Prepare the Lube!

Who are we kidding? There won't be any lube:

• After three years of negotiations, lawsuits and appeals, the Illinois Supreme Court this week will hear arguments from attorneys for the city of Chicago and the Fraternal Order of Police in a case that will determine the future of serious misconduct cases involving Chicago Police Department officers and the public’s right of access.

  The crux of the dispute is whether officers accused of severe wrongdoing may have their disciplinary cases heard and decided by a third-party arbitrator — as is the case for other municipal employees represented by labor unions — instead of the Chicago Police Board, which has been the city’s practice since 1961.

  Arguments are scheduled for Thursday in Springfield. A decision from the state’s high court could come before the end of the year, though it’s not yet clear how or when a new officer discipline system could be implemented.

Go read it all at the link. All we can say is we're damn glad we're gone from this crapshow.

Okay, This is Just Crazy Now

We've been pointing out for weeks and months now that after decades of under-sentencing and the complete destruction of any sort of trust in the judicial system, someone must have sent a memo out to Cook County judges to start sentencing criminals to actual prison time. All if this in an effort to instill confidence in democrats "really really hate crime - pinky promise!"

Now we have this crooked judge who is most famous for....:

• acquitting Whitney Temple for attempting to murder a Chicago Police Officer with his squad car, AND
• accusing unnamed Chicago Police Officers of threatening her after said verdict WITHOUT making a police report, WITHOUT notifying CPD Internal Affairs and WITHOUT notifying Sheriff Dart's judicial protection people AND
• slandering the blog about "doxing her" for saying she lived in Englewood - something that appeared on her campaign website.

....and guess what she did?

• Frank Burrell spent about 20 years in prison for a 1999 murder conviction that was later overturned. On Thursday, a Cook County judge rejected his bid to be declared innocent of the crime, ruling that the evidence presented during a Certificate of Innocence proceeding did not undermine her confidence in the original conviction or the 32-year sentence he received.

  “I am not at all of the position that anything presented in this C of I has undermined my confidence in the earlier rulings,” Judge Tyria Walton said. “I don’t think that, for me, the earlier findings were improper.”

There is no way this mentally deficient DEI judge came up with that on her own. Obviously, she was told by her handlers to deny this make up "certificate" so that taxpayers weren't on the hook for another outrageous settlement that only enriches the liars lawyers because that might endanger the reelection prospects of other Machine pols.

At it Again

The latest A.I. Instagram reel:

• video link here

Maybe these are the new "Friday Updates"?

More SAFE-T Failure

In spite of the effort by Cook County judges to hammer convicts with sentences that haven't been seen in decades, they're still failing to keep violent criminals in check via cash bonds or custodial restrictions:

• The system had three chances to stop Alex Cusick. Each time, he was released. On the fourth arrest, prosecutors say, he escalated from stealing restaurant tip jars and hopping a CTA turnstile to violently trying to rob a woman in the Loop. Cusick, 28, was arrested three times in five weeks before the September 5 attack. The first two arrests involved misdemeanor theft and trespassing, and the third was for fare jumping at the Lake Red Line station. He was released after each one. It wasn’t until prosecutors charged him with attempted robbery and battery that a judge ordered him detained.

  The arrests began July 19 at a restaurant in the 100 block of North Wabash Avenue. Staff told police Cusick was a “habitual trespasser” who repeatedly entered the restaurant, bought nothing, caused disturbances and refused to leave, a Chicago police report said. That afternoon, he allegedly stole the tip jar. Police arrested him outside, charged him with misdemeanor theft and trespassing, and released him from the station about six hours later.

  On August 15, it happened again. Cusick was arrested in the 300 block of North Wabash Avenue after a restaurant reported that he had repeatedly refused to leave and had stolen its tip jar, according to a separate police report. He was again charged with misdemeanor theft and trespassing.

  Neither charge is detainable, but Judge James Murphy III held him in custody for violating pretrial release in the first case. Judge Peter Gonzalez released him again two days later, according to court records.

