Great Idea!
Where do these morons come up with these ideas and then think, "I'm brilliant!"?
- A test of electric-powered scooters is set to hit the city’s West Side next month, opening the doors for eager tech companies like Lyft, Uber and Lime seeking to expand their footprint, officials announced Wednesday.
The Electric Shared Scooter Pilot Program is scheduled to last four months, beginning June 15 and ending Oct. 15. It will include at least 2,500 or as many as 3,500 scooters in the pilot area, divided evenly among vendors who apply for and received permission from officials.
The announcement comes after months of behind-the-scenes negotiations between the city and e-Scooter companies, which have been popping up, and sometimes quickly leaving, other cities across the nation.
So many ideas popping into our heads here:
- fastest scooter company to go bankrupt
- first scooter purse snatching/robbery/theft from person
- first scooter drive by
- first scooter tossed in the Chicago River
- total number of scooters tossed in the River
- total number of scooters MIA or scrapped
We'll set the over/under at 51% for missing scooters right off the bat.
Labels: dumb ideas
posted by SCC at 12:04 AM
93 Comments:
Can we chase Scooters or are they going to terminate?
1st scooter with rider wearing cement Jordan's
taking an ill-advised GPS turn into the Chicago River
Thanks for the laugh... first scooter drive by.
This is as INSANE as Lightfoot wanting more "stuff" for kids to do on "spring break" or in the summer. How about chores? That's we did in the summer. Planting hedges, weeding hedges, weeding the garden, mowing the lawn, and on and on and on.
I was in LA 2 weeks ago. Not by choice. These scooters litter the sidewalks and streets everywhere, just dumped when they’re dead or dude is done with them. They are a mess. The traffic congestion caused by “juicers” who double park trucks in the street as they get out to retrieve these scooters and load them into the truck for recharge. It’s a real shitshow.
What will CPD’s pursuit policy be regarding motorized scooters?
Seriously? Theyre abandonded everywhere in LA and Are a menace. They do have tracking devices, so lots of retrieval house calls this year. I bet they ALL take flight to the usual car theft neighborhoods. Try something like this in shittcago? Lmao it's a long hot, trip up summer. Ferals will use them to steal and run off with someome's possession or simply intimidate, and knock down others using them.
Grab the popcorn. Wild
Maybe the department will trick out a few? Lmao smh
stay fetal
Hahahahaha ! This city is sooooo fucked up. Gonna work out real fine. Oh and....fron CWB....this lovely perspective of the feral gal that helped rob the guy on the red line...
“Police found Olds, Goodwin, 20-year-old De’Ovenonna Thomas, and the juvenile at a nearby .....”. Who in the name of all thats holy name their kid De’Ovenonna ? What if the oven was offa ?
“
Absolutely stupid idea. Hope the taxpayers don’t take the hit on this loss.
Sheeeyahhht!
Remembering the famous
"BMX Bike Ride-By Shooting & Chase"
that jumped off on the back side
of Harrison Park...
The two nitwits on the bike, in their
zeal to get away from The Police, ducked
into a gangway...
Cue:
>Pedaling like his hair was on fire
and his ass was beginning to catch<
Mistuh Vaulted Sidewalk
bka Mistuh Approx. 7 to 8 Foot Drop,
put a sudden stop to that.
Cue:
>Two nitwits wadded-up at the bottom
of the stairs all tangled up in the bike<
We.
Can't.
Fucking.
WAIT!
...Cuz THIS shit, is going to be even funnier
when the electric scooter games begin.
Not a cop and slightly off topic..but does anyone have the picture of the divvy bike that someone painted black?
Anyway be safe and thanks for your efforts.
There should be a $5000 fine to the scooter company for every one recovered in the river.
Do people even know how to safely operate these things? Won't unsafe scooter drivers cause multiple car crashes or injure pedestrians? This idea is stupid and wasteful.
Note to scooter company. Please include snow tires, skis up front, and heated hand grips on your chicago prototypes. It's going to be hard driving them in 6 inch snow and 30 below wind chills. Signed, jimmy johns and grubhub delivery driver's union.
