Friday, February 13, 2009

Help IAD Do Something Useful

As you may have heard here and elsewhere, IAD is calling down the entire desk crew from the 014 District so they can find out who faxed a humorous "Certificate of Recognition" that lampoons the 14-year-old police impersonator, the 003 District and gently tweaks J-Fed.

We were wandering around our station the other day and we found this posted on a nearby bulletin board:Click the pic for a full screen shot. It loses a lot of clarity, but you'll get the idea.

The text reads as follows:
  • In that, on 24-Jan-2009, you entered the 003rd District police station in an illegally obtained obtained police uniform and brilliantly by-passed the elaborate Homeland Security system to secure a radio (that you did not know how to operate) and a citation book (that you did not know how to fill out since your 8th grade class had not covered that yet), proceeded to assign yourself to a traffic car and in 5 hours came in with more activity tan any other officer in the 003rd District. We stand in awe that as a 14 year old juvenile, you accomplished all of this without a star, a gun, or a police I.D. Congratulations, and stand proud that you now have more experience on the street than our very own Superintendent.
We immediately thought of removing the item and faxing it directly to IAD (5-6931) because we'd hate to see any of our desk personnel get in trouble over such lighthearted and childish nonsense. But then we thought, if 014 got in trouble for sending this to 003, who knows what would happen if we sent this directly to IAD from our desk? Instead, we thought we'd do the right thing and make all our readers aware of the offending material, make sure they recognized it and made sure they knew exactly where to send it. Just include this handy little note in the cover sheet:
  • To: IAD
    From: Anon E. Moose
    Subject: Fake Certificate

    R/O located this item hanging on the wall in the XXX District. R/O is faxing it to you so that you can continue to spend valuable time, money, and resources chasing down the perpetrators.
Remember, it's up to everyone to keep our workplaces free and clear of nonsense and IAD is leading the charge to eliminate humor from the hallways and keeping the jokes where they belong - running the Department.

Labels:

135 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

finally got to see it....fabulous....anyway to link it somehow, so that the mere mortals can download and print it?

2/13/2009 12:12:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Im a fellow city worker and I have to say that's REALLY good !!!!

Clearly someone put allot of thought and energy in that certificate .... lol

Someone should spend a little coin(outside of cRook county) and have that framed. I bet nobdoy would notice it until they read it ... lol

stay safe

FELLOW CITY GUY

2/13/2009 12:21:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This is really funny indeed. This nonsense goes on where we work to but there is no IAD poking around, just bad management like you police have to deal with. But with the kidding aside, it is sad what has become of the CPD. And as I look back in history, it begins and ends on the 5th floor of the hall. J. Daley controlled it with a degree of incompetence but M. Daley has really accelerated and demonstrated his incompetence.

2/13/2009 12:21:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

What watch desk crew is getting called down there?

2/13/2009 12:32:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think the cubs have a better chance at winning the world series than iad does at solving this case. lol I wonder what rat in 003 sent that to iad.

2/13/2009 12:35:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

That's awesome! Isn't the City in dire financial straits? Free Cozzi! Fuck JFed!

2/13/2009 12:36:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

HILARIOUS!!! The last line is priceless!!! Whoever sent this, JOB WELL DONE!!!

2/13/2009 12:39:00 PM  
Anonymous 016 District Worker said...

That's awesome! What's the problem with a little humor to cheer us up with moral in the toilet. Oh did the truth hurt JPud's feelings about never being the police? :(

2/13/2009 01:04:00 PM  
Blogger murphy's law said...

department special order #09-00666

anyone displaying a sense of humor in or out of uniform, on or off duty,.............shades of geo. orwell

2/13/2009 01:13:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

There is an even better one floating around don't want to say what Dist. but it is out there. Last week there was a list of known police impersonators released by the Dept. A pic of J-Fraud was attached to it and it is beautiful. We'll wait until the heat dies down before this one is released.

2/13/2009 01:15:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Why is IAD wasting there time on this... This is just a funny piece of work to humor the PO's. This certificate Is not hurting anyone - the department needs this .. We need to laugh...The only thing this piece of work is hurting is my stomach..and that's because I am laughing so hard. This is actually why I like going to work ... Because of my brothers and sisters in blue Who make me laugh and put a smile on my face each and everyday I work with them... And this is what makes our jobs bearable and sometimes actually enjoyable. Be safe !!!

2/13/2009 01:32:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

J-fed is a pussy, a typical FED, that can't take a joke. Dork.

2/13/2009 01:32:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

IAD has been in 003 all week interviewing EVERYONE that was working the night of the incident.

2/13/2009 01:33:00 PM  
Blogger NorthSide said...

I did it. I confess. I'll never do it again.

I snuck behind the desk at 014 while the crew was preoccupied with their duties.

Perhaps da WEISel can send out one of the "hotties" from Fort Fellatio to punish me with a riding crop.

2/13/2009 01:35:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

SSC JUST TO LET KNOW, FREIND ON MINE IS A COP IN CALIFORNIA, HE WAS LAUGHING HIS HEAD OFF. KEPT UP THE GREAT WORK JODY,

2/13/2009 01:50:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The more J-Fed nitpicks such nonsense, the bigger fool he is (if that's possible).

A mortician has a greater sense of humor than Supt. Douchebag. What a jagoff.