  On August 28, Cusick was arrested a third time, this time for fare jumping at the Lake Red Line station in the Loop, CPD records show. He was released at the scene.

  Then came September 5.

You can read the entire story at the link up top.

But as we've stated numerous times, without an incentive to walk the straight and narrow - or at least to stop running up and over the curbs of a civilized society -  then your low life feels there are zero consequences for their actions and continues to act as such. At the very least, a cash bond that might be forfeited or a few nights in jail discouraged asshole-ish behavior for a short while. Anyone claiming differently is a moron....or a democrat.

How Far Society has Fallen

Is there nothing these demons won't do?

• A veteran Chicago police dispatcher was pinned inside her wrecked car, with nine broken ribs and two fractured vertebrae, when a man climbed into the back seat and stole her driver’s license and credit cards, prosecutors say. The man’s girlfriend then got into the front seat and began patting the injured victim’s waistline, apparently looking for more valuables.

  Victoria Mesarina, a dispatcher with the city’s Office of Emergency Management and Communications for 26 years, was driving home in uniform when another vehicle slammed into the driver’s side of her car in the 3300 block of West Douglas Boulevard around 2:30 p.m. July 3. The other driver ran away, leaving Mesarina trapped in the damaged vehicle. A bystander let her use his phone to call 911, but the wreckage and her injuries kept her from getting out, according to court records.

  While Mesarina remained trapped, waiting for first responders, prosecutors said, 25-year-old James Nelson climbed into the back seat, opened her purse and took a black coin purse containing her driver’s license and various debit, credit and gift cards. When Mesarina asked what he was doing, Nelson’s girlfriend, Mahogany Vann, 24, allegedly got into the front passenger seat and began feeling around Mesarina’s waistline as if searching for something.

Then guess what happened?

• Judge Luciano Panici Jr. denied prosecutors’ request to detain Nelson while the case proceeds and instead released him on electronic monitoring. Prosecutors did not file a detention petition in Vann’s case. 

Of course, because robbing a completely helpless woman isn't indicative of complete inability to live within the bounds of civilization. We'll bet they loot corpses at funeral homes, too.

We need street executions for scum like this. 

Interesting Read

CWB does a decent job outlining the ongoing problem of railroad thefts, something that doesn't get much coverage with crime being down:

• Freight trains passing through Chicago have increasingly become moving targets for thieves who board railcars, sometimes while they are moving, force open shipping containers and haul away cargo ranging from large-screen televisions and laptops to air conditioners and laundry detergent.

  Railroad investigators say organized groups target rail freight, while drones have become an increasingly important tool for law enforcement trying to catch suspects in the act.

  Over the past two years, the thefts have led to a steady stream of arrests on Chicago’s South and West sides, where some of the city’s major railyards are located. Meanwhile, a recent national analysis found that freight train theft has grown into a multimillion-dollar problem.

Nationwide, 75,000 thefts accounting for a couple hundred million dollars, concentrated in LA, Dallas, Memphis and of course, Chicago, specifically the west and south sides. 

Since Conehead and Dart have fixed downtown and the CTA, maybe he could move some assets over to the railroads?

A.I. is Crazy

Someone has been posting these in the comment section and we gotta say, we smiled a bit. As usual, you don't need a social media account to watch them:

• Instagram AI video #1
• Instagram AI video #2  

The Board member in the second video eating the chicken leg really cracked us up.

Hotel / Motel Rule

Saving Conehead an uncomfortable spike in crime numbers:

• A group of suspects broke into at least 41 vehicles in a South Side parking lot early Saturday morning, Chicago police said. At least 28 more vehicles were also broken into at another parking lot nearby shortly after.

  Police said the first crime happened in the Bronzeville neighborhood near East 33rd and South State streets just before 2:15 a.m. Four people in a black SUV approached the lot, where they broke 41 vehicles' windows. Police said it was not immediately clear whether any property was taken. The suspects fled the scene in their SUV.