It's the same grafting scam as with the bycycles:
1. Agreed bribes, kickbacks, etc, are set.
2. Tax funded program is launched.
3. Since agreed graft terms include either reimbursement for "lost, aka, stolen" objects being "rented", via directly from tax funding, or via graft partnered " insurance", no actual concerns concerning the obvious, other than the impossible, ie., not enough "lost, aka, stolen" objects to meet the projected graft goals of swag.
4. The bonus: add to the already simmering chaos of the streets.
5. Far fetched: maybe a strategy to reduce the demand for carjacked drive by transports. These nifty two wheeled's can go swiftly where no jacked car has ever gone before!!! If they offer some with knobby tires, for that mad run up onto the railroad tracks and such, this might become an unintended benefit to reducing the carjacking epidemic!!!! (Yeah. Sure. You betcha!!!)
To see what the grafters are doing, ya gotta think like a grafter.
Cell phone theft will be a thing of the past! The Rhodes Scholars will be able to go “Bird” hunting and it’s all legal. Google it. https://www.theatlantic.com/technology/archive/2018/05/charging-electric-scooters-is-a-cutthroat-business/560747/
They didn't learn a thing from the Divvy bike share program. Better to have Moe, Curly and Larry running the show.
Things got so bad in the UK reference yobs on moped scooters thieving that London coppers were told they could ram them. Quite a miracle for that now shithole country. But wait, some cops have still gotten in hot water for taking such an action. Of course in Chicago they will say just let them go, they are just kids and after all and they didn't even get a free trip to Florida for spring break so go easy on the poor lads. 15 mph isn't fast but given they usually pick the vulnerable the scooters could prove useful. And it's just fun to steal them and dump them after they no longer work. It will give those poor kids something to do this summer.
Saw these in San Diego. What a disaster. When they die out, they are just left where they are--the middle of the sidewalk usually, not that anyone on the west side uses sidewalks. Also, they go pretty fast, and the risk to pedestrians is significant. This will be a disaster of EPIC proportions. Can't wait to watch with some popcorn.
China's Bike-Sharing Disaster
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OXX423ErY1U
Instead of a few bikes in a pile, there are HUNDREDs of bikes in a pile. But the government and the firms involved make money...
So does chasing one of these scooters count as a vehicle pursuit? I can hear it now, chasing a Male??? On a scooter, (trying to be PC like our media)
ANYONE notice RAHMBELLINA seem in a rush to push all sort of tomfoolery through before his final lap at city hall?
YET still no contract for those guys who get shot at on a daily basis and suddenly were are remembered to post are fallen on the front page.
LETs get a contract special ED if only you worried about that instead of promoting some many half wits to merit spots.
xoxoxo
Someone out there will put heart into recovering these scooters
I see them telling us to recover scooters from west side.
And who is going to pay for “youth” taking free rides, us. Just give them scooters and send them to Florida so I can enjoy my coffee.
Anything to entertain coopers in 11th.
Don’t you need a motorcycle endorsement on your license? Do you even need a license? Insurance? Am I asking stupid questions?
What happened to the 100 Mercedes that were stolen a couple weeks ago accessed through a new phone app?
Yep, don’t think scooters will be around too long.
How about scooters held for ransom. How long before they are hacked and the community is more mobile. Nothing good comes from electric scooters.
Will city be on the hook for any missing scooters?
Sounds like fun. Good summer entertainment.
Now, kees me you fool!!!!
Other thing for the Obama library people to consider is parking for all scooter folks coming from the Westside.
Will there be valet scooter parking downtown at the finer restaurants?
I imagine there's a YouTube video on how to disable the GPS. Would be great for my summerhome.
You are more likely to die in a scooter accident than being
hit by lightning. Emergency rooms full; a whole generation
of cripples. Kids on disability before they hit 18.
Ever go to the islands and see otherwise healthy young people
walking around with canes and limps? That's because (unless
you take a taxi) the primary transportation is by scooter or light
motorbike (the kind you sit on). And that's where they grow up
learning how to ride!
