Here It Be
In all its glory.Labels: we got nothing
posted by SCC at 12:04 AM
Thursday, November 11, 2010
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118 Comments:
No educational requirements in Chicago! In the private sector, he would have been tossed out on his ass!!
I don't be gettin' it? What be wrong wit it?
I'm embearised, who rote that?
that be some funny shit
Don't it make ya proud?
OK, the is be may have been a typo. However, not using a ' after his name before the s is terrible spelling. Another CPS graduate wrote the letter.
OT - Seeking assistance in locating legit jewelry stores that sell cpd star pendants. Thanks guys.
From the desk of Deputy Sup.
Ernest T Bass
Earnest T Browne
Heirnest T Brown
Ernest T Brown
All of the above
none of the above
some of the above
Im not able to be sleeping, so I be up and be browsing on the kom puter and now Im not being able to go back to sleep, I be laughing and I be sitting here thinking of other things I be doing mmmmmmmm hmmmmmmmm
how do u spell congrats, does he have spell check.
Myself and 60 others are retiring on 15 nov. Are they having cake and coffee for us? Probably not! Both commanders on mayors detail retiring....how are they going to spin this and who is getting their high paying phony jobs?
No. Fucking. Way!!!! It is amazing that this department can promote the least literate people to such a high rank. God help us!!!!
This is almost as sad as the president of the Detroit school board, Otis Mathis, being functionally illiterate:
From The Detroit News: http://detnews.com/article/20100304/OPINION03/3040437/Does-DPS-leader-s-writing-send-wrong-message?#ixzz14xw5oXXu
Oh. My. God. Ghet-toh!
---not a cop
Reminds me of the old Chicago Defender. What a fucking riot to pick up that paper and read all the mispellings and ebonical hilarity. Ernie is one big dumb motherfucker and weis is another one for putting him there.
mmmm hMMMMMM tROO dAT. Then he gowin to Maurice house for a cupple fowdeez
"Is be retiring"????? Wow, just wow!
What? is they crazy?
priceless! unbelievable, wow.
Can't read it on my 'puter. Can you print the words?
Maybe in his resume he told Buckeye he was an English major.
We're all fucked. This department is in fucking shambles. Every day I think it can't get any worse and it does. We need to just start completely over.
Hey, I be Ebonics Brown. So be leavesin me alone. I swear fo gawd ima bes finna sparrin ereryone who be on here!
It's about time! Everyone take a look at all of the departments over educated clout babies. Education is not a substitute for street smarts.
OT - Seeking assistance in locating legit jewelry stores that sell cpd star pendants. Thanks guys.
11/11/2010 01:51:00 AM
--
There's a jewelry store approximately 3200-3300 Montrose that is pretty decent. I mean "that is be pretty decent."
I have a feeling this is going to be the funniest fucking thread posted in a long time.
You guys are hilarious.
---not a cop
This is almost as sad as the president of the Detroit school board, Otis Mathis, being functionally illiterate:
From The Detroit News: http://detnews.com/article/20100304/OPINION03/3040437/Does-DPS-leader-s-writing-send-wrong-message?#ixzz14xw5oXXu
11/11/2010 03:49:00 AM
Motherfuckin' Otis. Lord Jesus hep us all!
Anonymous said...
Can't read it on my 'puter. Can you print the words?
####################################
Is got to go to da deala to pick up my Bruick. After dat Im finnin to get my compruter from Best Buys.
I love it.
I hope he becomes the superintendent.
Just think of how much fun it be!
Thanks, jfled!
Since some mid-level supervisors in several areas as well as the rank-and-file patrol officers seem to be confused with some of the correspondence of late, we have instituted a more direct form of the issuance of general orders, general superintendent and staff directives, as well as area supervisory advisories and daily operational updates.
So there is no more confusion and/or derogatory comments on this blog being directed to headquarters, senior administrative staff, or area supervisory personnel, this transition will be immediate as well as strictly enforced throughout all districts, special task forces and area staffs.
Just as we have Predictive Analysis software being Beta-tested, we will be initiating a more sophisticated, accurate and contemporary Correspondence & Advisory Bulletin System city-wide. (NO EXCEPTIONS)
CABS and its enforcement task group (five sworn positions available, grade yet to be determined) will be the new hierarchical approach that will eliminate all mis-spellings and general grammatical errors in all future directives.
Second phase of CABS will include all correspondence and supervisory transmittals (mid-2011). Third phase (mid-2012) will be all patrol reports and on-scene investigations.