2/13/2009 01:51:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Not ever being the police it is not surprise the JFED has no sense of humor. Would be best to just let this blow over but who am I to say... LOL

2/13/2009 01:52:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Rio's Olympic stadium plans are great. They really know how to impress the world.

2/13/2009 02:21:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

with all the uniform stuff this kid had to go out and buy, we should give the kid a uniform check, what do you think scc? because as weis says, i just don't see any..........

2/13/2009 02:34:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

If you think that's funny, you should see the CSA report that some brain surgeon from 012 wrote.

According to the report, the male victim suffers from split personality disorder, among other things. He alleges that one of his "other" personalities sexually assaulted him!

I don't know what's more f*cked up. The fact that the victim was in a locked down psych ward when the beat car responded, the fact the a sergeant signed the report, the fact that the report looked like it was written by a second grader or the fact that the hospital acutually did a rape kit!

If you happen to get ahold of this masterpiece, you be the judge.

2/13/2009 02:42:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I love the stab at the end. Perfect post SCC!!!

2/13/2009 02:48:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hell, there are numerous copies of this floating around in Area 4. Have been all week.

2/13/2009 02:53:00 PM  
Anonymous No morale problems here said...

LOL, our department truely has become a joke and is now the laughing stock of police department across the nation.

Thanks to our political leaders sold us out and the few officers who have given the fuel for politicians to campaign against us.

The news media which has become nothing more than tabloid news (most of what they print is lies).

Political hacks who have been meritoriously promoted beyond their ability. The poor excuse for a leader, J-Fed who lost most of his troups at how he handled Cozi. J-Fed continues to lose his department with his promotional picks placed upon us and the rules which he chooses to follow. Some of the exempts he allowed to be dumped were good leaders, who could have led this department to the greatness it once was. In his current exempt staff I could name a handful of good picks the rest are useless.

J-Fed's unjustly disciplinary practices he placed upon the hard working officers. Morale is at an all time low and just when you think it could not get any lower something occurrs and it does.

I miss being the working police, but, I like many officers have a family to provide for and don't want to be unjustly disciplined for some shithead who routinely screws up.

I hope someday we get leadership that enables us and provides us with the atmosphere that allows the working police to work again.

I have to much time on this job to leave, but to little to retire. My advice to officers with less than 5years, would be to use this job as a stepping stone to another job.

I loved this department and hopefully will love it again, but for now, I just to the bare bones to get by and hopefully be left alone. Hopefully real leadership will return to this department before it is destroyed beyond repair.

2/13/2009 02:55:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Jody is Supt. Daley is still mayor, Stroger is head of the County and Obama is president.
I don't see a lot of humor lately.

2/13/2009 03:01:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I.ve been on for over 20 years. When will the very few idiots, stop doing stupid things (the Fax, The phone call to FBI, tow trucks etc). These guys/gals are bringing this sh&t on to themsevles and nobody else to blame but themselves. They need to think of the consequences before they do something stupid. Enough is enough. The Mayor hates us. The Supe hates us. The public hates us. the rank & file hates the stupid ones for causing all this BS upon everyone. These guys/gals are doing some of these things for laughs, to try to embarass the department. but it's actually hurting the working coppers. Sure I do see the double standards and i'm tired of that also. But let's not feed the fire.

SCC, your great. I agree that this is a place where we could vent, let some steam off. You do a great job. I believe some of the things that are said on this site but i've been around to know that alot of this is BS. they just want to start sh*t and spread rumors.

Sorry for the rant but i'm fed up with the way we are perceived in the media, in the public and even within our own department. There is a lot of citizens that do like the police. SCC thanks for the time. keep up the good work.

2/13/2009 03:02:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am retired, and after reading the posts about what is going on in the Department and how morale is down, I was very disheartened that the "spirit" of the Beat Copper was gone. This "document" has restored my faith in the never-say-die attitude of the Blue Shirt. Don't ever give in or give up. They can kick us, or try their best to make us miserable, but they can't break us. Keep it up, you have put a smile on a lot of people's faces and egg on the faces that deserve it! Come to think of it, egg on Jody's face would be an improvement!

2/13/2009 03:11:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Could you find a way to make the image clearer? I'd like to help in this effort!

2/13/2009 03:12:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

O.T.- I Just got my FOP book today in the mail (13 Feb 09).

2/13/2009 03:22:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

OMG this made my day. I have to archive this for retirement. Haha the whole desk crew?? Whose job description says guard the fax machine??

2/13/2009 03:27:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

AH ha ha ha ha.

That's good stuff.

2/13/2009 03:35:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The is just fucking awesome!

This has to be the comedy of the year!

Kudos to the 14 year old. to fool those "idiot stupervisors" who should be held accountable and NOT any P.O.'s!

2/13/2009 03:41:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I dunno SCC:) Sounds a lot like your writing!!!!!

2/13/2009 04:01:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

In light all all the doom and gloom, it brightens the day with that typical humor that you need to keep your sanity...

Please keep us advised as to how much man power and how many "threats" roll down the hallway... I think we should fax it at least monthly, at least over to Shortshanks so he can file it...

2/13/2009 04:31:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I was at 26th street today and its posted all over the State's Attorney's Offices. Will IAD call them in as well?

