More Smart Phone Uses
This is just funny:
- Anonymous said...But wait, there's more. The Samsung smartphone can be used as a Beat Tag, flashlight, ice scraper, Sap, alarm clock, Beat Book substitute, CAPS compensator, overtime calculator, time due applicator, furlough predictor, seniority arbitrator, rumor spreadicator, lunch time congregator, desk run order confirmator, end-of-shift station orbit indicator, after-work stop coordinator..... It just won't recognize a bad guy when it runs in to one. Just like it's papa, Jonathan Lewin! ......woops...did I say that?
Not only that, if you stick it in a sock, it makes one helluva sap.
Labels: from the comments, silly people
posted by SCC at 12:02 AM
49 Comments:
Also would take a few lines of code to enable remote microphone or camera access from a central controller. Talk about some behind the scenes supervision or ways to catch any on the job corruption. Can we discuss the obvious problems here besides durability? Beyond critical problems being introduced all around, not to mention any android operating system being full of security exploits for malware.
Will it let me know how many days since we had a contract? Enjoy your retro!
Lol!
And we used to joke years ago about the delicious
possibilities of a good sized hard-as-fuck
yam in a gym sock...
>WHAP!<
Dude laid the fuck out with a lump on
his noggin the size of a Clincher...
We ARE a fan of improvised emergency impact weapons.
A stout stick.
A brick secured to a length of hemp rope.
A length of sand-filled rubber hose with a 1890's
"eye-ron" doorknob secured to the end.
Or our personal favorite of an aluminum
baseball bat filled with cement that we
liberated from a shithead...
The yam?
Ecologically sound, environmentally friendly,
biodegradable and all that other jazz...
how is it JL even still on this job getting promoted every damn year up and and up and up? like, how is this even possible for him never never ever ever doing a lick of real genuine street experienced police work on this job and he is promoted literally every frigging year. worthless. when you see him off duty, he wears his baseball cap because of his ashamed bald head and stares down at the sidewalk while walking because he has no self esteem and confidence. he is a joke along with his little crew he plays around with for years in his Unit, it's called "the club" and if you ain't in it, you are not part of his posse. preferably young Latino and young white male officers may only apply. Why don't they promote JL to SUPERINTENDENT OF WORLDWIDE COMPUTERS because he needs a higher title annually and more $!? Thank goodness he got his BFF buddy friend BH a promotion finally after all these years. Again, another wanna-be brainiac with ZERO (0) police street experience unless you count his 3 weeks as a ppo in 020. When I see JL and his good BFF, I laugh at the absurdity, but then quickly choke because they are killing our pension with insane salaries and OT for a job that could be done withe a $40K civilian tech guy from Devry. Why does JL even need a take-home car, are there many emergencies involving a computer plug that may fall out during an AIRA report at a district desk?
Can we use it to swipe in and out??? can we, can we???
It still takes an officer with two hands and feet to jump out of the car and slap the bracelets on someone. The smart phone can't do that.
Hey but Lewin is starting to look a lot like “Leo” with all those ribbons. Pretty soon he will be starting page 2.
CTA has HD cameras as well, enough said. Smoke & mirrors!
One time use as a SAP.
Can I play Freecell on it?
Now, kees me you fool!!!!
8/23/2019 01:42:00 AM
Man, you are a real hater. What’s the matter - you didn’t like working in BTS when you were stripped or something? Lewin’s done more to support working coppers than you’ve probably ever done for yourself. Give it a rest already.
It’s also a shot-spotter.
And the hair gels can use the front camera to make the screen a mirror while they primp.
Maybe there will be an app created by the scooter companies that lets police locates the stolen ones. Scooter Lo-Jack!
And we can do-away with the DOR people flashing their fake badges and acting like they are cops. Software can tell you when you’re driving by a car at an expired paybox.
The list goes on and on.
