Monday, December 02, 2019

Tusks for Everyone!

  • Poland says it will award its highest medal for sacrifice and courage to a Polish national who played a key role in preventing the London Bridge attack from escalating further.

    A spokesman for the country's justice minister, Zbigniew Ziobro, said on Twitter he would request the bravery honor from the country's president. He added that the man — known only as Lukasz— "risked his own life" and "helped to overpower the terrorist."

    British media reported that Lukasz, who works as a chef, snatched a 1.5-meter (5 foot) narwhal (whale) tusk from the wall of Fishmongers' Hall as Friday's stabbing attack unfolded.
No guns, no Tasers, no batons - just narwhal tusks.



Anonymous Anonymous said...

Eddie Johnson is working with Chgo Uniform Co for a custom leather tusk holster- expect it to be profitable for all involved

12/02/2019 12:10:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

When they disarm their bodyguards and rearm them with cutlery!

12/02/2019 12:17:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

When does retraining start? I am ready to hand in everything including working Kidney

12/02/2019 12:27:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


12/02/2019 01:27:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


12/02/2019 02:07:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Racist narwhal bastards!

Ban narwhal tusks NOW America!

12/02/2019 02:10:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

First issue is on the City!!!

12/02/2019 02:49:00 AM  
Blogger I Fart In Your General Direction said...

Must be a Highlander.

Those motherfuckers love to fight, are strong as oxen and crazy as the day is long. Think Andrew Golota.

God bless this Polish national and God bless his Motherland for having the balls to stave off the Muslim invasion which has decimated other European countries.


12/02/2019 03:27:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Na Zdrowie Lukasz!
Lars Pilsen

12/02/2019 04:17:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Why does the song Kung Fu Fighting keep running thru my head.

12/02/2019 05:33:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Your going to need something when they take your guns away. Better hope they perfect light sabers in the next two years, because that is about all the time you have. But remember the pen is mightier than the sword or so they say. Me, I wouldn't want to show at a sword fight with a pen. Just saying....

12/02/2019 05:34:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ii could get my teeth into that.

12/02/2019 05:57:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Definitely a first ballot inductee into the kielbasa hall of fame.

12/02/2019 06:07:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yeah it's that season again. Dream of putting 2 snow shovels
in my trunk. I don't do funky kinky angles. Just 'straight pipe'
solid wooden handles, kinda like the Tusk. That would qualify
as a humane weapon. If stopped by a motorcop and asked
"Do you have any weapons in the vehicle" I could honestly
say "No". "Just two snow shovels, a bag of rock salt, sand,
and a full spare, Officer."

12/02/2019 06:10:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ziebigbiew, worked in old 019! I worked with him. He’d do Two movers a week to keep “Action Jackson” Schultz off of him. Some older guys showed me the comedy show “Taxi.” Schultz was on that show. Danny Devito played him or at least looked like him. Devito’s Character has an uncanny resemblance to “Action Jackson” Shultz. He was inarguably short, overweight, did NOT HIT THE STREET. So, “Action Jackson” used his Yapper, but was really A MOUSE.
He was the Best Double Meat Burrito Eater in Chicago. Sour cream pouring down his cheeks swollen by Neglect. U know how they say “Fat Dogs have Fat Owners? He brought his Dogs to The Ramp in 019 coming out of Bel/West. That saying turned out to be factual. The Dogs were all overweight and Ray Charles could tell they were Table Fed.
Well Congratulations old Bel/West 019. Good for you.
Tony Danza is probably here by now with Alex Reager to present awards

12/02/2019 06:25:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Coming to a US city near you soon. Vote the idiots out. Take my guns? Fuuuck you. I’m not gonna enforce your stupid laws either.

12/02/2019 06:40:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

But you can't use it while the offender is armed, unarmed, running, on hard ground, in soft ground, near water, intoxicated, or in mental crisis.

12/02/2019 06:58:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

It's a brand new fad sweeping the nation, just in time
for Christmas. Forget those red neck gun racks in the
pickup windows. That's over. The new thing is Tusks.

12/02/2019 06:58:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Tusks are going over big right now in Tuscaloosa.
Kay Ivey, Govenor of Alabama, has declared a sales tax ban
to stimulate the economy.