2/13/2009 04:34:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey SCC, listen to this...was at Area 4 garage today shooting the breeze while my car was there.

The garage guy tells me about the NYFD--their union filed a suit against the city because they were only putting 3 men on trucks instead of 5 or whatever, a clear violation of their contract.

They do not have a CURRENT contract either. So the judge rules that they lose their case because it is not a violation of their contract BECAUSE THEY DON'T HAVE ONE!!!

Garage guy says, (very wisely) that if it happened in NY, it is only a matter of time until it happens in Chicago.

So one-man cars, etc., whatever they want to violate in our old contract, WE WILL LOSE THE FIGHT!!!

Don't know if you should publish this because who wants to give the city any ideas??? Do you believe this is possible????

Just wanted you to know.

Also, the guy said that the city laborers SIGNED A TEN YEAR CONTRACT!!! That the city is now trying to reneg (sp?) on!!!

Will it ever end????

Signed,
F--for F*cked!

2/13/2009 04:34:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I say we send it to the kid....

Or at least have every CPD copper send a copy via police mail to IAD...what are they going to do then????

2/13/2009 04:36:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hot off the press,,,
Jag-Fed called in the Feds to investigate this, told them it's a major counterfeiting case and has strong implications on a breech of Homeland Security. Heard he’s going to personally escort the document to DC for analysis… more to follow.

2/13/2009 04:41:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I heard that someone doctored the newest "Special Bulletin" to include Weis in the listing of Police Impersonators.

2/13/2009 04:46:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Bravo!

2/13/2009 04:50:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I.ve been on for over 20 years. When will the very few idiots, stop doing stupid things (the Fax, The phone call to FBI, tow trucks etc). These guys/gals are bringing this sh&t on to themsevles and nobody else to blame but themselves. They need to think of the consequences before they do something stupid. Enough is enough. The Mayor hates us. The Supe hates us. The public hates us. the rank & file hates the stupid ones for causing all this BS upon everyone. These guys/gals are doing some of these things for laughs, to try to embarass the department. but it's actually hurting the working coppers. Sure I do see the double standards and i'm tired of that also. But let's not feed the fire.
____________________________________

Quit your crying! There is an old saying, "Fuck em' if they can't take a joke"...

2/13/2009 04:53:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"J. Daley controlled it with a degree of incompetence but M. Daley has really accelerated and demonstrated his incompetence."
---------------------------------

Well you know, the son of a "great man" is rarely his father's equal....

In this case, we would all have been better off if both had been strangled at birth....

2/13/2009 04:58:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

And as I look back in history, it begins and ends on the 5th floor of the hall. J. Daley controlled it with a degree of incompetence but M. Daley has really accelerated and demonstrated his incompetence.

The last thing either Daley was/is is incompetent. They aren't (weren't) about running the city and county well, they're all about maintaining their power base. Chicago/Crook gov't is poorly run, but that actually increases the power of the Machine because it makes having clout and connections more important in getting what you need out of City Hall.

2/13/2009 04:59:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Christ, it's gotten like a sureal version of the "Caine Mutiny" Is J-Fed sitting in his office rolling a couple of ball bearings around in his hand and musing about stole his strawberries? Why are so many police bosses possessed of the "We have to do SOMETHING!" mentality., when in so many situations the best thing to do is nothing and leave the situation alone. Most beat coppers realize that half the bullshit situations they encounter will work themselves out with no worse results weater they intecede or just go away. Just drop it FEEBle and in three moths nobody will remember.

2/13/2009 05:00:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"The more J-Fed nitpicks such nonsense, the bigger fool he is (if that's possible)."
-----------------------------

"The tighter you grasp a handful of sand, the more slips through your fingers."

IF Shortshanks or the Stupidintendent ever read Sun Tzu, it didn't penetrate....

2/13/2009 05:04:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

IAD is chasing rainbows but J-Fed gives Cuello a pass. If they catch the person who did this, would they be commended for their good humor or suspended or worse? But Cuello gets a pass. What is wrong with the management in this department and this city? Daley really overpaid for J-Fed. He has no clue......

2/13/2009 05:10:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I've said a million times, " NO LAUGHING ON THE JOB, BOYS AND GIRLS!!"

now the entire dept is going to get sparred tsk tsk tsk

What kind of neanderthal is wasting my tax dollars on this investigation?!?! OH yea Weis! you f'n pussy who can't take a joke!

peace to all of you who have to work under this farce of managment

2/13/2009 05:11:00 PM  
Anonymous WHITEY BULGER said...

TO THE 014 DESK CREW:

DONT GIVE UP YOUR PARTNERS!!!

(to that fed-f**k)

2/13/2009 05:12:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

At the end of our CAPS meeting the other night one of my neighbors asked where he could sign up his kids for the "I wanna be a Chicago cop" program. It took a few seconds, but then everyone, cops and neighbors alike, laughed.

2/13/2009 05:16:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Kudos to the 14 year old. to fool those "idiot stupervisors" who should be held accountable and NOT any P.O.'s!

2/13/2009 03:41:00 PM

actually, in this case, the po's should be held accountable. they put him in the car, gave radio, locker room without running him by any supervisor.

2/13/2009 05:19:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Garage guy says, (very wisely)....
............garage guy sounds like he should be an attorney when he is done siting around all day with his big,greesy thumb up his ass. He sounds like he is almost as big of a tool as you are.

