DNA Testing 'Yotes?
The backlog in testing rape kits is measured in years, and somehow they have time and money for this:
- A coyote captured this week will undergo a DNA test to confirm if it is the same coyote responsible for a recent attack on a 6-year-old boy in Lincoln Park.
The testing is expected to take several weeks, according to the Commission on Animal Care and Control spokeswoman Jennifer Schlueter.
And what happens if the test reveals that this isn't the biting coyote, but conclusively proves that he fathered a few dozen litters and hasn't paid a dime in pup-support in years?
Labels: sarcasm AND silliness
posted by SCC at 12:05 AM
106 Comments:
If he fathered pups w/o paying child support- Alderman Lopez will tax the coyote for all of his off-spring
There has been two reported coyotes killing humans in last 50 yrs. More likely to be killed by asteroid. Just like you have 18,000,000/1 chance of fatal shark attack your in ocean.
Put the animal down AINT nobody adopting coyotes!
OR let me guess they will put the beats on a train and send him to a nice City like the DELLS
How fucking ridiculous can these fuckers get. It is a wild animal and they are more worried about this than a for real feral fuckin human fucking piece of shit? Getting beyond sick of these fuckers bullshit.
;
Coyotes are very athletic but not strong. A trained pitbull or Rot can take up to 4 coyotes at a time. Coyotes are most dangerous to very small dogs and definitely cats. The vast majority of coyotes in Cook County are under 50lbs.
How many coyotes are in Cook County about 7000. And they commit about two attacks of people a year which never have resulted in a death. Let's call in the national guard.
You guys are funny!!
Think if ya DNA the fur rat to Crimesha you'll find a match? Or Soros?
To answer your concluding question:
1. Register him as a.......wait for it....... Democrat.
2. Register every pup he ever fathered, whether living or not, every bitch he ever knocked up, ditto on the alive or dead specs, every cousin, uncle, auntie, sibling, etc., as.....wait for it....... A Democrat.
3. Hook him up with the democrat sponsered Coyote Lives Matter activists.
4. Offer him a city/county no show gig if he can register the minimum number of his coyote kindred as democrats.
5. Issue him a LINK card.
6. Advise him of the dates he will be expected to hand out palm cards, aka Election Day and the week leading up thereto.
7. Provide him with a list of prog/democrat orgs to join and do whatever they tell him to do. Whatever they tell him to do.
The above is by no means a complete !ist of what comes next for Wiley.
Varmint hunting and I don’t mean the libtards.
PR Scam.
Some apartment/condo complexes have monthly pet
fees. Not only that, Fido has to give a stool sample
to be typed for DNA. Fines are levied if you don't clean up.
People say this is used as a SCAM to get rid of "undesirable"
pet owners. Imagine the cost of retaining a dog poop lawyer
to argue that the sample could have been cross-contaminated.
It's a Money-Making Scam. Due to the high cost of fighting
a 'poop suit', some pet owners simply give up and move.
Don't be surprised if this comes to CPD.
I saw a coyote buying Newports, lotto tickets, Hot Cheetos and a Mt. Dew at the Quick Mart. ♠️
Coyotes are the new alligators.
This is cash-in time for the pols.
This is just too much on a Sunday morning.
I just watched a YouTube thing on all the
Alfred Hitchcock cameos he ever made. Quite
impressive. Goes back to the 1920s. In 1963,
he walks his own two dogs out of a pet store
(The Birds) just as Tippi Hendron is walking in.
That accent? He was born in England.
(Sorry, no coyote cameos)
Our "deeper than Hell itself" sources reveal that Lori is a real
ankle biter.
Are you really surprised?
CACC is like COPA for coyotes.
Kevin costner is in town. Filming of "dances with coyotes" is being discussed.
I always thought registering coyote DNA in Chicago was ruled
unconstitutional
The coyote gets free housing and retribution money,
Gee we can't even get rape kits tested, and now even a coyote gets faster results better treatment than women.
