Satire, but True, Too
posted by SCC at 12:01 AM
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- AlderAsshole Update
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- Manufactured Protests?
- Where Are These "Protests?"
53 Comments:
and more from the Onion: At press time, Emanuel was breathing a sigh of relief after learning that six Chicagoans killed overnight were shot dead in neighborhoods he couldn’t care less about.
Forget the satire, The Onion hits the nail on the head.
Rham was advocating “shooting zones”: just Incase you want to challenge someone to a duel, as well as “drug use zones” so drug addiction can stick their arms in peace and with out scrutiny
Rham is gonna create his own #walkaway video when he loses the mayor election to that kid on on the south side... something James Green his is last name— my bad, his name is not that important to me since I don’t live in shit hole cook county anymore
What a loser!
9.5 only cares about four things and four things only.
In order, they are; (1) being re-elected, (2) money to stash away for life after Chicago, (3) Amy and (4) their children.
If necessary, #3 and #4 are expendable to accomplish #1 and #2. He's a cold-hearted bastard.
Bottom line if you line his pockets he'll listen, because thats all these assholes are about.
The country was ruined during obama’s 8 yrs, and the city has been destroyed in Emanuel’s 8 yrs. The state was decimated by Blago and Quinn, along with Madigan’s long term slow burn. Democrats are a cancer.
Rahm and Ed are losers!
The Onion and the Babylon Bee are more accurate and better predictors of the news than CNN, NYT, or especially the Scum Times.
Too f---ing late!!! The burglaries and car-jacking are already spreading to the "good" neighborhoods.
Commander Bauer getting murdered by the Mag Mile, multiple carjackings downtown, Andre Jones robbing tourists, wilding....all this deters tourists and conventions.
Democrats don't want law abiding citizens to be armed, only the criminal/thug class.
There ARE no such areas.
Keep pandering to the nonproductive leeches rahmie. No matter what you give the leeches they want more.
It's difficult to find anything he gives a shit about, except voting illegal aliens of course.
Nice armed vehicle carjacking video on the news for the liberal democRAT Bucktown resident.
That photo like many others is evidence that he's either drinking too much champagne or doing too much cocaine at all of his special appearances and parties, He should be required to drop(drug tested) as an elected city official, remember the fat, addict mayor in Canada or the crack head in New York? Of course the results may increase his popularity with the majority of selected voters...
If Rahm Emanuel loses his bid for a third mayoral term, it will all be on account of his pandering to Father Phfaker and BLM.
Bought and paid for by anti gun George Soros. Kimmy foxxx too.
Funny, [not really] but just looking at his face, oh, oh, I've got to go take my morning rahm.
Meshugenah......I’m done.
He's stealing that look from Bill Clinton. That was Clinton's version of "blue steel".
Rahm uses the northwest side for his EBT card. Most of our side streets are completely worn out.
Though the residents don't want it he and Arena are pushing through a public housing project in Jeff park.
The Onion is the truth.
Yeah. Like the armed carjacking of the pregnant woman and her husband in Bucktown yesterday. Should create a little more demand for houses out here in the western burbs.
think of the chaos if thieves became convinced that astor street toilets were made of shiny gold. conrad black had a gold shitter. hey BRUCE, reshoot that campaign ad.
Why hasn’t the Very Reverend Father of the Folks Flagler been out there. All he has to do is demand the city provide buses for the folks with a state police escort.
i say let the public in on this piece of garbage lightfoot had a hand in.
investigate the fucking radicals.
https://chicago.suntimes.com/news/lightfoot-demands-investigation-leaked-consent-decree-fop-fox-news/
Hmmmm, a lip biter.
Forget the NW side 9-1-1 Automatic Delayed Response Program.
(What’s suspicious about that car with the lights off and 3 unk hooded males walking down the street looking into cars?)
We need more armed folks up here to ward off the wandering govmint supported zombie.
His concern may be vigilantism and that’s probably why we got so many repaveded streets and new sewer projects this past and current year.
Make no mistake about it. The true enemy on this job is every Commander and above on this job since Rahm took over. Nobody stood up to him about the changes he made to the department. If they stood together what could Rahm do. Politically it would be embarrassing if he dumped everyone. This job is dead. A gang banger dying trying to kill a police officer is not a tragic loss.
