week with the only 3 year out of date operating system, Windows XP. I finally had to say goodbye to the old black junk notebooks and my beloved Windows 98. 12 years on a Microsoft Windows version is about 144 years in real time; dog years kind of thing.
Still can't do traffic crash reports like the rest of the State of Illinois (state provides free software to any police agency that asks) or print out copies like State Police cars. But hey, in the CPD world, this is state of the art!
I swear, this department will soon be dragged into the 21st century like it or not, another 5 or 10 years and we might be there.
I thought J-FLed was onE of DaLeys StepForD Wives?
I can only imagine the CR# Masters will generate to find out the veh #. Would not want to be the Sgt. who has to investigate this one.
He'll make it the first department wide CR. He'll go district by district to find the culprits! Soon he'll be walking the hallways down at headquarters rolling 2 ball bearings in his right hand mumbling something about strawberries.
The locals in the 006th District call him Eggman.
Cop humor. Without it we would be nut cases. Cop humor is our coping mechanism.
Give it up Jag-Fled; you have lost our confidence.
Ultimate Tactical Warrior said...
Hello out there/their, fellow gang and tactical warriors!!!
Take a pill dude!!!
But keep it up, funny stuff!
Anyway, enough about me. To all my fellow gang and tactical warriors, be safe out there/their. Remember, no matter how much the bosses screw you over and fuck with your lives, never stop bringing in activity!
5/17/2010 03:38:00 AM
You should have seen my boss's jaw drop. I came in with three parkers.............I'm a Sgt. ....LOL!
OT SCC FYI to all that have a Bank of America Checking Acct. I have Direct Deposit into a Bank of America Checking acct. I recently noticed that Bank of America checking just changed their format. As of today's date Bank of America is showing my complete Social Security number. I emailed them today and they replied that they can't do anything about it as my employer SHOWS my SS#. They advised me to contact my employer to block/hide my SS#. All I can say is that you never want your SS# to show online. I will call Finance tomorrow. I suggest affected P.O.'s also call.
J-FLED just dose not get it. Wearing our uniform in Washington DC this past week-end. WHAT IS HE THINKING?
Ultimate Tactical Warrior, you are the best! You are very funny and get your point across well. Remember assholes, continue to bring in activity just so you can stay on the early car, or late car or God forbid they dump you from "your" car.
ot: i'm safe city qualified and still have the rest of the month to blow off. ahhh. time to relax.
who's providng protection to street vendors in the 12th ward
no enforcement action
da mayor dont know nothin about dat
how about 9th district commander
are his hands tied
take enforcement and he gone
http://link.brightcove.com/services/player/bcpid85936466001?bctid=85957322001
Looks like Jennifer Beals is already more of a boss than J-FLED...
Adapted from RUNAWAY by Del Shannon LYRICS:
I'm a-speakin' in da 'Wood
Lead is flying, sirens wailing in da 'hood
Wishin' I wasn't a coward
I'd rather be up on Howard
And I wonder
I wah-wah-wah-wah-wonder
How?
How, how, how, how, how to get away
Yes, and I wonder
Is this my MayDay?
I gotta run away
Run, run, run, run, run away.
Very smart on the part of the P.O. who took this pix...leaving out any identifiers, cause you know the PTB are looking for your ass right now!
You guys always amaze me with your sense of humor! I think I'm going to have to make me one of those!
GNC member.
I just phoned Newark P.D. Director Garry McCarthy (973.733.6000) and provided this SCC Web site address with particular attention to this thread and also the "J-Fled Watch" thread.
Dir. McCarthy responds to all homicides in Newark.
5/17/2010 10:10:00 AM
Sorry , John, Newark has about 2 million fewer people than Chicago .
I respect MCCarthy, but what works there don't necessary work here, despite what he says. We have the most inept criminal court and county government, and the most politically corrupt municipality in the country.
Policing won't work here until city and county government gets overhauled and purged.
