A Dead Horse...Seriously
What an amazing city we have here. You can find anything if you wait long enough....even a dead horse:
- Several Chicago alderman are calling for changes to city ordinances after a horse was found dead in Englewood.
Chicago police and Animal Care and Control found two horses in a yard near 61st and Carpenter, after receiving multiple calls requesting well-being checks on the animals.
One of the horses was dead. No word yet on what caused the horse’s death.
Fortunately, we have inside information from a number people on scene. Using their amazing powers of deduction, the detectives have narrowed down the cause of death to two possibilities:
- heroin overdose
- gunfire
Because no one dies of natural causes in Englewood. Even horses.
Labels: sarcasm AND silliness
posted by SCC at 12:01 AM
78 Comments:
It's the horse that Prieb was supposed to ride out of town on. Guess that means he's staying.
Because no one dies of natural causes in Englewood. Even horses.
SCC 02/18/2020 12:01:00 AM
The necropsy revealed it was suicide with an underlying cause of environmental relocation shock.
Damn!
Mistuh Ed is dead?
Surprising that the locals didn't
shove it down the backyard catch basin.
June... July... August...
"Sump'n STANKIN' up in heah!
Call da Poleece an' make 'em
do sump'n 'bout it."
Hell... Dead human beings have been known to moulder away
in community catch basins for weeks and months and the usual
"we don't know nuttin'/why ya'll axin' US?" is par for the usual.
The real question everyone wants to know the answer to is:
But how long will “The Brothers Johnson” be able to cash the dead horses SSI checks for?!
Damn heroin a horse up... dear god
A necropsy will show that the gun shot was self inflicted after Burke failed to get it a job at the Burger King over at 51st & Pulaski.
O.T. - There's a crisis in Canada that's not being covered by our MSM. Lefty progressives have blockaded the Rail system across Canada for the last TWELVE days. Propane, Gasoline, and Food supplies are tightening, along with other effects. Prime Minister Soy-Boy-Black-Face Trudeau has been unwilling to clear the choke points with Law Enforcement. My point is, this tactic will probably come here after testing there. Massive disruption of the economy while scaring the public into demanding use of force, or the activation of National Guard units, is a revolutionaries wet dream. The optics could be awful as we get closer to the election, with a view to ruin Trump's and the R's outcome. I wish I could be a fly on the wall as they War Game this potentiality in Washington. I'm guessing that the Nation's exposure is Bernie Huge! So, what's the plan?
Old slang term for heroin was.... horse.
Harry smacked that skaggy horse in the snow with China junk.
Sad, the horse was trying to turn his life around.
One of the shitheads saw The Godfather and was trying to send a message to a rival gangbanger?
“Cheef Keef never gets that part.”
If dude watched Seinfeld, he’d know from Kramer that all you have to do is feed the thing BEEF-A-RINO. Though maybe he did feed him that, then he shot the thing cause he got too gassy.
WTF??!
What a way to go!
Surrounded by those assholes!
Gray death.
"A horse, my kingdom for a horse."
Was it Mr. Ed, uncle Lar?
Horse killed by horse doesn't that make it suicide? Anything to keep the numbers down.
The horse lost his battle with addiction just after he finally turned his life around. Standby for his 8th grade graduation photo.
Years ago the media found several emaciated, starving horses on a downstate farm. Turns out the horses were owned by a Chicago Fireman.
When they cornered the fireman to get his story, he blurts out a fucking classic line: "What do I know about raising horses, I'm a city boy"!! Laughed my ass off...
The 'Wood never ceases to amaze.
Now, kees me you fool!!!!
Ah......
I love the sounds of the roosters in the morning in the city too.
You did say dead horse in a yard and there were Two? WTF, were they horsejacked? Guess whoever patrols that area is really Fetal not to have noticed not one but two horses in a yard.
Horse dies of horse? C'mon!
Even the Horses tried to commit suicide when they found out they were in Englewood !
Groucho Marx
I once shot an elephant in my pajamas..how he got in them I’ll never know
I recently read on FB about 2 horses being stolen. I think from Kentucky. If I can find the post I will copy and paste here.
Unless the coyote is out on electronic monitoring.
C'mon SCC...stop beating a dead horse
The horse died from hoof and mouth disease transmitted by several Chicago politicians
Horse lives matter.
Not to kick a dead horse or anything, but “changes to ordinances”, that’s a good one. A fix for sure, Ha!
Everything else gets killed in Englewood. Why not a horse?
Wait a minute...are they saying that the horse possibly died of....HORSE?
Anonymous Anonymous said...
If dude watched Seinfeld, he’d know from Kramer that all you have to do is feed the thing BEEF-A-RINO. Though maybe he did feed him that, then he shot the thing cause he got too gassy
RUSTY!
WTF it’s narcotics related, let’s go make some buys in the area
Was the horse named Trigger? ~ R Rodgers
Stop horsing around!
That is horseplay for you... Englewood style!
Englewood lacks horse sense
So after the dead horse was found... was it beaten?
