Saturday, December 01, 2018

Hockey Pucks?

  • To prepare for an active shooter, faculty and students at Oakland University are arming themselves — with hockey pucks. The idea of using the quirky self-defense tool grew out of a training session Police Chief Mark Gordon led in March for faculty members on what they should do if a gunman enters their classroom.

    A participant asked what people could bring to campus to be better prepared in case they need to fight back. The university has a no-weapons policy.

    Gordon's advice? Be ready to throw something — anything — that could distract a shooter, even a hockey puck, as a last resort if fleeing or hiding aren't an option. "It was just kind of a spur-of-the-moment idea that seemed to have some merit to it and it kind of caught on," Gordon said.
A regular schmo can throw a fastball at about 40 to 50 MPH. Inaccurately. And they forgot the most important piece of equipment:

That would make it quicker....and you could use the stick as a weapon afterwards.



Anonymous Anonymous said...

You certainly won’t want to hear , he shoots, he scores!!!”, though.
(A little dark humor )

12/01/2018 12:11:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

$20 says a majority of these limp wristed, gender studies soyboys couldn’t throw a puck 10 feet without injuring themselves in the process.

12/01/2018 12:38:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

It's Commie-fornia, SCC!
What do you expect?

Just think...
The progressives and liberals are fleeing
the deeply shit-through bed known as California
and spreading their seditious, treasonous,
hateful poison to other western states.

Beware the bright and chirpy, faux-friendly,
head full of bright and shiny ideas m/fer who appears
suddenly out of nowhere...

"Where are you AND your bright ideas from?"



>SNATCH! Fold... Twist... Crunch!<

"Not so fast there sport...
Stay a while and let us visitate
with you for a spell."

12/01/2018 12:43:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Only the liberals who run colleges could come up with an idea like this.
Remember many colleges had unarmed campus police at one time.

Retired Ol’ Sixgun Sarge

12/01/2018 01:21:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

If you are in a Classroom and a Active shooter is in the building. Grab a chair or a
Desk and throw it at the POS dont be a lamb Fight back.

12/01/2018 01:47:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think I'll keep my Colt .45

12/01/2018 01:48:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

If you notice, each hockey puck had a serial #. Gps. Liberals use fear and their own anti-constitutional laws to keep track of their constituents every move.

12/01/2018 02:30:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Unless the students and faculty had names like Hull, Makita, Gretzky, Orr or Crosby the poor shooter would die laughing...

12/01/2018 02:32:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Just Black hockey pucks being sacrificed to stop the gunmen. Why no white pucks? It's racist, BPM,BPM,BPM black pucks matter. Stop the racism send in the white pucks.

12/01/2018 03:09:00 AM  
Anonymous Phil the Thrill said...

I'm partial to aluminum baseball bats

12/01/2018 04:17:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I thought Cocks not Glocks covered this.
When the gunman comes in you are supposed to throw dildos at him.
0bama invited them to the white house so it must have been a great idea.

12/01/2018 05:30:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Uh oh, city gonna ban those too?

12/01/2018 06:02:00 AM  
Blogger stash the polski guy said...

this moron needs to turn in his gun for a six puck.

12/01/2018 06:14:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The liberal left. It's time to thin their herd, doing to much damage to America.

12/01/2018 06:27:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Puck heads.

12/01/2018 07:05:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The folks in Englewood want this for the police too. Stop those police shootings.

12/01/2018 07:06:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I will bring a new idea to campus. They have a no weapons policy. Why are they worried about an active shooter? If they have a no weapons policy, why are they weaponizing hockey pucks or anything else? It is a question for the philosophy department chair to discuss with faculity and bring forth to the academic senate for consideration. Why are we weaponizing hockey pucks or anything else in view of our intelligent declarations we have a university no weapons policy? They give diplomas to these students, university trained idiots who then get jobs where I work and bring their stupidity to my work place disgusting the seasoned workers with such stupidity. The chief needs to be the sound mind there; if that is possible,

12/01/2018 07:19:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"It's for the children,If it saves just one child its worth it"!!

12/01/2018 07:30:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ah you just have to love those liberals with their stupid ideas and a great way to protect those snowflakes!

12/01/2018 07:35:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oakland. Go figure

12/01/2018 08:09:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Just walk around with a chiefs jersey and some hanson brothers glasses and the shooter will not target you. Tell them your from the iron league and you don't want any of that stinkin root beer. Hey, the machine took my quarter.

12/01/2018 08:25:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think a lot of those pucks are going to be
chalked up as "lost by student" at the end of
the school year

12/01/2018 08:35:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sounds like Gordon is a native of Canada. Or a hockey puck himself. Bringing a knife to a gunfight was bad, but...

12/01/2018 08:43:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

So can we add thrown hockey pucks to the list of dangerous weapons...