General Order: All Correspondence & General Orders for 2010 and Beyond: Immediate Use of CABS
It is hereby directified to all headquarters staff and staff subordinates (as well as area supervisory personnel)to implement a higher standard of personnel communications and start using CABS or at least that spell-checker on your computer.
All ebonical self-memory cartridges, flash drives, adjunct keyboard devices and/or Blackberry devices using OS/EBON IV should be turned in immediately for proper disposal. 4G iPhones by 1/15/2011.
Anyone failing to follow this General Directive shall be removed from his or her office. No clout shall exempt such removal.
Writing more legibly instead of "dat hibbity-jibbity crap you're trying to pass off as O'Fishel notices" will be the new standard to embrace.
-MMFIC
Don't they have Spell and Grammar check down at Patrol Division?
Even if Ernie didn't write the AMFN message, it still shows the level of incompetancy that he has surrounded himself with.
Danny Dugan must be laughing his ass off.
I can only wonder if the Fledmeister read the message as part of his morning table reading and how far up his eyes rolled up into his large forehead.
Anonymous Anonymous said...
OT - Seeking assistance in locating legit jewelry stores that sell cpd star pendants. Thanks guys.
11/11/2010 01:51:00 AM
.......
The FOP shop sells them. New and Old style Stars.
Me fail English? That's unpossible!
"Excuse me stewardess, I speak jive."
Barbara Billingsley, "Airplane" great movie
Ya'll just jealous cuz ya'll don't be speaking da jive!
Go on wit yer bad self Ernie!
SOLID!!!!
That be's funny as hell scc.
I dunno...it's a typo...
It be real nice to honor da Cheef
Holy shit! Priceless.
hes smarter than a motherfucker, motherfucker!
Maybe we be cel-abratting his birfday at the same time we be cel-abrating dis dudes retiredment.
You should hear the new City Colleges Chancellor. She is all west side and at a meeting with all the City Colleges' faculty she talked about being able to get a "bachelorette" degree.
This city goes out it's way to find the most mentally challenged people to be head administrators. It's like WKRP in Cincinnati on a larger scale and in real life.
Anonymous said...
Reminds me of the old Chicago Defender. What a fucking riot to pick up that paper and read all the mispellings and ebonical hilarity. Ernie is one big dumb motherfucker
___________________________________
Does this mean that the Defender is no longer published. What a shame!
When dey gunna hire fo'dah "Cocked Hat" 'curity & Po-leece Replacement private contractors?
The hits... They just keep coming.
Please tell us that there ARE hard working, hunted on the streets, can't find any refuge TAXPAYERS besides coppers who can see the hidden hand of fuckery where mentally malnourished fools like EB, henny-penny and others are rewarded by crime king shorty with stations far beyond their actual stature?
Much to constant grief and aggravation of those who try to avoid the shit-spray from the unshrouded, rotary air circulation & cooling device?
Much effort is being expended to cause CPD to stink.
Our cause isn't helped by guys who think they're so clever, slick, clouted and untouchable as to do dumb shit that casts all of us in a negative light.
STOP FUELING THE FIRE!
Coppers are being hunted with maximum prejudice in this city.
Make yourselves small, hard and fast moving targets and this "hate the Police on an ass-itch and a pretext" nonsense will starve itself to death along with those who benefit the most from it.
Only then will the hot light of scrutiny shine on massive misdeeds of Daley Inc.
We have hammers, nails and saws a plenty among us.
Time is ripe to gather up wood to build the scaffolds...
Have the people had enough yet?
If you look closely at this letter, you will see...
The Future
(OT) Does anyone know about sgt.willie long,who via phone order to going to midway airport? Is he another ernie guy? Hope he is not a liar like old ernie!
Anonymous said...
Myself and 60 others are retiring on 15 nov. Are they having cake and coffee for us? Probably not! Both commanders on mayors detail retiring....how are they going to spin this and who is getting their high paying phony jobs?
11/11/2010 03:02:00 AM
Nice to be a patrolman and be able to get a pension in excess of $135,000 per year,another theft from "our"pension fund! Hey fat sam how ya doin?
Even a small city in Arizona figured out ernie had no clue,but tried to lie and here is another reason to work hard boys and girls,and jfled thinks this guy is the best thing since air!
ummm... his seven yaer G.E.D. in all its glory!
Prepositions? We don't need no stinking prepositions!
Sheeeeeeeeeeet.
