Saturday, December 12, 2015

Watchdog of the Year

  • A 22-year-old man suspected of burglarizing homes in Florida was killed and partially eaten by an 11ft (3.4-meter) alligator after he waded into a lake, apparently to avoid detection by law enforcement officers pursuing him, police said on Tuesday.

    An autopsy on the man, Matthew Riggins of Palm Bay, determined that he drowned in November after an apparent alligator attack. A necropsy on the alligator revealed parts of the man’s body in the reptile’s stomach, according to a report released this week by the Brevard County sheriff’s office.
Well done Mr. Gator. If only we could import a few to reside in the park lagoons.



Anonymous The Neanderthal said...

Alligator shall be named "Nicodemus."

I think that's the best name for an alligator I ever heard. >shudder<

12/12/2015 12:35:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

There was another one down in the bayou country, little dock with a sign, "DANGER! ALLIGATOR!" Big fella had taken the area as home base.

Someone had too much to drink, went out there, decided to go for a swim. People yelling, "DON'T GO IN THERE!"

"F__K THE ALLIGATOR! the man replied.

Splash. In he went.

"YAAAA SAVE ME SAVE" and that was about it.

>munch munch munch<

Oh well.

12/12/2015 12:42:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

RIP Mr. Gator

12/12/2015 01:22:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Poor man, what a horrible way to die. He didn't do anything to deserve that. Now he will never be able to turn his life around.

12/12/2015 01:35:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well thank goodness this country has established a new precedent, and without a doubt the gator will be arrested and charged with murder. He could have given the burglar a "warning snap", or just bitten him once. He didn't have to bite him repeatedly and eat him. The poor burglar was just about to turn his life around. And what a shame, since his mom said he had always respected gators even though they never respected him. The latest reports say that small groups of burglars, and some people who support said burglars and their life choices, are organizing to rally against the blood thirsty gators. National Geographic crews will be on hand to film the confrontation. It will be titled "A Lesson in Natural Selection".

12/12/2015 01:38:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think his family has a good lawsuit, if he didn't go hide they're from the police he would still be alive today. It's the fault of the police again.

12/12/2015 01:48:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Unfortunately they killed the gator.
They should have given it a medal.

12/12/2015 03:22:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

oh great, blm will be protesting til the gator gets charged.

12/12/2015 03:23:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Let some alligators loose on the west and south sides--there's your crime problem solution.

Better yet, carry them in squad cars and let them loose on bad guys with guns...don't think guns can kill those things and you won't even have to get out of the car...the gator gets the CRs and lawsuits.


12/12/2015 03:24:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Why did they kill the Alligator? Or did he choke on the shit?

12/12/2015 03:51:00 AM  
Blogger Mr. SouthSide said...

Local restaurants are now serving gator bites. That's good eating.

12/12/2015 05:39:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Unfortunately, Mr. Gator was killed for his efforts. RIP. Such are the rewards for doing good in today's America.

12/12/2015 05:43:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Maybe that's what they thought lived there when they dumped that baby in the lagoon.

12/12/2015 06:00:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

They killed the alligator?!!! I must protest! How can I support the Police and not support their families and all who help administer justice?
So What if the poor alligator eats a few scum bag thieves? Think about it. If the Police catch the thief, a judge turns it loose to prey on the citizens again. If the alligator catches the thief, dinner, ah, I mean, justice is served! Don't matter if the thieving little bastard was "ah gut boi" or "dindu nuthins" etc. He is no longer a pain in the ass!


12/12/2015 06:25:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Gator Lives Matter!!!!!!

12/12/2015 06:44:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Chicago could train all the rats to do this

12/12/2015 06:57:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ah- the exuberance of youth!

12/12/2015 07:08:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Lawsuit time. His family will sue because the police made him go in alligator infested water.

12/12/2015 07:24:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

So the officers used excessive force by pursuing the bad guy into the mouth of a alligator? Wait for the march and protest. Stay fetal everyone!

12/12/2015 07:30:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

It is shocking that in modern civilized America someone could be eaten by wild animals. What kind of sick society allows this to happen?

12/12/2015 07:32:00 AM  
Anonymous Molly Hatchett said...

"Well, I've been to Alabama people
There ain't a whole lot to see
Skynyard says it's a real sweet home
But it ain't nuthin' to me.......

Gimmie a little of that chomp chomp.....
Gator country!

12/12/2015 07:38:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Not only do I deny the allegations
I deny the alligator!

12/12/2015 07:44:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

It's the fault of the police. They should have warned this young man not to go into the water but chased him into the lake knowing there was a hungry gator waiting for him. Dashcam and helicopter video was conveniently missing during this pursuit.

PETA and other animal right's organizations are protesting the cops for entrapping the gator with live bait and violating his civil rights by killing him. Multiple witnesses report the gator was unarmed and not posing an immediate threat.