12/02/2019 07:03:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

A widow was befuddled how to value the extensive Tusk
collection of her late husband. Estate attorneys had to
consult museums and paleontologists to satisfy the IRS.

12/02/2019 07:09:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

A pilot program should commence with LL’s security detail.

12/02/2019 07:10:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This could present a problem for parents across the U.S.
Prudence dictates the purchase of a Tusk Safe. Following
the lead of major sporting goods retailer Dick's, many stores
have simply refused to stock Tusks out of an abundance of

12/02/2019 07:15:00 AM  
Blogger News Scoop said...

Chicago will have all residents register their TUSKS at a fee of $200.00 per tusk. A Concealed Carry Tusk card then will have to be obtained.

12/02/2019 07:51:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

No! That tusk was a semi-automatic assault tusk. He's the one who belongs in prison, not the terrorist. Assault narwhal tusks should be banned.

12/02/2019 07:57:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I remember a time when London was British and filled with British persons... Days long past, never to return.

12/02/2019 08:02:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

To qualify to carry concealed you have to be polish.

12/02/2019 08:12:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Us poles are creative and know how to take care of business

12/02/2019 08:22:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Go Tusks!
Well Done, Sir. Well Done.

12/02/2019 08:24:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Due to the Cozzi incident, any tusk will have to be dept.-issue.
You hear that, young Turks?

12/02/2019 08:28:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

And since a Narwhal Tusk can go for $11,000 to $30,000 depending on length, imagine the graft opportunities for arming the CPD.

12/02/2019 08:30:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ya know, when you're a babe in the woods from Massilon
and you don't realize how the weather can paralyze things,
you just don't throw a date out there. Vacationing Chiefs
can run into airline delays and the annual Thanksgiving
migration rush.

12/02/2019 08:32:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Had an Irish friend tell me that a lot of Polish immigrants in Ireland work security and they don't mess around. At soccer games and on the trains he's seen these dudes whip some ass and they're all monsters. Different rules/culture in Ireland I guess.

12/02/2019 08:36:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You forgot to mention the assist from the guy with the
fire extinguisher. Everybody helped on this one, even
bystanders with their bare hands.

12/02/2019 08:36:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Poland is the only country in the U standing up and refusing the illegal influx of 3rd world savages. Good for them.

12/02/2019 08:40:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Force Review Unit determined that such action is unwarranted.

12/02/2019 08:45:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


my kind of polski guy

12/02/2019 08:48:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I believe a Viking style horned helmet would be a wonderful added accessory.

12/02/2019 08:50:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Countdown until PETA has a snowflake snit over Narwhal hunting causing global warming or something equally absurd.

12/02/2019 09:04:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Polish Hussars heart thank God or who knows how many would have died. True respect.

12/02/2019 09:17:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Squad" this has been a narwhal pointing incident.

12/02/2019 09:22:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

True story...In college I dated a beautiful and fiery little Pole last name Wisniewski. She wasn't five feet with shoes on. So one day I was supposed to do some fix up chores while she was working. Instead her brother came over and we drank many Budweisers watching football and we both concluded we were too impaired to fuck around with power tools. Safety first! When she got home she was so pissed she pried my mounted trophy smallmouth off it's plaque and threw it at me hitting me dead in the middle of my forehead resulting in an ER run for 7 stitches. Her brother drove me and he was laughing so hard he nearly wrecked us twice, plus he was drunk. When the doctor asked what happened I told him and he said well it's a good thing you didn't have a mounted swordfish.

12/02/2019 09:34:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

They are going to give him a P.A.P.A. Award as soon as they redo the White Eagle over on Milwaukee Ave.

12/02/2019 09:40:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Historically Poles have suffered plenty thanks to their neighbors on both sides. Since the fall of communism, Poland has quietly become one of the best European countries to live in. Better than Germany, France, and Sweden. Hopefully it stays that way.

12/02/2019 09:46:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Lukasz can grill me up a feast anytime.
He's gonna be in big demand for fire department pig roasts
and such in the U.S. this summer. London PD should give
him that Tusk with a gold ID tag.

12/02/2019 09:51:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

If the cops had not arrived, the citizens would have just
elimated this scum all by themselves

12/02/2019 09:54:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Tusks for Everyone!"

I’m dipping mine in pigs blood, and coating it in bacon grease.

