CompStat Counts What?
You want to know what nitpicking bosses are the "accountability" meetings now?
- I went to compstat for A/S yesterday. Turns out that CPD is now tracking the individual district’s twitter page. The number of tweets was counted in order by grand total of tweets with the last 28 days. Along with the amount of followers they have in total for the past 28 days. The amount of followers gained or lost was also displayed in order of greatest to least per district. I can say that seeing this with my own eyes was absofuckinlutely ridiculous, but confirms that this department continues to delve deeper in shit.
Twitter numbers? Do they still have those Chinese companies that will guarantee you like a million followers for $20 a month?
And to top it all off, the parking situation at HQ sucks on a good day. On a CompStat day?
And to top it all off, the parking situation at HQ sucks on a good day. On a CompStat day?
- Oh and [...] EVERYONE parked outside on the south side of 35 along HQ got a ticket
Was someone that hard up for VRI numbers?
Labels: dumb ideas, un-fucking-believable
posted by SCC at 12:03 AM
67 Comments:
Parking always sucks. And if you park where you're not suppose to they have a printout that will be placed on windshield
010 was told ALL gun arrest need to be photographed and “tweeted” regardless if the arresting officer wants it posted or not.
Now, in order to keep you start time, car, partner, watch, tact spot, etc...you’ll have to make sure you sign up for the district twitter page, and have your friends/family do so to. Remember when they’d come to roll call and say, “it’s the end of the month. We’re a little low on curfews. Grab a few if you come across them.”. Now it’s, “Hey, we need twitter followers!”. What a fucking joke, but, then again, it’s run by twits, so it’s fitting.
Oh my God is this department embarrassing! I’m so embarrassed. What in God’s name is going on? Next meeting the brass will be comparing us with the Kardashians. No words for the stupidity
There should be a list kept of the attendees at the meeting. Next meeting there should be another list identifying the people on the previous list who received a parking ticket. Then the next month, they can calculate the number of twitter comments about the stupid fux who received a parking ticket. And, so on and so on and so on.
Is everyone going batshit crazy at 35th street? Stat stat stat Everything is a fucking stupid stat. Event numbers for everything now. Even for saying hello to the guy walking his dog. So they’ll be tracking farts next. Now Twitter? Who cares! Is 35th street run by teenage girls now? Holy cow! Stop with the silliness already. Your embarrassing law enforcement.
This has been going on for months. My district tweets the weather report.
Is it really that much stupider then counting those silly blue Obama traffic stop cards?
Wouldn’t you think that a dept like ours would have ample parking wherever their headquarters are? I’ve had to go to compstat and there is absolutely no parking anywhere around the place. I’ve had to go down to the medical and absolutely no parking. I’ve been ordered to HQ for various reasons and no parking. How can this dept order you to come to a place and not provide parking? It’s not a first class operation.
That is Caluris’s fine work.
Counting tweets like a 13 year old girl worried about her popularity. It doesn't matter how many tweets you have the leadership of the CPD sucks. PS- the aforementioned 13 year old girl could do a better job.
The Kardashians will soon be running our department. They will show everyone how to get followers and how to get most retweets
I like to get isrs and blue cards because I’m a “worker”!
Twitter? Is there a Facebook page too?
The Twitter nitpicking has been going on for a while. I was at compstat in November and almost fainted when I saw that. That being said i understand it. The youth of America don't read the newspapers and don't even like Facebook. They think that stuff is for their parents or grandparents. They like Twitter. This is one of a million reasons the CPD can't recruit anyone. I live in the past just like the department. Todays youth have no respect for anyone over 40
Hey youngsters? Nobody ever got in trouble for talking too little.
Freebie from an old retired guy. Twits tweet!
Twitter numbers? Do they still have those Chinese companies that will guarantee you like a million followers for $20 a month?.........................................
You need to ask the great scum times columnist Richard Roeper that question!
The world would be a better place without Twitter.
Fk i guess we should tweet our respective work home as VRI activity
Parking has been a serious problem at HQ for a while now. It began when the fat ass exempts decided that they didn't have enough room to park their department take home cars. So spots in the two exempt rows went from around 30 to 18. To make up for that, two additional rows were taken as reserved.
CFD took over the entire north end, as everyone who works for CFD has a reserved spot.
Some genius in fleet decided to park 30 brand new marked cars in the south lot which haven't moved in over two months. These are in addition to the unit cars that sit for days on end unmoved.