  [...]  Then, around 3:10 a.m., a group of three suspects in a dark-colored Jeep SUV caused damage to at least 28 vehicles at a nearby parking lot in the 3200 block of South King Drive, CPD said. It was also not known if any property was taken from these vehicles, but some break-in victims also reported to ABC7 that no items were taken from their vehicles.

So almost seventy incidents of Criminal Damage, no reports of any Thefts at the moment, all summarized as two incidents. That's it. 

Two is way better than seventy for Conehead. 

This Again?

We suppose if it works - and by all accounts, it works too well - why change the methodology?

• Chicago police are investigating after burglars crashed into a Northwest Side business on Sunday morning.

  It happened at about 3:53 a.m. in the 800-block of N. Western Avenue, Chicago police said.

  CPD said dark-colored SUV crashed into the front entrance and multiple people then took an ATM.

Um, Chicago and Western isn't the "...Northwest Side..." by a long shot. Just because it's north and west of State and Madison doesn't make it "northwest."

In the meantime, if businesses aren't reinforcing their storefronts, putting up bollards, roll-down shutters, along with pointy-steel spears at windshield level, we suppose this will keep happening. The manpower situation isn't helping things either. 

Fundraiser Coverage

The photos included in the coverage are heartbreaking:

• Nearly five months after Chicago police officer Nelson Crespo was critically wounded in a shooting that took the life of his partner John Bartholomew, he made his first public appearance at a fundraiser.

  On April 25, Crespo and Bartholomew were with 26-year-old Alphanso Talley while he prepared for a CT scan at Swedish Hospital when Talley reached for a gun underneath a blanket after his handcuffs were taken off and shot the officers.

  Bartholomew was killed in the shooting. Crespo has been paralyzed from the shoulders down and has spent months recovering.

  Crespo was greeted by family, friends, and Chicago first responders during a fundraiser Friday in his honor at Old Crow Smokehouse in Wrigleyville.

Continue to keep Officer Crespo in your thoughts and prayers and if you are able, help out via any means possible. 

Off Duty Sheriff Wounded

Again, nothing good ever happens after midnight, and certainly not outside of nightclubs:

• Three men were shot during an altercation outside of a downtown nightclub early Saturday morning, Chicago police said.

  Police said the shooting happened near North Clark and West Erie streets in the city's River North neighborhood around 3:40 a.m.

  An off-duty Cook County Sheriff's correctional officer was among the people injured, officials said.

Quite a few of these shootings seem to involve multiple shooters, something everyone should keep in mind if they're caught in the middle of these shitshows.

Best wishes to the Sheriff's Officer for a speedy recovery. 

No Surprise Here

They're not in the business of educating students:

• Blue states with strong teachers’ unions overwhelmingly have worse student literacy scores than Republican states where educators don’t have as much say over policy, a shocking new analysis found.

  At least eight of the ten states where students had the worst literacy scores were liberal strongholds with politically powerful teachers’ unions, while just five were Republican and one was a swing state, a recent assessment from the Progressive Policy Institute (PPI) found.

  New York — where more than half of third- to fifth grade students failed their reading proficiency exams this year — was among the worst-performing states, and also had some of the strongest teachers’ unions.

They're in the business of raising money for left-wing causes, electing radical socialists and fracturing the family structure. Kids aren't there to be educated - the kids are there to be exploited and used as a cudgel to beat parents and taxpayers into submission.

They're succeeding, too, or have succeeded in blue state shitholes.

Don't Stop Ugly People

You'll get a ten-day suspension:

• A Chicago police officer unlawfully stopped and searched a student walking home from the bus, telling him and the person he was with that they were targeted because they were “ugly as f---,” according to findings released by a watchdog group.

  The Civilian Office of Police Accountability (COPA) reviewed and analyzed body-camera video of the incident that unfolded after three officers stopped a male and a female around 1:50 p.m. on Dec. 10, 2024.

Now, granted, it looks like they didn't properly stop the pedestrians, failed to document any sort of Reasonable Articulable Suspicion and didn't provide a "stop receipt" after concluding the encounter. But is was the "ugly as fuck" comment that landed the officer ten days off....and certainly a bunch of re-training modules.