And what happens if the test reveals that this isn't the biting coyote, but conclusively proves that he fathered a few dozen litters and hasn't paid a dime in pup-support in years?
Labels: sarcasm AND silliness
Please SCC let us know if there is a GOFUNDME page for Wiley Coyote...
I'm surprised they haven't given him a cute little Nick name yet.regardless of DNA results,he won't end up at the glue factory.more likely at a nice comfy yote sanctuary.
Judge Chamberlain Haller: Uh… did you say ‘yutes’?
Vinny Gambini: Yeah, two yutes.
Judge Chamberlain Haller: What is a yute?
Vinny Gambini: Oh, excuse me, your honor…Two yOOOOOO-uths.
Finally know who killed Jon Benet
Ha Ha!!!!!!
If that's true, the coyote would be a Registered Democrat.
Now, kees me you fool!!!!
PUP SUPPORT - Hysterical!!!
Off Topic
The IL Sec of State is now allowing transgender females to change their sexual orientation on their drivers licenses so that they can officially claim to be the father of their children. The Mighty Midget Mayor can now have her DemoRat pal "Jessie the Tumbler" correct her DL.
it's all about the priorities of the sick twisted liberal mind.
they care oh so fucking much.
If the glove don't fit , you must acquit! Drive this kind jackal to the neighborhood of his choosing so that he can indulge on delicious rats and designer dogs !!
Someone’s makin money off of this shit...
More distractions from City Hall. Cayotes vs. rape victims. Victims loose. Spends thousands of dollars on a 4 ft. alligator and the media can't stop talking about it. Alligator elevated to stardom while they sweep the murder victims and crime under the rug. All shiny objects to keep people occupied.
Wile E. Coyote, you are the father.
I have a release site for them, I am in need of another target just got a new varmint rifle.
He's hiding at swallow cliff in palos heights, CPD will not go after him since Foxx placed a bracelet on his paw and Wiley promised not to bite anyone for at least a week.
Just looking at the photo of Dr. Tom Wake and his buddy
Kelley from Chicago Coyote Control standing at the podium,
that's well over $250K/yr put together.
You solve the problem for cents on the dollar with the .22LR.
Hey, them critters were here first. And as long as city residents throw food outside, they'll come..
Great story to help obscure the real crimes happening in our city. Or is it that shootings, thefts, muggings, etc. are so played out that no one cares to hear about those anymore....
I call bullshit. They can conclusively determine DNA and what the subject ate for lunch in 12 minutes on TV.
Why is it you only see coyotes in certain neighborhoods?
Is it true that this coyote voted for Arena several times?
Your probably in more danger in rush hour on Dan Ryan than if a coyote was 20 feet away. Elderly woman walks forest preserve track by my house every day. Told me she has literally seen coyotes thousands of times and never had issue. She laughed when told her i was afraid of them.
I have several coyotes coming into my yard that I feed. Given time, I think they would make good pets. If more people would feed them they wouldn’t go around doing the things people say. It’s cold out there have a little compassion for our furry friends.
Leave the Coyote alone ... those dirty fucking geese need some natural predators, shitting all over everything like they own the place.
All public relations.
And the feral predator is still caged? How tender, how accepting, tolerant and welcoming.
It ain’t Groot’s walking around pocket money paying, so no expense is spared.
Imagine you're a six year old boy . You're prancing along. You get happy when you spot a little furry doggie.
You continue to walk along the path ... BAM!
A FUCKIN’ COYOTE RIPS OFF PART OF YOUR HEAD! YOU’RE ALL BLOODY IN PAIN AND LAYIN' ON THE GROUND IN LITTLE BLOODY PIECES.
Now, I ax ya...would you give a shit what kind of DNA the son of a bitch who just bit you has?
So after this DNA test, the City is going to ship this coyote off somewhere else if it doesn’t come back positive?
And who’s to say that DNA was properly collected and properly contained from the six year old?
All nonsense from this twisted fucked up city.
And what happens if the test reveals that this isn't the biting coyote, but conclusively proves that he fathered a few dozen litters and hasn't paid a dime in pup-support in years?