12/02/2019 10:17:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

And if the world could not get any more upsidedown, the father of the man killed in the attack has come out in favor of the offender's rights...&*%$!!

12/02/2019 10:33:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

See ya Special Ed. Don’t let the door hit you in your fat ass on your way out....... oh yeah and take your cheating Lie-Tenant Wheezie with you.

12/02/2019 10:47:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ziggy probably had his papers and property confiscated by Saddick Khan’s (Rahm's cousin) sanctuary staatspolizei (the media).
Hero in the homeland, but his interference with a local repeat convicted justice involved feral Londonistani is not welcomed.
Besides, Zig didn’t use any verbal judo.
Hope he made it to the consulate.

The Jugghead R&D puzzler.
First issue or optional?
Where, when and how would we carry a narwhal?
Strapped on; the helmet, belt, front, back, hang it, strong side, cross draw, tuck?

We need hugs not weapons.
Sorry this won’t ever make the pilot program.
They’re trying to figure out how to disarm 80% of the Street Police.

12/02/2019 10:54:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Johnson just fired by Larry

12/02/2019 10:55:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

He gone!

12/02/2019 10:59:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

he gone, now go grab some bench.

somebody lasso beck's ass back here.

see how that dirt bike works on snow.

12/02/2019 11:03:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thar she Blows me maties!

12/02/2019 11:50:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Why are there no terrorist attacks in Poland?

12/02/2019 11:51:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Stolat i Nazdrowie Lukasz, be a proud guroli (highlander aka hillbilly) like my Dziadzi!!!

12/02/2019 12:01:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Exactly why the brits want the polish out. How is a guy supposed to wage jihad in Londoniston with these poles in the way?

12/02/2019 12:02:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Had I known all the facts at the time, I would have relieved him of his duties as superintendent then and there.” "

All the facts were discussed here on SCC every day. Wok up girl.

SCC thank you for all you do.

SCC the only investigative reporter in Chicago.

12/02/2019 12:02:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Blogger IFIYGD said...

"Must be a Highlander.

Those motherfuckers love to fight, are strong as oxen and crazy as the day is long. Think Andrew Golota.

God bless this Polish national and God bless his Motherland for having the balls to stave off the Muslim invasion which has decimated other European countries.


12/02/2019 03:27:00 AM

Heard about those Highlanders...

We certainly won't give short shrift
to those coal miners and dock workers either.

"Andrew Golota"

That name is certainly a blast from the past.


Why oh why did you remind us of this one particular
RBMF (REALLY Big M/Fer) who had the national symbol
of Poland tattooed across his back...

"I show you..."
>Strip! - FLEX!<


VERY detailed Polish Eagle...

Dude was big enough where he could just climb a lamp post
and be a flag all by hisself...

Aside from being drunk and having engaged in
mutual shit-beating with his drinking companions,
it was all good.

Just like back in the day...


Give a lump - Take a lump.

No crying, bitching or
running to The Police.

And they'll have a drink at the end
and laugh about it...

We think the whole of Eastern Europe is about
good and tired of the gleefully violent, joyously hateful,
ardently non-assimilationist muslim invaders chasing their
1400 year old fantasy of conquering the whole of Europe.

Western Europe is deep in the throes of the abject knee-walking
and ass-smooching surrender/capitulation/accommodation as espoused
by THEIR version of national sovereignty wrecking, milquetoast liberal
democrat progressive collectivist free-shitters that we're afflicted with here.

12/02/2019 12:14:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ray O’Harrons has the nineteen round narwhal tusks on sale for cyber Monday.

12/02/2019 12:41:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

No surprise.those eastern Europeans throw rocks at tanks.I heard it took them a while to get a gun there.

12/02/2019 12:42:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Heard he was pretty handy with a knife too

12/02/2019 12:58:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Those motherfuckers love to fight, are strong as oxen and crazy as the day is long. Think Andrew Golota.

God bless this Polish national and God bless his Motherland for having the balls to stave off the Muslim invasion which has decimated other European countries.


12/02/2019 01:13:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

“Gibs me dat.” The hijacking of a narwhal tusk on the west side. Soon all low-hanging pants youths will be swinging narwhal tusks instead of popping guns and rapping loudly about their new weapon of choice.

12/02/2019 01:16:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You will have to do a report everytime you point a narwhal tusk at someone

12/02/2019 01:18:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

We ain't got enough of those tusks, maybe we could substitute rat teeth? We have those in abundance! We could start with these damn politicians teeth.

