TASER Use Up
A new report shows that Chicago police used Tasers to subdue nearly 700 offenders over 12 recent months, a dramatic increase that reflects the department's decision earlier this year to expand its use of the weapons.
[...] But that's not surprising since the department in March more than doubled the number of available Tasers -- to 660, up from 280 -- and put them in the hands of patrol officers for the first time. Previously, only sergeants and field training officers were allowed to carry them, but now all squad cars and special-deployment teams are equipped with the weapons.
In a wide-ranging annual report issued today, the Independent Police Review Authority, which investigates serious accusations of police misconduct, said the increased use of the sometimes-controversial electrical devices has not generated many complaints, however.
As a result, the agency said it has decided against investigating every time an officer uses a Taser, saying the hundreds of incidents were "overwhelming" its resources. Instead, it will do so only if allegations of misconduct are made, serious injury or death resulted, or a minor or senior citizen was targeted.
- The report also said allegations of verbal abuse by officers of the public have fallen over the last three years, to 162 from 199. Also, excessive-force complaints have dropped after a sharp increase the previous year, the agency said.
Labels: department issues
posted by SCC at 12:37 AM
98 Comments:
I think most cops just don't care anymore. Why stop that shit head and get into a F U fight for nothing? Who cares?
OT Does anyone know how that lottery is going to work for selection of applicants who pass the test? I'm assuming this means I can score very well but get skipped by the lottery for someone who barely passed? With a supposedly dumbed down test, I can only imagine what kind of trolls will be hired.
I miss the cocobolo shampoo.
Anonymous said...
OT Does anyone know how that lottery is going to work for selection of applicants who pass the test? I'm assuming this means I can score very well but get skipped by the lottery for someone who barely passed? With a supposedly dumbed down test, I can only imagine what kind of trolls will be hired.
12/07/2010 02:51:00 AM
I was on the job back in the day, before Daley was mayor. We had to take competitive exams in order to get hired or promoted. Even then, clout people were getting their test scores "doctored" behind the scenes, but the wholesale, in your face, f*cking of the best and the brightest, in terms of denying promotions, didn't begin until the Daley Crime Family's tentacles began slithering and squirming throughout the city workforce and into the county court system.
In the old days there was sort of a 'nod and a wink' attitude whereby "special people" were getting promoted, and most everyone knew who they were, but it was a small percentage of the total list of promotees. Even so, for the most part, they were able to function reasonably well at their job because they still did not promote complete morons as is occasionally the case today. I think today, the promotions are accomplished without ANY accounting for the intelligence or abilities of the selected ones, and it is obvious when you look at the quality of the supervisors they are turning out. But worse than anything is the attitude of entitlement of these dopes who don't deserve, didn't earn and are incapable of functioning at the new rank.
With this criteria established for personnel already on the job, there is no reason to suspect that the hiring process will be any more legitimate. The young guy coming on the job today with an education and a good head on his shoulders looking for a career in law enforcement would be better served steering clear of the Chicago Police Department. I never thought I would ever say that, but it's simply indicitive of how badly the Daley Crime Family has been able to destroy this Department so that he and his "friends" can function without fear of being investigated. He is truly the godfather of a huge political/criminal enterprise and Rahm is sitting in the wings waiting to take over.
OT I got in six months after taking the test. The trolls will be in their sweats after they fail tests. But we all have our talents and a troll may save your butt your first year on the job. Good luck and learn to be humble with your talents.
In the correct situations, these things are great when everything works properly and the darts hit their target.
SO ALL VERBAL ABUSE WILL BE INVESTIGATED?
BUT TASER USE WILL BE ON CASE BY CASE?
MAY BE J-FLED COULD DO THE SAME FOR THE DICKS?
U KNOW COME UP WITH A RULING ON NOT INVESTIGATING CERTAIN THINGS ANY MORE!
SOMETIMES I FORGET J-FLED HAS NO IDEA WHAT THE DICKS DO.
"WHATS A CLEARED OPEN!"
HOW ABOUT U PETERSON UR TIME IS ALMOST UP WOULD U CARE TO BE REMEMBERED FOR UR CRISP UNIFORM OR THAT U FIXED THE DETECTIVE DIVISION!
MAY BE CUELLO THE 3RD DEPUTY COULD HELP PATROL AND MAKE IT A RULE THAT WE DONT RESPOND TO NONSENSE CALL!
"POOKIE WONT GO TO SCHOOL"
"NOBODY HAS A PARKING PERMIT ON MY BLOCK?"
WHEN I THINK ABOUT IT,
WHAT HAS ANYONE AT HEADQUARTER ACTUALLY COME UP WITH THAT IS USEFUL OR HELPFUL?
OOPS I FORGOT WE HAVE THE CRYSTAL BALL UNIT WITH THE KID THAT INVENTED A AUTOMATED MENU!!!
"I think most cops just don't care anymore. Why stop that shit head and get into a F U fight for nothing? Who cares?"
12/07/2010 01:32:00 AM
*************************
I agree with you completely.....Years ago I would see alot of street stops....today you hardly see any police officers stopping anyone walking on the street. These people got the police department they wanted. I know I am not making any street stops anymore.
TASERs are the best tool we were ever given. Enough said.
Retired Commander Joe CURTIN (025)is dead!!!!!!!!!!!
Wake is Friday.
Funeral is Saturday.
At 4 p.m. the grave pissing begins
Don't taze me office!
"The report also said allegations of verbal abuse by officers of the public have fallen over the last three years, to 162 from 199."
Sure, verbal abuse has fallen. That's partly because there's A LOT less of us on the street to interact in any capacity with the public. There's also the kinder, gentler police that have been churned-out in the last 4-7 years or so that still think some of the animals that inhabit certain sections of the city are salvageable. Coupled with several other factors, a liberal Police Academy curriculum has indoctrinated recent recruits to approach and engage the savages with kid gloves. Reality hasn't quite set in for a lot of these coppers...yet.
That's where time and experience comes into play. You can beat both sides (the public and the CPD hierarchy) in a few simple steps:
STEP 1. Politely smile at and nod in agreement with every asshole that calls for police service.