This is almost as sad as the president of the Detroit school board, Otis Mathis, being functionally illiterate:
From The Detroit News: http://detnews.com/article/20100304/OPINION03/3040437/Does-DPS-leader-s-writing-send-wrong-message?#ixzz14xw5oXXu
11/11/2010 03:49:00 AM
I can communicate AND regurgitate, motherfucker what you be lookin' at?
Bill O'Reilly has got to get a hold of this. I think he used to be an English teacher. Excuse me, I meant he been teaching English.
11/11/2010 02:04:00 AM
That was good. It was.
You gotta problem with Ms. Bonita secratary skills?
I bet there are cops all over this country pissing in their pants from laughing so hard right now.
I wouldn't be too enthusiastic in piling on this one.
It's clearly an editing mistake - "will be" changed to "is", but the second word was not removed.
Just a Civilian (who's made similar mistakes many times - and posted some of them on Wikipedia)
You think all this tipeing and shit is easy? Fuck!
I've ceen worse.
Unbeleivable. Wether you liked Dugan or not, at least he was hard working and competent.Earnie Brown is a functionally illiterate idiot. Is he the illigitmate spawn of the "Burger Queen?" Ernie is politicing heavily with the reverands and Black politicians to be the next Superintendent when Jody leaves. God help this department if he gets it.
Anyhoo, Good Luck to Bobby Z and the other 60 or so who are to be retire on or about 15 November.
Signed
Algonquin C. Calhoun IV
Esquire, JD, Phd, LLD, LSMFT & STFU
Supreme Secretarious who handles all Official Documents and Carries the Great Seal of His Lordship and Master the Magnificence Deputy Superintendent Ernest Brown
@ 1:51am WA at 87th and Ridgeland. Behind the carwash on SW corner next to Bison lumber.
Did anyone else get the feeling, like with this and the Captains shuffle insanity, that ernie Brown is in place to fuck up to draw heat away from J-Fled.
Jewelry Store at approx. 3244 W. Montrose for CPD, CFD legit and quality jewelry. And decent prices too.
2 + 2 is 4 & 4 + 4 is more! if i can wear my uniform just maybe i can get myself a girlfriend?
Some of the catholic leaguers can't spell. Your parents wasted a ton of money and look you are no better than public school graduates. Why has no one talked about the idiot who wrote the bogus case report in 007? That was newsworthy. Should I leave the rd number?
Apperently whoever wrote this didnt get their edjumacation.
Anonymous said...
We're all fucked. This department is in fucking shambles. Every day I think it can't get any worse and it does. We need to just start completely over.
11/11/2010 07:20:00 AM
I feel the same way and I'm sure 99% of the department does too. The leaders we have today are soooo embarrassing. And don't forget about his photo op with gang leader Gator Bradly. J-Fled can't be that bright either by putting these people in command positions. Sad days.
I is be still laughing so hard.
This is the Last Straw!!!!!
Are you kidding me. We have become the laughing stock of the country.
There used to be an officer in the academy who used to say "what say you? What say you?", rather than saying "what do you say?" or "what's your opinion?"
I believe he used urbandictionary.com for this masterpiece!
The Cake is a lie !
I's don't read and rite so good...
Anonymous said...
Anonymous Anonymous said...
OT - Seeking assistance in locating legit jewelry stores that sell cpd star pendants. Thanks guys.
11/11/2010 01:51:00 AM
.......
The FOP shop sells them. New and Old style Stars.
11/11/2010 09:10:00 AM
Got one from the FOP last year for the wife. They had a 20% off sale. Looks good. They don't have the chain so, I went to a local jewelry store for that.
Well, now he can put this on his resume for that ebonics translator for the government.....sounds like a winner!!!!!!!
I don't be gettin' it? What be wrong wit it?
11/11/2010 12:43:00 AM
LMAO!!!!!
-MMFIC
11/11/2010 09:07:00 AM
You're fucking killing me man. OMG.
Now we all be feelin good.
What a stroke.
My parting gift will be some Websters Encyclopedias.
Some of the catholic leaguers can't spell. Your parents wasted a ton of money and look you are no better than public school graduates. Why has no one talked about the idiot who wrote the bogus case report in 007? That was newsworthy. Should I leave the rd number?
-----------------------------------
To Above:
That was not bogus, it was priceless and comical!
Jeweler that sells star pendants. Try danny and debbie jewlers. Office on jewelers row or dannyanddebbie.com owned by police family.
Oh God, I just woke up from having a nightmare. (Work midnights)
Ernie Brown is bucking to replace Weis if the next mayor is Danny Davis or someone who thinks that we have to have a black Superintendent. Unlike some exempts who still have a code of honor and want to restore this Department to strength and stability Ernie would want to keep up the Weis hatchet job and keep making more cuts for the new mayor. The officers and the citizens be damned.