The coup de gras is the assholes that use the lot as personal storage for their cars because they cant afford a spot in their building or don't want to leave their vehicles parked in the ghetto. You can always find these cars after a snow because nobody cleans them off.
The civilian director of Management and Labor Affairs, who has a reserved spot and a city vehicle (who knows why) has had her personal vehicle parked in the lot for the better part of TWO YEARS. She moves it to another spot periodically so "nobody notices." Easily identified by the plate "JD DIVA" or some other ghetto bullshit like that, you can usually find it in the front row of general parking taking up a spot that some working copper could use simply because this entitled, civilian "political" appointee doesn't want to be inconvenienced with having to be responsible for her own vehicle because she has been gifted the use of a car and parking space on our taxpayer dime. This about sums up the attitude most of there jagoff exempts have for the working copper.
Does compstat keep track of when you put out skeleton crews to cover an entire police district. The fightin 017th has even less manpower on 2nd watch today than the sheets that were posted on this very blog a few weeks ago. 020 has 4 bid openings though. They have more security guards covering the HIP mall in norridge than officers working a very large police district like 017.
This is absolute proof that CPD brass has no idea about how to fight crime. So here is a hint...
Put the cell phone down...and FOCUS on getting bad guys off the streets! Worry about Department morale, and getting manpower up to a reasonable level.
TWITTER? Who gives a shit???
I hate this job. I didn’t always hate this job. These continued asinine ideas from the merit idiot brain trust at HQ and pushed by the piss poor district level leadership has ruined this job. Go fuck yourselves. I’m done. 1st and 16th 9nly. Let blood run in the streets .
I been retired for years. Can someone please explain this...cpd units have Twitter that officers are supposed to brag police work on?
Here’s a stat for you. They are doing a survey to see if having any kind of sex 12 hours before your shift affects your ability to do effective police work. That does not include while working.
I had 64 methane releases last night in 005, is there a box to check off with that many "tweets"?
009 hosted a city run fun/back program for citizens. 009 didn’t even put it on Twitter. I read it in several other Cpd district Accts. Nice going.
Good job to whoever wrote all the tickets. Keep up the good work. Glad to see at least on3 officer not fetal. Now go down to Father Fakers church and state writing. Be sure to bring extra ticket books.
They lost me at PCI’s. We were told that everything looked great after a Compstat meeting, except the District was low on PCI’s!? Then all the HJs running out daily and grabbing PCI events. Sigh
poor planning as usual , Police headquarters should have built underground parking garage to hold a 1,000 plus cars .
Heard that Salesforce is working on a program called BLUEFORCE. You think things atrium bad no2 just ask anyone using the Salesforce program how they like it. If adopted Blueforce will insure that all officers become fetal. All your time will be spent on a tablet entering useless information that no one has time to read. But the white shirts will lovery it because the useless white shirt brigade will able to account for every minute of your day and generate very impressive reports that say nothing. All the while crime will soar and Salesforce will get richer selling the program to every force in country. Look out BLUEFORCE is lurking.
It is Stupid.
But always remember, if they can measure it, some idiot will manage by it.
They can count Twatter Posts, they can count Followers, therefore an idiot at 35th decide they should manage by it.
Just like...
Give them what they want, this is just another time killer. At least an hour per day tweeting your fool head off. Then just another 7 to worry about. Is there a pay per twe3t prospect Here? Kind of a pay per click that advertising generat3s. Maybe the brass bonus tied to the number of tweets. Oh you didn't know they got bonuseSome? What do you think all the pressure to buy Xmas party tickets is for.
Twitter? Twitter??
This department is so doomed under its current “leadership”
Time to drain the entire swamp and start fresh.
how about focusing on agg batts and shootings, not twitter followers. Dumb.
Is it true that the Kardashians and the boys from the Jersey Shore have all been made Merit bosses?
Every hundred tweets stops a drive by shooting.
Honest, I read it on Facebook.
In the early 2000, the D Unit had to put out a certain amount of composite sketches,
of wanted offenders! It didn’t matter if the sketch looked
like a cartoon character, you had to put a Special Bulletin to make HQ happy.
I have a twitter account I haven't logged into in years, who should I follow this month?
SCC or someone else should set up a twitter rotation schedule so we can all screw with their numbers
A little Elf told me...
CompStat is like the Nigerian prince who’s trying to keep his wealth from the warlords.