STEP 2. Pretend that you actually give a fuck that 6 year old "Lil Man" is being "disrespectful" or that Uncle Crackhead done stolt the rent money. This faux compassion can be accomplished by regaling the complainants with your own tales of woe. Reference the "Black Sheep" in your family, and all the headaches he or she has caused over the years due to that gambling addiction or substance abuse problem. Always make sure to one-up them with your embellishments, and do so with a raised voice and great animation.
STEP 3. Cut them the report that they're so richly entitled to and deserving of; this serves two purposes: 1) they can't bitch that "da poleeces d'int do nuffin'", and 2) it inflates the indexes which has a tendency to make Bossholes squirm at accountability meetings.
STEP 4. Brevity is the goal of any report made for the conjured-up/imagined/fabricated bullshit that comprises 99% of calls in the ghetto...don't spend too much time or effort documenting something that, in all likelihood, never happened and/or isn't worthy of anything more than generating an RD to build-up the stats. This is the ONLY time J-Fed can be positively referenced in a policing aspect: "Cut (the report) and Run".
And remember: unless you're good at bullshitting...REALLY, REALLY good... it takes much less time to scribble out a half-assed report than it takes to try and talk someone out of one.
A video for all in the hood to see. BY CHRIS ROCK
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uj0mtxXEGE8
Only 20% of those who take the test on Saturday will end up being hired, for whatever reasones... so.. they will probably hire everyone who passes all the steps, because they are gonna hire 200 right?? LOL...
SCC O.T.
Hey you fucking chicago media cowards......
The Albert beating trial started and I was curious to see if you would show the cell phone video of the murder as much as you showed the video of a certain fat asshole beating a defenseless bartender
I quickly switched to each television outlets news to catch how they were covering it and guess what????? NONE showed it
FUCKING COWARDS!!!!!
Anonymous said...
OT Does anyone know how that lottery is going to work for selection of applicants who pass the test? I'm assuming this means I can score very well but get skipped by the lottery for someone who barely passed? With a supposedly dumbed down test, I can only imagine what kind of trolls will be hired.
12/07/2010 02:51:00 AM
Nothing new here, the last test from 2006 was the same way. You can score #1 on the test and be in this last class that was just hired on 01 Sep 2010.
With the public outcry on police shootings, would they wait to see if the guy robbing them would really shoot them before giving him their money? Would they argue with an armed thug?
Verbal abuse is down?
Well I'm retired so will someone give the public a well deserved FUCK YOU for me. Let's get those numbers up again just for Weis.
we have a guy where I work who has tazered more people than anyone--- recently I was a witness to him tazing someone and the look of pleasure on his face was disturbing--- he enjoys doing it and---- hey big fella, keep zapping people with that yellow ray gun of yours and you will be getting subpoeanad into federal court before long and then it will not be soooo funny.....
When are they offering taser training?? I was out because of surgeries last year, came back in March and have been trying since then to be trained. The few classes offered since then filled up so fast that by the time I got to elearning I was on some wait list with no luck in the end. If anyone is reading this, there are still officers waiting to be trained!!!
Last tests were basically a pass fail test and then everyone who passed was given a number based on a lottery. Had nothing to do with your test score
Anonymous Anonymous said...
OT Does anyone know how that lottery is going to work for selection of applicants who pass the test? I'm assuming this means I can score very well but get skipped by the lottery for someone who barely passed? With a supposedly dumbed down test, I can only imagine what kind of trolls will be hired.
12/07/2010 02:51:00 AM
Take the test and then hope for the best. I took the test just like everyone else did and I have no special family connections. Heck, I am not even Irish. LOL. Yet, I passed the exam and was in the second group to be hired.
No matter what is said and done, this is still the greatest job in the world.
Of course, crime is down, complaints against officers is down, etc... That is what naturally happens when the police are afraid and just decide to answer their calls and no longer be proactive.
** REFUSE TO WORK 99 **
Anonymous said...
Shooting in 016 last night, west end has fallen comrades.....
12/05/2010 12:54:00 PM
Dude! Make with the details.
The five W's.
12/05/2010 09:17:00 PM
Sorry I meant Eastside. 5500 W. Melrose, gang related. If you live east of Austin and or south of Irving you better get out while you can! Its coming this way!
Pretty hard to verbally abuse an officer when you're doing the kickin' chicken after getting tased.
lol
That's true without the backing of the command staff, what's the point? It's not worth the hassle or the pain that J-Fled does when throwing us under the bus every single time. The FOP does nothing to protect the officers.
I see Tasers as an alternate to other means of less than deadly force, and really can't see a down side to them.
Until some knucklehead uses it for sport and the video ends up on Youtube.
It also means that someone can score higher than you and get skipped by the lottery by someone, you, who scored lower than he did on a dumbed down test
Please to all let's not forget Pearl Harbor day today. That was a day that should never be forgotten. If anybody reads this and served in wwII thank you for what you have done and fighting in a war that shaped our world today.
Anonymous 025 - Sir Donkey said...
Retired Commander Joe CURTIN (025)is dead!!!!!!!!!!!
Wake is Friday.
Funeral is Saturday.
At 4 p.m. the grave pissing begins
12/07/2010 08:10:00 AM
Time to break out my Joe Curtain Xmas ornaments. HO HO HO, 30 Days!!!
Verbal abuse is down? Fucking assholes. Does that help?
Just dont do anymore work? Its that simple. Obama wants to give 3 years of unemployment to lazy aholes while we get abused out here!! Fuck them!
*BZZZZZZZT*
"Uhhhhhhhnnn... I think I shit on myself office!"
0640 What the hell you talking about Nobody got in 6 months after taking the test Feb 2006 test, the first class was in April or May 2007 over a year later and that test stayed up for years so anyone taking the other 2006 tests couldnt be hired until at least 2009 and those were the last tests taken
Off Topic:
It's official district managers are gone Dec. 31st.
How come in Deering they've already got a female P. O. with very little time on lined up to take over the district managers job? Why can't the 3 commander's secretaries handle those duties? That's how it used to be and that's when we had only 2 secretaries. Then again they were competent secretaries.