Ernie Brown would try to out-Weis Weis and out-Master Masters. Take that to Predictive Analytics.
Why do you think there has to be MERITORIOUS PROMOTIONS?
E.B. is the poster child for Meritorious Promotions.
Think about all the good police officers over the years that were held back by Affirmative Action, Racial Norming, Standardization and just plain clout. Talk about morale killers.
Will the playing field ever be level?
There used to be an officer in the academy who used to say "what say you? What say you?", rather than saying "what do you say?" or "what's your opinion?"
11/11/2010 03:29:00 PM
--Actually, "what say you?" is correct English grammar, although a little archaic.
If he wasn't such a jagoff I'd be like hoed up muthafuckaaaaa. Instead I be like, real talk...he need a GED fo reeeeeeal. Ya knowhatemsayin'?
we're doomed.
Very funny, yet very pathetic.
How entertaining. Other than the entertainment value, does anyone know why they keep promoting these idiots?
OMG My sides are killing me from laughing so hard! Thanks SCC!
Somebody pass this online proof reader along to the peeps in the mothership.
It works pretty good.
http://www.paperrater.com/
Buck Naked
(not a cop)
OT - Seeking assistance in locating legit jewelry stores that sell cpd star pendants. Thanks guys.
11/11/2010 01:51:00 AM
--
There's a jewelry store approximately 3200-3300 Montrose that is pretty decent. I mean "that is be pretty decent."
11/11/2010 08:02:00 AM
=====
Somebody verify, because that store, Doporczyk Jewelers, had a going out of business sale about four years ago, after Bill Doporczyk passed on.
IF there's currently a jeweler at that location, it ISN'T owned by the wonderful family that had it for twenty-five years, so watch the prices. (My star came from there, but that was a long time ago.)
wow all I can say! Is wow!!!
Anonymous said...
(OT) Does anyone know about sgt.willie long,who via phone order to going to midway airport? Is he another ernie guy? Hope he is not a liar like old ernie!
11/11/2010 11:19:00 AM
Not certain if he's connected to EB but worked with him several years ago. Good guy, very fair and no ego problems.
Blogger Rich Rostrom said...
I wouldn't be too enthusiastic in piling on this one.
It's clearly an editing mistake - "will be" changed to "is", but the second word was not removed.
Just a Civilian (who's made similar mistakes many times - and posted some of them on Wikipedia)
11/11/2010 12:46:00 PM
---------
Mr. Civilian, you don't understand. This happens all the time. ALL THE TIME. This is just one thing that can be uploaded. You should see the stuff that hasn't been.
"Other than the entertainment value, does anyone know why they keep promoting these idiots?
11/11/2010 08:04:00 PM"
strategically placed incompetence is a vital part of the master plan?
"--Actually, "what say you?" is correct English grammar, although a little archaic.
11/11/2010 07:43:00 PM"
What dost thou sayeth?
What sayeth ye, pray tell?
"Will the playing field ever be level?
11/11/2010 07:40:00 PM"
no, but it's in the process of being leveled.
Somebody pass this online proof reader along to the peeps in the mothership.
It works pretty good.
http://www.paperrater.com/
Buck Naked
(not a cop)
11/11/2010 09:08:00 PM
------
Hey, Buck, you mean it works pretty well, don't you? Or maybe not so much...
ummm... his seven yaer G.E.D. in all its glory!
=------
Lots of people go to college for 7 years ... there called doctors
I was expecting some funnier comments .... you guys are WEAK !
Don't they have Spell and Grammar check down at Patrol Division?
They do. However, EB looks at all final drafts before they are sent out. No one wants to correct his errors because he fancies himself as a highly educated man and has a major ego to stroke. Any corrections are looked upon as a direct insult to him. EB is a hot head and no one wants to be the target of his anger.
Anonymous said...
There used to be an officer in the academy who used to say "what say you? What say you?", rather than saying "what do you say?" or "what's your opinion?"
11/11/2010 03:29:00 PM
--Actually, "what say you?" is correct English grammar, although a little archaic.
11/11/2010 07:43:00 PM
At least it is better than axing a question.
Brett Goldstein's predictive analytics unit have looked into their crystal ball and provided video of the retirement party on 15NOV10 and here it is:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lrNrLly1vvM
Some of the catholic leaguers can't spell. Your parents wasted a ton of money and look you are no better than public school graduates. Why has no one talked about the idiot who wrote the bogus case report in 007? That was newsworthy. Should I leave the rd number?
