48 Hours Down; 24 to Go
Still no word from the Predictive Analysis Unit people for the $100 challenge.
But somehow, our readers are averaging 100% accuracy in "Post-dictive" Analysis - that is to say the total accuracy in posting where homicides have occurred in the past few days.
We figure this is the safest $100 we've ever bet on anything.
But somehow, our readers are averaging 100% accuracy in "Post-dictive" Analysis - that is to say the total accuracy in posting where homicides have occurred in the past few days.
We figure this is the safest $100 we've ever bet on anything.
Labels: sarcasm AND silliness
posted by SCC at 12:05 AM
35 Comments:
015 district shooting. Shots fired at police. Both P.O.'s are good. No one hit. Person of interest brought to A/5.
Heres an IDEA. HIRE MORE POLICE to work the streets and make more detectives to investigate the crimes. Anyone who has worked the streets for any time knows that a person just doesnt commit one robbery, burglary, etc. and stop.
3,000+ sworn police officers undermanned, UNJUST discipline and all smoke and mirrors.
WELCOME TO THE CPD!
i can predict what happens after a late night burrito!
SCC could you put together a list of units that are a complete waste. Then lets figure out how much money is being wasted. Obviously the predictive analysis unit tops the charts but who is next? I'd like to know if anyone had ever had any luck using the helicopter unit for anything. I'm not saying they are worthless, but I've never heard of them "finding" an offender. It's a big city so I'm wondering if any reader here has a success story using them.
I just can't get the picture out of my mind of the late Johnny Carson as "Carnac the Magnificent."
Maybe Ernie Brown as Ed McMahon can feed Goldstein the questions sealed in envelopes.
Welcome once again, O Great Sage... I hold in my hand these envelopes. As a child of four can
plainly see, these envelopes have been hermetically sealed. They've been kept in a #2 mayonnaise
jar since noon today on Jody P. Weis' porch. No one knows the contents of these envelopes,
but you, in your divine and mystical way, will ascertain the answers to these questions having never seen them before.
Priorities!
- we have a Dog Crimes unit but no Gambling unit;
- we have a Predictive Analysis Unit but no Auto Theft Unit;
- we have 7 Chiefs when 2 will do;
- we have 6 Patrol Deputy Chiefs when 3 will do(North, South, Central(lakefront)
- we have 3 Deputy Chiefs in the dicks when 1 will do;
- we have umpteen ADS ranks when that could be eliminated entirely;
- we have the DOC and CPIC; Ops Cmd will do;
- we have Tahoes when sedans will do;
- we have radios and PDTs, when they work;
- we have and carry rifles (some) but can't get trained and carry shotguns;
- come on the job and a 9mm Glock is mandated when off probabtion carry whatever you like (as long as it's striker fired;
- tout merit promotions but exclude patrol, the backbone of every police department;
- talk with gang leaders about reducing violence and crime but don't talk to your own people (Lt. Andrews;
- cry budget problems, then promote hacks to director and cmdr at subsantial salary increases.
I could go on describing this kabuki theater but you all get the drift. About the only thing the Predictive Analysis Unit will do is predict a crime will happen. Big whoop. I could do that without a computer, so SCC, they are not going to bet with you. They're losers, tried and true.
I predict a shooting in #007.
SCC could you put together a list of units that are a complete waste. Then lets figure out how much money is being wasted. I'd like to know if anyone had ever had any luck using the helicopter unit for anything. I'm not saying they are worthless, but I've never heard of them "finding" an offender. It's a big city so I'm wondering if any reader here has a success story using them.
I almost agreed with you. Here's a success story. On Aug. 26 or 27 I don't remember in the east end of the 003rd dist, a foot chase ensued where the offender was armed. The ensuing officers caught offender, officers could be seen searching area along the chase route. H1 comes on the the air and redirects chase units to an area along the chase route because the helicopter's heat thermal imaging device is picking up a heat source. Based on the information of H1 the weapon is recovered tossed by offender. That was the first time I ever heard of the helicopter unit being successful other than obtaining an event number for everything they do.
retired swami predicts shooting in4th district tonight
Anonymous Anonymous said...
I just can't get the picture out of my mind of the late Johnny Carson as "Carnac the Magnificent."
Maybe Ernie Brown as Ed McMahon can feed Goldstein the questions sealed in envelopes.
Welcome once again, O Great Sage... I hold in my hand these envelopes. As a child of four can
plainly see, these envelopes have been hermetically sealed. They've been kept in a #2 mayonnaise
jar since noon today on Jody P. Weis' porch. No one knows the contents of these envelopes,
but you, in your divine and mystical way, will ascertain the answers to these questions having never seen them before.
9/04/2010 07:42:00 AM
CARNAC: "Wrong, Preparation H breath!"