If JFed wants to get bodies on the street maybe he can look at the office in 009. There's 5 full duty P.O.'s hanging out up there. Of those 5 only 1 can get days on bid.
"Evidently, the 'no contact, no complaint' method being employed by Shortshanks and J-Fled via manpower shortages is paying dividends in an unexpected manner." -- SCC
It is as you say; it's not as though things are getting better out there.
Bureaucrats churn out all sorts of figures -- this is going up, that's going down, the other thing is slowly moving sideways. Talk, talk, talk. It's what they do. It's what they're -- unaccountably -- paid to do.
The Illinois Department of Corrections has a job title of "Chief of Performance Based Standards."
This, while violent parolees -- supposedly on state-of-the-art monitoring equipment -- run wild with pistols.
I see Tasers as an alternate to other means of less than deadly force, and really can't see a down side to them.
Until some knucklehead uses it for sport and the video ends up on Youtube.
or the guy dies, again.
Hey Sir Donkey, you must of been one of the dog asses in 025th that did nothing and Big Joe was on you because you did nothing. signed 15 years in 025 . RIP JC
Any officer who verbally abuses anyone, uses excessive force or gets involved in any Department investigation of wrong doing needs his head examined. Just keep your head down and do your job going to calls and back each other up.
OT: Does anyone know if Stanley got dumped yet? If not why?
Worked for Joe Curtin in 025. Operative word, "worked", so had no problem with him at all. His method was crude, but it's rare to see anyone go after the dogs, but he did, and with gusto. Don't make them like that anymore. RIP Commander Curtin.
8:58 PM
I didn't get your name, "anonymous". Don't get me started on that scoundrel Joseph Curtin. He was a douchebag from the git-go. Worst exempt I ever worked under and there were a few.
Under the corrupt LeRoy Martin, Curtin was constantly retaliating against me with pretextual bullshit for merely blowing the whistle on ExamScam--the worst big-city rigged police promotional scandal in U.S. history.
He was the poster boy for how clouted morons destroyed an honorable profession. Two of my best officers stated in no uncertain terms that if, God forbid, they were ever killed LOD, they wouldn't want Curtin near their funerals. The partners were later murdered and Curtin showed up despite my "hints". He was widely despised in 025.
How dare you try to defend that piece of shit.
Why should our officers get hand, shoulder, knee, etc injuries or even worse from this idiots? Use the taser. Then maybe they won't do it again.
I wish I had a taser whenever I ride the CTA and having to deal with these same morons...
Ald. Ed Burke was doofus Curtin's clout. As a lieutenant, Burke made him C.O. of the old Area 3 (Brighton Park) Homicide Unit, 3900 S. California Ave.
One late spring morning,he swaggers into the office donning a straw hat that he just bought at a sidewalk sale on Archer Ave. for only $3.95. He always hung his hat on a door hook out of view from his desk.
Some mischievous dicks checked his hat size as 7 5/8. Then they went over to the sale on Archer and bought 2 more identical hats, one a size smaller, the other a size larger. All that summer, they kept on switching the hats on the hook. Curtin would mumble that his head was getting smaller--the next day it grew larger. The dicks had to bite their tongues to keep from rolling on the floor with laughter. The buffoon never did catch on to their chicanery.
Anonymous said...
Shooting in 016 last night, west end has fallen comrades.....
12/05/2010 09:17:00 PM
Sorry I meant Eastside. 5500 W. Melrose, gang related.
Is this the six grader from Reinberg school? talk of the neighborhood tonite.
On joe Curtin
First best meeting we attended in the start of CAPS had Curtin and Carol Bialcek sitting at the head table like a bad wedding. Just remember chubby fingers full of rings and triple chins.
Anonymous said...
It also means that someone can score higher than you and get skipped by the lottery by someone, you, who scored lower than he did on a dumbed down test
12/07/2010 03:11:00 PM
Thanks dick. I'm no rocket scientist but if we're talking 6th grade level material, myself and the average tester, will all mostly fall within the same range... Making your scenario more than unlikely and leaving the window open for less apt testers to be hired before those who can read and write n' shit. It's all moot though since I now know it's pass/fail.
To "leomemorial" at 12/07/2010 11:55:00 PM:
http://www.itaser.com/
Curtin would lock up his own mother for jaywalking if they'd promote him to "DEFUTY". That's how Dumbo would pronounce "deputy".
Hey NorthSide what years were you in 025th? You must of been a legend in your own mind.
Curtin Classics said...
Ald. Ed Burke was doofus Curtin's clout. As a lieutenant, Burke made him C.O. of the old Area 3 (Brighton Park) Homicide Unit, 3900 S. California Ave.
One late spring morning,he swaggers into the office donning a straw hat that he just bought at a sidewalk sale on Archer Ave. for only $3.95. He always hung his hat on a door hook out of view from his desk.
Some mischievous dicks checked his hat size as 7 5/8. Then they went over to the sale on Archer and bought 2 more identical hats, one a size smaller, the other a size larger. All that summer, they kept on switching the hats on the hook. Curtin would mumble that his head was getting smaller--the next day it grew larger. The dicks had to bite their tongues to keep from rolling on the floor with laughter. The buffoon never did catch on to their chicanery.
12/08/2010 12:22:00 AM
Years ago was in the old "velvet Hammer"lounge on 61st and kedzie,where curtain and john corliss would hang out,they came to talking shit 1 night went out in the parking lot and looked like 2 of the 3 stooges trading blows funny shit though!
From what I saw (and heard) on the Mundelein PD tape, the officer(s) acted properly, instructing the 'tasee' to stop resisting arrest, which he obviously didn't. He was also CONVICTED for obstructing a Police officer. I don't see his federal case gaining much traction at this point.
Stories From The Gallows II Issue 05 March 1995
Radio Celebrity?:
Well Joe, how does it feel
to be a star? As many of
you know Ed Vrdoylak &
Ty Wansley read the
February issue of the Gallows
II on WJJD talk
radio. They had some
very interesting comments
to say about you. Now the
whole Midwest knows
you’re a nitwit. Joe, Eddie
wants you to call him for
a rebuttal at:
1-312-977-1160 voice
1-312-759-1160 fax
Ed & Ty are on the air
5:30 am to 10:00 am
Monday - Friday. Joe, we
don’t know if you can
count that high but WJJD
is 1160 on the AM dial.