But the important questions is....did they get the Blue Cards? 

Red Line BBQ

No, someone wasn't lit on fire....at least not this time:

• video link here

Don't worry, you don't need  social media account to see it. 

No Guns Allowed, but damn, BBQ chicken is all good. 

Dems Hate Crime?

Since when? If there were any actual investigative reporters still left in Chicago, you think they'd be looking at the sudden sentencing discrepancies in Cook County just prior to an election. It happened again:

• A registered sex offender who was out of compliance with registration requirements has been sentenced to 20 years in prison after he was caught viewing child sexual abuse material on a tablet at a Chicago Public Library branch in Bucktown last year, according to court records.

  David Rideout, 51, was taken into custody around 6 p.m. on September 15, 2025, after a woman called 911 to report that a man was viewing child pornography inside the Bucktown-Wicker Park Branch, 1701 North Milwaukee Avenue.

  Responding officers found Rideout seated with a black tablet displaying an image of a naked underage girl in a graphic sexual position, according to a CPD police report. A library employee told investigators that surveillance footage showed Rideout holding the tablet and viewing images of naked underage girls, the report said.

When we become Rulers of the Universe, Officers will be allowed to take this turd into the alley behind the library and shoot him in the f#$%ing head because that's how you solve this type of problem.

After decades of democrat rule though - where they're inventing terms like "minor attracted persons" - a twenty year sentence for looking at pictures isn't in line with decades of excusing perverted behaviors. 

What a Scumbag

This actually happened at the FOP meeting?

• Things got considerably uglier when a member questioned why Lodge dues should be paying for John's personal legal defense. Instead of simply answering the financial question, John turned it into a personal attack and brought up the member's deceased husband and her children. Catanzara told Beth Svec “ you should be thanking me for getting your ex- husbands full duty death benefits for Covid !” You could feel the air get sucked out of the room.

FOP has expelled people for far less than this.

Speaking of expulsions, a question for any lawyers reading: 

• should the current ruling junta lose their positions in the Lodge and the new administration opens an investigation into the questionable spending habits of the previous crowd (i.e. trips to New York, paintings, expensive steak dinners on the membership dime, etc);
• AND the investigation determines that these expenditures were not proper as they didn't benefit the membership in any way, shape or form;
• can (or will) the guilty parties be compelled to reimburse the Lodge for the improper spending on meals, plane tickets, hotel stays, etc?

We're just wondering. 

Giving Away Money Again

And this time, to people (or folks) that CRIMESHA HERSELF said were probably guilty of the crimes they went to prison for:

• Two Mexican men who were convicted of the brutal stabbing deaths of a Chicago couple, allegedly to help a woman steal their baby, are poised to get nearly $14 million from the city of Chicago over their claims they were coerced by cops into confessing to the murders, even though Cook County's former top prosecutor has testified she and other prosecutors never stopped believing the men were guilty of the crime.

  On Sept. 14, the Chicago City Council's Finance Committee voted overwhelmingly to recommend the full council approve the settlements with Gabriel Solache and Arturo DeLeon-Reyes.

  [...] Reyes and Solache were eventually exonerated and freed when then-Cook County State's Attorney Foxx declined in 2017 to pursue new trials against either man.

  The men swiftly filed lawsuits against the city and the police officers involved.

  They were later presented with so-called “certificates of innocence” by Cook County judges in 2022 and 2023, respectively, after Foxx's office again conspicuously declined to contest their innocence claims.

  [...] And in her testimony, Foxx revealed her office decided to not oppose the innocence petitions, even though she and other prosecutors believed both Solache and DeLeon-Reyes were guilty of the crimes for which they had been convicted. 

Crimesha has never adequately explained why she declined to actually do her fucking job and prosecute people that she believed, her staff believed and the evidence showed beyond a Reasonable Doubt that these two participated in the murders. Someone with half-a-brain would come to the completely logical conclusion that she was somehow compromised into acquiescing to the political winds of the time, likely financed by plaintiff lawyers. 

How about Crimesha sell her house and pitch in to the taxpayers she's screwing over?

