One Way to Downgrade Crime
- NBC New York described a January 9, 2019, alleged home invasion suspect whom a resident had to shoot as an “unwanted house visitor.”
Breitbart News reported that the home invasion suspect was allegedly armed when he attempted to enter the home and the resident wrestled away his gun and shot him with it. The suspect, 29-year-old Terrence Coulanges, died after being transported to a hospital.
It was only a matter of time:
- illegal alien = undocumented worker
- drug dealer = unlicensed pharmacist
- bank robbery = improper withdrawal
Add your own in the comments!
Labels: crime, out-of-state, silly people
posted by SCC at 12:01 AM
44 Comments:
minor illegal alien = dreamer
Cook County Courthouse = Abortion of Justice Clinic
Chicago Media Reporter - Rahm Butt kisser
Carjacker= Unlicensed rental agent?
Surprise sex.
Carjacker = Undocumented, independent Uber Driver
Murderer = Undocumented Horseman of the Apocalypse
Arsonist = Undocumented illumination specialist
reporter-terrorist, sorry that would be accurate...more like...reporter-reporter
I didn't kill that "unwanted house visitor" - I prematurely afforded him the opportunity to release the water, carbon, and other trace elements he was containing while existing on the earth. It's all just semantics!
Carjackers a.k.a forceful car borrowers
Last name just rolls right off your tongue
Give the man the key to the city, just like how Superman use get it back in the day. Hopefully a gun shop gives him a voucher for a gun and range time too
The word criminal will be replaced by "Legally Challenged"
Makes more since than downgrading charges or dropping them just to insure you get a conviction. This whole state is F-up. Right is left and up is down.
Rapist = Mystery Date
Is he a dream or a dud?
It's like a Democrat. Sanity challenged.
Unwanted house visitor hahahahaha that is fucking great. Someone get this writer a Pulitzer. The unwanted house visitor became an unwanted storage unit for the projectile fired from the fully automatic military style assault pistol. Fucking morons these people. At least it’s a good laugh. Unwanted house guest...classic haha
I did an improper withdrawal once and it cost $400 a month until he was 18yrs old
Chikago; People's and Folk's Democrapic Socialist Republik of Free Shit for the Entitled and Aggreived
Okay.
SCC sets the table:
illegal alien = undocumented worker
drug dealer = unlicensed pharmacist
bank robbery = improper withdrawal
+ armed home invader = uninvited visitor
The Challenge:
What forms will our 2019 vintage Orwellian newspeak take next?
Well, we have already seen:
Aborted fetus = excess tissue removal
Muggings = just funnings
Violent assault & battery = just clowning
Forced Rape = a little rough lovin'
Forced Rape w/deadly weapon = kinky sex
Sexual Assault while victim unconcious = surprise sex
Sexual Abuse of Minor = birds do it, bees do it, even edumacated fleas do it.....
Stalking = soft & sweet & slim & lovely, the girl from ipso facto goes strollin' and when she passes, each time she passes, oh well......
Forced Rape + Robbery = sexual and economical emergency
Indicted democrat = reelected pillar of community
DUI = uninhibited motorist
Theft by Deception = I shall gladly pay you Tuesday......
Theft by Deception of Senior Citizen = premature inheritance. (also: she/he won't notice.....)
Felonious Rape of Non Human Creature(s) = pre tenderizing the meat before grilling.
2nd Degree Murder = Doh!!
1st Degree Murder = Murphy's Law violation
Arson for Profit = cashing out waning investment (alternate: cashing out while the market is hot)
Arson for Profit w/ Fatalities = wrong place, wrong time, wrong landlord
Domestic Violence = dat bitch/punk had it comin'!!!!
Domestic Violence w/injuries = most accidents occur in the home.....
Child Abuse, various = spare the rod, spoil the child.....
Child/Elderly Neglect = cultural differences
Murder by Strangulation = flawed application of Heimlick/CPR/baby, it's cold outside.....
Mob beatings of random tourists = 21st century Whack-A-Mole
Strong Armed Robbery = Always Be Closing
Terrorist Bombing = celebrate diversity!!!! With a bang.
Rioting = letting off a little steam
Embezzlement = equal pay adjustment
Forgery = absentee ballot casting
Massive Election Fraud = ballot harvesting + democrats standard practices
Malfesceance = wat dat????
Cashing dead momma's SS checks = mommy sure does wuv snuggums.....
Enough?
CPD high ranking officers -- clouted ass lickers
Shoplifter - uninvited inventory control specialist
I was trying to put holes in that guys jacket when I shot my gun. Not my fault he was in it.
thieving rotten politician = Chicago democ"RAT"
Lots of improperly licensed pharmacists on west side corners.
Undocumented Fire Arm
Elevated Rate of Travel
Excessive Round Discharge Within the City Limits
Apple Picking Out of Season
Failure to RSVP to the Judge
gang banger=social athletic club member
This is what the “millennials” want today.
Everybody has to share in the fault. Have to establish the ratio between victim and offender.
journalist = propaganda officer
college professor = commissar of re-education
aclu = punk-ass sjw's
democrat = bolshevik
street gang = democrat fundraising org.
democrat voters = useful idiots
community organizers = truly useful idiots
crook county = crook county
city council = politburo
I could go on and on
rapist = unauthorized weiner inserter
"Tape now is "unauthorized penetration".
Felony Retail thief- no longer shoplifter, Seattle actually is calling them Needy no-money shoppers
Drinking beer on the public way- Dehydrated Needy citizen
Sleeping/defecating on the public way- Unhoused Needy tenant
Evidently Seattle is on the way to making all kinds of laws un-enforceable. Calling them "Need Based Crimes" so they won't be prosecuted anymore......how did we get to this in such a short time here in America??? Un-believable.......
Anonymous said...
"Surprise sex."
1/15/2019 01:15:00 AM
>Grin!<
Good one!
Right up there with
"negotiable affections."
Independent Pharmacuitical Sales Rep
Murder = unsanctioned post-term abortion
Meth lab drug dealers = chemistry enthusiasts
Carjackers = youth in possession of stolen property
Extortionist = Ed Burke
Cop Hating She-Man = Toni Preckwinkle
Homeless = House Free American
Anonymous said...
"Surprise sex."
1/15/2019 01:15:00 AM
Heh...
...What you THOUGHT you saw, is in LOUD, colorful
and vivid disagreement with what you're getting.
"Uhhh... Ok... No... Wait! STAAAH-HAAAAHHPP!"
Progressive democrat= commie lite
Robbery = Economic Imbalance Adjustment
Anonymous said...
Rapist = Mystery Date
Is he a dream or a dud?
1/15/2019 05:28:00 AM
Depending on the amount of itching/burning/scratching
in/around whichever orifice(s) the rape tool was inserted?
Lol... Mystery Date...
He got eye holes cut through the brim
of that sky-piece alà Secret Squirrel?
Lock and load the revolt is coming sooner than later.
Democrat = Corruptocrat
Carjacker = Unlicensed Valet Service
Gang banger = Community Organizer
Wylding Teens = Market Research Group
Armed Robber = Leveraged Taxation Agent
Burglar = Home Safety Evaluation Expert
Drug Dealer = Recreational Activity Counselor
I don’t think putting Chicago in front of democ-rat was necessary.
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