Look Poor - Avoid Victimhood
This article is written as a spoof, but there might be something to it:
August 11, 2025: Oakland Police advise residents to “appear as poor as possible”
Residents of Oakland, California are being urged by police to pursue degrees in psychology in order to ward off violent attackers.
“The real victims are the people who, because of their dire circumstances, have been pushed to violate the law,” said a spokesperson for the Mobile Assistance Community Responders of Oakland, or MACRO.
“And we believe we can better serve this community if more of those being attacked know how to provide professional psychiatric help at the scene of the crime, in real time.”
In 2023, police urged residents of crime stricken areas to use air horns to try to scare off attackers and alert their neighbors to a crime occurring. But last year, Oakland residents voted to outlaw air horns after it caused psychological distress to the attackers.
Instead, those being attacked should start by sympathizing with the attacker in order to gain rapport. For beginners, it’s best to start by telling an attacker that you appreciate how frustrated they must be, or even to offer them some food or hot tea.
That airhorn thing is legit, but the rest....
Labels: out-of-state, sarcasm AND silliness
posted by SCC at 12:01 AM
30 Comments:
There is nothing wrong with Oakland that cannot be solved with 10 MT at 5,000 feet AGL.
A similar occurrence would solve Chicago's problems too.
Just don't look like an elderly Asian Woman. They will beat your ass anyway.
BJ gonna sue Univision for not providing basic security for that news crew that was robbed while doing a story on the massive increase in robberies.
"That airhorn thing is legit, but the rest...."
Only if that airhorb is packed full of rock salt.....
Procedural Justice for attackers?
Whether this story is a spoof or not there are plenty of stories coming from California, Oregon & Washington that point out the lunacy of the residents and the politicians living there. To be specific most of the craziness comes from the areas of the coastal cities. Residents from the eastern and conservative counties are working on plans to secede from these states and to join neighbor states. Some scientific studies should be done on why most of the liberal lunatics live near the coast. Could it be the gravitational pull of high tides, low tides, the salt air or could China & North Korea be in submarines in the ocean aiming “lunbeams” at these areas?
Kalifornia, need i say More?
I prefer the sound a .357 air horn makes.
Im so glad I don't live in a democRATic liberal shithole and don't have to put up with this crap. Fuck the criminal.
OMG, could the lefties in California be any dumber? They appear to believe that the ridiculous policies their chosen politicians put in place are completely divorced from the results of those policies they live with every day! So a couple of thugs try to mug you at gunpoint or knifepoint and your response should be to offer them tea? You, the victim, are supposed to try to get to the root cause of their desire to rob you? I’m not a doctor, but I have stayed at Holiday Inn Express so I can reasonably conclude that they are robbing you because they want money and you appear to have some. It doesn’t matter WHY they want money - though probably it is to buy drugs - you, the victim are expected to show compassion for the thug who is clearly indicating a willingness to shoot or stab you if you don’t pony up some cash.
Honestly, these people deserve to live in the hellholes they have created.
California Chuckleheads.
Soon Oakland residents won't have to try to "appear" poor.
And they wonder why teams are wanting to leave the state. Victims need to just capitulate and BOHICA. Now seeing as the people suffer from dumbfu**itis, they need to stay put and leave the red states alone.
California’s dreamin on such a winter’s dayyyyyy….
Are the costumes tax deductible?
Checking out the new migrant flophouse the Chicago Lake Shore Hotel is hoping to host 300..
More info about our room
Our Standard Double Room comes with two large double beds comfy bedding and Plush Pillows, and is a great place to establish your home away from home while staying in the beautiful City of Chicago. Each room comes standard with Free WiFi, Coffee Machines, 37”Flat Screen TV, Free Cable Channels, telephone, radio alarm clock, AC, Heating, Hairdryer and and Iron and Ironing Board
https://www.chicagolakeshorehotel.com/rooms/standard-room/
How's that 3 y-o migrant death on the bus investigation going
with 300 illegal immigrants getting BJ upgrades to the Lake Shore Hotel with free in room coffee makers, ironing boards and big screen hdtv which Chicago Police district flophouses will have mattress space vacancies? I dont need to spend the night just looking for a place for a couple hours where you can just take your phone off the hook to check out. Also have they put in the black velvet black lite paintings yet what about concierge and can we still get validated for cpd valet parking if we only stay one hour Asking for a homie
Wheres juicy smollett the black gay hate crime hoaxer is the case quietly swept under the rug yet
still no manifesto from the tranny christian school shooter in Nashville either
No death report on the 3 y/o migrant girls death on the bus and CPD brass has cops kicking rocks miles away from sox park shooting
with 100's of kids still missing burned to a crisp the Maui fire death toll remains unchanged as if they havent found any more remains not a single soul..The WalMart greeter in the whitehouse didnt even lower the flag for the government fuck up
U of I hands out rape whistles. No joke
Sounds like former Hyde Park University of Chicago students or residents are now living in and running Oakland. They get beat up and robbed, the police catch the thugs and the residents will not sign complaints, but want their property back. They sympathize with the poor thugs
Gen Ripper was right about fluoride in the drinking water. Just took a couple of generations to take full effect.
The staff at The Old Country Buffet resorted to using an air horn to scare me away from the steam tables.
When that no longer had the desired effect, they took to blasting me with a water hose; separating me from a smorgasbord is harder than separating two humping dogs.
Appear insane.
(Not difficult to do, as you got to be crazy to still reside in this city)
Not too insane, don't drama queen yourself into a psych ward, just crazy enough to inspire the knuckleheads to seek another victim.
Being retired had 3 of the animals approach me as someone said "act crazy" as we know they are afraid of crazy, so I started talking loud and pointing to the sky talking to the clouds they looked at me said "fuck it," turned and walked away! Were they up to no good probably but thankfully I did not have to find out!
Anonymous Anonymous said...
Wheres juicy smollett the black gay hate crime hoaxer is the case quietly swept under the rug yet
still no manifesto from the tranny christian school shooter in Nashville either
No death report on the 3 y/o migrant girls death on the bus and CPD brass has cops kicking rocks miles away from sox park shooting
8/29/2023 01:27:00 PM
And we won’t hear anything because it is detrimental to the leftist narrative. Communist controlled media will never hurt the cause.
Be a good Democrat. Save our youth from becoming lawless. Bustout Threads is a new enterprise. We will attire you from head to toe with clean, but very used garments, headwear and footwear so you look penniless, which means you most likely will not entice any of our youth to bother or rob you while in downtown Chicago or riding public transportation.
Pre-purchased attirement disguise plans make a great stocking stuffer, especially for a loved one who will be attending the 2024 Democrat Convention.
"Acting crazy" lessons, temporary face tattoos, fake facial scars and a slight splash of urine for just that right, urban aroma are each available to be purchased separately.
Come on by, get disguised, melt into the physical cityscape and enjoy the Chicago experience unfettered! You'll also be saving our youth from commiting crimes. Remember, caring for the urban youth is the responsibility of us all. It takes a village!
8/30/2023 07:07:00 AM
Im retired too but I look every fucking savage in the eyes and am 100% ready to drop the hammer on them.
Im retired too but I look every fucking savage in the eyes and am 100% ready to drop the hammer on them.
8/31/2023 08:10:00 AM
Are you properly insured? You will need it.
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