____
Then he is eligible to get a luxury section 8 apartment and all the entitlements the government has to offer on the backs of the taxpayers. Oh, and if he chooses to commit crimes it's all good too, we got the the biggest crime fighters in the nation here, fox and prickwrinkle.
Off topic, where's Eddie Johnson????
My 172 pound English Mastiff used to play with coyotes.. Nearby wooded area. No problems whatsoever.
I'm not going to be surprised if his DNA reveals he's 1/1024th Cherokee.
https://abc7chicago.com/former-mrs-florida-gets-prison-time-for-social-security-fraud/5841827/
From what I heard the coyote was wearing a MAGA hat when he bit the guy in the ass. Crimesha let him off witha fine. Its the same sentence afforded to many feral coyotes.
Just another dog getting DNA tested
And the coyotes (human smugglers) get to enjoy a mayor mandated sanctuary city, without fear of incarceration. Coyotes (human smugglers) cause more pain, death, rape and other crimes than every 4 leaded coyote in the world. Somethings wrong with this picture.
Chicago needs to be a sanctuary city for the four legged coyotes too.
Around 2009, the Lincoln Park Zoo paired with a university in Chicago,forgot which, to release 35 radio collared, breeding pairs of coyotes to track their range and behavior in the city. These coyotes were seen often up in the 1st and 18th districts roaming their grounds. During the NATO summit there were at least 50 coppers in the 18th district parking lot when a lone coyote walked right thru the group. They lost the fear of humans after the do-gooders began feeding them dog food from their hand.
Have the results announced on a Muary Povich show.
Did They get a judge to sign off on search
warrant? Did they complete the proper ISR? Geeez what awaits us in Chicago.
Anonymous Anonymous said...
Coyotes are very athletic but not strong. A trained pitbull or Rot can take up to 4 coyotes at a time. Coyotes are most dangerous to very small dogs and definitely cats. The vast majority of coyotes in Cook County are under 50lbs.
1/12/2020 12:26:00 AM
Not even that big. Most are around 25-30lbs. They have a lot of fur which makes them look bigger.
Coyote going on Maury show and claim he be 110% sure he not be all da Yotes daddy and dat da Yotes momma a ho! HUH?
Wild 'Yotes vs Feral 'Yutes
Cage Match of the Century. See the K-9 take on the Tac-9. Sunday at the Mc Cormick PL.
Unfucking believable. There's no reason to DNA test this coyote. It's not a poor hungry animal, it's a fucking predator. Put it down period.
If true, the MSM reported that Chiraq has captured 60 yotes, put electronic monitoring on them and released them back in the city. How Fucking stupid can you get.
Sounds like Tom Darts Darts monitoring of the crook county jails Yutes.
There have been multiple sightings of Coyotes within Cook County. Merely seeing one is NOT reason to call 911. However, there are certain behaviors that are cause for alarm.
Specifically:
Coyotes carrying any product marked "ACME."
Coyotes dropping anvils from hot-air balloons.
Coyotes posting signs such as "detour" or "free birdseed."
Coyotes in the possession of a giant magnet.
Coyotes in possession of a catapult.
Coyotes detonating TNT.
Coyotes on roller skates with rockets attached.
there are two ways to test DNA: The Illinois State Police or a private lab. Many of the suburbs use a private lab. Not sure what animal control uses.
OT: Baltimore has a problem with the Amish.Twelve individuals were shot Saturday, five of them fatally, in Democrat-controlled Baltimore. CBS reports the shootings began around 2:30 a.m. and ended just before 11 p.m.
The Red Line is having “No Pants Ride” this weekend. Yes, you read that right, look it up. No wonder this city is a shit hole.
Shoot and kill these 4 legged fucks. They maul people. Retired and still living here. Got to wake up and get the flyin fuck outta here. No reason to stay. Took me a while but fuck here. And fuck fla. Too many fucks on east coast from upper east coast states. White trash. Arizona here we come!
No shame or just really really stupid?