2/13/2009 05:22:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yet another example of the current administration having NO CLUE. I bet it's the screaming skull that has his girlfriends panties all in a bunch over this(PO in 017). When something hits this close to home, it really shows their true colors.

2/13/2009 05:24:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This is the same crew that got a CR number on every CPD cop that works for JK because someone posted a poster for his Team Spartan classes in 017 with out getting permission. Another waste of manpower cand trees. IAD is almost as bad as IPERA or whatever they call themselves now.

2/13/2009 05:27:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

J-Fed, 8 AM Channel 7 Sunday, Feb 15. Talks about gangs, SOS, and 14 yo. Set your TIVO.

2/13/2009 05:31:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Blame days in 014, the day crew consists of mostly kiss asses with less that 5 years on in 014. Good supervising lucio.

2/13/2009 05:34:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I went to 003 the day after, they had cops at the door, so being the smartass i am i told the cop at the door , hey im from 005th district here to work your traffic car. the cop got pissed and said thats not funny man! I said not funny? it's freaking hilarious.
then he told me if the Cmdr heard me she would be pissed off, to which i said fuck your clueless buger queen if she cant take a joke, oh yeah she is a joke! haahahahahaahah!

2/13/2009 05:42:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

LOL that CAPS logo makes it funnier

2/13/2009 05:49:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I was involved in a fender bender today in Niles. Guess what was posted all over their station? I laughed so hard but at the same time was so embarrassed that I didn't even mention I was the PO -PO! Is it just me or is this SAD?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

2/13/2009 05:52:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

ha i love it

2/13/2009 06:05:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Its funny, but it also a little sad. This JFRAUD and his band of civilians tools like Brust have made a mockery of the once proud CPD. Hey I got an idea, why don't you guys make another cool mnemonic for our "core values." That thing is like something you would see in a kintergarden class. P---is for police, O---is for.....$300K for this, you have got to be kidding me. JPUD please resign so I can get back to doing some work.

2/13/2009 06:06:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

thanks for the new desktop.

2/13/2009 06:10:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey IAD, relax. It's just some shennanigans. Get a Life Already.

2/13/2009 06:20:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

IAD is not really trying to find who faxed this? Say they aren't wasting tax payer dollars on such a frivolous thing?

2/13/2009 06:37:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Rio's Olympic stadium plans are great. They really know how to impress the world.

2/13/2009 02:21:00 PM
yeah and they are paying nearly $15 billion of government funding versus our $4.4 of private funds Aalready (yes, ALREADY) secured. (the city only has to ensure if in the unlikely event that these donors want their money back, the city would have to supplement it) Rio, aside from the water front, is a dump! Full of slums, drugs, and gangs! They do not even police outside of city center because the drug lords run the country! Asia just had the olympics, and Madrid's proposal is a joke. Sorry, but olympics here we come!

2/13/2009 07:01:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Supt interviewed by ABC-TV at

http://abclocal.go.com/wls/video?id=6657874

Talks of morale, SOS etc.

2/13/2009 07:02:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

http://www.suntimes.com/news/politics/obama/1429430,CST-NWS-slur13.article

UH OH!!! Now you have gone and done it!!! Sounds like one of our own made a mean comment about the messiah!!!

2/13/2009 07:13:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Eugene Roy strikes again.....today he made MW write a to/from as to why she was wearing a headband over her ears a couple of weeks ago, when the weather was in the teens and lower.

This guy is really a nut case. Gene, we're laughing at u.

I heard her say to someone regarding the harrassment, "then they wonder why we drink or we go home and eat a bullet."

Leave her alone already. In fact, leave us all alone already!

2/13/2009 07:15:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This is causing controversy for some Republican Senator. The F.O.P. needs to come out with a commercial like this.

http://www.youtube.com/watch
?v=_3mw49mk_x0

2/13/2009 07:21:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

NorthSide said...
I did it. I confess. I'll never do it again.

I snuck behind the desk at 014 while the crew was preoccupied with their duties.

Perhaps da WEISel can send out one of the "hotties" from Fort Fellatio to punish me with a riding crop.


Great post John! You haven't lost your edge..

J.O'D, an old wheel gunner...

2/13/2009 07:45:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I can't believe Supt. "Waterhead" was on Fox news again, being interviewed for the 2nd time this year, about NOTHING. Citing crime statistics clearly connected to a frigid winter and insinuating that "his incentives paved the way for crime to decrease substantially." Hey Waterhead, just shut up already, will ya? No one is buying it, not even Daley. See ya at your NEXT "inquisition" with Ike and the aldercreatures in the Spring!

2/13/2009 08:04:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Steroids seem to have robbed J-Fed of his sense of humor. He should learn to laugh at himself. Everyone else is !!!!!

2/13/2009 08:12:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"If you think that's funny, you should see the CSA report that some brain surgeon from 012 wrote.

According to the report, the male victim suffers from split personality disorder, among other things. He alleges that one of his "other" personalities sexually assaulted him!

I don't know what's more f*cked up. The fact that the victim was in a locked down psych ward when the beat car responded, the fact the a sergeant signed the report, the fact that the report looked like it was written by a second grader or the fact that the hospital acutually did a rape kit!

