Scooter Hunting
- Every afternoon around 4 p.m., when school lets out, Brandon, an 18-year-old high-school senior in Los Angeles who asked to be referred to only by his first name, goes “Bird hunting.” He heads for his minivan and, on the drive home, he’ll swing through convenient neighborhoods, picking up about 13 Bird electric scooters along the way, tossing them into the back of his car.
“I have a whole system,” he says. “I’ll go home, put the 13 I initially caught on the chargers. They’ll charge for about three hours until around 7 or 8 p.m.”—when Bird makes more scooters available for charger pickup. “Then I’ll go back out.”
Over the course of the next few hours, Brandon loops around his Santa Monica, California, neighborhood collecting as many scooters as possible. He brings back his bounty and, as his parents sleep, neatly sets them up to charge in batches overnight.
The next morning he wakes up early, eats breakfast, and drops them off in groups of three at designated Bird Nests, designated pickup areas for scooters, on his way to school. For performing this service, Bird pays Brandon, a contract worker, up to several hundred dollars a night. On one particularly successful night, Brandon brought home $600.
We can see it now - Scooter Cartels, staking out territory, snatching up scooters, beating or shooting rivals, and recharging scooters on extension cords run from city streetlights and unsuspecting citizen's residences.
Go read the whole article - there are more than a few exploitable loopholes that could make Scooter Cartels a real thing.
Labels: we got nothing
posted by SCC at 12:01 AM
28 Comments:
I charge my Tesla at the district. Its just electricity.
It’s the new gig economy.
Wait until the folks at Bird decide that the illegal willing to work for 1/2 of what Brandon is making is a better idea.
Illegal? Not our fault, he is contractor.
Every district has a paddy wagon, doesn’t it?
Set up a charger station at the district?
(Put everything in your BIL Name.)
Just be sure to kick some upstairs to sergeants and white shirts.
Sounds like an opportunity for a LA kid!
Hmmmmm, let's see. Scooter drive-by's. Cell phone and purse snatchings. People getting their brains beat out. Drunken fools getting plowed over by cars. What could possibly go wrong!
This is my scooter. There are many others like it but this one is mine. My scooter is my friend, I must master it like I master my life. You pukes will give your scooter a girl's name, do you maggots under stand that.
I would like to place an earl order for a stolen scooter. I want a new one before they ge beat-on. Please provide a contact number for the hooligan in charge of reappropriation.
If the goal of the New World Order is to make the US a shithole Third World County, this is an appropriate step in that direction. We need that streetshitter app they have in San Fran.
Santa Monica, huh. Kid really don't need it.
I wonder where he was accepted to college,
if any. Real action is in marginal places where
they knock off GPS units and send scooters
overseas. The independents work for themselves,
not Bird. Sort of like the dot.com bubble. Bird
has limited fair weather market and fewer and
fewer people ride these death machines.
Millenials gradually adulting and getting cars for
real jobs.
Don't call me Shirley
Scooter Cartels?
That's too much work for our brand of entrepreneur in Chicago.
Although Lamon Reccord (the starrer protester)
He's running his own taxi service nowadays and I think he's got a minivan. LOL
This doesn't hap0en in my Engelwwod neighborhood. If a group of 4 or more People start gathering we just shoot at them. If they are Folks, they are OK.
Does he pay his parents for the electricity? Do they know about his business? Does he have a business license? He had better keep his mouth shut or they will tax the shit out of him! He would be taxed out of business in Illinois, triple the fines/fees in LaLa Land.....
Hey- I give that enterprising young man an A+ on originality, work ethic and demeanor. He ain't out shooting at anybody, selling drugs
or hurting anyone. What is surprising is how friggin stupid some of these companies are....they are putting out these "vehicles" (paid for by whom?) with a literal "ransom tag" on them (again, paid for by whom?) so my guess is that some government entity is subsidizing these
"vehicles" so money is no object.......
Now one must ask.......who is going to pay for these here in Chiraq? Who is paying for all the Divvy bikes that have been stolen? Is this
just another political friend-of-a-friend making tons of cash deal? Another taxpayer paid scam on yet another stupid idea?
Talk about "fueling" crime ...
The only way they get my electric scooter is when they pry it from my cold, dead fingers.
Now, kees me you fool!!!!
But we have all dealt with those who, given the choice of working and earning $500 or stealing a quick half choke, would invariably choose the latter
Our best hope in this scenario is that Darwin rules and the morons come to rest at the ME's office.
Can this whole process be taught at one of our “STEM” schools?
Scooter services are for a decent populace. Chicago is not a decent populace. We all know this. But this will be quite amusing. Hertz rent a car was driven out. Car2go has been driven out too, since all the Mercedes Benz were stolen. Let's see how long this takes.
Soon you will be having Pot Heads driving all over ShitCago on these scooters, If I were the Policee, I would set up consession stands through out ShitCago and watch the fun begin!I think with summer coming,the Policee are sure going to have their hands full, should be interesting!
Convenient neighborhood?
By definition that sounds like profilings.
Likely a neighborhood that comes home early, doesn’t sleep late and doesn’t believe in accessible firearms to thwart criminal activity.
Nothing new - in terms of community entrepreneurial opportunities and low down, sucker-born-every-minute borderline thievery.
Loss is built into the business model so the company is up charging the Convenient neighbor and the local gubmint.
Many many years ago The Homeless of O’Hare used to collect the luggage carts and turn them in for some small change.
When they switched over to a new company (hint; insider) they eliminated the return deposit.
Every now then then thereafter the cart hustlers would approach tourists and valet their luggage to awaiting cars, etc....then refuse to return the bags unless they paid $10.
These cashless App-dependent idiots can’t control theft of a Mercedes Benz, how about a scoot?
Ha !
More of a crime against idiot than a enforceable property crime.
Expect the same Wess Coast trend coming here.
And speaking of scooters, remember those RAZZ scooters and motorized skateboards that would be stolt all over the community 15-20 years ago?
What about the lithium battery fire hazard Chinese boogie boards?
And gosh, what ever happened to Segways?
This like everything else, this scooter divvy will pass.
It’s ok. Bernie is gonna make electricity free for all. Utility bills disenfranchise.
Word is that Scooter Cartels are already happening in other cities.
They are called “juicers.”
Good for this kid for working instead of shooting up parks.
They were doing this in Chicago, it was in a series called SHAMELESS do not know which season but was filmed in the 12th Dist.
Somebody gonna bust that Lamon just like Capone.
Tax records, sir. Gasoline, mileage, insurance.
You must file a return Lamon. No, we're not picking
on you.
If the scooter ends up on milk crates with the tires missing is it a theft over or under 500.
The only way they get my electric scooter is when they pry it from my cold, dead fingers.
Now, kees me you fool!!!!
5/07/2019 08:52:00 AM
You had the money shot right there, staring you in the face, and blew it.
The punch line par excellence was: ...pry it from between my cold, dead thighs.
Alas, me bucko, even you pop a squib from time to time.
You should see the things that I can pop.
Now, kees me you fool!!!!
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