I dont think any of your comments are funny ..... Weis has been diligently ironing out strategies for a safer city. Be ready to abandon your summer furloughs! Onward Core Values!! I am ready to march on!!!
Suck it up folks.
- Prince william
TO Sgt J.V. 3rd watch 009, It is true that they don't have extra lug nuts for the Tahoes, I'm assuming that you have a Tahoe because you are in 9 the home of the Daleys and they want you to look good for the White Sox Fans.
Supposedly someone is taking the lug nuts. This is true, and your car was probably not supposed to give it back to you yet,
Anonymous Anonymous said...
off topic.. WTF is goin on at fleet. Last week I dropped off car to get brakes done. Yesterday I pick up the car at Area 1 garage, its parked in the rear (south) of the garage. As I approach the car, I notice a note on the windshield held by the wiper blade. 8.5 x 11 white paper with black perm marker. It said "Front left tire missing lug nut". WTF!!!!! Is this a joke, I bring the car in for brakes, and pick it up with missing lug nuts, and some lazy fuck, cant fix it and instead leaves a note. And when I asked for a lug nut to put on the wheel (its a Sunday about 1600 hrs), I'm told that there are none available. WTF!!!
Sgt. J.V. 009-3rd Watch
5/17/2010 10:16:00 AM
I assume that a cr was opened for 'inattention to duty' and that the car was left unclaimed due to safety concerns....
Brandywine Valley Vintners said...
Any truth to the rumor that J-Fled will resign to become a consultant to the sheriff of Delaware County, PA for $35k/yr. He's buying a vineyard in the Brandywine Valley near Chadds Ford, PA. He will also raise mushrooms.
Don't let the door hit you in the ass on the way out, COWARD.
GOTTA RUN!
5/17/2010 12:37:00 PM
Well, there you have it! JFled is a fan of wine and mushrooms! THAT explains a lot about how this...joint... operates yuk yuk yuk Maybe if I was drunk and high I'd buy half the bs that comes from hq these days...
7500 N. ODell: a local guy flies under the radar in the middle of copland. Priceless!
The safest place to carry out your clandestine mission of illegal antics is right under the nose of the very entity that is sworn to defeat you. Amazing.
The man is amoung us. He has infiltrated our neighborhoods and is living within our fenceline. When did this happen? How do we fix it? Can I get an event number squad?
It's even catching on with the gangbangers.
Taggers sprayed J-FLED on a wall in 011.
The enemy now knows that our leader is a coward.
5/17/2010 06:37:00 AM
I'll bet the same "taggers" that used to write "Sir Donkey" all over the city.
Now that is freakin hilarious!
Nice to see how important Taylor Swift is. ADS SP part of her motorcade to Midway. Can't be anything improper with that.
OT
Police cameras
reason.com/archives/2010/05/06/the-failure-of-surveillance-ca
12:37 PM
The rumor is true. J-Fled will be growing "magic" psilocybin mushrooms to go with the his vino and magic thinking. He'll need it to "escape" by the time we get through with his sorry craven ass.
GO 'SHROOMING WITH J-FLED IN SE PA.
(I'll pass)
I'm going to make one that says "2%"
---------------------------
R.C., is that you? Bastard
Regarding the Bank of America online social security number problem:
It has been that way for at least a year. And it only shows under your login. So I guess if your online account is compromised your SSN is compromised too. But if your online account is compromised, then all your banking info is compromised anyway, so it's a moot point. Don't worry, be happy.
I always am looking forward to the posting of my unltimate tac warrior leader. Makes my job and side job that much easier to get through.
Hey, Prince William (9:29 PM)
Time to chug a fifth of Absinthe (or Bacardi 151) before you drive a Porsche 911 Turbo at redline through the tunnels along the River Seine.
Au revoir!
Does anyone know what happened at the intersection of Route I55 and LaGrange Rd on Saturday, May 15th at 4.00pm. Multiple police cars. Police crouched down behind cars with guns drawn. One Policeman in street with gun on the driver.