Not really satire it is the reality played office as satire!
Just watched the channel 7 news online, the report of the man and woman that were carjacked in Lincoln Park one of the most highly text area tire city of Chicago the woman was eight months pregnant carjacked forced to lay on her stomach, the news media reported this was the fourth incident in that area same alley in less than a year! The husband said it is time to move out of here and then they got alderman wagenspuck Complaining about less police in that area, instead of holding the mayor responsible and fast Eddie Johnson who has no clue to put the police and taxpaying areas so the packs of people that pay the taxes do not leave the city, just think with having the most corrupt criminal infested criminal pander to illegal invader city and entire United States of America what a disgrace!
Once again The Onion makes more sense than the actual mainstream media!
Then we have this headline which many can agree with:
We are hurting deeply': Family of Harith Augustus responds to fatal police shooting
http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/ct-met-statement-family-harith-augustus-20180721-story.html
Hmm:
attorney Standish Willis. “For you, our community and us, the manner of Harith’s tragic death is all too familiar and seems so unnecessary.”
* But the lawyer failed to say that if his client would of simply complied all of this would of been OK! But he wants to keep false,fake narrative driving forward! If he would of complied gun would of taken,he would of been charged with not having a CC license,went to court the judge would of thrown it out a crook county judges do so many times,and he would of been back to cutting hair and acting like snoop dog! Wait a minute if he smokes weed he could of joined CPD under new policy right?
The copper would not be going through a world of emotions either,winning is compiling and complaining later if the element wants to! Move those coppers immediately to thw areas that honor and respect our hard working police officers!
Then this,the story got scrubbed from local news abc7 had the man of the news when it happened he said it has happened before and they were considering moving as they should! The alderman was on and said he needed more police gee did rahm have this story scrubbed?
Pregnant Woman Carjacked At Gunpoint In Bucktown: Cops
https://patch.com/illinois/bucktown-wickerpark/pregnant-woman-carjacked-gunpoint-bucktown-cops
BOLO: Citizen alert,your police officers have been reassigned so there is "a cop on every block" in the police hating thug filled ghettos,this is why they are traveling where you live easy pickings no police and they can feast on everything you own,and if you resist you get a ambulance ride to the hospital,or morgue after your shot or maimed! As an added bonus the mayor will shed his fake tears for television, guess his brother the mega movie star manager has taught him well!
Maybe those crybabies on the mayor's detail can actually earn their sergeants pay
Of course freeloading democratic officeholders want to let in more freeloaders!
Pretty sure his own son was beaten and robbed on his own block just a short while ago.
Chicago is the rat capital of the US. We're number one! We're number one! No more mountains to climb you sawed off little shit. You can go now.
According to www.renthop.com, Chicago has the highest rat infestation in the nation, New York City coming in a far distant second.
If they counted the two-legged RATS at City Hall and 3510 S. Michigan Ave., the numbers would rise exponentially.
Hey Channel 7 TV: How about a "Chicago Proud" story on our RATS. We're #1.
Ah man, the onion! I been reading that since it was in print (early-mid 90s) I'd come in on an occasional Saturday and step out of the office, downtown would be empty on the weekends :) get the onion and laugh my ass off!! Thanxs SCC
Hate Rahm and Arena equally, but that said, they are not friends. Rahm’s PAC spent money trying to get Arena out in 2015. Sorry, I’m a stickler for facts and it burns me up how people in this department play telephone and the truth is seldom the whole truth by the time it makes its way to print here. Other than that, yes, they’re two assholes. Now carry on.
Scoot waguespack is a liberal scum who always supported bad causes. First he is incredibly lazy and incompetent. He is a progressive hack who supports criminals and is anti cop. His press and message is written by an avowed communist Joanna Klonsky who also does the press for machine loving Patrick Daley Thompson. In the past election he and his stupid caucus backed cop hater pro BLM under investigation Patricia van Pelt. He is another poverty pimp and friend of Arena. Do not let him slide.
National news that Chicago is number one in rats. The biggest rat is right on the 5th floor of city hall. He needs to be eradicated too.
