You'll Put Your Eye Out Kid

Rahm had a front row seat to the mayhem we see day in and day out:

• Hundreds of teens gathered in Hyde Park to party as Mayor Rahm Emanuel looked on and Barack Obama’s motorcade pressed through the crowds.
  
  Nearly 400 teens came out Tuesday night in a much toned-down repeat of last year’s “Halloween Purge,” where more than 1,000 kids from across the city came to hang out, some of whom got into fights and tore up parts of the neighborhood.
  
  Wentworth District Cmdr. Crystal King-Smith said the worst issue this year was kids shooting at each other with BB guns.

Really? Shooting each other with BB guns, in full view of Rahm, Sparklefarts and the police? They're lucky that Rahm;s detail or the Secret Service didn't blast them. And the little angels acted exactly as you'd expect them to:

• Emanuel took in some of the mayhem when he unexpectedly showed up around 7 p.m. to eat dinner at A10, 1462 E. 53rd St. Volunteers on the street said the teens quickly noticed him sitting in the window of the restaurant.
  
  “They were making faces at him and crowding around the window,” Julie Less said. She said he left quickly and quietly after his dinner at 7:45 p.m.

Of course he did. There were no union leaders to motherfuck and no retirees to screw over. Why would he stick around? And the evening progressed in high style:

• Shortly after the mayor left, Obama’s motorcade drove down Lake Park Avenue at 8:15 p.m. on its way to an event for his foundation at the Museum of Science and Industry. His appearance added energy to the restless crowd, which set a fire in a dumpster behind the BP gas station at 5130 S. Lake Park Ave.

An appropriate representation of his presidency if we do say so ourselves:

• The neighboring McDonald’s, which had been a focus of trouble with teens last year, closed early this year, which King-Smith said helped keep the teens from gathering in too large numbers in a single spot. She said it was still a challenge to control the crowds, and teens were making 911 calls elsewhere in Hyde Park to draw police away from where the teens wanted to go.
  
  A party on the Midway Plaisance organized by 4th Ward Ald. Sophia King and 5th Ward Ald. Leslie Hairston meant to draw teens away from 53rd Street apparently flopped, failing to attract more than a handful of teens the entire night. Volunteers said teens refused to get on the buses and shuttles meant to ferry kids to the party on the Midway.
  
  Police reported recovering as many as eight BB guns, and many officers said they were on edge the whole night because many of the BB guns looked like real guns, and several teens were brazen enough to shoot at each other in front of police.

Stay classy South Side! Keep reminding everyone about the high taxes they pay to keep you clothed, fed, and housed so that you can produce.....what exactly?