12/01/2018 08:56:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Hi! Is that a hockey puck in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?"

12/01/2018 09:02:00 AM  
Blogger SpankDaddy said...

Californians. 'Nuff said.

12/01/2018 09:03:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

OU coach Q is available!

12/01/2018 09:05:00 AM  
Blogger Cuthbert J. Twillie said...

Yeah, well, the Hockey Puck throwing students will be shit out of luck if the gunman is also a Goalie.

Dumb ideas... just leave it to a liberal. They've cornered the f--kin' market.

(If 'stupid' was money, liberals would all be billionaires!)

12/01/2018 09:08:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


12/01/2018 09:10:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Git da puck outta here!"

12/01/2018 09:30:00 AM  
Blogger I Fart In Your General Direction said...

The dumbing down of society accelerates unabated.

Hopefully “Toxic Masculinity” doesn’t conflict with the hockey-pucks-as-weapons SOP’s. That would be quite the amusing conundrum.

12/01/2018 09:30:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

If your life is so important, why not have armed security or police officers in every school in the United States ??????

12/01/2018 09:42:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Come on chief have the guts to say only a gun will stop the active shooter. arm the teachers with GUNS. Depending on school many of the students are already armed.

12/01/2018 09:44:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Why would any sane person bring a hockey puck to a gunfight ?
Rules in society are designed to provide advantage to chosen parties and reinforce the power monopoly of the state.

12/01/2018 09:55:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

typical d-rat behavior (tdb)

12/01/2018 09:59:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Worked for Oddjob in Goldfinger...why not!

12/01/2018 09:59:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Let’s not forget that in the whopping amount of time she was here she still hooked some1 up to Sgt. Effectively screwing over a person who worked for their promotion.
Unless Doug Wilson in his prime is firing off slappers this is another ridiculous law enforcement “solution.”
Let’s call Johnny Mac and see if he’ll teach the kids to throw tennis balls at the AS. No? Okay
Hockey pucks........Unreal

12/01/2018 10:02:00 AM  
Blogger BirdsnBlooms1 said... of fruits and nuts. What the puck is wrong with them?

12/01/2018 10:08:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

“$20 says a majority of these limp wristed, gender studies soyboys couldn’t throw a puck 10 feet without injuring themselves in the process.”
Hilarious, and so true, what’s even worse that I see than now at the roll call, soyboys. Hahahahaha

12/01/2018 10:41:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

A hockey puck? Seriously who comes up with these dumb ideas? ACLU? soros? flaker?

There is nothing like a 45 cal round to protect your family.
Just a few more years and I am outta here.

12/01/2018 11:01:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Most campus security I've encountered would tell you to get the puck out of here.

12/01/2018 11:14:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

better option,those lawn darts we used to play with.20-30 of those slung at you at the same time followed by hockey pucks might run him off.

12/01/2018 11:21:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Just don’t ice it!

12/01/2018 11:25:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Did they give them a hockey stick too. A good slap shot off a hockey stick will do more same than throwing the pucks

12/01/2018 11:42:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Peter puck would be proud.

12/01/2018 11:44:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

the a-hole that came up with this IS a hockey puck. nod to don rickles.

12/01/2018 11:49:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Don Rickles - “Who’s this hockey puck”?

Liberalism is a disease.
I surprised Home Alone is still being aired.
When all the guns are gone, protect yourself Kevin McAllister style.
I like the swinging paint can defense.

Why does it have to be a hockey puck?
That’s insensitive and not inclusive to those who;
- carry their Instagram cellaphone in their throwing hand
- can’t throw
- are unfamiliar with the limited seasonal sport and prefer their choice of sporting apparatus
- find it’s shape, colour to be demeaning and appropriating

I wonder if Univ of Oakland Police Chief Gordon workshopped that idea with Oakland PD Chief Granny Ann “I’ve been everywhere man” Clampett-Fitzpatrick

California dreaming.
I fling poop in your general direction.
It’s natural, sustaining, renewable, biodegradable and a’plenty.

Rather than spending money on commie activist crank instructors and resistance rallies the UO faculty relies on donations and the sale of hockey pucks for the installation of classroom door locks.
What a world.
What a world.

12/01/2018 12:10:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hockey puck. Why not beer bottles or frying pans.

12/01/2018 12:25:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

If they're deployed, they have to complete a PUCK YOU report.

12/01/2018 12:31:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Boy these assholes really fucked up America.

12/01/2018 12:37:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Just knew the comments would be hilarious.

12/01/2018 01:21:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Back in 83 I could throw a pig skin a quarter mile

12/01/2018 01:49:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Just to clarify, Oakland University is located in Metro Detroit about 15 miles from the center of downtown Detroit.