This ain't France or Italy. Greedy corporations don't
care who they hurt. Government will pick up the long
term tab.
New Company Slogan"You can scoot with your loot"
I live in a suburb of Nashville. I can tell you from first-hand experience they are a damn nightmare. Nobody knows whether they are supposed to be ridden on the sidewalk, in a bike lane, or in the street. Drunks pile out of the bars and get on a scooter and go every which way. If you are walking in downtown Nashville, you have to stay on constant alert to make sure that you are not going to be mowed down by a scooter coming silently up from behind.
I live in Avondale, and was wondering how the city was going to ruin my summer this year. We finally have an answer. I welcome scrappers with open arms.
In Atlanta, these scooters have grearly improved the efficiency of muggers.
The scooter, and bikes before them, are well known for making San Diego a mess. The 'homeless' just cut off the trackers and locks and a large percentage go over the border to Mexico. Since this isn't about profits, only market share, one has to wonder where did and does the money for this yuppie fiasco come from?
Had an econ professor way back when who pointed out that Reagan's greatest achievement was tying up government spending for the years to come. This didn't make a lot of sense to a mere undergrad, but once we learn to follow the money it came together. Venture capitalists consider it a good year when 10% of their projects survive the fiscal year. Since they get a piece of every deal, failure is not an option, it's a bonus. This money is available to the financial sector because the governmental side has shrunk. So when you see all these homeless a**holes sh*tting up your sidewalk, we can thank the propaganda machine that convinced the public mod that closing state hospitals was a good thing. Replacing middle class professionals with grant funded social workers with low paying useless degrees allowed a large chunk of spending to be freed up. Now extrapolate this example onto the rest of the NGO economy, as a limited model. This capital source is typical of what is funding the Robber Barons of Wall Street, as well the Soros crowd (they are all in the same corral). Instead of clean streets and well-maintained highways (in this case), we have bums with a right to sh*t on the curb, a Starbucks on every corner and whatever other fad based business that will belly up when the next new thing comes out (The hipster wind tunnel for skydiving wannabes is a prime example).
So when you think about why the police are hamstrung, it's all about keeping the mindless consumer occupied with the next shiny lure, and certain Communities seem more responsive to bait than others. Anyone that lives in public housing and wears $200 plus basketball shoes is within a coveted market, to put it mildly
It’s almost as if these morons want and are basically helping the ghetto to self implode. It’s all good though. I’ll arrive just in time to drop paper and on to the next one.
The photo in the Tribune article shows the young lady test driving the Scooter with a Helmet on. So stupid question -- Where are these Scooter Rental Riders supposed to get Helmets?
The plan can't be to have a rented Helmet come with each scooter. Who the f--k wants to wear something some piss-bum just had on his lice-infested head. And No One is going to go lugging a f--kin Helmet around with them. No thanks to that too!
On the other hand, if the Electric Scooters fall under the same category as Motorcycles and Gas Scooters (Vespa, Moped), then No Helmet is required, right? Yeah, that'll work out well.
That is, until the first nitwit Millenial crashes into a Garbage Truck, Semi, or Bus, and crushes their stupid skull. If that's so I hope someone's Liability Insurance is current. And it BETTER BE for about $100,000,000 Million Dollars! Minimum.
ps: I can't wait for scores of these Scooters to get stolen and the first Outlaw Scooter Gang forms and the Gang-Fights for territory with the Chicago Outlaws MC and Hells Angels MC begins. That'd be f--kin priceless to see. (rotflmao!)
pps: No Offense meant to the Chicago Outlaws or Hells Angels. ;-)
I have no doubt that the West Side youths would operate these scooters in a responsible matter, and obey all traffic and safety regulations. :)
Anonymous said...
Thanks for the laugh... first scooter drive by.
This is as INSANE as Lightfoot wanting more ...............
Ummm, she isn't the Mayor yet. Stop blaming her for stupid ideas from rham and co.