Horseplay befitting Englewood. Saddle up!
I know of a dog food company who'd take the horse corpse away and put it to good use...
And just like Al Capone, Charlie Beck was out of town
If that horse was in Englewood - was it a dead beat horse? Father of many foals... Saw none of them and did not pay colt support.
You know those Dine-O-Vite dog vitamins?
Well they have them for horses. No questions asked.
Ford Mustang.... Hey Englewood! You are doing it wrong, again!
Well, that is one half of the dog and pony show... Where is the dead pooch?
Ohhhhh Wiburrrr.
The Englewood glue factory comes under scrutiny again...
One horsepower less in Englewood... Better fuel economy however.
Ummm just because its Englewood dosent mean the owner was black,he's a Hispanic guy living there. The neighborhood is changing
Well, you can’t beat that.
Anonymous Anonymous said...
Old slang term for heroin was.... horse.
Harry smacked that skaggy horse in the snow with China junk.
2/18/2020 02:08:00 AM
..........................................
My first thought also, was that "horse" equals "smack" as well.
All of the Aldermen crying afoul about the dead backyard horse are proponents of their illegal alien-backyard chicken keeping constituency. (Pun intended)
So, who pays for the removal?
Who moves it?
How is it disposed of?
I think it should be the owner's problem. So why do I think the taxpayers are going to get stuck?
Good God,cougers,yotes,gators,now horses.what's next,sasquatch,unicorn,ivory billed woodpecker?
The horse had dirt on Clinton.
The horse was suicided.
A horse down in Englewood but plenty of jacka$s left
Think I bet him at Hawthorne the other night.
I wonder how many times the horse voted in the Democratic election. It's tough to get reliable animal voters these days. Well back out to the farm for a replacement voter. Its that or an illegal.
Was the horses name trigger?
There is a family with a 120lb pig in Uptown off Hutchinson. It sure is a sight...driving by and jesus mackerel, was that a PIG?!
Ooooooohhhh Wilbur!
a clash of cultures what we see as animal abuse. is nothing to someone else.
It’s The Englewood's, takes days and multiple calls to get a pizza, Uber or Comcast to come out, but Animal Control too?
Alligators, coyotes, equine...it’s no wonder the commissioner had recently quit.
Only in Chicago.
“Beltran brought the elderly horse here”... so he had the transportation, just no stable or interment plan.
And the feral pit bulls noshing on the carcass? Maybe it was just rats or old wounds either way if you have sickly horses in the backyard, check on them once in awhile.
I didn’t know horses were allowed in backyards. Chickens, pigs, walleyed baby groot-goats yes. Horsies no.
I had to laugh thinking of a Seinfeld episode:
“Who figures an immigrant's going to have a pony? Do you know what the odds are on that? I mean in all the pictures I saw of immigrants on boats coming into New York harbor, I never saw one of them sitting on a pony!”
A city with revenue disparities.
Only 25 bucks for a horse license. Outrageous!
Shouldn’t that be like a city suv sticker rate of $144 ???
And where’s JB-Hamhocks $151 cut too ?
I’m gonna bet no ANOV was issued for failing to pickup yard poop.
For the record, an IROCC for a cowboy gun is $75 per annum, but add a horse license and its 100 bucks be a High Plains drifter. Groot could rehire retirees on horseback to ferret out misbehaving on the Wild West side and in Englewoods.
Where’s the horse’s 8th graduation photo?
The horse had the goods on where the $1 million went for Bobby Rush’s technology center.
Who brings a horse from Mendota to Chicago-especially Englewood, to see a veterinarian? Surely, Mendota has qualified veterinarians.
I heard the horses had evidence in a federal investigation targeting the Clintons.
A guy looking like Lil Nas X was seen via POD cameras riding around englewood on a horse a few months ago.
See what happens when you leave the comfort of the farm and come to the big city like Shitcago. You end up as dog meat. Nether man nor beasts are safe. Reason #357: Another reason not to come to the killing fields of Chicago.
Anonymous said...
Everything else gets killed in Englewood. Why not a horse?
2/18/2020 08:25:00 AM
Bazinga!!!
Sounds like a case of HORSICIDE.
Only in Chicago. Laughing stock of the nation.
From what I read about the horse, the owner wanted to keep an eye on the horse, as he was older(age 28, that's old for a horse). He probably checked on him, but they can die suddenly. Usually someone calls a rendering truck, they take he horse and dispose of it. It is not illegal to have horses on Chicago, just expensive( vet, farrier for shoeing, hay and feed, horse dentist to float(file down the sharp points, their teeth grow their whole life) the teeth, etc. If a horse is not kept in a shelter, then he needs to be blanketed or fed more. Not to mention the waste disposal, and the fact horses can drink 10 to 15 or more gallons of water a day. I hope this helps.
This was my favorite post in a long time. Not sure, the Horse or Englehood. Disappointed about the lack of posts though.
People, squirrels, rats, coyotes, etc. What could go wrong? At least, kids liked the horses.
Is there a Korean restaurant in Englewood? That would explain everything.
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