Looked like the west side at 2.00am.
just had a triple homicide in 008.. 4200 block of 55th street. ohhhh boy
7500 N. ODell: a local guy flies under the radar in the middle of copland. Priceless!
***************************
there has been loads of drugs over in edison park for the last 30 years. don't be so suprised
Anonymous said...
I always am looking forward to the posting of my unltimate tac warrior leader. Makes my job and side job that much easier to get through.
signed the ultimate tactical warrior who always posts self promotional pieces about himself after posting unfunny or mildly amusing sayings.
Please get back behind the 019th district desk, papers don't shuffle themselves
I know what happened...section 8 is now running rampid in the burbs.
How about a post on the frivoulous lawsuits that we face, and the effect it has on us doing our jobs.
John Q. Public said...
7500 N. ODell: a local guy flies under the radar in the middle of copland. Priceless!
The safest place to carry out your clandestine mission of illegal antics is right under the nose of the very entity that is sworn to defeat you. Amazing.
The man is amoung us. He has infiltrated our neighborhoods and is living within our fenceline. When did this happen? How do we fix it? Can I get an event number squad?
5/17/2010 09:58:00 PM
It's obvious you are a civilian because THEY have been doing this since the beginning of time. Where have you been?
J-FLOWN...J-FLEW....J-GONE...?
TO Sgt J.V. 3rd watch 009, It is true that they don't have extra lug nuts for the Tahoes, I'm assuming that you have a Tahoe because you are in 9 the home of the Daleys and they want you to look good for the White Sox Fans.
Supposedly someone is taking the lug nuts. This is true, and your car was probably not supposed to give it back to you yet,
Sorry ... its a piece of shit Chevy Impala with 100k miles on it. Supervisor cars were never replaced with new tahoes, at least not in any of the districts that I know of.
Anonymous said...
off topic.. WTF is goin on at fleet. Last week I dropped off car to get brakes done. Yesterday I pick up the car at Area 1 garage, its parked in the rear (south) of the garage. As I approach the car, I notice a note on the windshield held by the wiper blade. 8.5 x 11 white paper with black perm marker. It said "Front left tire missing lug nut". WTF!!!!! Is this a joke, I bring the car in for brakes, and pick it up with missing lug nuts, and some lazy fuck, cant fix it and instead leaves a note. And when I asked for a lug nut to put on the wheel (its a Sunday about 1600 hrs), I'm told that there are none available. WTF!!!
Sgt. J.V. 009-3rd Watch
5/17/2010 10:16:00 AM
The lug nuts are the one's making the decisions over there.
J.D. LaRue said...
Like the scene from Hill Street Blues, when LaRue picks up a severed arm that was in the street, looks at the wristwatch and says "Takes a licking, keeps on ticking"
That sums up cop humor in one sentence.
5/17/2010 08:08:00 AM
Thanks man, I thought it was funny back then too. If I did that now I'd probably get psyched or suspended for insensitivity on duty.
5/17/2010 11:00:00 AM
I recall a man who was looking for a walk on the wild side who got a microphone stand shoved up his rear end at an old North Clark St. bar. He was alive, drunk and lying there. An old copper comes in, sees what was going on, walks over to the victim and taps him on the ear and starts doing a sound check, "testing, testing." That was piss in your pants funny. The guy suffers the ignominy of being butt rammed with a microphone stand but a copper does a sound check on him and everyone is standing around laughing. That's how it was around 1980 or so.
as I recall.....in the microphone stand case, one of the officers observed...."the show must go on"
I show up to work today in 019....Guess what I see?? Color Photos of the New and Improved "J-Fled Beat Tag" posted on the bulletin board in the roll call room and in the locker room....I laughed my Ass Off!!! Da' Mayor wants to keep this Asshole on because he knows the rank and file can't stand him and that he's Daleys fucking puppet!
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