Grab your popcorn.
most personal injury lawsuits related to scooters
youths doing a version of the old Marlon Brando movie The Wild Thing with scooters down the lakefront or Michigan Ave
You have to understand that a business like renting bikes and now scooters will get lots of flak if they try to confine their business model to law abiding neighborhoods. The bike rental companies tried that and caught hell from the social justice warriors. I say let some of these social justice warriors and minority business people put up their money to place these bossiness in minority areas. I think that would shut them up. As a matter of fact, let Fr. Faker put up some of his own money as an investment.
"Shared" will not turn out to mean what they think it means.
Personal injury lawyers got an instant hard on when they heard this. Knowingly sending untrained uneducated riders into typical Chicago Traffic.
Is the city buying shares in the scooter companies? Based on past history, you know....
Living in CA, here are more bets for you:
First TC with a scooter.
First TC with a scooter ridden by two underage, un-helmeted kids.
First senior citizens run over by a scooter.
First storefront window smashed by a scooter for forcible entry.
First assault using a scooter as a weapon.
Have fun.
Dunno what you guys have now, but South Bend has 'Lime Bikes' and now 'Lime Scooters'. It took the youths about 10 minutes to figure out how to 'jailbreak' a Lime bike, and there are three or four of them in every drug house they hit. Now with the scooters they'll need to be a little more inventive, but I'm sure they'll figure it out. And there is a river here too, not sure how many Lime Bikes are in there but it's a bunch. They can now be joined by the scooters.
On boy is this great.
We have these scooters in Austin. My advice is DONT DO IT.
What a joke! I’m speechless
i bet the taxpayers will be on the hook for all missing or damaged scooters too........
brilliant idea
A/N doesn’t have enough cars.
Maybe we can get a few
Can we chase Scooters or are they going to terminate?
"What's the scooter wanted for, squad?" "A shooting earlier in the day involving a assault weapon and 2 victims." "Terminate, terminate, take the license plate down and escort it to the nearest 290 entrance."
Thanks for the laugh... first scooter drive by.
This is as INSANE as Lightfoot wanting more "stuff" for kids to do on "spring break" or in the summer. How about chores? That's we did in the summer. Planting hedges, weeding hedges, weeding the garden, mowing the lawn, and on and on and on.
5/03/2019 12:20:00 AM
Stop! You're using common sense and we can't allow that. You qualify for a long stay in one of our re-education camps.
Anonymous Anonymous said...
Thanks for the laugh... first scooter drive by.
This is as INSANE as Lightfoot wanting more "stuff" for kids to do on "spring break" or in the summer. How about chores? That's we did in the summer. Planting hedges, weeding hedges, weeding the garden, mowing the lawn, and on and on and on.
It’s always about the weed!
They did away with them in Tempe around the College. It was a disaster. Do you ride them in the streets or in between the pedestrians?
@Anonymous 3:04am, The Electric Shared Scooter Pilot Program is scheduled to last four months, beginning June 15 and ending Oct. 15. It's not for winter.
Are they going to install scooter lanes next to the bike lanes? How many streets will be rendered impassible to 4-wheeled automobiles. Imagine doing an accident report...... scooter vs bicycle. DIVVY Scooters????
Grand opening....grand closing!!!
I JUST saw these things in San Diego. One probably argues the concept is sound on paper, but soon learns, not so much in practice.... you know ... kinda like communism! Watch, these little things will be somehow be paired with cell phones and housing entitlements in Cook on the next ballet.
SCC, excellent categories for the scooters. I'd like to submit an additional: 1st scooter fatal (bicyclists and walkers assume the roadway is theirs already, this will only make them slightly faster and more annoying)
Can’t wait to terminate a chase once a scooter takes off on me
What’s the over/under on the time before the first scooter gets flattened by a CTA bus?
Here are some of my predictions, based on what’s happened with the scooters on the West coast (and the bikes in Chicago):
1. Someone will figure out how to “hack” the scooter rental system (like the Mercedes not long ago) and the scooters will be “gone with the wind”.
2. “Underprivileged youth” will be “scooter-jacking” people this summer.