Is there another reason why the Chicago Media reports this with a straight face and no questions asked????
DNA my ass.
"I took a DNA test, found out I'm 100 percent dat bitch."
---- Lizzo
Bring back 'Alligator Bob". Maybe he can catch coyotes also?
Wiley E. Coyote...You are the Father!!!
Proof that coyote bites are far worse than rapes. Only in Chicago you ant make this stuff up. Put the stinking ann map down.
Labels: sarcasm AND silliness
Rumor of the day is coyotes taste a little bit like canine...
Just kill the damn things. Fuck PETA. The next human that gets mauled may be a friend, family, or even you.
Are there many four legged rats in your fair city? This is the thing about coyotes, they love to kill and eat those little friendly rodents.
The biggest complaint about coyotes is they’re howling at night which pisses off the dog.
10+ years ago cpd put down a mountain lion and were considered animal killers
these tree huggers , animal rights liberals need to move in the jungles of Austin , Englewood ,Roseland live in the streets with the most dangerous animals on two legs , with the brain of a fish.
one year for rape kit results to come back but weeks for a coyote...makes sense
TIP SCC COOK County Jail led nation last year in refusing ICE holds. Not a word from local media.
https://www.bizpacreview.com/2020/01/12/ice-says-cook-county-released-over-1000-illegals-with-criminal-records-last-year-after-refusing-detainers-875118
SCC / off topic;
Sorry scc. I could not paste the following: please Google:
Serial Slugger arrested again.
This is in the New York Post
UNREAL!! This fucking savage is being arrested EVERY DAY and is given an I bond.
He beats women in the head.. knocks their teeth out.. kicks them in the head.
Liberalism is out of control in NYC.
That no pants ride great idea. Then they wonder why they get assaulted. If you put it out there you must want it used. Hope the community takes advantage of these fools. They deserve what ever comes their way.
I expect they want the DNA test on the captured coyote so that if it is a match to the coyote DNA left behind by the one who attacked the child and/or the man, and the captured coyote tests negative for rabies, then the man and child will not have to endure the rabies shots.
Lol Baltimore 12 shot and five killed, just an average weekend for Chicago. Nothing to see there. The Chicago carnage do sent even make the national news anymore. Not really news worthy if it a usual occurance.
Hey come on last year Chicago averaged 22 shot and 6 killed EVERY weekend, why is Baltimore getting all the good press with a 12 and 5 number.
Believe me 1:33 pm, AZ will not want you. You have a terrible attitude. Do you realize how many heroes from CPD and CFD live in FL? Do you realize how many heroes from across the U.S. and Canada live in FL.? They are not white trash. Please get help....you need AA....attitude adjustment.
CPS retired FL
i hope the nitwit that claimed they feed yotes in their yard was sarcasm. ask anyone who has actually read a book on wild animals you never do that for 100 reasons. liberal fuckheads !
I can handle this four-legged predator. The two-legged predators prowling the streets (and City Hall) are another question.
Enjoyed all the humor but maybe its so the child doesn't have to under go a painful series of rabies shots. Don't know why it would take so long but hey it's Chicago. Hope the kid is ok
Get real they are coyotes. The tree huggers shouldn't be feeding them... hmmm there is the problem. The shity city ruined by DemocRats should leave them the fuck alone to eat all the fat ass rodents in this shit hole.
I arrested that coyote a number of times before, and the courts always let him back on the streets.
Simple fix. Just make sure that your offender description is a 2-legged wiley American Coyote. Now where’s my problem solving award and merit promotion?
Its all good.. catch and release in crook-county.
Its simply nature doing its thing. Plenty of prey for them in the city. Fat rats, squirrels, mice,and rabbits. They regularly travel the railroad tracks all the way into downtown, which often have thick brush along the right of way. Expect sightings to increase as the coyotes begin to figure out how rich in prey the downtown alleys are. Remember they are wild hunters.
Imagine you're a six year old boy . You're prancing along. You get happy when you spot a little furry doggie.
You continue to walk along the path ... BAM!