Another Crash:
For those who didn’t
know, Joe smashed up his
unmarked squad again.
This time he couldn’t get
someone else to claim
they were driving as this
accident happened in 015.
There's no truth to the
rumor that Joe was
stopped at a red light
when a gust of wind blew
in through the drivers
window and blew one of
Joe’s ears across his eyes
and he lost control of the
squad thus striking a poor
citizen. We knew you
made an I.O.D. report and
were relieved to know it
was only a head injury.
Thank goodness you didn’t
hurt anything important.
Joe the Superintendent
wants to know what
were you doing working
on this day, it was a holiday?
Joe, why don’t you
get a life!
Bugs, Bugs, Bugs:
As everyone knows by
now several listening devices
as well as tracking
devices were found in
some 25th District squad
cars. One of our Gallows
II reporters learned that
these devices were planted
by I.A.D., with urging
from Joe. Joe if you want
to find out who does the
Gallows II you're going to
have to try harder than
that. If I.A.D. had any
brains and wanted to catch
a real bad character, they
should have bugged your
office. Or maybe they already
have. Joe do you
still sit in your office and
listen in on other peoples
telephone conversations?
We hope your not recording
those conversations.
By the way Joe we had a
long talk with the Department
of Justice and the
A.C.L.U. and they both
seemed very interested in
these bugs.
C.A.P.S.:
Joe, one of our Gallows II
reporters learned that the
Ivory Tower is upset with
your constant badmouthing
of the CAPS
program. They are tired of
you saying that no community
group is gonna tell
you how to run your god
damn district. Joe, where
did you say Deputy Ramsey
can stick his CAPS
program? Joe we were
also contacted by one of
the instructors you had
for your CAPS training
and he said you weren’t
very bright and you
weren’t at all receptive to
the new CAPS program,
but then, this wasn’t earth
shattering news to us. Another
boss who was in
your class was so impressed
with you that he
claims CAPS should actually
stands for:
Curtins
Academically
Pretty
Stupid
Story From The Gallows II Issue 01 November 1994
Worst part of the summer
is old Joe Curtin is still
with us and he definitely
is like a boil on our ass.
For that matter he’s a boil
on every ones ass.
We hear the Superintendent
is upset by the fact
that Joe has 4 law suits
pending, one of which is
from a P.O. in the 25th
District. The Corporation
Council says Joe is a
“GOOF”.
Now to a lighter side.We
came across a notice
about a 35th class reunion
party for the G.E.D. class
that Joe was in. Sorry Joe,
you’re not invited as most
of the people in the class
say you cheated on the
test.
Gallows II Issue 02 December 1994
Background Check:
A Gallows reporter is in
the process of doing a
background check on the
life of J. C. for a future
Gallows issue, which will
be titled “Joe Curtin: This
Is Your Life”. So far the
reporter says Joe led a sad
life. An interesting thing
did turn up. It was found
out that:
“C-U-R-T-I-N”
actually stands for:
Can't
U
Really
Tell
I’m
Nuts
Gallows II Issue 03 January 1995
I spy!
Well Joe the reporters at
the Gallows hope you enjoyed
your Christmas furlough,
and we want to let
you know we enjoyed not
having you around. A
word of advise, Joe you
should secure your office
better, this includes the
drawers and file cabinets
in it. One of our reporters
disguised as a janitor
made a surprise visit and
found some interesting
things. We read that you
weren't happy with the efficiency
rating given to
you by the deputy, also
Joe you lied about your
educational background!
Why didn't you list that
you were thrown out of
Lindbloom H.S. during
your sophomore year?
Further snooping by our
reporter found some of
the secret files you keep
on certain officers assigned
to 025 as well as
information on the I.A.D.
surveillances you ordered
on them. Joe, our reporter
also found several items
that we won't mention in
this article, but the U.S
Justice Department seems
to be very interested in
them. Shame on you for
having poor security in
the station and neglecting
to secure those incriminating
Gallows II Issue 04 February 1995
More I “Spy”
After the January 95 Gallow
II story about the
"CURTINGATE" break
in, we have now learned
that Joe purchased the
Door Club and promptly
locked himself out of his
own office. Joe, maybe
you should have read the
instructions first. We
were almost sure you
could read because we
found your Hooked On
Phonics course books in
the garbage not too long
ago. Perhaps you threw
the books out because
they were too hard? During
the time you had the
Hooked On Phonics
course books in your office
one of our reporters
reported hearing unusual
noises emitting from behind
your closed office
door, he was sure it wasn't
your usual snoring.
Son of Sam:
It’s a well known fact that
Joe calls home several
times a day and talks to
his dogs. We often wondered
who was making
the decisions in 025. Joe
does one bark mean yes
or no? If you have a dog
and you can't converse
with him have him call Joe
at his private line in 025.
1-312-746-7306.
Passed Over Again:
Well Joe, again promotions
were given out and
again you were passed
over. Usually you're just
passed out. Joe if it wasn't
for political clout you and
Waynebo would be
wagon men in a south
side district.
Up In 016:
Our 016 district reporters
inform us that Joe recently
went up to the 016 district
to mooch a free meal
and parked his unmarked
Chevy JBD 599 in an illegal
parking spot and it
was promptly ticketed by
the footman. How is it
that Joe can get this ticket
non-suited when he
makes officers in 025 pay
for same type of tickets?
Hey Joe, the 016 District
Commander wants to
know why you stiffed the
waitress. You really
should leave a tip once in
a while.
THERE AIN'T NO
PITY IN DONKEY
CITY!
Gallows II Issue 06 April 1995
The Crime Fighter:
There ain’t no gang problems
in the parks in 025.