McMAHON: (Gruffly) "Ha-ha-ha-ha"
CARNAC: (Holding envelope to his forehead)
"M-2, Aunt Bea, J-Fled"
McMAHON: (repeating) "M-2, Aunt Bea, J-Fled"
CARNAC: (opening and reading from envelope)
"Name a Cruiser, a Boozer and a Looser!"
McMAHON" "Hi-oooh!"
I'm predicting they don't have a clue.
CITY HALL IS WHERE WE MARCH!
What is going on with Chicago? What is going on with CPD? I don't understand it. We have a mayor who has, numerous times, given family and friends high paying jobs, who has been a part of countless lies of having knowledge of hired trucks scams to family members getting fat city contracts. The mayor highers J-Fed who has NO knowledge of what it is or takes to be a Chicago Police Officer. The mayor pays this clown at almost 3 times the rate compared to what prior big bosses have gotten. J-Fed time and time again screws up, stabs police in the back or is just plain stupid, yet, he is a product of the mayor. There is so much you can say about how bad this city and department is run. Millions of dollars wasted (i.e. Olympics)or skimmed or just flat out stolen. The mayor has his claws sunken so deep into this city and our backs that he has thumbed his nose at everyone. Our fearless leader, J-Fool has turned us, the police, into a laughing stock. The gangbangers don't fear us, they laugh at us. What is going on? Our hands are tied. Now CPD meets with gangbanger and begs them to stop the killing or else................... parking tickets. Is this a joke? The city says we have 2.9 million which is more like 6 million- yet we are broke? The skyway and parking meter money is gone? Did all the illegals take it or is it all the free money we hand out? I am tired. Tired of how some people work their asses off so others get free money, free homes or free food. Tired of our mayor the crook. Tired of our boss the coward. Tired of all the talk. The mayor asks we march at headquarters. Sure, lets help out the mayor since he is a good guy. Right? So our pathetic union agrees? Are you serious? The march has to be at city hall!! The mayor hired J-fled. The mayor fucks our contracts. The mayor won't higher more police. The mayor holds all the power. The mayor is who you march against! Wake the fuck up! March at J-Feds? I won't be there. I will be at city hall- where we should be!
Anonymous said...
I just can't get the picture out of my mind of the late Johnny Carson as "Carnac the Magnificent."
Maybe Ernie Brown as Ed McMahon can feed GoldenJew the questions sealed in envelopes.
Welcome once again, O Great Sage... I hold in my hand these envelopes. As a child of four can
plainly see, these envelopes have been hermetically sealed. They've been kept in a #2 mayonnaise
jar since noon today on Jody P. Weis' porch. No one knows the contents of these envelopes,
but you, in your divine and mystical way, will ascertain the answers to these questions having never seen them before.
9/04/2010 07:42:00 AM
They couldn't predict a snow storm if they were standing in it.
We've got a helicopter unit??? Wow
015 district shooting. Shots fired at police. Both P.O.'s are good. No one hit. Person of interest brought to A/5.
9/04/2010 12:08:00 AM
Most of the above happened. Crime lab came out and left, so no shots fired at police. Goof lets rounds fly and police chase him. Police never saw muzzle flash and didnt see gun.
All Goldstein is doing is rehashing others peoples ideas. And now that someone has called him out on one of his ideas, he has no clue on how to fulfill it. This predictive analytical crap is all fluff with no substance cause the head of it is the same way all fluff and no substance. Fooled everyone with his bs, and they are going to spend millions to make it work and find out that ASKING A FEW KNOWLEDGEABLE POLICE OFFICERS WOULD ACCOMPLISH BETTER RESULTS.
J- what is your name, how do you think that creating another unit is going to improve this department or you image. You put a person in charge of this unit with 27 years less than me on the job and no stree experience and at almost twice my salary and you think the crisis solved. Look at your unit they can not even accept an honest wager. Mr. Director when you lose your spot ( if and when we get a new leader with balls ) the people who works with you better watch his or her's back because you are a coward just all talk. I am a short timer, thank god I will never have to work for you or with you. Make sure Mr.Director to tell your staff that for christmas you will need new knee pads. Oh one other thing can I use your crystal ball to see if I can win the lotto and how long I will have in my retirement?
In response to "I will be at City Hall":
Reams of Paper: $12.50
Pack of pens: $3.00
Ink used printing 2500 voter registration applications from http://www.chicagoelections.com/dm/
general/document_455.pdf: $15.00
Watching daley shit when 2,500 pissed off coppers and their friends and relatives march these newly printed applications from 3510 S. Michigan to the Board of Elections for filing at 69 W. Washington and proceeding to then march around City Hall:
fucking priceless!!!!!
OK, so how long before the DOC is disbanded? Don't they predict? Caluris has run that unit before and it was fucked up and now it's the same fucked up unit taking up POs Sgts and Lts away from the street where they are needed.