Don’t get shot or jumped with your face staring at a phone. They are not a smart tool for a working street cop. Their very description is scary. “So police outside of their squad cars can access information.” That’s what your radio is for. You can watch your surroundings while you talk and listen. You cannot do so while looking at a phone.
Be safe.
Reminds of that commercial ...but wait there’s more!!!
Any cell phone can have it's camera or microphone turned on remotely.
Sap..... good one SCC.
Speaking of saps anyone who thinks Lewin has a clue is truly a SAP.
Talking to you Ed...... Lewin’s a clueless clown.
Will it track officers how to use the FOP for notifications
If I can swipe in and out on one then give me one.
Another use for these mini-computerized devices is -- and surprisingly not many people, especially Millenials, know about this -- you can actually make Phone Calls with them.
Really, this is not a joke. Given the fact that today's Hipster crowd have abandoned the quaint habit of actually speaking to anyone -- they communicate with others by Text Messaging on these devices in some weird shorthand language that on the surface resembles some sort of English -- this feature of placing actual Telephone Calls is known only to a few tech-savvy hipsters.
A recent study of smartphone use by 1,500 College Freshman found that 34% of the users never actually placed a Telephone Call on their device. While 62.4% had an average of 10,347 Texts sent, and 88.64% took an average of 3,124 'Selfies' with the camera feature.
"It still takes an officer with two hands and feet to jump out of the car and slap the bracelets on someone. The smart phone can't do that."
A Smart-Cop doesn't do that anymore.
Anonymous Anonymous said...
It still takes an officer with two hands and feet to jump out of the car and slap the bracelets on someone. The smart phone can't do that.
8/23/2019 03:35:00 AM
and neither should you in the current environment.
Better Policing through Samsung.
Sounds like the sort of thing Ralph Kramden bought thousands of.
But can it core a apple?
Bumstead Lewin should do a Sham-WOW! style commercial promoting his handy dandy community helper implement, taxpayers should know where this Dept is headed.
Let’s hope there’s a tool on the side that removes corns from your toes, all this high tech crime preventing is going to create a lot of free time.
Anyone ask if it an you make calls on it?
What’s the allowable obamaMinutes Plan?
So what we got is a 2001 Millennial special edition version of a $1000 Palm Pilot.
We’re paying this junior superintendent clown college money for grade school ideas.
If So. Korea (or China) needs to get rid of obsolete electronics, they call Chicago.
What isn’t known yet is if the old Hubermann-Motorola OEMC (you know, the one that charges $5.00 9-1-1 surcharge) is set up to handle multiple layers of these digital technologies, or are just Areas are being beefed up with mystery money?
Dr. A.B.Normal Lewin needs to go back to the future and figure out how to generate more jigawatts.
Yeah, we’re 21st Century alright.
[Sent from my MySpace Account on Commodore 64]
We could have a trillion dollars in technology but every once in a while you need to be a caveman.
Can I watch Netflix on it?
What another JOKE...wont stop shootings, car jackings, robberies, burglaries etc.
Smart phones are actually making people dumb.
Slightly Off Topic-Just read a couple of articles regarding a Hiring Freeze and ironically a large renovation of the Mayors Office using TIF Funds.I know the following are not original Cost Saving thoughts but,since the city is not hiring Police Officers or Firemen there is no need for the new west side Academy.Maybe the Mayor can put a hold on decorating and renovating her offices.Also the City could stop providing around the clock security to Daley,Emmanuel,Burke,etc. including guarding empty houses including the Mayors Home since she is rarely there and seems to take frequent vacations.Also a hold can be put on all of the Police Departments Computer Wiz,s ideas I.E see above column.I am sure all of the observant budget conscious readers can offer many more thoughts.
Abbraa cadabaa... more hocus pocus !
These Krazy Lewie’ Scamsung multi-tech devices will likely be secretly programmed with an App that cant be deleted or turned off.
Maybe or maybe not an icon will be displayed on the screen to look somewhat legitimate.
