Guns Optional!

A reader who sent this in came up with that title:

• The Chicago White Sox announced the return of Chicago Public School appreciation days Thursday, where CPS families and employees can fill out an online form to receive complimentary free tickets to three upcoming home games at Guaranteed Rate Field.

They still haven't released the final cover-up report, but in case there are any actual reporters reading, here's another tip:

• We already pointed out the physical impossibility of two bullets traveling nearly a mile and landing in the same seating area.

  How about asking why the wound across Fat-Flap's belly was horizontal across the body? She would have had to have been lying down, on her side, in the aisle, for that to have occurred.

Just wondering.

UPDATE: to the unpublished dumbass - we never said a bullet couldn't travel that far. What we said was two bullets were physically unlikely to travel that far and end up in same setting section. Perhaps we should have added without the aid of a fully trained shooter and outfitted with an optic comparable in price to a decent used car?