3. The few remaining tourists will be tripping over abandoned scooters on Michigan Ave.
4. Somewhere between a third and half of the scooters will end up in the Chicago River or Lake Michigan.
5. Before Labor Day, a “community member” will be killed when they run a stolen scooter into a large, immobile object while fleeing police, earning their family a figure north of $1 million.
Let’s see how I do!
See how much the vendors donated to the Democrats to push the scooter program.
I just came back from San Antonio TX. Scooters were used by a lot of tourists and I guess regular people to get around. I did not risk using one and will not in Chicago. As long as the City does not help the company distributing the scooter, good luck to those companies.
Was in Indy for the NRA convention. Scooters all over the place laying on sidewalks, the street, alleys, outdoor cafes. It was pathetic.
Put them at The Marshall Field Apts.
Those things will be stolen even more frequently than the blue bikes.
https://www.theverge.com/2019/5/2/18526813/scooter-electric-injury-austin-cdc-study-head-helmet
Documentary makers, here's your chance at making a legendary film.
Never let a good scam go to waste.
Still two more weeks of Crazy Rahm$Deals to be inked.
Won’t be any money left for LightLoafer’s Summer Downtown Yoof Experience.
Just recovered my first "stole" scooter up on cinder blocks with both wheels missing!
Is Rahm's brother a investor in this like Divvy bikes ?
For the love of money is the root of All evil.....
Was in Indianapolis and they have these "Bird: scooters and they are a joke. They litter and black the sidewalk. people just leave them anywhere. Its just idiots using these things.
We need a gun sharing program in Chicago....Rent a side piece by the hour! "For when you're in Chicago, and U don't feel so safe" We can call them Divvy Guns. Or, Uber Pistolas'.
Anonymous said...
"Never let a good scam go to waste.
Still two more weeks of Crazy Rahm$Deals to be inked.
Won’t be any money left for LightLoafer’s Summer Downtown Yoof Experience."
5/03/2019 05:49:00 PM
Lol at Crazy Rahm$Deals...
Kinda like
"Wacky Louie Auto Sales" or some similar such
that would air on commercial breaks during the
"Late, Later Still, Late-like-A-M/Fer Show."
I can’t wait for the police scanner calls on this one ...
Will they have training wheels?
Anonymous Anonymous said...
Not a cop and slightly off topic..but does anyone have the picture of the divvy bike that someone painted black?
Anyway be safe and thanks for your efforts.
5/03/2019 01:52:00 AM
I found a photo of the black one. I also saw one that was painted silver.https://chi.streetsblog.org/2018/10/03/divvy-security-reinstallations-speeded-up-possibly-in-response-to-reader-wttw-coverage/
Wait'll some liberal white from Oak Park runs over one of these peeps at Washington and Pulaski on his way home and gets the shit kicked out of him
That kids name is an old ethnic family name which translates in English to “has the oven been left on?”
Also from Nashville- we will be happy to give you our thousands of scooters! What a pain in the ass!
Over and under on the first scooter drive by shooting?
This is another joke how many bikes they were rentals were stolen? Watch and see the animals to come downtown with the scooters run the people down grab their purses maybe beat a few people another shit show! Whose getting the Backdoor campaign contributions follow the money!
Anonymous Anonymous said...
They did away with them in Tempe around the College. It was a disaster. Do you ride them in the streets or in between the pedestrians?
5/03/2019 12:40:00 PM
From what I've seen vacationing in a couple of different cities the answer to your question is:BOTH!Ride them as fast as possible zig zagging around pedestrians and in moving traffic.The accident and deaths from these things is pretty well documented.
Can HeyJacass.com start a new classification for scooter crimes??????
I just got the trademark for the term "scooter jack"
Forgive my ignorance but these are motorized vehicles. Shouldn't the vehicle and operators require a license and insurance?
Put odds on the date of the first occurrence of a pedestrian successfully reacting to an aggressive scooter pilot.
I waaaaassss Scooter Jacked Officer !!!
Total number of Scooter drivers eligible for a Darwin Award....
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