Quick - Switch to Plan B!
All Units - Mission compromised - switch to "Plan B" IMMEDIATELY:
- A kayaker fishing for salmon off Waukegan Harbor on Monday morning found an unexpected animal in the water — a 4-foot-long American alligator.
Chicago resident David Castaneda had been paddling for about four hours when around 9:30 a.m. he saw something floating in the water, he said. Thinking it was a dead salmon, he went closer to check.
Instead, he saw an alligator head, Castaneda said.
“I went closer to see if it was real,” he said. “I was just in shock. I wasn’t sure if it was a real alligator or a toy.”
Castaneda called 911 to report the alligator, and Waukegan’s Animal Control responded.
The animal, which had its mouth taped shut, “was definitely on borrowed time,” said Rob Carmichael, curator for the Wildlife Discovery Center in Lake Forest, where the alligator is being taken.
Secret Agent "Bitey Half Finger Midget" should be assumed to have been tortured and may have revealed further information. All agents are to destroy existing records and assume primary safehouses are compromised. We'll be in touch.
Labels: sarcasm AND silliness
posted by SCC at 12:01 AM
24 Comments:
He is One less resident in Illinois about to move to Florida
Fresh water or salt water alligator? mouth tap ed where is PETA when you need them?
Cruel. I wonder how many days the gator was starving?
Are they sure it wasn't Rahm slithering around in the water, sure looks like him.
it was my gator. i was headed to lake forest to feed it to some local bears who found their defense.
just reliving the past. the mid eighties was a lot saner.
The owner should’ve dumped the gator into the Jackson Park or Garfield Park Lagoon. The reptile needs a midnight snack to stay healthy...
Chalk this one up to getting back in sync with your inner sarcastic and silly nature.
A warm up for things to come.
Alligators in the sewers........
Global warming strikes again
Kayaking is very dangerous to Americans. It's much safer for Canadians because they don't tip.
That's a horrible thing to do to a wild animal with relatively no predators and then to leave it out there helpless, tortured to see all you can eat but unable to eat anything :(
Could have been worse, might have been made into shoes.
All alligators are fresh water. Crocodiles are brackish or salt water.
With its mouth taped shut it would have starved to death before the cold winter would kill it.
What an uneducated kayaker!
Fried gator tail is tastier than salmon.
Are they sure it wasn't Rahm slithering around in the water, sure looks like him.
10/09/2018 02:11:00 AM
The gator was taller and had all his fingers.
Google, Chicago Cop Saves Chicken gets PETA Award.
The chicken has flown the coop. Repeat, the chicken has flown the coop.
Sure it wasn’t a cougar??
A chatty Democrat alligator gone bad?
I recall one that was pulled out of bed at 6 a.m in its jammies ten years ago. Has a friend called J.B.
Let’s see....
1) mouth taped shut.
2) found in a body of water.
3) left for dead.
All the markings are there. Times up.
A message sent to the Mayors Detail.
Ever wonder why you never see ex-Detail folk?
Besides wedding apparel, there’s also pit in the Ravenswood Manor basement.
Never go against the family.
People suck.
Who the fuck does this to an animal besides another animal?
People suck.
Shame it’s mouth was tapped.
Just think of the fun it would be coming onto say, North av beach??
Re: Are they sure it wasn't Rahm slithering around in the water, sure looks like him
That was hilarious! But an alligator is a wise hunter that uses stealth, surprise and brute force to conquer its prey. Rham looks more like a lazy snake who slithers from prey to prey but is more like a vulture, foreging off the hard work of others. No skill, no class, no power, just another in the parasite class.
10/09/2018 02:11:00 AM
If I could have I would have liked to cut the tape on its jaws and let it go on its way.
As long as there is only one it won't breed.
Too funny of a story to comment on.
As long as there is only one it won't breed.
10/09/2018 04:40:00 PM
1. There is never only one.
2. Was it a pregnant she? Alligators have yet to gender fluid.
3. Sans taped jaw, Alvin Alligator, finding self far, far, far, from native environs, went searching. Upon discovering an inlet exit from the vast wasteland of endless, shoreless vistas, Alvin wearily ventured up the familiar path, sided by shore, and, met true love, eventually. But that, children, is a tail for another day......
Post a Comment
<< Home