This statement was sputtered
by Joe at every community
meeting for the
last several months. Unfortunately
another gang
banger learned otherwise
and was shot and crippled
in Kosciuszko Park. So
what does Joe do? He orders
the P.O. handling the
incident to make a Supplementary
report saying
this gang banger was shot
in the street and ran the
500 feet to get into the
park. Joe this was kind of
hard to do when your
spine is shattered. The detectives
unit went ballistic
over your meddling.
I.A.D. can’t believe it either.
Every one is tired of
your nonsense. Speaking
of nonsense read on.
Two of our 1st watch
P.O.’s recently were following
a stolen vehicle
when they were involved
in a auto accident. This
accident injured both officers,
one critically. The
accident was originally
made non-preventable.
Guess what Joe does? He
spends two days trying to
find someone to rewrite
the report to make the officers
wrong. Finally he
gets one of his office lice,
who was day off on the
day of the accident, who
never was at the accident
site, to write a Supplementary
report making the officers
at fault for the accident.
Here we have another
falsification of a report
to suit Joe’s whims and
another boning of two officers.
Joe what do you
gain by doing this?
After a search of my garage I finally found what I was looking for. My wooden mallet and my wooden stake. I've saved it for many years. I plan on going to Joe Curtin's wake and drive that stake thru his heart, as everyone knows, its the only way to make sure those evil bastards stay dead. Does anyone know if I can lose my pension by driving that stake thru his heart?
Gallows II Issue 07 May 1995
The C.R.:
In our April issue of the
Gallows, we made mention
of two 1st watch
P.O’s being seriously injured
in a squad car accident
that wasn’t their
fault. Joe had the report
rewritten several times
until he found someone
that would make the Officers
wrong. Well after
much pressure from several
025th District Officers
with guts, the F.O.P.
obtained a C.R. against
Joe. Joe is now running
around telling anyone that
will listen that he’s got
pals in I.A.D and they are
going to take care of him
and that he’ll spend the
rest of his career getting
even with the P.O’s that
dared to rat him out. We
often wondered why
I.A.D. hasn’t followed up
on any of the other true
Joe stories written up in
the Gallows.
Another Strong Arm:
For years on a monthly
basis the butcher from
Deli-Delight has come
into 025 selling lunch
meats and cheeses. Many
of us looked forward to
his visits, especially Joe,
and now we know why. In
early May, the meat man
arrived in 025 for the first
time since Christmas, One
of our reporters asked
him why he hasn’t been
around? The reporter
learned that the meat man
had been avoiding the
025th District. It seems
that when he would come
into the station, Joe would
give him a list of gifts he
wanted. The meat man
says he was losing money
every time he came into
025 to ply his wares.
Gallows II Issue 08 June 1995
Fathers Day:
The Gallows staff wants
to wish all you fathers out
there a Happy Fathers
Day. Except Joe, of
course who, thank goodness,
has failed to procreate.
One of our reporters,
while doing a family history
check on Joe, learned
that the Pope had issued a
Papal Decree ordering Joe
not to reproduce. We understand
this decree was
issued as Joe has been the
subject of several failed
exorcisms.
Family Feud:
We understand that Joe is
extremely upset with our
new District Manager. It
seems she has discovered
some of the ghost pay
rollers that Joe was hiding
in the front office. Our
day watch reporters are
saying they are now seeing
officers that have been
assigned to 025 for several
years, but they had
never seen before. Now
the big question is, will
the District Manager force
these same officers to
work a full eight hour
day? A note to the District
Manager - keep looking -
you haven’t found all of
the ghosts yet. Joe, why
do you constantly refer to
our District Manager as:
“That F---ing Blonde
Bimbo”.
Joe, what was the Superintendents
reply when you
stated “either she goes or
I go”?
Another Strong-arm:
What district business is
Joe strong arming this
month? Hanks on Cicero.
Joe, not only are they
upset that you refuse to
pay for food and drinks,
they are even more upset
that
Gallows II Issue 09 July 1995
Ka Boom:
Recently a bank robber
entered a local bank in the
025th district carrying a
briefcase. He presented a
note to the teller demanding
money and claimed
that this briefcase contained
a bomb. The robber
left the bank empty handed
and left behind the
briefcase. Officers arriving
on the scene evacuated
the bank and called for the
F.B.I. as well as the
Bomb and Arson Unit.
Who arrives on the scene
first? Joe. And what does
Joe do? Of course, Joe
enters the bank and picks
up the briefcase. Upon
opening the briefcase Joe
spots the bomb and
throws everything to the
floor and runs out of the
bank. We have witnesses
that say Joe had to go into
the District station to
change his clothes as Joe
had wet his pants fleeing
the bank. Joe, one of our
reporters suggest you invest
in a set of adult size
diapers. Fortunately for
everyone involved the
bomb turned out to be a
dud. Joe, the F.B.I. agents
who arrived on the scene
were extremely upset with
your actions. In fact, they
said you gotta be the
dumbest policeman on
earth.
B.V.D.’s:
With Joe on furlough
things around the District
station are nice and quiet.
We are extremely happy
without Joe around and
we understand the businessmen
in the area are
even more happier. We
know Joe is enjoying his
typical furlough; sitting at
the kitchen table in his underwear
playing solitaire
and listening to the police
scanner. Joe, the front office
says they are tired of
you calling every hour to
find out if you're still the
District Commander. Joe,
do us a favor, take a bath,
change your underwear
and get a life.
Gallows II Issue 010 August 1995
Academy Awards:
In the July Gallows issue
we made mention of a
foiled bank robber leaving
his briefcase behind
which contained a phony
bomb. One of our Reporters
had the opportunity
to see the bank security
tape of Joe opening the
briefcase and throwing it
to the ground and then
running from the bank.
We are thinking about
sending a copy to America’s
Funniest Video and
we’re sure it will be a
winner. Joe, the F.B.I.
also has a copy. They said
they’ll use it as a training
film about what NOT to
do at a bank robbery with
a suspected bomb. They
said they will title it “The
Worlds Dumbest Policeman”.
Weeping Icon:
With the help of the news
media its a well known
fact that there is a church
near the District Station
where there is an Icon of
the Blessed Virgin Mary
that is weeping. Many
people believe that it is a
sign of an evil thats lurking
nearby. One of our reporters
actually believes
that this Icon is weeping
because Joe is still the
Commander of the 025
District. Or, maybe it has
something to do with the
failed exorcisms that Joe
has been the subject of in
the past.