A FUCKIN’ COYOTE RIPS OFF PART OF YOUR HEAD! YOU’RE ALL BLOODY IN PAIN AND LAYIN' ON THE GROUND IN LITTLE BLOODY PIECES.
Now, I ax ya...would you give a shit what kind of DNA the son of a bitch who just bit you has?
So after this DNA test, the City is going to ship this coyote off somewhere else if it doesn’t come back positive?
And who’s to say that DNA was properly collected and properly contained from the six year old?
All nonsense from this twisted fucked up city.
I have a question, if the boy had been walking with a large dog, would the coyote have left him alone? Maybe it's time people get large dogs instead of small ones ?
1
I do think rape kits should be tested. I thought the issue was solved years ago, aformer governor( Blagoyovich) gave no ey to fund testj g. Is that all gone now?
Anonymous said...
Just kill the damn things. Fuck PETA. The next human that gets mauled may be a friend, family, or even you.
1/12/2020 05:30:00 PM
Hey dip wad, the coyotes have been around here a lot longer than you. If a person is too stupid to watch out for himself or their kids when outdoors that's not mother natures fault
Anonymous said...
Lol Baltimore 12 shot and five killed, just an average weekend for Chicago. Nothing to see there. The Chicago carnage do sent even make the national news anymore. Not really news worthy if it a usual occurance.
1/12/2020 08:03:00 PM
There are much greater odds of getting shot or killed in Baltimore then in Chicago based on the population
The biggest complaint about coyotes is they’re howling at night which pisses off the dog.
1/12/2020 06:07:00 PM
Yes, they do howl at night and very loud. The coyotes also chase the geese and just about anything else that is eatable especially when their is snow cover on the ground. Leave them alone
They should do DNA testing on "wilding youths". Get caught twice and get put down.
Hey come on last year Chicago averaged 22 shot and 6 killed EVERY weekend, why is Baltimore getting all the good press with a 12 and 5 number.
Because Bulletmore is putting up those numbers on a much smaller population. Around 600K vs. 2.7M for Chicago. When prorated per 100K population Bulletmore is WAAAAAY ahead.
They are the champions. We are the second city.
Anonymous 08:45:00 PM
Sounds like this person is our resident expert. They read a book on wild animals.
Anonymous Anonymous said...
Enjoyed all the humor but maybe its so the child doesn't have to under go a painful series of rabies shots. Don't know why it would take so long but hey it's Chicago. Hope the kid is ok
No shot is fun, but the painful rabies shots to the stomach are a thing of the past. Fewer and less painful, still hope the kid doesn’t need one
Coyotes are more important than Coyotes.......or something like that.
Dart needs to know what a coyotes favorite pizza is.
Didn't expect the.. ending. HA!!!
HOW many dog DNA test are given a year?
How much is each test?
WHy is a test given?
How much are these stupid coyote tracking collars costing tax payer every year?
8:14 PM. You are one of the reasons for CPS being screwed up Sir or Maam or whatever you are. You have no clue! Quit watching your TV shows and take your 16% raise and work your 7 mons a year. Probably NEVER lived in the city while cps. Grandfathered in to always live in suburbs to take care of mom dad or dog. BWAHAHAHA. Go drink some more and tell yourself that you made a difference. You and your small pension. You stole and know who you are. We do.
Uncle Lar- “...and then the coyote was incarcerated, registered as a Democrat, and is awaiting a court date.”
Lil Tommy- “Is the coyote gonna be OK”
Uncle Lar-“ Of course he is Lil Tommy, we’re in Crook County.”
Anonymous Anonymous said...
Dart needs to know what a coyotes favorite pizza is.
1/13/2020 02:56:00 PM
Rat. They like a rat pizza, according to downtown alderman, who has a huge pothole right in front of his house.
Camping in Yellowstone a few years ago we were warned to watch our dogs as a pack of four coyotes took down a Doberman in the camp ground. Came out of our RV and saw them several times eyeing us out. They were big and not afraid. Always had my Acme blundbuss on me.
Post a Comment
<< Home