One Hundred Years???

This is getting ridiculous:

• A man who got into a shootout with Chicago police officers during a hostage standoff in South Shore has been sentenced to 100 years in prison after a jury convicted him of 10 felony counts. But Steven Wade, 46, may face even more prison time. Prosecutors say he killed a woman in the hours before the standoff began, and that case remains pending.

  On February 27, 2023, Wade showed up unannounced at his ex-girlfriend’s home in the 12900 block of South Peoria Street after not seeing her for several years, wearing a bulletproof vest and carrying multiple bags. The pair spoke at the kitchen table, but the woman became uncomfortable when Wade began discussing his newfound religious beliefs, according to prosecutors. As a precaution, she called a friend and asked the friend to listen in on the conversation.

  While the friend was listening, Wade placed a gun on the table, claiming he had killed a security guard to obtain the firearm and the bulletproof vest, prosecutors said. The friend heard those remarks and immediately called 911, sending Chicago police to the home.

Is one-hundred years in line with ten felony convictions? Sure. Stack em up.

But....

There are multiple decades of precedent written into Cook County history. No one gets one-hundred years, even for multiple homicides. And if they happen to get multiple felony convictions, they end up serving sentences concurrently instead of consecutively.

These wildly inconsistent sentences are going to be an issue when the appeals go up the process. Hopefully, no one gets freed immediately, but reductions are a real possibility and you can bet the media won't cover those if / when they occur.

Just Saying

Guess who has COVID?

• Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez apparently has COVID — and the way the news got out feels like a dispatch from a very different era.

  Reporter Pablo Manríquez posted Tuesday that Ocasio-Cortez had told a colleague on the House steps that she had COVID. Video of the exchange circulated Wednesday, showing the New York Democrat having the conversation outside the Capitol.

  That quickly produced a second question online: If she knew she had COVID, why was she hanging around the Capitol?

Why? Because without the associated comorbidities, it isn't dangerous to 99.9% of people.

For those keeping track at home, AOC was vaccinated in 2020, 2021, boosted in late 2021 and may have gotten a further three shots, none of which actually vaccinated her. 

Don't fall for it again - it's an election year. 

Integrity Check?

Remember back in the day, the rumors that IAD used to put cash or look-alike "substances" in the backs of squad cars to attempt to "uncover" corruption?

This one looks like it went just a little too far:

• A body was found inside a new Chicago police vehicle on Thursday morning, CPD said.

  CPD said a man was found dead at about 9:15 a.m. in the 700 block of E. 112th Street.

  The body as found in the backseat of a new and unused police vehicle, CPD said.

  Chicago police said the vehicle has never been in service.

  A death investigation is underway.

We're going to start a rumor that the subject of this "death investigation" was placed into the brand new squad car with $1,000 in non-sequential unmarked bills. If any are missing.....

Someone is going to have a lot of explaining to do! 

Food Truck Given Away?

The General Meeting was yesterday - what happened and what the Hell is this?

• The FOP meeting today was a shitshow. JCAT said he and the FOP board gave away the food trailer to a charity controlled by his minions. This is a sad state of affairs. Will they take the FOP decals off the sides of the cart? We were told that the issue was lawsuit liability and that's why the cart was given away. So why the F did we buy it in the first place, if it's such a high risk?

Is this true or is this some proposal to give the truck to the non-existent unapproved charity that is supposed to be funded with $50K of Dues money? What is this Lodge liability for exactly? Accusations of food poisoning? Or shielding the current admin from an audit of cash purchases? 

The charity would be controlled by the same people currently running the Lodge so....not suspicious at all.

We did hear Catanzara claimed that since the Federal subpoenas were a year old, there's nothing to worry about. Someone then proposed that the Lodge stop paying the liar lawyer $450 bucks an hour if there's nothing to worry about. The president ruled the motion out of order and refused to allow it to come up for a vote, so....there must be something someone is worried about.

Fun times. 

Sixty Years from Whom???