The Price Is Right:
Its summer in the 025
District which means
there's a barrage of carnivals.
Joe, why is it that
none of these carnivals get
police protection except
one. St. Stans Carnival
gets several on duty uniformed
officers as well as
several plain clothes officers
detailed to this carnival.
Also Joe , what was in
that envelope given to you
at the close of St. Stans
carnival? We hope this
envelope just contained
free tickets to ride the ferris
wheel.
Gallows II Issue 11 September 1995
A Sinking Ship
Well, another long hot
summer has come and
gone in the 25th Police
District. As usual, Joe
kept the District in chaos.
Supervisors were bounced
from one shift assignment
to another like ping pong
balls. No clout Officers
were removed from their
plain clothes assignments
for no rhyme or reason.
Baby furloughs were routinely
denied. Police Inspectors
were in the District
on a daily basis making
everyone’s lives miserable.
When questioned
these Inspectors freely admitted
that Joe requests
their presence. Yeah,
thanks for the good work
Officers. Month after
month the 025 District
has double digit biddable
openings and month after
month no one bids in.
Also, every month the
25th District leads all Districts
in Officers bidding
out. Since Joe arrived 6
years ago, the 25th District
has led the City in
union grievances every
year. Joe has received
more C.R. numbers
against him than any other
Commander in the City.
In fact, Joe has been sued
more than any other Commander
in the City. What
we’re trying to say is that
in Chicago Politics doesn't
this qualify Joe for a
promotion?
Gallows II Issue 12 October 1995
Going, Going, Gone!:
Well, happy days are here
again. As most everyone
knows by now, Joe is finally
gone. “Dumped”
Joe’s been sent to the
wastelands at 11th and
State where his every
move can be watched.
Joe’s now at the Auditing
and Internal Control Unit.
This is the Unit that is responsible
for counting
paper clips within the Police
Department. We here
at the Gallows know that
Joe has a problem counting.
When he runs out of
fingers and toes, that’s it.
Speaking of counting, Joe,
the businessmen in the
025th District want to
know where to forward
the 1099 Tax forms for all
the gifts they were forced
to give you. Joe, the Officers
assigned to the 025th
District had a 3 day party
celebrating your removal.
We all had a great time.
We’re glad you weren’t
invited. Yes Joe, we’re
going to miss you. We’re
going to miss your listening
in on our telephone
conversations. We’re also
going to miss your turning
on the intercom in
your office and listening
in on the conversations
throughout the District
Station. Most of all, we all
are going to miss “Fright
Night”. The nights you
stayed for all 3 shifts to
make our lives miserable.
Joe, we hope you’ll be as
miserable in your new position
as you made us the
past 6 years.
Yeah, We Knew:
In the September issue of
the Gallows we made
mention of a promotion
for Joe. One of our reporters,
who has close ties
with the Superintendents
Office, was told over the
summer months that
Joe’s days in the 025
District were numbered. It
seems that Downtown
was tired of Joe’s act.
They were waiting for a
nonsensitive job to open
up where Joe could be
hidden. Somewhere,
where Joe would be the
boss of no one. The Superintendents
Office cited
Joe’s constant bickering
with the civilian organizations
as well as the distaste
for him by local Aldermen
as reasons for
Joe’s removal. We know
the real truth, it was the
Gallows that got Joe
launched. There has been
thousands of copies of the
025th District Gallows II
circulated through out the
city of Chicago monthly.
Joe’s antics were talked
about on several well
known radio talk shows.
Yes, Joe was an embarrassment and the Gallows let everyone know.
Something the Gallows II never thought it would be able to publish!
FINALLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The 'Gallows' Obit...
Joseph L. Curtin,
Curtin, Joseph L., of Countryside, retired Administrator with the Illinois State Police and retired Commander in the Superintendent's office of the Chicago Police Dept., with 41 years of service. Beloved husband of Joan; loving brother of Mary Ellen Hess; devoted brother-in-law of Judy (Charles) Herman, Diane (John) Spring, Loretta Alvarado and Dennis (Mary Beth) Baum; dear uncle and cousin to many. Visitation 3 to 9 p.m., Friday, at Hallowell & James Funeral Home, 1025 W. 55th St., Countryside. Prayers 9:30 a.m., Saturday at the funeral home , to St. Cletus Church, LaGrange for Mass at 10 a.m. Interment Holy Sepulchre Cemetery. In lieu of flowers, memorials to the American Lung Association appreciated. Mr. Curtin was a graduate of the F.B.I. Academy and he was a member of the Irish Fellowship Club in Chicago for many years. Funeral home phone 708-352-6500. Published in Chicago Tribune on December 8, 2010.
Don't tase me, bro!
Spare me " graduate of F.B.I. Academy" and he was a "member of the Irish Fellowship Club"
So let me see could it have been his clout that got him there and did he pass any test? If you know Joe, you know he had to cheat to get a passing grade if there was one.
Irish Fellowship club - does that mean he was drunk all the time?
Seems so considering the number of cars he wrecked and then had someone else take the blame for him.
I saw him in 025 one St. Patrick’s day dressed in a Green suit and Derby hat - he was so drunk and red faced he looked like a Christmas ornament.
Great standup boss!!!!!!
Again the setting is Area 3 Homicide. Curtin is half in the bag and he's holding roll call behind his lectern. He continues to mumble insipid gibberish as he strokes his lectern like a lover. The guy was a pathetic boor.
The next day he returns. He can't find his beloved lectern. His face turned beet red. He's sooooo pissed. While he's having roll call minus his lectern and leaning against a wall, he looks out the window. He sees his smashed lectern lying on the roof of the building across the street.
Thanks for your hilarious input, Gallows and Sir Donkey.
Any more "Curtin Classics"?
unholy shit, it's a fucking encyclopedia on curtinsy, ain't it?
Didnt Zawis go to the Curtin school of leadership?