If you happen to get ahold of this masterpiece, you be the judge."

If the hospital wants a report, takes 5 minutes a give them orr anybody a report. They are documenting that he is a nut. Good job to the officer for making a report and not coding it.

2/13/2009 08:14:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey, I know we're all so smart and all, but when a hundred of you actually decide to forward it to IAD via department mail, make sure you use a brand new envelope THAT DOESN'T HAVE YOUR UNIT'S INFO ON IT.

In other words, most of those people down there don't have a sense of humor, even if WE do.

2/13/2009 08:16:00 PM  
Blogger SpankDaddy said...

"...punish me with a riding crop..."

A riding crop? Hmmmmmmm---

2/13/2009 08:31:00 PM  
Anonymous Heywood said...

OT-Good news for the Glen Ellyn PO who shot the crazy naked athlete. Not gyuilty in only one hour of deliberation in the civil trial. I said it never should've gotten to trial.

2/13/2009 09:35:00 PM  
Blogger OLD*6970 said...

"HELP IAD DO SOMETHING USEFUL"

I HAVE RELIABLE INFO FROM AN
OLDTIMER, OLDER THAN ME THAT A
15 YEAR OLD I.T. STUDENT SNUCK IN COVERALLS TO FIX THE FAX MACHINE.
WORD HAS IT HE GOES TO GORDON TECH

OTHER THAN THAT I GOT NOTHIN...

2/13/2009 09:38:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Let's chip in and send this kid to Disneyland. This humor is just great. Keep up the good work out there.
be safe

2/13/2009 09:57:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I do not find this offensive. Not at all, thank you.
But the truth does hurt. At least a little.

2/13/2009 09:57:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

So now that IAD is busy with lapa lackey lucio's conga line; will they have any agents available to do the real work?

2/13/2009 09:59:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

OT: How do we find out if we're under federal "receivership"?

2/13/2009 10:06:00 PM  
Blogger kateykakes said...

Philadelphia Officer John Pawlowski of the 35th Dist. was killed tonight in the LOD.

Please keep the family and the PPD in your thoughts and prayers. :(

2/13/2009 10:08:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Apparantly IAD feels this is more important than finding out who stole the computers from the 5th floor (isn't that the floor that IAD is on).
Get out there write those meter tickets so shortshanks and the aldercreatures can get their kickback.
Write up those cell phone violations, because you have nothing else to do.
Congratulations to the new recruits. We now have 25 more officers (1 per district).
Sorry guys you have to put up with this bullshit for at least the next 20 years!!!!!!!!!!!!

2/13/2009 10:28:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey! The Districts are so short of manpower, they are glad to welcome any help that they get. J-Fed should be happy thay somebody wants to work for him!

2/13/2009 10:32:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

That is the funniest thing I have seen in a long time. Thanks for the laugh.

2/13/2009 10:38:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I WANT TO KNOW WERE I CAN SIGN UP AND GET PAID 70K TO CHECK ID'S...
OH YEAH 14TH DISTRICT SIDE ENTRANCE

2/13/2009 11:15:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Lets see, Cuello amd O'Donnell are looking right now at about $8,000+ a month each, not even having to touch Deferred for the first 20 years, so you have to wonder, WAKE UP PEOPLE! RETIRE! ARE YOU TWO CRAZY! "OH, NO, I WANT TO SERVE THE CITY OF CHICAGO AND ITS CITIZENS TO THE BEST OF MY ABILITY! THEN PLEASE, RETIRE!!!!! NO, WE CAN'T, WE HAVE TO WAIT UNTIL WE REACH 60 FOR FREE INSURANCE! PLEASEEEEEEEE!

2/13/2009 11:23:00 PM  
Anonymous A SCC SUPPORTER FROM CT said...

Just Got Done with My Shift & Sitting in Front Of My Home Computer With a Cold Brew reading This (So Fuck You Big Bird) & Almost Spit & Large Swig Of Brew On My Keyboard I Was Laughing So Hard.

KUDOS To the Creator, Give yourself a Certificate For Honesty, A little Sarcasm & Silliness In The Shitty You Guys work In Might Be The only way You guys Stay Sane!

Stay Safe, Shoot straight & Back Up Each others ALWAYS!

Stil LMAOBT Over This One!

2/13/2009 11:23:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

RIP Philly PO. Prayers be wtih you. CPD

2/13/2009 11:24:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Anonymous said:


I heard that someone doctored the newest "Special Bulletin" to include Weis in the listing of Police Impersonators.


Better than Barney Miller and Cop Rock; if I was a comedy writer, I'd be able to say, this shit just writes itself,

2/13/2009 11:46:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

PO said---I was involved in a fender bender today in Niles....

Best not let Niles PD know you are CPD. It was posted there, not out of any sense of brotherhood.

But hey at least their corrupt Mayor got caught.