Now needs cash to regroup his humble regime, willing to pay you back 10,000 times your contribution.
The CAPS sends the Tweets, usually to showcase arrests and free stuff gibaways.
We need more Tweets or CAPS personnel activity to justify the important administrative positions and to save our CompStaff Prince.
A small contribution goes a long way. Please come in with a high profile, newsworthy arrest.
The 13th Period year end clearence.
No Arrests, No Tweets - No Tweets, No CAPS.
District Beat manpower increases expected by the New Year.
Way too logical and more truth coming from Nigerian princes.
Districts only tweet the “feel good” snowflake stories. oh, look we found a puppy; such a nice district Christmas tree; look at all the school supplies we gave out.
Do you think the snowflake fucks on twitter want to hear about the rape in their alley or the hype that died down their block or the pistol whipping car jacking at the corner. Show me a district that puts up those tweets.
Might as well tweet because we got nothing better to do.
This has been going on for months. My district tweets the weather report.
12/16/2018 03:16:00 AM
I know when I want to know the weather, the first place I check is my local police station's Twitter feed. They're clearly employing a meteorologist or two at the police station. It's not just some CAPS loser checking the local news station report. It's probably Brick Tamland.
.......But the career-long CAPS people and their coward Sgt in 009 can park their Porsche’s and Cadillac’s every day in the handicap spots 50 feet from the front doors of the 009th district station, even when there are open parking spots all over the same lot. All while the legitimately handicapped woman who works in the commander’s office (and uses a walker) parks her car in the parking garage in a non-handicapped parking spot. But I suppose that after the 2-hour work days, unlimited overtime, and going an entire career without ever having to work the street and do actual police work has earned them the right to park wherever the f#%? they want to.
The idiots that not only control this job , but the city have taken something that is so simple and completely fucked it up. The former Ford Heights PD was more legit than this Department.
Anonymous said...
Twitter? Twitter??
This department is so doomed under its current “leadership”
Time to drain the entire swamp and start fresh.
12/16/2018 09:47:00 AM
Nope.
Never be satisfied with just draining the swamp...
Poison it...
Drain it...
Kill any swamp critter that somehow
survives and manages to stagger out...
Purify it with white hot fire
that burns for several years...
Flood it again to be sure.
The righteously irate man refuses
to deal in half measures to effect
a fitting and proper course of correction.
Anonymous said...
.......But the career-long CAPS people and their coward Sgt in 009 can park their Porsche’s and Cadillac’s every day in the handicap spots 50 feet from the front doors of the 009th district station, even when there are open parking spots all over the same lot. All while the legitimately handicapped woman who works in the commander’s office (and uses a walker) parks her car in the parking garage in a non-handicapped parking spot. But I suppose that after the 2-hour work days, unlimited overtime, and going an entire career without ever having to work the street and do actual police work has earned them the right to park wherever the f#%? they want to.
12/16/2018 02:35:00 PM
That's nothing, there's a full duty Sgt in the superintendent's office who has a handicap placard who parks in the HC spots everyday, while the old ladies who work in the building sometimes walk up to a half mile away after finding parking on Michigan or state Street when the lot is full. Additionally, this scammer will be in the next Lt's class. Best and the brightest!
Fucking disgusting, no shame.
Anonymous Anonymous said...
I have a twitter account I haven't logged into in years, who should I follow this month?
SCC or someone else should set up a twitter rotation schedule so we can all screw with their numbers
12/16/2018 12:38:00 PM
They should give Callback it's own Twitter page!
Ah, so that explains the 020th district Commander doing Elf on a shelf. The man is a genius!!!!
I don’t give a fuck what CPD says. I never have, and never will, have a social media profile and I refuse to participate.
I’ll bet each district has one or two full duty “twits” er “twitter officers”
You know to go along with the two or three “compstat” officers and the one or two DIO’s.... when will this lunacy end?
Anonymous Anonymous said...
.......But the career-long CAPS people and their coward Sgt in 009 can park their Porsche’s and Cadillac’s every day in the handicap spots 50 feet from the front doors of the 009th district station, even when there are open parking spots all over the same lot. All while the legitimately handicapped woman who works in the commander’s office (and uses a walker) parks her car in the parking garage in a non-handicapped parking spot. But I suppose that after the 2-hour work days, unlimited overtime, and going an entire career without ever having to work the street and do actual police work has earned them the right to park wherever the f#%? they want to.
