Who Didn't See This Coming?
Chicago Public Schools students this year posted record attendance figures on the first day of school -- an all-time high of 94.1 percent showed up.
That surpassed last year's record of 93.7 percent, and continued the upward trend since 2004, when less than 92 percent of students were coming on the first day.
In related news, it was a record setting attendance year for the Taste, the 03 July fireworks, the Air & Water show and any other festival that Shortshanks could put his name on.
Since the Olympics will be awarded on 02 October, the mayor would like to take this opportunity to point out that the following events will also be record setters this year in order to impress the Olympic Committee:
Since the Olympics will be awarded on 02 October, the mayor would like to take this opportunity to point out that the following events will also be record setters this year in order to impress the Olympic Committee:
- The Chicago Marathon will have a record number of participants and fans,
- the Thanksgiving Day parade will be crowded beyond belief,
- the Macy's window displays should be spectacular,
- and the Disney Christmas Parade will be out of this world with record setting numbers of attendees from 78 nations.
Labels: sarcasm AND silliness
posted by SCC at 12:03 AM
31 Comments:
If the five rings of the Olympics, or Da Lympics in Daleyspeak, represent the five continents, shouldn't they give it to South America? It's never been held there before. They've been leaving one ring out.
I hope this helps, Rio. Feel free to use this to your advantage.
"...the Macy's window displays should be spectacular..."
I was born here. Macy's was in New York City then, and it still is now. I don't know what that is down at State and Madison anymore; it just doesn't register as being on the same planet.
That's my story, and I'm sticking to it.
This used to be one hell of a city...
Crane High school had a 35% attendance this week.
keep them happy with the silly bullshit and sheeple will forget about the little things....highest taxes,crap schools and neighborhood shooting galleries.
Stevie Wonder and Helen Keller could've seen this coming. And Helen Keller's been dead for decades.
And, again, indirect boasting as to how much money has been made from these endeavors, and yet no contract for first responders for nearly 3 years.
Keep them parkers, movers, ANOV's and impounds coming, you fuckin' sheep.
Lol! Fucking hilarious, SCC!
CPS always seems to have a year in the record books.
GOD bless ron huberman...our savior!!
Now he'll replace David Hoffman as inspector general and daley can get on with his thieving ways. Nothing to see here, move along.
I SET A RECORD THIS YEAR WITH THE LEAST AMOUNT OF POLICE ACTIVITY.
I/F
I call BS! How can you calculate a percent attendance when you only know how many kids showed up. Was there some census of Chicago on the first day of school to determine accurately how many total school age kids there are?
Crane High school had a 35% attendance this week.
... the other 65% are at home awaiting the first check from Huberman's 30 million "to protect at risk youth"
Here's the first day of school scam by CPS: if any student does not show up on the 1st day, they are then placed in an "Unenrolled" status. The CPS then only counts those who notifed the school they wont be there on day one, THEY DO NOT COUNT THOSE WHO ARE "UNENROLLED." Then those who missed day one and are "Unenrolled: status must re-enroll when they eventually do show up. UNENROLLED kids, even though they did not show up, are not counted as absent....Nice way to scam federal money...sounds like fraud....For true absense numbers, we should be asking, how many kids where placed in "Unenrolled" status...that's how we'd get a true number of attendance on day one...
somebody paid a pretty penny for all the back to school signage.
(probably us tax payers)
but these signs are all over the place. you would think they can clean their shit up after there promotion campaign.
94.1 percent attendance? I wonder who all the mutts I see on the streeets, alleys, porchs, etc. are?
They sure the heall aren't in school.
I demand a recount!
I would say an honest count is probably about 62%.
But I forgot, Chicago, under the Daley Crime Family's thumb, doesn't know the meaning of "honest" anything.
Good first day figures.
Unlikely that graduation rates will be as encouraging.
hey Daley, get on the News and EXPLAIN this, it's OUR tax-dollars going to waste, not your money. Quit running out of town like a Pussy every time something negative about your Administration comes out.
In Daley's kitchen, the cooks starve. Since the police is preparing everybody else's greenmeal($) Daley has found a way to not allow them to eat from the pot. It seems funny that one of the only departments that GENERATE revenue is left holding the empty bag!
This one will be a shocker. It only goes to show how far a briefcase full of cash can go to infect the popular opinion. We're #1? lol.
http://www.askmen.com/specials/top_29_cities/
also set a record for the least amount of officers working in the patrol division since the early 90's----
CPS had record attendance on the first day..but how about every day subsequently? How about those drop-out rates and percentage of those going on to college..why aren't those numbers put big and bright on the news?
I'm a retired P.O who works for C.P.S in the security and attendace office.The entire attendance computer system crashed city wide the first day of school.So I dont know how they came up with this figure.
Ron Huberman is Daley's jack-of-all trades handyman. I bet he could be the Commissioner of Aviation now that he's done such a good job with OEMC, the CTA and the CPS!
He's a regular alphabet man. Hey, that's a good name for him!!! THE ALPHABET MAN!
Daley's trying like hell to keep the shootings and scandals out of the media for the next 15 days. After that, all hell will break loose. It's okay though, Obama's still our president!!!
when attendence goes up
doesn't the murder rat of CPS geniuses also go up?
I'm a retired P.O who works for C.P.S in the security and attendace office.The entire attendance computer system crashed city wide the first day of school.So I dont know how they came up with this figure.
9/17/2009 11:58:00 AM
Well lets see. Daley said we need to be higher than the 93% rate from last year so hmmmmm lets make it 94% this year. yea that sounds good!!
somebody paid a pretty penny for all the back to school signage.
(probably us tax payers)
but these signs are all over the place. you would think they can clean their shit up after there promotion campaign.
9/17/2009 09:53:00 AM
What good are the signs when neither the students nor their parents at which they are directed can read them? Just asking.
Jimmy's Red Hots (Grand/Pulaski) sold a 'Record Number' of Jimmy Dogs, said a spokesperson for the Mayor.
If Chicago wins the 2016 Olympic Bid, Jimmy will create a "Special Olympic" dog for the handicapped!
Thank you Mayor Shanks.
Anonymous said...
I call BS! How can you calculate a percent attendance when you only know how many kids showed up. Was there some census of Chicago on the first day of school to determine accurately how many total school age kids there are?
Hey, you beat me to posting the same message. You can't use last year's enrollment list, since the CPS has no idea who moved into/out of district.
I do not know what king of math the CPS is teaching, but hard to get a percentage when only the numerator is known, and the denominator is unknown.
As a homeschool mom, I was proud to NOT be a part of Daley's school news. Besides, crowds give me the heebie-jeebies.
Signed,
Lakeview Mom
"Chicago Public Schools students this year posted record attendance figures on the first day of school -- an all-time high of 94.1 percent showed up."
Yeah, this is sort of like voter turnout come election time. Let an auditor really go over the names and see how many were really there.
Or perhaps,
They're there to see how the millions are going to be invested on the "high risk" students.
High risk student attending CPS is an oxymoron.
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