Crystal Ball Unit Claims a Win
- A 30-year-old man who was beaten after several men broke into his West Garfield Park home last month has died, officials said tonight.
Christopher Williams of the 4400 block of West Jackson Boulevard was pronounced dead at 12:01 p.m. Saturday at Mount Sinai Hospital, according to a spokesman for the Cook County medical examiner's office.
Of course, the only reason they got it is someone called them from the hospital and told them the exact time the family decided to terminate life support. But a win is a win and someone needs to keep their job downtown and justify the millions spent on this nonsense.
Labels: sarcasm AND silliness
posted by SCC at 12:03 AM
20 Comments:
I hear that Miss Cleo will soon be assigned to the CBU to assist in crime prediction, palm readings and private psychic consultations for the command staff.
Maybe, just maybe, instead of taking all this data about "shots fired" calls and disturbances and such, the Crystal Ball Unit should just troll the west and south sides for party fliers. That would give them actual addresses of future shooting sites rather than a general one-mile-by-one-mile box that doesn't seem to be working. After all, if they could predict it, they could prevent it, right?
I agree, it's the best crime prevention suggestion I heard, in a long time.
Damn precogs could'nt predict Weis fate.
I remember back in the seventies we had a crystal ball unit that could predict where crime was going to happen---it was called a "bad neighborhood" and you stayed the fuck out of it because it was dangerous.
---not a cop
I hear the producers of Minority Report II are not using the CBU as a model.
They did not get any grant money, so WE are paying for ALL of this nonsense. Still think it's funny?
Ennie,Meany,Chili Beany,the spirits are about to speak...Are they friendly spirits Bullwinkle....
They are now that J-Fled is gone....
Just sayin.
Yea but the actual incident happened a while ago so does it really count and besides it was an inny and not an outty and it was baby mommas ex. Right in front of kids too damn.
I have a suggestion for u scc. Theres a kid who staryed a blog in mexico thats tells it exactly how it is with all the narco violence that all the media says it isnt happenning butthe videos says it all. And done with pics and videos. Maybe you should do the same and post more pics and videos of all that is really happening in chicago that way everybody can really see who is doing what and where. It would be interesting to see the reaction of aldercreatures and higher who couldnt deny anything anymore. Just a thought.
and in more silliness here is a Chicago Celebrity death watch odds.
The Daley and Weis ones are classic.
http://www.beachwoodreporter.com/people_places_things/the_beachwood_death_watch.php
should of predicted the crime, then this person wouldnt of died.
Even a broken watch is correct twice a day!
It would be interesting to see the reaction of aldercreatures and higher who couldnt deny anything anymore. Just a thought.
3/07/2011 10:01:00 AM
start a separate blog.
call it 'Chi-Town In The Raw'.
Chicago's Hancock High School posted fliers on campus that listed 15 specific ethnic or racial slurs that students should not use.
Okay Crystal Ball Unit get to work. What are they, in order #1. thru #15?
My problem is limiting to 15. Some really tough choices.
In the information age, obtaining credible and potentially actionable information does not come from an algorithm.
The best way to do this is to set up an anonymous, online based information clearing house where people can submit tips. Then, you compile THAT information and over time, patterns would emerge.
No, you wouldn't get a warrant to go kick in a door because someone sent an email saying that 12345 North 123rd Street has drug activity, but over time, for goddamn sure would see the same few places getting reported over and over, at which time you could then expend human resources to investigate the matter further, perhaps set up surveillance, etc.
Sometimes, you would get tips that were actionable right off the bat.
It's the best way to employ the information age to law enforcement. Use it to break down the barriers and stigmas associated with reporting crime. Don't use it to create voo-doo bullshit that isn't credible.
My favorite is when Goldstein said that he could find no connection between narcotics sales and Gang violence.
4 years on the job......
Mr. Hillard, If you want the troops to know you are serious about fixing ths thing.....this young man should be on the midnights in a beat car. NO MATTER WHO HE IS RELATED TO!!!!!!
Even a blind squirrel can find a nut once in a while...
Dear Mr. 1047 a.m.
Would you be willing to give up your dynamite name to Mr. Gold -berg, stein - en?
Perfect name for the head of the crystal balls unit.
"Karnack the Great!"
Even a blind squirrel can find a nut once in a while...
3/08/2011 09:13:00 AM
can you get me that squirrel's number, I'd like to see if he'd give my wife a few tips on how it's done.
In the information age, obtaining credible and potentially actionable information does not come from an algorithm. ...
I agree, this is another great crime prevention suggestion.
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