7/21/2018 02:43:00 PM issued a:
BOLO:
Citizen alert,your police officers have been reassigned so there is "a cop on every block" in the police hating thug filled ghettos, this is why they are traveling where you live easy pickings (seems like it, yep, sure does seem like it...)
no police and they can feast on everything you own,and if you resist you get a ambulance ride to the hospital,or morgue after your shot or maimed! (That appears to be the current state of the communties so targeted.......the current state.....yep......)
As an added bonus the mayor will shed his fake tears for television, guess his brother the mega movie star manager has taught him well! (Only when police do it, never for the victims of the riff raff.)
Now, this alert is timely.
This alert is contemporary.
This alert is alarming.
This alert is quite invigorating.
The potentials inherent in the absence of police presence are limited only by the imaginations of each individual citizen's nature.
And, of course, by each individual citizen's actual capabilities.
Be on the lookout for the predator.
Be capable and prepared to turn predator into prey.
Then, with the absence of police presence, forgettaboutit.
Democrats don't want law abiding citizens to be armed, only the criminal/thug class.
7/21/2018 02:42:00 AM
So, are the majority of CPD police officers democrats? This IS a question.
And the purpose of gleaning the answer to this question is understood.
Not as an assurance, but, rather as an indictive hint to be factored into future, including immediate future, considerations concerning venturing out into the belly of this beastly haven of miscreants.
And, no, the theoretical Right to Self Defense, being barely viable here, is, thus, not at all the primary, nor practical, element in assessing the above.
Within the crooked county, the city of shitheads and the domain of democrats demented, the "flee" option appears to be the only option.
This is vexing. This is vexation defined.
He looks like one of those rats running rampant in this shithole city.
Welcome the shit birds that just moved into the apartments at Jarvis & Harlem, alderscum Arena would be proud...
National news that Chicago is number one in rats. The biggest rat is right on the 5th floor of city hall. He needs to be eradicated too.
7/21/2018 08:29:00 PM
My block is substantially rat free.
How?
I help the neighborhood cats, the free roamng, natural predators of rats.
A slow drip from the hose spigot, into a sturdy pot, all year round.
An occasional pan of dry food, during both their breedings and over the frozen months.
Yeah, they occasionally harvest a squirrel, a bird, or two, but, mostly, it's the stripped to hide skins of formerly fat and frisky rats. That's it. Just the hide and tail. Thorough predators, the cats.
Now, sadly, no possibility of introducing much, much larger feline predators to city hall.....though the thought of a pride of lions roaming freely, with all exits locked up tight, just as the city council begins another day of their pilferings, oh boy, the sights, the sounds, the various aromas.....reality television to die for.....
"Scoot waguespack is a liberal scum who always supported bad causes. First he is incredibly lazy and incompetent. He is a progressive hack who supports criminals and is anti cop. His press and message is written by an avowed communist Joanna Klonsky who also does the press for machine loving Patrick Daley Thompson. In the past election he and his stupid caucus backed cop hater pro BLM under investigation Patricia van Pelt. He is another poverty pimp and friend of Arena. Do not let him slide."
Rahm supported a PAC against Rahm. Waguespack also has constituents barking in his ear about carjackings (like the one you saw the other day). Waguespack may be left of Center, but Waguespack also knows that the things going on his ward cannot continue. He is no Arena, nor is Patrick Daley Thompson. Seriously, pull your head out of your ass. Waguespack has actually been vocal about the lack of police protecting his ward. And please, sorry about the boner you have for Joanna Klonsky (she is a leftist cunt, by the way), but good god, Daley Thompson needed someone to stave off the onslaught of anti-police leftists in his ward. Is your answer Koslarski? Stay on the Northwest Side, or out in Mt Greenwood and out of our politics you fucking moron.
When is amazon moving its giant facility to chiroit?
The onion? I love that paper! More honest than the other two shit rags papers and local tv news put together.
That pregnant lady’s that had a gun pointed at her , her suv stolen should run against that little alderscum waugenosack. He would win .
Scott waguespack is a loser. He and his entire caucus is full of shit. He is garbage as is commie klonsky. You aholes in Bucktown are deluded if you think scott cares about you. He won’t stand up to Rahm. Too lazy... too stupid... and klonsky is garbage now working for bug eyed cop hating lesbian activist lightfoot. So do your homework you low life shitbag machine scum .
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