Honest to Pete, we can't recall a string of massive sentences like this since the 1980s when the "crack wars" were in full swing:

• A homeless man who officials said spent nine days attacking women in downtown Chicago, culminating in the killing of a doctoral student from Maryland, was sentenced to 60 years in prison Tuesday.

  Anat Kimchi, a 31-year-old criminal justice researcher, was visiting a friend when she was attacked in the Loop on a Saturday afternoon in June 2021. As Kimchi walked in the 400 block of South Wacker Drive, Tony L. Robinson, now 46, grabbed her from behind and stabbed her in the neck and upper back with a knife, prosecutors said.

  A witness who saw the attack from a nearby park initially thought Robinson was trying to rob Kimchi. But Robinson fled with only her sweater. The witness briefly confronted Robinson but backed off when Robinson threatened him and went to Kimchi’s side and held her until paramedics arrived.

  DNA recovered from a shirt discarded near the murder scene matched Robinson. Surveillance video showed him approaching Kimchi from behind before the attack, then running with a knife in his hand and throwing the weapon into the Chicago River.

And you'll never believe who the judge was who applied this sentence after the jury verdict:

• Robinson took the murder case to trial in May, and a jury quickly returned guilty verdicts on two counts of murder. On Tuesday, Judge John Lyke handed down the 60-year sentence. Robinson must serve 100% of the sentence under state law.

Guess he's trying to burnish his image headed into the election.

Idiot

What a great screening process CPD has:

• A Chicago man has been sentenced to three years in federal prison for smuggling five firearms and more than 1,700 rounds of ammunition into Mexico. A Chicago police officer is accused of helping him buy two of the guns.

You can read the whole thing at the link up top, but seriously. Throwing away a six-figure job for a gangbanging piece of shit that was going to throw you under the bus the second they got caught dirty. Real brainiac there. 

The officer is scheduled to plead guilty shortly so he'll have a federal conviction on his record.

OEMC Update?

And some workers aren't happy about it:

• By the time the clock strikes midnight on a single Tuesday, Chicago's 911 dispatchers will have fielded nearly 10,000 calls for police, fire and ambulance services.

  Of those, some of them are life-or-death pleas for help. But now, some operators and dispatchers who answer those calls say warn 911 chaos will arrive when a new computerized dispatch program is implemented.

  Chicago's Office of Emergency Management and Communications has been handling the city's emergency calls on West Madison Street for more than 30 years. On Sept. 22, a new computerized dispatch system is set to be rolled out under a $75 million contract with Central Square, a company that has been renovating OEMC technology for the past several years.

  But some dispatchers who have contacted NBC 5 Investigates are less than enthused about the coming change.

We were among the last Officers who handled radio calls from 11th and State before they switched to the current OEMC building, so we experienced the growing pains associated with the system alongside the dispatchers and call takers.

The biggest complaint we remember back then was how the system was cobbled together from assorted low budget bids - the police radios were Motorola, the squad car computers were Badgers (?) or some other rodent and the OEMC computers were a completely separate system that we can't remember....

....and none of them worked well with each other because each system was a separate government bid to spread out the graft and crooked contracts. We were told that Motorola offered to coordinate / sync up all the systems, but the bribe money wasn't enough to sway the City Council people.

But we survived and kind of made it work, probably because the dispatchers were awesome. No idea if that's the case any more. 

Tooting his own Horn

We're still surprised Dart isn't running for mayor:

• A three-year effort by the Cook County Sheriff's Office to help bring down crime on the Magnificent Mile in downtown Chicago appears to be working.

  A group of 40 to 50 sheriff's officers patrol the Mag Mile every day of the week, and have made more than 100 arrests so far this year.

  It's a concerted, concentrated effort by Cook County, following years of crime plaguing Chicago's most prominent shopping district, and record vacancy rates in buildings along the Mag Mile.

  "It was happening on a massive scale. We were getting to operations that were getting $10,000, $20,000. $100,000 of stuff that was being stolen," Cook County Sheriff Tom Dart.

  His office started running the targeted law enforcement operation on the Magnificent Mile in 2023, and has made more than 415 arrests since then.