It will not only record live GPS locations but will count your steps, distance ran (e.g. forbidden foot chase), travel distance/time spans, CHA stairs climbed and idling still time (sleep mode). The Apple iPhones have a health app preinstalled that does this, never knew about it until recently, Photos are geolocation too.
Fuckers are collecting a lot of data unless you believe you can turn Location Services off.
Think of it as an ankle monitor that’s going to infringe on your privacy and lunch travel time, then there’s checkoff and on scene times.
If discipline isn’t enough to balance the GrootBudget, docking the payroll will.
O.T.,Well I guess a Hiring Freeze for the Police Department is one way to avoid the embarrassment of not receiving more than a few hundred eligible applicants.In case you have not been paying attention Mayor,no one is seeking employment on your quickly sinking ship.Look no futher than your own staff for evidence of that fact.
I can see it now. We are looking away from where we are driving enough already. now try to read something sitting on the mount that is only about 1/6th the size of the PDT screen. Everytime it beeps I'll have to pull over and put my cheaters on to see what it says. Kind of like trying to read VINs off of insurance cards with their 4 point type.
Anonymous said...But wait, there's more. The Samsung smartphone can be used as a Beat Tag, flashlight, ice scraper, Sap, alarm clock, Beat Book substitute, CAPS compensator, overtime calculator, time due applicator, furlough predictor, seniority arbitrator, rumor spreadicator, lunch time congregator, desk run order confirmator, end-of-shift station orbit indicator, after-work stop coordinator..... It just won't recognize a bad guy when it runs in to one. Just like it's papa, Jonathan Lewin! ......woops...did I say that?
Yes, but can it core an apple?
And we can do-away with the DOR people flashing their fake badges and acting like they are cops. Software can tell you when you’re driving by a car at an expired paybox.
The list goes on and on.
8/23/2019 07:46:00 AM
Haters going to Hate.
When was the last time you wrote a parking ticket? Better yet, when was the last time you wrote one Correctly? Or even better, would you do your job impartially in 011 as well as 016 if you were writing parking tickets?
I have dozens of examples over the years I could post here. With Badge Numbers. Results of FOIA's into how many tickets are dismissed regularly from Unit 050 and 051. But my job isn't to OUT a cop that might not actually know how to write Parkers.
Since, if you did....I wouldn't have a Job doing it.
Appologies SCC...but if the poster wants to take a shot at us in Finance, I'd rather he/she/they post under their Real Name.
OT Please stay away from the coastline of Lake Michigan with waves over 6ft in height. Stay safe and away!
Makes a great sap too
Stop wasting tax payers money on bull shit. Cellphones don't stop shootings, car jackings, robberies,and burglaries!
Stop spending tax payers money foolishly!
Hey Mayor,Windy City Rehab could have done that Quarter of a Million remodeling job on your office for half that price.So much for the required Bidding Procedure.Got to spend those TIF Funds quickly before questions roll in.
This Mayor of Chicago job is one sweet gig!2 months on the job and you get a paid vacation along with weekend trips around the country and a $225,000.00 remodeling of your office a week before you relieve taxpayers of more money.
@8/23/2019 09:40:00 AM
That is true. Scary but true.
Nobody cares! I’d rather have a new neck pillow.
Just like the department tasers, some connected hack will have the contract.
Prayers 🙏 to our brothers at ISP.
Bracelets. Is that police talk?
CPD is a fuck'n JOKE !!!!!
Cellphones won't stop shootings,car jackings,robberies,burglaries,etc.
Cellphones don't stop shootings, car jackings, robberies, burglaries,and other crimes. Don't get fooled !!!!
Omg...like viewing video crime games on xbox and playstation inside the police car. Don't we already have the SDSC ROOM in the stations for this crap!
With all these camera's throughout the city,why aren't shootings and crime's declining?????
More James Bond 007 bull shit!
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