Keesing Bandit Exposed
A long time SCC reader in trouble with the law:
- A burglar who broke into a home just east of Fresno rubbed food seasoning over the body of one of two men as they slept in their rooms and then used an 8-inch sausage to whack the other man on the face and head before running out of the house, Fresno County sheriff's deputies said Saturday.
- "It seems the guy ran out of the house wearing only a T-shirt, boxer shorts and socks, leaving behind his wallet with his ID," Burrimond said.
- The victims, both farmworkers, told deputies they were awakened by a stranger applying "Pappy's Seasoning" to one of them and striking the other with a sausage.
Labels: we got nothing
posted by SCC at 12:31 AM
40 Comments:
I do that to the old lady with my chorizo and rub papis special sauce. And she loves it now swat me you fool.
One of the best things i've read in a while. So bizarre, yet so great.
reminds me of the years I spent in the Marines. When pranksters would look for people sleeping in the squad bays rub a hot dog or a pickle on the sleeper's lips. As the guy would wake up he would see the prankster standing over him while simultaneously playing with his zipper. That was classic. But we didn't antique them though.
LMAO
Police referred to the offender as the "ass goblin".
Sounds like this guy had something more than just "Keesing" on his mind.
it could have been worse-- they could have been covered in cayenne pepper and whacked with a two foot long salami.
I wonder if he was planning on peppering them with questions, laced with salty language, in order to spice up their lives? Never sausage a thing before, but I am sure it offers links.
Or he might have been mistreated in the wurst way....
Are they sure it was a sausage?
I love the wierd stuff.
Lucky the offender did'nt use a Super Hot Link ...it would have killed him!
The Keesing Bandit says---
You are wrong. It was not me.
However, I am willing to learn.
Now, kees me you fool!!!
THATS FOREPLAY FOR SEISER
FUNNY - Crazy but funny
Isn't Dr. Dan vacationing in Fresno now? I think they got the wrong guy.
WOW.
This thread MAY surpass talk like a pirate day.
How far off Broadway is Fresno Street?
Now who ordered the footlong?
Anonymous said...
Are they sure it was a sausage?
9/09/2008 05:21:00 AM
Maybe John C Holmes has risen from the dead!!
I think DETECTIVE SHAVEDLONGCOCK just got back from furlough. Sounds like his M.O.
My profiling skills tell me the offender was Polish or Italian.
lmao !
California...not surprising.
Here, that is weird.
There, it's just kinky.
Hey we should replace the expandable baton with a long hardened salami! Try DNA testing that!
GO MEAT!
So what's the crime?
Mr. President said that sausage came from the farmer who was not sleeping just dreaming. And that rub came from the other so called sleeping farmer. The farmers were last seen running after the offender with only their thongs yelling to please finish what he started.
What the fuuuuuu....?
i dont think it was a sausage that smacked him in the face...if you know what im sayinn
SCC is speechless? That's a new one!
was huberman in fresno?
Can an evidence tech dust for sausage?
Not much was happening...
Squad give me a time and number for a TVB (tempting virile bratwurst)
Damn...i cant find my wallet anywhere..thats the last time i go to california
Ah California, The land of fruits and nuts.
perverted is using a feather, kinky is using the whole chicken
"perverted is using a feather, kinky is using the whole chicken
9/10/2008 04:36:00 PM"
Not that there's ANYTHING wrong with that?
<< Home