  In one recent case, sheriff's officers arrested a man who stole about $8,000 in merchandise from the alo clothing store, and was later found to have three active warrants.

Maybe he's looking at Prickwrinkle's job? 

HeyJackass.com Back?

They seem to have updated the weekend numbers pretty close to their usual schedule.

Hopefully, their short break was just that - a short break.

Welcome back if true. 

UPDATE: from the comments:

• Hey SCC. We've been back for a couple of weeks now, but only with occasional updates. Going forward, we'll be looking at posting once a week, likely on a Monday or Tuesday. Beyond that, we're planning on a total overhaul given the extreme age of the underlying infrastructure.  

Someone is Getting Fired

....and arrested probably:

• A child fired a gun after a man left it on a school bus on the city's South Side on Monday afternoon, Chicago police said.

  Police said a man left a bag unattended outside of Minnie Miñoso Academy near West 35th and South Wallace streets in the Bridgeport neighborhood just before 2:30 p.m.

  A 12-year-old boy found the bag, took a firearm from inside, and discharged one round, shattering a bus window, police said.

  Police said the man then took the gun and bag before fleeing. Police have not identified the man or said how he might be connected to the school or transportation provider.

There's usually only one adult on a school bus - the driver. If there's a second adult, it's usually someone attached to a special needs child. So the suspect count here is probably two.

No word if this was a CPS / CTU employee headed to a White Sox game....speaking of which, have they closed that case yet with the CTU member hiding a gun in her fat folds before suffering a negligent discharge in the stadium? The lies and fictions they're going to have to invent to make that one disappear will be legend.

Hero Garbageman

One of the robbers he shot just got eight years - the other one got a funeral:

• A garbage collector shot two men who tried to rob him outside a Chicago charter school last year, killing one and wounding the other. On Monday, the surviving robber, a Hammond, Indiana, man, received an eight-year sentence.

  The victim, a concealed carry holder, was working alone when 22-year-old Aaron White and his much larger accomplice, 42-year-old Kenneth Elliott, approached him near the back of his garbage truck in an alley next to DRW College Prep, 931 South Homan Avenue, around 5:18 a.m. on January 31, 2025.

  Surveillance video obtained by CWB Chicago shows the victim walking along the driver’s side of the truck toward the rear, where he encounters the two men approaching from the passenger side. (The video may be viewed here. Discretion advised.)

Glad to see this one finally come to a conclusion. Hope the victim is doing well, is still employed and is still packing on the west side.

Whoa Whoa Whoa

You can't demonize the parents of demons, can you?

• The senseless murder of a Chicago 911 calltaker in Back of the Yards on Friday has a Chicago alderman blasting Mayor Brandon Johnson’s administration for failing to help make improvements in the neighborhood and “gangbanging parents” for passing a love of violence on to a new generation.

  Natalia Rodriguez, 50, was shot and killed while driving in the 4500 block of South Wood Street shortly after midnight Friday. Ald. Ray Lopez (15th) said she was in the area visiting family, and he suggested that she was randomly targeted in a “gang check.” Cook County Crime Stoppers and the ATF have teamed up to create a $30,000 reward for information leading to an arrest and indictment of the people responsible for her death.

  “Her loss is great because it takes away the thoughts of what could have been and also leaves a stain on a community living in fear of gang and gun violence,” Lopez said in a lengthy post on X. “Sadly, this gang mindset and culture is generational, where gangbanging parents instill this lifestyle in their children, continuing the cycle.”

What's next - blaming decades of democrat anti-family and anti-punishment policies for the generational dysfunction prevalent across most blue city shitholes?

Or would that be a bridge too far? 

Conehead is Running (so far)

Conehead has tossed his pointy hat into the ring, despite an approval rating in the single digits:

• After months of deliberation, Mayor Brandon Johnson on Sunday set out on the uphill road to reelection, launching a campaign that he said will force voters to “identify the difference between real progressives and posers” in the crowded 2027 mayoral race.