Upon entering the 025 District vestibule, Joe's picture was posted on a sign that stated welcome to the 25th District. One day I noticed Joe's picture was removed and replaced with a picture of Curly from the 3 stooges. It was brought to my attention that Joe's picture had been relocated to the men's locker room. Upon entering the men's locker room I noticed a line of officers in front of a urinal. In that urinal was Joe's picture glued inside it. When Joe found out he had a fit and demanded an ET take prints. Of course the ET refused.
I remember when the picture of Joe's face showed up on the back end of a Donkey with the caption
"ASSHOLE OF THE MONTH
JOE HO! HO! HO! 30 DAYS CURTIN
Loved and respected by many?
May Joe find a place with the proper view.
From all your friends, this one is for you!"
Area 5 Detective offices are located on the 2nd floor overlooking the 25th District desk. One day while looking thru the glass above the desk area I observed several balloons floating toward the ceiling. Attached to these balloons were pictures of Joe Curtin with extremely large ears attached. I spent the next 2 hours watching the desk officers try to shoot down the balloons with paper clips while Curtin stood there screaming at the top of his lungs. Those balloons with Curtin's pictures stayed up there for several days.
Gallows II Issue 13 November 1995
The Haunting
Joe has been transferred
but we see him almost as
much now as before; he is
still seen roaming around
the 025th District. Whats
the matter Joe, can’t find
any businessmen to
strong-arm at 11th and
State? Joe is like Jason in
the Halloween movies, he
just won’t go away.
Unappreciation Party
Waynebo decided to promote
a going away party
for Joe at a local bar.
Waynebo, who is still the
District Tact Lieutenant,
forced all the District Tactical
Officers, as well as
the Gang Officers, to buy
tickets to the party under
the threat of being
dumped back to working
a beat car. They should
have saved their money
and had the party in the
District Tactical Office, as
only these Officers
showed up. We understand
the party was over
before it began.
Gallows II Issue 14 December 1995
The 025th District recently
had their Christmas
party at a local banquet
hall and everyone had a
good time. It was especially
nice because Joe
wasn’t there. It seems that
Joe couldn’t mooch a free
ticket to the party. There
were many of the Gallow
reporters present enjoying
the festivities.
Inspector Clouseau:
As everyone knows by
now, Joe is the head of the
Inspectors within the
Chicago Police Department.
As you might suspect,
yes, we have inspectors
assigned to 025th
District on almost a daily
basis. Not only do these
inspectors freely admit
that Joe sends them to the
District, he also gives
them a list of Officers to
go after. He’s turned
these inspectors into
bounty hunters lest they
feel the wrath of their
Chief and Head Inspector
Joe Curtin. Joe has sworn
that he’ll never rest till he
gets even with each and
every one responsible for
getting him dumped from
being the Commander of
the 025th District.
Gallows II Issue 16 February 1996
Bounty Hunters
As usual the 025th District
has been bombarded
by Inspectors from the Inspection
Division. Everyone
knows that ex 025th
District Commander, Joe
Curtin, heads that unit and
has sworn revenge on the
Officers assigned to the
025th District. Recently
one of the Officers assigned
to the day shift
was stopped on the street
by an inspector for no apparent
reason. This inspector
was overheard
calling Joe on his cellular
phone to find out if this
Officer was one of the
Officers that Joe was after.
Of course, this Officer
was written up by the Inspector.
The Inspector cited
“grooming
standards”. When will it
end
Gallows II Issue 19 May 1996
The Grand March
As everyone knows the
St. Judes parade was a
huge success. The 025th
District had its largest
turnout ever. Not hard to
understand why, now that
we have a District Commander
that works with
his Officers, and not
against them as the previous
Commander had.
Speaking of the previous
Commander, Joe Curtin
was observed standing in
the background at the St.
Judes parade, until the parade
started, that is. It
seems that when the
march kicked off Joe was
observed darting out in
front of the parade and
began marching as if he
was leading the parade.
Joe wanted to be the first
Officer that the dignitaries
would see marching past
the grandstands. As Joe
went past, several Deputy
Superintendents were
heard chuckling as someone
stated that Joe looked
like BOZO leading the
grand march. Its good to
know that Joe’s still making
a fool of himself.
Thank you for the taser link. With my purchase I get a Hard case holster and mp3 player!
Bwahahahahahahahahahahaaaa!!!!!!!!!
08:58:00 PM & 06:36:00 AM...
You two yahoos can have your joe curtin fan club meeting hovering over a hole in a foreet preserve shit shack. The man had no redeeming human qualities and got off on treating coppers like shit unless they sat at the bar and paid the tab after watching him get stiff.
It is with great pride that the Committee announces three finalists for the 2010 Joseph L. Curtin Award, the coveted gold plated dildo:
Penelope Jones-Trahanas
Michael Mealer
Adrienne Stanley
The award will be presented to the winner by last year's winner, Lilly Crump-Hales (aka "Burger Queen").
Shouldn't the items in this Memorial to Joe be moved to a separate topic area with all the posts moved into it so other people can celebrate the subject? There must be untold numbers of Joe's victims who don't know he is pass on and shortly to be sucking worms! I'm sure they would like to know and post their own comments.
Also will someone get the burial plot # and location so those of us who can’t attend the internment can later find the grave site for our own private memorial service & remembrance ceremonies!
2010 Curtin Award said...
It is with great pride that the Committee announces three finalists for the 2010 Joseph L. Curtin Award, the coveted gold plated dildo:
Penelope Jones-Trahanas
Michael Mealer
Adrienne Stanley
The award will be presented to the winner by last year's winner, Lilly Crump-Hales (aka "Burger Queen").
12/08/2010 11:12:00 PM
OK, now for the lifetime Joseph L.Curtin Achievement Awards
This award is for those exempt personnel that , by thought, action or deed, captures the mindset and spirit of deceased Commander Joseph L. Curtin.
The lifetime award goes to...(envelope and drumroll please)
Retired and Retarded Commander
John Doty!!!!
Take a bow-l movement, John!
You are and were such a lousy boss, you made Curtin look professional.
Doty the U of C hates you every bit as much as CPD does. When you finally kick tha bucket, your gravesite will remain well saturated , believe me.