12/12/2015 08:16:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Can we get some gators on the 5 th floor please? Then move on down to the council chamber while they are in session, then out to the south and west sides, these gators will be busy.

12/12/2015 08:20:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

If that happened here,dudes mom would sue us because if we didn't show up her felon son wouldn't of hid in the lagoon,and yes it's not important to her or media that dude just committed a burglary only that he's dead cuz of CPD . Lovey and Lovey would take that case

12/12/2015 08:23:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

YEA , & instead of giving the gator a medal and making it a deputy, the morons slaughtered it..where's the animal rights slugs when u really want them? ?

12/12/2015 08:28:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

They killed it? I call BS. #gatorlivesmatter

12/12/2015 08:52:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Most retired CPD in Flawida Have pet gators in the back yard. I saw "Jurassic World" three times and still don't feel good about hatching us some raptors, to train as pets, guard dogs. We're working on it. Trouble is, we're short on local pets, like fluffy, mopsey, king, and snuggles for feeding purposes.

12/12/2015 08:59:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Mr. Gator deserve a medal!

What a happy ending to this Burglar!

Just think, the Burglars family can't get on TV talking about: "he was just turning his life around crap, while holding an old 8th grade graduation picture, with fake tears" and the family can't sue an alligator!


12/12/2015 09:14:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Actually we can import them. Let's please do...

12/12/2015 09:31:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

How about 3 or 4 of them into City Hall Counsel Chambers

12/12/2015 09:54:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Too bad they euthanized the gator.

Would've made a good superintendent.

12/12/2015 10:02:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

It is high time modern science develop a hybrid alligator able to thrive in our winter weather.

12/12/2015 10:08:00 AM  
Anonymous Richard said...

Hell, SCC, let's get some of those gators on the street. Gotta love those non-partisan reptiles. To all LEO's who serve and protect, be safe and use that swivel.
Thank you for keeping the public safe.

12/12/2015 10:16:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Will The "Authorities " bring charges against the Police for their obvious involvement

in the death of this Pillar of the Community?

I believe they would in Crook County!

12/12/2015 10:21:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Why did they have to kill the gator

12/12/2015 11:07:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Somehow the police will be blamed for chasing a man who was "making a living." Savages think their criminal lifestyles should be accepted by society.

12/12/2015 11:09:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This is what we need in Chiraq, let's "deputize" some !

12/12/2015 11:21:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I was ticketed by a occult redlight camera - so allow me to wish you, mr. Mayor, a big happy fuck you for the my famly has $100.00 less for Christmas dinner

12/12/2015 12:22:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Anonymous Anonymous said...
Let some alligators loose on the west and south sides--there's your crime problem solution.

Better yet, carry them in squad cars and let them loose on bad guys with guns...don't think guns can kill those things and you won't even have to get out of the car...the gator gets the CRs and lawsuits.


12/12/2015 03:24:00 AM

I had an alligator call on the southside a long time ago. Sure enough, a 3 foot gator in a back yard. I called animal control[we all know how fast they arrive] and then went to the alley a got plastic drum that was there. I was able get the gator into the upside down drum and then told the fattest kid there sit on it untill animal control arrived. 5 Paul squad.

12/12/2015 12:34:00 PM  
Blogger americanlt said...

The poleece don't care about us alligators.

12/12/2015 12:53:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I know alligators, sir, and you are no alligator!

12/12/2015 02:40:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Police Gators, it's a trend that's bound to catch on down south.

12/12/2015 03:42:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

How about a monthly gator award/. Darwin Award on scc? To lighten the mood

12/12/2015 05:25:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Gator Lives Matter

12/12/2015 05:29:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

That white boys some good eating🐊

12/12/2015 05:37:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Anonymous said...
oh great, blm will be protesting til the gator gets charged.

12/12/2015 03:23:00 AM

Nuh uh, it was a white guy got all chewed up and spit out.

12/12/2015 06:36:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Couldn't they just do a contact card on the gator? Did they really have to kill it? How sad.

12/12/2015 07:47:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Too bad they killed the gator for doing what gators do.

Down there in Floriduh you have to be careful about those things. They will come out of the lowlying areas and take your pets. Small children too if you're not careful.

It is felony in Floriduh to feed gators. This one ate well.

Wonder how many "Missing Persons" are now gator poop.

12/13/2015 12:05:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think that the city should fill our lagoons and rivers with alligators. Also, west side and south side should be patrolled by gators.

12/13/2015 09:06:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

It says a whole lot about those that automatically assumed the dead offender was a M/1. The dead offender was an M/2. I guess the gator preferred white meat.

12/13/2015 11:07:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Gator will be posthumously awarded The Medal of Valor.

12/13/2015 11:41:00 AM  

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