  Johnson spoke to an energized crowd of hundreds of supporters in a cloud-covered courtyard at the DuSable Black History Museum and Education Center. The block party-style event — with a sign-making station, tacos and campaign merchandise — was a who’s who of Chicago’s progressive activist community.

But as the Slum Times points out, Conehead has dug himself a pretty deep hole already:

• By waiting until after Labor Day to announce his decision to run again, Johnson has put himself behind the eight ball. He has less than $650,000 in his campaign fund compared to the $22 million held by frontrunner and Illinois Secretary of State Alexi Giannoulias. Johnson has the power of incumbency and has been making the most of that, but he still needs money to defend his record.

  He doesn’t need to duplicate the $12 million that allowed him to go from single-digit obscurity to the mayor’s office in 2023 in a campaign bankrolled and staffed largely by the Chicago Teachers Union. But he does need enough cash to run costly television ads.

So....is the CTU getting behind mayor 6%? Because that's about the only place he'll be getting any further campaign cash.

The real question should be "What portion of the electorate is Conehead trying to play spoiler for?" Supposedly, he has the CTU backing, but that spot is increasingly toxic. Is he in to deny someone else the lakefront progressives? Or to fracture the black vote? Willie Wilson, Matt Brewer and Danielle Carter-Walters each have their niche appeals, none of which will get them elected, but could minimize that formerly solid voting bloc into irrelevance. Pappas running directly against Giannoulious, Quigley is there to split the white ethnic vote, Cardenas is in to kneecap Mendoza at the moment, so he's likely a Giannoulious plant. Holberg, Nee and Kelly are non-entities.

Remember, the goal is to be in the runoff. Giannoulious is THE money guy at the moment. He thinks he's one of the top two finishers and he wants a weak opponent for the runoff, i.e. not Mendoza.

The filing deadline for nominating petitions is something like 26 October, so the field will narrow somewhat by then. Interesting times ahead. 

Whoops

Weekends like this we really miss HeyJackass.com:

• One man was killed and 6 other people, including a 14-year-old boy, were wounded when multiple gunmen opened fire Sunday afternoon on a crowd in Humboldt Park, police said. More than 70 shots were fired and, according to a preliminary report, a vehicle found at the scene was involved in a separate drive-by shooting on the West Side earlier this week.

  The shooting happened around 12:17 p.m. in the 700 block of North Christiana Avenue, near the alley between Christiana and Homan avenues, according to CPD.

  Six people were standing outside when two vehicles pulled up, and multiple gunmen got out and began shooting, police said. A 30-year-old woman driving nearby was struck by gunfire and crashed into a CTA bus, according to CPD.

  An officer who reviewed surveillance video reported that one of the gunmen, described as a Black male wearing a black hoodie over a white shirt and dark pants, appeared to suffer a leg fracture upon being struck by one of the getaway vehicles.

Gotta love when they run over one of their own. No doubt he'll be arrested at a hospital in short order.

No doubt these were all licensed Concealed Carriers with lawfully owned firearms, none stolen in suburban Park Ridge or anything like that. After all, it's impossible for felons to get firearms in Illinois these days. 

Not Again?!?!

A peaceful, church-going rapper cut down in the prime of his career:

• Six gunmen fired more than 50 shots in an ambush that killed Chicago drill rapper BloodHound Q50 at a Fuller Park gas station early Sunday, according to a preliminary Chicago police report. No arrests have been made. The up-and-coming performer, born Mikquale Cooper, was 22.

  He was seated in the driver’s seat of a white 2019 Tesla at the BP station at 4248 South Wentworth Avenue when two carloads of gunmen targeted him just before 4 a.m. According to CPD, the shooters pulled alongside Cooper’s car, and gunmen from both vehicles opened fire.

Q50 was known for such hits as “Long Live My Brudda He Prolly Kilt Yo Brudda” and “Get Back Or Die Trying.”

Like we said - peaceful. 

And stop demonizing. 

So How Was the Weekend?

Days off cancelled?

Mandatory twelves?

Involuntary deployments?

We don't miss it at all. Get to retirement boys and girls.