2/13/2009 11:56:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Jay Fed I had high hopes for u when u started because an FBI guy I know said you were a good guy- but after telling him what you have been doing he is fucking amazed by your moves- fuck cozzi for at least 5 yrs of his life for slapping a punk- MTF -punks who shoot and kill someone don't do five yrs in this city and now your on a witch hunt for a p.o. who sent out a funny phony certificate YOU NEED HELP DUDE- check your EGO at the door because its really clouding your thinking- your in fucking La La land! We are the laughing stock of the nation and your our fucking BOSS and your priority is to get the certificate bandit and in the mean time your girl aunt B's condo has 4 guns and a bunch of dope and the investigation is over before it was started-ARE U FUCKING KIDDING ME- I'd love to tell some more but u would have to respond to this blog for me to meet u and show u how to save this department

2/14/2009 12:14:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I don't know what's more f*cked up. The fact that the victim was in a locked down psych ward when the beat car responded, the fact the a sergeant signed the report, the fact that the report looked like it was written by a second grader or the fact that the hospital acutually did a rape kit!

If you happen to get ahold of this masterpiece, you be the judge."

If the hospital wants a report, takes 5 minutes a give them orr anybody a report. They are documenting that he is a nut. Good job to the officer for making a report and not coding it.

2/13/2009 08:14:00 PM
_______________________________
NON-CRIMINAL, documentation only, I could almost buy, but an actual CSA report? Stupid. Wrong.

We write reports if we reasonably believe a crime occurred. NOT because some goof demands a report. I don't tell them how to remove an appendix. They don't get to tell me when a report is required.

2/14/2009 12:15:00 AM  
Blogger lathrop one said...

The hell with the Uniform Allowance Check...........he should be paid for 5 1/2 hours more work than Wuss(weis) ever THOUGHT of doing. I say we pass the hat and get this kid some cash.

2/14/2009 01:48:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

PO said---I was involved in a fender bender today in Niles....

Best not let Niles PD know you are CPD. It was posted there, not out of any sense of brotherhood.

But hey at least their corrupt Mayor got caught.

--------------
I agree. I didn't have a pleasant experience with Niles PD, they let go a DUI driver that hit me. Witnesses onscene even stopped the guy from trying to flee while I was laid out.

2/14/2009 02:17:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Anonymous said...
Garage guy says, (very wisely)....
............garage guy sounds like he should be an attorney when he is done siting around all day with his big,greesy thumb up his ass. He sounds like he is almost as big of a tool as you are.

2/13/2009 05:22:00 PM

---------------
Hey dumbshit...............

Did you READ what I wrote? Pay attention...did you not understand the message? Quit hating. All of us, every city worker, are at the mercy of Shortypants. You owe me and the garage guy an apology.

The only 'tool' in the box is you. And learn to spell in your free time, okay?

2/14/2009 02:50:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

hey do you really think IAD is chasing the picture thing because they want to or because someone higher up is telling them to......

2/14/2009 03:40:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Anonymous said...
Yet another example of the current administration having NO CLUE. I bet it's the screaming skull that has his girlfriends panties all in a bunch over this(PO in 017). When something hits this close to home, it really shows their true colors.

2/13/2009 05:24:00 PM

I'll tell you that it is known to many at 35th that the skull is the one making the decisions. You'd think he is trying to make his friend JW look like a fool deliberately. JW you better wisen up and listen to us and realize that you are listening to the wrong people.

2/14/2009 04:05:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

There has been a big push lately to remove "take home" cars from IAD. This is just a way for them to jusitfy their existence.

2/14/2009 06:01:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

IAD should leave this one alone and go out and catch some real criminals. I can recall several incidents were IAD had a good case on some crooked cop and they blew it. Some of the crooks are in cushier spots then they were in before they got caught. Or is this politics as usuall.

2/14/2009 08:01:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey MW, let's see if we got this right. An exempt tells you to write a to-from because you are wearing something he thinks is wrong. So what if he is a tool. It is a stupid report. And you are gonna go drinking or bite the bullet. Get out of this line of work sweetheart. Go be a fucking social worker. This is a tough phisical job. Obviously you ain't got what it takes. Tuffen up or take a hike. We don't need the likes of you. We have enuf candyasses already.

2/14/2009 09:14:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

If the hospital wants a report, takes 5 minutes a give them orr anybody a report. They are documenting that he is a nut. Good job to the officer for making a report and not coding it.

2/13/2009 08:14:00 PM

Why would a board certiied psychiatrist need validation from an untrained PO? Why not think before you post?

2/14/2009 09:17:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"I'll tell you that it is known to many at 35th that the skull is the one making the decisions. You'd think he is trying to make his friend JW look like a fool deliberately. JW you better wisen up and listen to us and realize that you are listening to the wrong people."

It's too late for that now. The Hindenburg of Weis is already on fire, and people are staring up at the sky in horror, waiting for its inevitable crash. All the people who could have helped Weis save his job and trim back the numerous embarassments have been either been forced out, demoted, or have left on their own for greener pastures (which aren't hard to find by comparison to the perpetual "comedy of errors" under Weis's administration), leaving not much left except the clowns (sworn and civilian) of his current "inner circle" for advice and counsel. He's done it to himself, and there won't be many sad faces when the door slams on him at 3510 by order of Shortshanks. Maybe we will have the consolation prize of seeing Masters and Hamilton leave with him, that would definitely be a plus!

2/14/2009 09:50:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Had more that a few dealings with Niles both on and off duty. They were always great. Plus, check out the station, bullet proof glass and locked doors. Apparently they are not worried about offending the citizens - the way it should be.

2/14/2009 09:50:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Happy Valentine's Day. Please don't forget to buy your Wife or Girlfriend or Mother some flowers today because we owe it to them for putting up with us everyday and don't be cheap, either!