You might want to look at a crypt, John...marble holds up to urine, get my drip...er drift?
Curtin was simply a piece of shit.
This buffoon would fuck with everyone without clout.
In one instance that POS Curtin seriously asked a female PO who was changing a tire why she didn't have her hat on instead of getting his fat ass out and assist her.
Burke put this asshole in a north side district so Curtin couldn't fuck with any of Burke's people.
I agree. Joe Curtin had no redeeming human qualities. He was a jack wagon. He is the reason most police officers hate Irish Bosses (especially from the Southside) and white folks in general. He was a big eared buffoon. You should have seen him at the St. Jude’s parade when he showed up in the oversized Green uniform of the Illinois Management Police. It looked like a tent on him. In fact he looked like poorly dressed doorman. What a joke.
Go to www.legacy.com, enter "Joseph Curtin" and check the "guest book" for the eulogy of Ray Risley, another treacherous jagoff.
How do I get a copy of the 25th District Gallows? They were really funny. It was the only reason I went to the F.O.P. meetings. Well, that and a couple of beers. Second City can you print them? We really enjoyed them, Thanks.
Go to www.legacy.com, enter "Joseph Curtin"!
You will see a Joe most of us never knew and can't believe existed.
What a contrast from the comments here.
I for one was in 025 when he was there and he was the biggest asshole that I ever worked in my 33 years on the job.
Turned more young working coppers into dogs because of the lies he told them and the promises he made to them. Then once they got caught up with Cr#'s for doing his bidding he then threw them to the dogs and wouldn't back them.
Even screwed one ass kissing Lt. in 025 who thought Joe was his friend.
Screwed Capt. L Arado when Arado's wife was dying of cancer.
In 33 years on the job, having worked all over the city, I never saw a boss go as far out of the way to fuck as many people as possible than Joe. Everything was predicated on clout or no clout - if no clout your fucking was imminent. If you had clout you had to use your clout to get concessions that Joe would use later like money in the bank.
May many piss on his grave - I know I have my own plans.
why stop with curtin, how about a few captain "friskies" stories.... maybe 025 is goofier than 017, if not they are a close second....
Holy Sepulchre Cemetery, 6001 W. 111th St., Alsip.
"Holy Sepulchre..."
...ever wondered how fucked up the one car funeral of a guy who could fuck up a one car funeral would look?
The Joe we didn't know!!!!!!!!
December 08, 2010
I have many fond memories of working for Joe while assigned to the old A/3 Violent Crimes Unit. He always had your back and had a uncompromising flare for the 'job'. A great guy who will be an asset to the Almighty in heaven.
Ron Palmer, Barstow, California
"great guy who will be an asset to the Almighty in heaven"
Sound like the eulogy from another drunk. Every time I read this one I get the visual of the guy naked on all fours with Curtin behind him (naked also) screaming lets ride!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
A man calls the police department and asks for Joe L. Curtin Jr., the desk sergeant says, "Sorry to inform you that Curtin passed away the other day."
a few minutes later...the same man calls the police department and asks for Joe L. Curtin Jr., the desk sergeant says, "Sorry to inform you that Curtin passed away the other day."
a few more minutes later...man calls the police department and asks for Joe L. Curtin Jr., the desk sergeant says, "Sorry to inform you that Curtin passed away the other day." Then the desk sergeant asks the man, "Are you the same guy who has just called 3 times in a row?" and the man answers, "Yes!"
The desk sergeant asks, "Why do you keep calling back after I have already told you that Joe Curtin is dead?"
The man calling says, "Because I love hearing that the bastard is dead!"
I dealt with Corliss aka Skeletor and Curtin - of the two I preferred to deal with Corliss.
At least with Corliss there were times you could reason with the guy.
With Curtin it was all about clout every time.
It was a cold wet rainy day as befitting the memory of Joe Curtin who was once the scrooge / scourge of the 025th Police District in Chicago.
Like a boil on our ass he will be sorely missed!!!!!
The funeral for Joe contrary to conventional wishful myth did not take place in a phone booth or an outhouse. Attendance seemed sparse for one so “well liked and revered” as Joe. I counted about 20 civilian cars, + squad cars from the State, Cook County, Lyons, and Countryside IL filling out the group as did my car. Believe it or not the Ill State Police provided an Honor Guard. There were 2 Chicago CPD units there – 2512 & 955. In addition there were 2 “M” plated vehicles one of which had 2 people in it with the driver being much younger than the passenger.
I thought one of the “M” plated vehicles might have been Eddie Burke but wasn’t sure.
Either I’m getting old and so was everyone else as I didn’t recognize anyone except for the driver of the 2512 vehicle.
The massive 4 city block long funeral procession* funeral procession wormed it’s way WB on 55th street from St. Cletus to Willow Springs Rd and then South to 95th street, EB to LaGrange Rd and then south to 111th street EB and finally to Holy Sepulchre where Joe was unloaded into the “holding” Chapel because of the inclement weather. So he’s not sucking worms yet!
I will try to have the coordinates of the grave site within the next week. So those of you who need closure can come out to the grave site for your own special memorial service as necessary.
Something got lost in my post on the funeral description!
This should now make more sense of the redundant “funeral procession* funeral procession”.
Missing 4 block long funeral procession explained:
*4 city blocks long with all the civilian, municipal and police vehicles – could have been as short as 1 1/2 blocks if everyone didn’t have 2 to 4 car lengths between each vehicle because of the weather – still a lot larger than the outhouse or phone booth wish.
Curtin's take home car was the only one constantly getting bird shit on the windshield, what Curtin didn’t know is that one creative officer was going through packs of Rolaids partially chewing them and spitting the chewed mass on Curtin’s windshield – looks like bird shit every time if done right.
This happened behind the station and at community meetings or anywhere else the officer could find Curtin’s car. Old Waynebo Thompson was put on bird dog duty but could never catch the guy even when he was sitting on the parking lot with high powered field glasses. Somebody was always running interference and the bird shit kept coming.
Now you young guy out there don’t try this one any more as now they would catch you from the DNA in your saliva – it was a different time.
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