-----------------------------------
To Above:
That was not bogus, it was priceless and comical!
11/11/2010 05:42:00 PM
If the above post is referring to a certain comical report mentioned in a thread awhile back, I would just like to mention that last week I had the pleasure of reading such a report (that was included in a folder I received on an offender).
The arrest report started out by describing the weather conditions at the time of arrest ("a beautiful sunny day, approximately 65-70 degrees with intermittent rain"). You, darling, made my day. I had a smile from ear to ear for at least an hour or so, as did my co-workers. Your poetic and comical prose warranted placement in our arrest report Hall of Fame file.
Of course I would not mention your name or star number, let me just say that people like you, who are able to bring a little light and levity into a day usually filled with toothless, stinking offenders is much appreciated. I will keep you and your partner in my prayers that you stay safe and keep that wonderful sense of humor.
If you had an Irish brogue, I'd leave my husband and run off with you.
---not a cop
What the problem is?
Anonymous said...
ummm... his seven yaer G.E.D. in all its glory!
=------
Lots of people go to college for 7 years ... there called doctors
11/12/2010 05:07:00 AM
People in Chicago who go to school for 7 years are called 5th graders.
Anonymous said...
ummm... his seven yaer G.E.D. in all its glory!
=------
Lots of people go to college for 7 years ... there called doctors
11/12/2010 05:07:00 AM
"There" certainly not called good writers.
Don't they have Spell and Grammar check down at Patrol Division?
They do. However, EB looks at all final drafts before they are sent out. No one wants to correct his errors because he fancies himself as a highly educated man and has a major ego to stroke. Any corrections are looked upon as a direct insult to him. EB is a hot head and no one wants to be the target of his anger.
11/12/2010 06:06:00 AM
Well then, to quote The Beatles, Let It Be.
"I was expecting some funnier comments .... you guys are WEAK !
11/12/2010 05:08:00 AM"
Oh come on! Stop beatin' it! Get out there yourself! Stop feedin' off me! Get out of here! I can't breathe! Give me some air!
Anyhoo, Good Luck to Bobby Z and the other 60 or so who are to be retire on or about 15 November.
Signed
Algonquin C. Calhoun IV
Esquire, JD, Phd, LLD, LSMFT & STFU
Supreme Secretarious who handles all Official Documents and Carries the Great Seal of His Lordship and Master the Magnificence Deputy Superintendent Ernest Brown
11/11/2010 01:15:00 PM
...ok, that was funny!
What about their
'socio-economic background?'
They should get points for that.
I mean come man...
'let's keep it real.'
It sounds like Ernest T. Bass rote this Mutter Fucker!
We laugh at this dumb ass....think about what he earns, then cry.
Go figure...former commander of 003...hmmm..."is dat be why's mines repotes be getting rejectimacated by dems sahges???" Yeah, let's require a college degree. And dat ain't no hibbity jibbity...mmmm hhmmmm
Anonymous said...
Brett Goldstein's predictive analytics unit have looked into their crystal ball and provided video of the retirement party on 15NOV10 and here it is:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lrNrLly1vvM
11/12/2010 07:27:00 AM
Speaking of the SUPREME SOOTH SAYER Goldstein, I see his unit is looking for P.O.'s to apply. If he's so fuckin' good, why doesn't he already know who will be assigned there and just levitate them in? And dat ain't no hibbity jibbity...mmmm hhmmmm...fuckin' R S P's
Anonymous said...
Reminds me of the old Chicago Defender. What a fucking riot to pick up that paper and read all the mispellings and ebonical hilarity. Ernie is one big dumb motherfucker and weis is another one for putting him there.
11/11/2010 05:28:00 AM
But J. Edgar Jr. has an excuse...he has one big dumb motherfuckin' melon to fill with stupidity!!!! And dat ain't no hibbity jibbity...mmmm hhmmmm...
Anonymous said...
There used to be an officer in the academy who used to say "what say you? What say you?", rather than saying "what do you say?" or "what's your opinion?"
11/11/2010 03:29:00 PM
--Actually, "what say you?" is correct English grammar, although a little archaic.
11/11/2010 07:43:00 PM
At least it is better than axing a question.
11/12/2010 07:04:00 AM
----
that's right ... sometimes they 'pecifically axe you a question... like "'pacifically when is he be retiring?"
I think J-Fed should reopen some of D/S Brown's passed CR's. How does a man with more sexual harassment law suits than you can count get to his spot. Free Cozzi and replace him with Brown. That's justice!
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