12/01/2018 02:31:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This crazy idea originated with and is funded by the OU faculty, not the students. Didn't they realize students may become the equivalent of pop-up targets on the shooting range? Pepper spray makes more sense.

12/01/2018 02:54:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I have my concealed carry hockey puck that looks just like a .380 Auto. I feel pretty safe with it.

12/01/2018 03:21:00 PM  
Blogger timmyp34 said...

Warriors... come out and playay...

12/01/2018 03:44:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I always liked to have a poison Ivy bush handy.

12/01/2018 03:59:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Never underestimate human stupidity. There is no shortage, especially these days. We live in the golden age of stupidity. I see proof every day. Hockey pucks eh? I still would take a good working firearm to stop an active shooter.

12/01/2018 04:45:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Everyone knows what happens when you bring a hockey puck to a gunfight!

12/01/2018 05:05:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


The one former Custodian Lady who
had a knotted black knee high sock with
three golf balls in it...

We're quite sure that such would
never arouse much notice to the typical
hard-head/mind-locked m/fer until:



And she was a B I G G I R L
and strong as any man so ANY
m/fer running up on her expecting
an easy time of it?

>CFD sirens wailing in the distance and closing<

There lies a m/fer with his noggin lumpier
than Aunt Granny's holiday gravy...

Damn right he's gonna stop botherin'
what he's botherin' and frantically
make acquaintance with each new knot
upside his head.

From "Hah, gotcha!" to OOOHHH SHIT! OWWWW!"
in the twinkling of an eye...

We do love the sound of turn't tables,
frantic flailing and screams of pain
and anguish of bad peoples an' folkses...

12/01/2018 05:10:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Not to worry. The school has a no weapons policy which I’m sure extends to the campus grounds also. How is a shooter ever going to get to shoot if he isn’t allowed to bring a weapon into the school or on school grounds? Those people just aren’t thinking.......

12/01/2018 05:14:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

It's not California, it's Michigan.
The state is pro gun, pro CPL, has the Castle Doctrine.
It's the goofy liberal colleges that are the problem.

12/01/2018 05:16:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Throw a hockey puck at a gunman? Sounds like a horse hockey of an idea.

12/01/2018 05:24:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Stupidity- yes plenty to go around twice in general society. However, this idea was hatched by faculty members in "academia," the brightest and most knowledgeable among us. You know, the ones who enlighten our college students in the wonders of socialism, toxic masculinity, and the existence of 60+ genders.

12/01/2018 07:39:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey crazy people, the liberals have hockey pucks, the right is armed to the teeth.

12/01/2018 08:39:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Anonymous said...

Worked for Oddjob in Goldfinger...why not!

12/01/2018 09:59:00 AM

"Hard Hat" took on an entirely new meaning...

What's to be concerned about when a short
and beefy Asian dude flings his Derby at you?

Actually... We remember a Copper who reinforced
his round crown with a padded piece of 5/8" plywood.

"So if somebody sees me hitting some asshole
with my hat..."


Just some more funny shit we picked up
during our Police sojourn.

12/01/2018 08:48:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Liberalism. Some day someone will find a cure for the most destructive disease ever to affect mankind.

12/01/2018 09:38:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I play beer league at Johnny’s Ice House and have a pretty decent slap shot. Not sure about taking out an active shooter with it though?! Lucky just to get it on goal under pressure.

12/01/2018 09:46:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Stupidity- yes plenty to go around twice in general society. However, this idea was hatched by faculty members in "academia," the brightest and most knowledgeable among us. You know, the ones who enlighten our college students in the wonders of socialism, toxic masculinity, and the existence of 60+ genders.

12/01/2018 10:11:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Maybe throw them at the Blackhawk goalies, they can use some extra practice stopping pucks.

12/01/2018 11:18:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Whatever happened to good old fashioned Chinese throwing stars?

12/01/2018 11:20:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wish I would have thought that. Just think of all the liberal college campuses I would have been invited to speak.

12/02/2018 08:35:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Was hit with a 60 +mph slapshot and all it did was piss me off !

12/02/2018 08:43:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


See, I told you all years ago these Demo-Libs are all effin nuts.

12/02/2018 08:44:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Nothin new here from the Soy-Boys of Kremlinfornia.

12/02/2018 08:46:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I truly hope they reach out to the CPD Hockey team to advise and coordinate slap shot training.

12/02/2018 10:38:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Are you allowed to pull the shooters jersey over the muzzle or is that a use of force violation?

12/02/2018 02:59:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Black pucks matter.

12/02/2018 04:10:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

used to be the great sacrifice of sending your kids to college was rewarded with produtive citizens for kids. college today should be seen as child abuse. all your doing today is spending a fortune to poison your kids mind to common sense and logic by the aged hippys in the kommie production and indoctrination centers. planet bizzarro!

12/03/2018 12:19:00 AM  

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