Instead of wasting manpower, they should outsource and privatize the analysis group to accenture or some other company. Everyone in that made up unit should put their boots to the ground.
If that director left his job to be the police, shouldn't he be the police? And not some techy fake cop. We need more policemen working not quantifying bs made up statistics from made up missions in order to play with the numbers to reflEct what u want to.
We nEed quality results not endles quantifiable non results.
I figured out Goldsteins computer model, he has a piñata that looks like j fleds head hanging over a map of the city. He hits the piñata busting same , and where the candy falls. Is where crime is gonna occur. Now where's my 150 k?
Instead of picketing at city hall, why not picket Daleys summer home in Michigan where her will be before he leaves for China. Also why not do a " Seat Belt Enforcement" on his route to the airport and gridlock traffic so he misses his flight to China. THAT would be a REAL WORKACTION!!!!!!
- come on the job and a 9mm Glock is mandated when off probabtion carry whatever you like (as long as it's striker fired;
9/04/2010 09:30:00 AM
No, can carry any of the striker fired as long as it's 9mm. The mandated Glock was changed awhile ago.
All Goldstein is doing is rehashing others peoples ideas. And now that someone has called him out on one of his ideas, he has no clue on how to fulfill it. This predictive analytical crap is all fluff with no substance cause the head of it is the same way all fluff and no substance. Fooled everyone with his bs, and they are going to spend millions to make it work and find out that ASKING A FEW KNOWLEDGEABLE POLICE OFFICERS WOULD ACCOMPLISH BETTER RESULTS.
9/04/2010 02:27:00 PM
That's actually a big slap in the face to a the PO's and supervisors who are actually set the foundation for the computer analysis and the programming that was working fine and was based on true knowledge of what was happening and what the department needs. Two people cone to my mind is a Sgt who was (now not sure what his role is) creating all the crystal reports which made lots of sense and were easy to track and understand. The other is a PO from down south who was lending a helping hand to all who needs it and analyzing incidents and calling people to watch out for stuff.
Ideas float around and supervisors "carry" ideas and "adopt" them as their own. That's why good bosses will always have a great crew behind them. Great bosses will give credit when credit is due!!!
Haven't seen it much lately but there is always hope.
20 and out!! Soon!!
Is that unit a joke or is this for real? You mean to tell me the cpd has invested in the use of pysichics?
DOC
Detective analysis
The latest name for mission teams:
wolf pack, true, etc.....
Now Predictive analysis Unit.
Enough of the duplication and waste of money on this dept. We don't need any more police officers behinds desks playing on computers, put them out on the street or make them detectives. Too many chiefs on this dept., including a super that makes more money than the pres of the US.
no gambling unit , that's mob territory
in the 60's and 70 and 80's superintendents of cpd were at one time lt. / co's of gambling unit protect the mob and you're superintendent material
4 shot at Rainbow beach,was that predicted?
I predict I am about to take a HUGE DUMP!!
9/04/2010 07:42:00 AM
CARNAC: "Wrong, Preparation H breath!"
McMAHON: (Gruffly) "Ha-ha-ha-ha"
CARNAC: (Holding envelope to his forehead)
"M-2, Aunt Bea, J-Fled"
McMAHON: (repeating) "M-2, Aunt Bea, J-Fled"
CARNAC: (opening and reading from envelope)
"Name a Cruiser, a Boozer and a Looser!"
McMAHON" "Hi-oooh!"
9/04/2010 11:05:00 AM
Funniest thing Ive read on this blog yet
I predict;
'Big Trouble on South Side',
'Send lot's Cops'!
Anonymous said...
4 shot at Rainbow beach,was that predicted?
9/04/2010 11:28:00 PM
Uhh add one more to that an hour later kid called from his house in 003 with a GSW through and through thought he could handle it without being seen. So make that shooting a 5 spot without prediction!
I almost agreed with you. Here's a success story. On Aug. 26 or 27 I don't remember in the east end of the 003rd dist, a foot chase ensued where the offender was armed. The ensuing officers caught offender, officers could be seen searching area along the chase route. H1 comes on the the air and redirects chase units to an area along the chase route because the helicopter's heat thermal imaging device is picking up a heat source. Based on the information of H1 the weapon is recovered tossed by offender. That was the first time I ever heard of the helicopter unit being successful other than obtaining an event number for everything they do.
9/04/2010 10:17:00 AM
Truth! I was there. Was pretty cool actually. Nice gun too.
I also have to mention the sad fact that it was only me and my partner and the TRU unit that originated the chase for about 5 minutes. Dispatch gave a disregard even though the TRU guys never disregarded anyone.
Worth a look.
http://pajamasmedia.com/blog/minority-report-style-predictive-policing/
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