12/16/2018 02:35:00 PM
The elephant ass that constantly parks her Cadillac SUV in the Handicapped spot of the visitors lot has spent her entire career in CAPS.
She’s assigned to 3rd watch but works 2nd watch.
When she was a recruit she would tell her partners I don’t need to know this stuff cause I’m going right to CAPS. Said her Auntie was an alderthief.
Like o.m.g. im going to get a Twitter account so i can twit everything too.
Aaah Twitter, ive been trying to reach my district on MySpace
If they are parking in handicapped spots then they are true POS's
I don't think I can get twitter on my flip phone.....
Ah, so that explains the 020th district Commander doing Elf on a shelf. The man is a genius!!!!
No he is a moron... and all those comments in his elf photo post that he is a great boss and dressed as an elf for some holiday cheer.. boooyyyaaa right in the face, proof that he is one way! The 020 Commander was doing those silly antics to boost himself and his tweeter feed, not for holiday fun or any other BS reason his ridiculous suck butts were posting!
Look at some of the shit that is tweeted daily by 014. I guess there’s no crime there anymore.
Anonymous said...
I don’t give a fuck what CPD says. I never have, and never will, have a social media profile and I refuse to participate.
12/16/2018 09:35:00 PM
And, I do not think the department can make you do that. If you are on Facebook, and I hope that you are not, do not register under your real name. It used to be you can search for a person using their e-mail address or telephone number, but I am not sure if that still works. It is becoming common across the country to fire or demote or otherwise discipline someone based on something they posted on social media. Be carefull out there.
Is Cupich a “twitter” or a “tweet”?
The elephant ass that constantly parks her Cadillac SUV in the Handicapped spot of the visitors lot has spent her entire career in CAPS.
She’s assigned to 3rd watch but works 2nd watch.
When she was a recruit she would tell her partners I don’t need to know this stuff cause I’m going right to CAPS. Said her Auntie was an alderthief.
12/16/2018 09:50:00 PM
Write a ticket already!
Biggest problem with CPD is they're so late to the social media game that this is almost pointless. And why does each district have an account? 1 CPD account is fine. Have officers send pics or whatever to whoever is in charge of the account. Also, These accounts are so useless when it comes to actual information. Just follow ChicagoScanner or Spot if you want relevant info.
Anonymous Anonymous said...
If they are parking in handicapped spots then they are true POS's
12/16/2018 11:05:00 PM
If that’s true, call Pam or Tim
Anonymous said...
If they are parking in handicapped spots then they are true POS's
Park in their spot. They will get the hint or what are they going to do. Tell you to get out of their handicapped spot.
Anonymous Anonymous said...
.......But the career-long CAPS people and their coward Sgt in 009 can park their Porsche’s and Cadillac’s every day in the handicap spots 50 feet from the front doors of the 009th district station, even when there are open parking spots all over the same lot. All while the legitimately handicapped woman who works in the commander’s office (and uses a walker) parks her car in the parking garage in a non-handicapped parking spot. But I suppose that after the 2-hour work days, unlimited overtime, and going an entire career without ever having to work the street and do actual police work has earned them the right to park wherever the f#%? they want to.
12/16/2018 02:35:00 PM
The elephant ass that constantly parks her Cadillac SUV in the Handicapped spot of the visitors lot has spent her entire career in CAPS.
She’s assigned to 3rd watch but works 2nd watch.
When she was a recruit she would tell her partners I don’t need to know this stuff cause I’m going right to CAPS. Said her Auntie was an alderthief.
Your the police. Write her a ticket and when she confronts you, tell her you saw no handicapped plate or placard. What’s she gonna do
WTF. Everyone is afraid of her. Unbelieveable
Anonymous Anonymous said...
009 hosted a city run fun/back program for citizens. 009 didn’t even put it on Twitter. I read it in several other Cpd district Accts. Nice going.
12/16/2018 09:21:00 AM
They’ve only got about a bakers dozen “special people” up in the Admin office so apparently they’re understaffed and overworked.
I went to headquarters the other day. What a fucking dump. Some guy off the street taking a whores bath in the men's restroom. No working soap dispenser and nice black ring in the toilet bowel. Then walking around the floors are uneven because the building is sinking. Its like walking through a funhouse.
Is Cupich a “twitter” or a “tweet”?
12/17/2018 08:54:00 AM
Neither. But he is an unapologetic, fervent progressive.
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