Be safe and thanks for the humor, SCC.

2/14/2009 09:57:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The only 'tool' in the box is you. And learn to spell in your free time, okay?

2/14/2009 02:50:00 AM

I spelt it the way way i intended to northsider....greesy

2/14/2009 10:36:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

HaHaHa. IAD ? Cochran, West-Givings? Affirmative actions finest couldn't catch there morbidly obese asses in there hands. HaHaHa! Catch this Wies.

2/14/2009 10:39:00 AM  
Anonymous The chicago crime family said...

Rio, aside from the water front, is a dump! Full of slums, drugs, and gangs! They do not even police outside of city center because the drug lords run the country!

Rio almost sounds like Chicago. If you would have removed Rio and inserted Chicago I would have thought you were explaining the same city.

2/14/2009 11:01:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

MW is a sweetheart. She was probably being sarcastic when she said that. IF she said that.

Roy fucks with her quite a bit, but it doesn't seem like she cares.

2/14/2009 11:22:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Kudos to the 14 year old. to fool those "idiot stupervisors" who should be held accountable and NOT any P.O.'s!

2/13/2009 03:41:00
PM......................What about the dumb po who gave him a radio or the idiot who drove with him for 5 hours. When a supervisor did eventually have contact that supervisor figured out there was a problem, SOOOOOOOOOOOO you see the Po’s are responsible. SORRY!!!

2/14/2009 12:55:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Brilliant! Give that writer his/her own TV sitcom!

2/14/2009 01:01:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am in awe of the 014th desk crew! Bravo! Stay on board the Titanic just like the musicians who together kept on playing to the end.

You are my heroes.

2/14/2009 01:09:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

IAD -start looking for some of those people who have been living outside the city for years....my sgt,, with a take-home car.. is one of 'em (rental, by the way).
If we ALL have to live in the city, then we ALL have to live in the city.

2/14/2009 01:13:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

please post the fax number so outsiders could fax it over.

2/14/2009 02:27:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Anonymous said...

IAD should leave this one alone and go out and catch some real criminals. I can recall several incidents were IAD had a good case on some crooked cop and they blew it. Some of the crooks are in cushier spots then they were in before they got caught. Or is this politics as usuall.

2/14/2009 08:01:00 AM

Like in IAD or a Chief in a sensitive position.

2/14/2009 02:54:00 PM  
Anonymous IAD Rat Squad said...

We've got this outrage all wrapped up, Mr. Superintendent.

It was a disgruntled former sergeant named Northside. They lifted prints from his #7 and #8 fingers off the FAX machine at 014. We also found saliva on your photo at the station for a possible DNA match.

This asshole is a flight risk, sir. We have unconfirmed reports that he has safe houses in Australia and the South of France.

Monday morning, we're going before the magistrate for the federal arrest warrant, also seeking surrender of his passport with no bond.

Now, about our merit promotions...

2/14/2009 03:11:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yes, the headband incident is true.

No, I did not threaten to start drinking or shoot myself.

Michelle Wantuck

2/14/2009 05:01:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

That stupid fax although funny, can't be overlooked people. It's a misuse of department equipment and has to be investigated. C'mon people, anyone with reasonable intelligence knows it has to be looked at.

No one in IAD expects it to go anywhere, but the matter has to be investigated. Get your heads out of your asses and wake up.

2/14/2009 05:12:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

It's a good thing that lots of time and money are being spent to investigate office humor, instead of Assistant Superintendent Beatrice Cuello's dope-and-gun house.

2/14/2009 07:54:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

IAD -start looking for some of those people who have been living outside the city for years....my sgt,, with a take-home car.. is one of 'em (rental, by the way).
If we ALL have to live in the city, then we ALL have to live in the city.

2/14/2009 01:13:00 PM
____________________________
People in glass houses ought not to post. Shall we post the name of the school you, your civilian passenger and your department vehicle visit on the way to work every day?

2/14/2009 07:59:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Christ, it's gotten like a surreal version of the 'Caine Mutiny.' Is J-Fed sitting in his office rolling a couple of ball bearings around in his hand and musing about [who] stole his strawberries?"

Essentially, yes.

"Why are so many police bosses possessed of the 'We have to do SOMETHING!' mentality?"

--2/13/2009 05:00:00 PM

They have to fill up the day somehow. It's much easier to select what looks manageable -- something that won't bite back -- than what's important (or, of course, incriminating.)

It's much safer to go after a Xerox-machine office joke than it is to investigate the Assistant Superintendent...

2/14/2009 08:02:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

People in glass houses ought not to post. Shall we post the name of the school you, your civilian passenger and your department vehicle visit on the way to work every day?

2/14/2009 07:59:00 PM

????????????????????????

Isn't that a SPAR? IAD doesn't do SPAR forms.

2/14/2009 09:42:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Anonymous said...
Hey MW, let's see if we got this right. An exempt tells you to write a to-from because you are wearing something he thinks is wrong. So what if he is a tool. It is a stupid report. And you are gonna go drinking or bite the bullet. Get out of this line of work sweetheart. Go be a fucking social worker. This is a tough phisical job. Obviously you ain't got what it takes. Tuffen up or take a hike. We don't need the likes of you. We have enuf candyasses already.