12/02/2019 01:41:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The academy has already started production on the mandatory pre-narwhal tusk qualification video. Don't forget to bring in a copy of your printed certificate of completion when you go to qualify. Foam training tusks will be supplied for qualification. Actual tusks must be purchased exclusively at Chicago Uniform, per the deal prearranged with Eddie Johnson prior to today's news.

12/02/2019 01:52:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Somewhere a libtard is thinking that we ought to ban Narwhal tusks! No one needs a 5' narwhal assault tusk! Require background checks, safe storage, fingerprinting, insurance, microprinting on the tusk to identify the owner, and a 3 day waiting period >sarcasm<

Actually all this incident proves is that regardless of what's banned, criminals will find a way to commit mayhem and murder, and then it's up to the good people to defend themselves with whatever they can.

Kudos to the guy for doing what had to be done.

12/02/2019 02:12:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Anonymous said...
Why are there no terrorist attacks in Poland?
12/02/2019 11:51:00 AM

no muslims!

12/02/2019 02:58:00 PM  
Blogger Anonymous said...

I don't care what anybody says, using a narwhal tusk to stop an active threat is fucking cool in my book. Give that man a medal. As a side note; I'd rather be armed with a Ruger LCP than a narwhal tusk...

12/02/2019 03:28:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I carried a “ drop tusk “ for years. ♠️

12/02/2019 03:40:00 PM  
Blogger stash the polski guy said...

bet that country boy slurps down Czarnina by the bucketful.

highlanders are mountain folk sometimes refereed to as hillbilly's.

12/02/2019 04:14:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Why are there no terrorist attacks in Poland?

They have Donald Tusk.

12/02/2019 05:07:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Skip the Polish honors.
He needs to be Knighted by the Queen.
The Beatles, Jagger, ect. that was economic & good will.
This Polish guy prevented more deaths.

12/02/2019 05:33:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Trump in London for 3-day NATO.
He safe now.

12/02/2019 05:33:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Na zdrowie! Poland has saved Europe from Muslim invasion time and time again, and they continue to do so (they told the EU to piss off when they requested they take "refugees"). Read about the Polish Hussars! Polish military generals are partially responsible for the American Revolution victory as well; America's first Calvary was headed by a Pole! Poland and Hungary also told Monsanto to get the hell out of their countries as well, no GMO farms there - Hungary actually burned them to the ground! God Bless Poland!

12/02/2019 06:20:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

'Tusk'? Cue up the Fleetwood Mac!

12/02/2019 06:26:00 PM  
Anonymous Bilateral Embedded Support Team said...

And the winged hussars arrive! The Polish saved Vienna in 1683 from the Muslim invasion, and save London in 2019 the same way. Charging with spears
kurwa niesamowite
I really want to say zieabisecha, but I have no idea how to type it in Polish. lol

12/02/2019 06:58:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Is history going to repeat itself and are the Poles going to save Europe from the muslims again?

12/02/2019 08:15:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Even the London Metropolitan Police don't have a draconian residency requirement. London police have to have lived in London for 3 years but can then move out.

And as part of a recruitment drive, London Metro Police are even waiving the 3 year residency requirement.

12/02/2019 11:04:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Polish guys are tough, they charged 50 ton german battle tanks with horse cavalry when germany invaded poland.

12/03/2019 03:11:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I refrained frm perusing the comments for the too tusky to resist post by the K Bandito.

My penance is my imagining it.

Thankfully, it was neither an elephant tusk, nor a walrus tusk, nor a unicorn tusk!!!!!

12/03/2019 04:40:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Narwhal tusks would make a cool weapon , which explains why they have already been banned in America since 1973.

12/03/2019 06:21:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I don't care what anybody says, using a narwhal tusk to stop an active threat is fucking cool in my book. Give that man a medal. As a side note; I'd rather be armed with a Ruger LCP than a narwhal tusk...

12/02/2019 03:28:00 PM

LOL! I'd take the tusk over the LCP.

12/03/2019 08:55:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey, lol to the guy who doesn't know how to spell:)
BTW..Wodnicki, shame on you. You don't deserve Polish last name. Tell Eddie J. to adopt you.

12/03/2019 11:35:00 AM  

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