2/14/2009 09:14:00 AM

I don't know MW, but I know you sound like the idiot here. Whether MW made that comment or not, I think it was a generalized comment that is humorously true.

It is demoralizing to take such an inane order from someone who isn't worthy of shining my shoes let alone supervising a police unit. This type of exempt arrogance and stupidity happens day after day everywhere in this department, and it is wearing many of us down.

I gotta go have a stiff drink now, sweetheart, because I'm mentally exhausted from educating you.

2/14/2009 10:32:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Quote from Retired Commander Curtin after somebody blew up a toilet in the basement locker room in 025, circa late'80's;

"I just spoke with the Superintendent and he told me that he will send me all the toilets I need, because he knows I'm doing a good job here!"

Yeah, right on, JAG BALLS!

NOTE to 014; I don't remember anything!!!

2/15/2009 12:45:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yes, the headband incident is true.

No, I did not threaten to start drinking or shoot myself.

Michelle Wantuck

2/14/2009 05:01:00 PM
Can you believe the Commander expects YOU to be in uniform? You people from 009 are ridiculous. Only a fucking retard would be out of uniform in front of the Commander and be pissed that he called you on it. Your lucky you didn't get a spar.

2/15/2009 05:28:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

So did the kid get his copy. Way to go kid!


This kid is a criminal with an arrest record, that keeps growing, and at the time of the incident in question had two warrants for his arrest.

The only answer for all of this is to replace the Command staff at 003 District. Replace the Capt's and move the Lt's and put the commander and all the house CATS back on the street.

That is the right thing to do, well House Cats, that isn't going to happen on this Police Department. So good job making all the real Police look like $*!t....

2/15/2009 08:47:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"I gotta go have a stiff drink now, sweetheart, because I'm mentally exhausted from educating you.

2/14/2009 10:32:00 PM"


Make that a double, because, after you realize the knucklehead is educationally impaired, you'll be that much more exhausted.

2/15/2009 09:59:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"and IAD is leading the charge to eliminate humor from the hallways and keeping the jokes where they belong - running the Department."

AWESOME

2/15/2009 12:39:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Anonymous said...
So did the kid get his copy. Way to go kid!


This kid is a criminal with an arrest record, that keeps growing, and at the time of the incident in question had two warrants for his arrest.

The only answer for all of this is to replace the Command staff at 003 District. Replace the Capt's and move the Lt's and put the commander and all the house CATS back on the street.

That is the right thing to do, well House Cats, that isn't going to happen on this Police Department. So good job making all the real Police look like $*!t....

2/15/2009 08:47:00 AM

j-fed has no clothes crump is not going anywhere, neither is ellyn schmitz, peterson,leo or tobias sorry the emperor has no clothes!

2/15/2009 12:54:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

2 masters degrees and 50 or 60 out for Sgt equals....educationally impaired and retarded. I wish I was that educationally impaired.

I don't think it's real healthy to dwell on someone else's headband. Even the headband offender has moved on.

Because im such a dick, i told her that someone posted that she was pretty much stupid on the blog and she laughed and said something like "if the're talking about me, they're leaving someone else alone."

So much for trying to hurt someone feelings.

On to the next...

-DM

2/15/2009 07:10:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Years ago we had an idiot boss in bomb/arson who would keep a log of minor mistakes in the inventory books...then gig people over them...the GIG book disappeared..along with his coffee cup...a MAJOR investigation was started...complete with crime lab personnel...and threats of criminal prosecution, firings, etc...ALL THIS SHIT IS NOTHING NEW.

2/15/2009 09:43:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Because im such a dick...

On to the next...

-DM

2/15/2009 07:10:00 PM"



You'd be the authority on knowing who you are.


Did you mention to her that you were the 'someone'?

2/16/2009 02:21:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

That stupid fax although funny, can't be overlooked people. It's a misuse of department equipment and has to be investigated. C'mon people, anyone with reasonable intelligence knows it has to be looked at.

No one in IAD expects it to go anywhere, but the matter has to be investigated. Get your heads out of your asses and wake up.

2/14/2009 05:12:00 PM

Holy fuck!!!!Someone with common sense....Im sure you have more than a couple of years on the job..

2/16/2009 11:07:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Did you mention to her that you were the 'someone'?

2/16/2009 02:21:00 AM"


He mentioned it to you, so the answer is 'YES'.

2/17/2009 09:34:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ah infernal Repairs Department.....couldnt find their ass with their hands in their back pockets. Fuck US?????? no pal fuck YOU.. KMA IAD. jodys bitch boys

2/18/2009 12:00:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

the ONLY useful thing IAD could ever hope to do is DISBAND. Worthless check collecting scum sucking goofy petty asses but really nice guys.


SCREW IAD. if you do sleep at night MAKE SURE ITS WITH ONE EYE OPEN

2/18/2009 12:02:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh and who can forget the criminal investigation started by an aspiring boss against detectives plugging in their electric typewriters in the city outlet up in the area's. Or another, who spar'd an officer for "misusing" a miscl card by taking notes on the back, in the course of making a GOCR. The list goes on and on...and what do they have in common? They are Boss's with NO COMMON SENSE. Seems to be a recurring theme on this job! These are old incidents, but see if you can "name the boss." They've long since retired.

2/18/2009 01:46:00 PM  

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