Funeral Arrangements

Full Honors:

• A funeral has been scheduled for next week for third generation Chicago firefighter Michael Altman, who died after being injured fighting a Rogers Park blaze on Monday.

  Visitation will be held 3 p.m. to 8 p.m. March 26 at St. Rita of Cascia Shrine Chapel, 7740 S. Western Ave., the Chicago Fire Department announced Wednesday. Funeral services will be held there at 10 a.m. March 27.

  Altman, who served on Truck 47 in Edgewater, responded to a fire at a four-flat in Rogers Park late Monday morning. When the floor collapsed, he fell into the flames, fire officials said.

Rest in Peace.

Offender Charged

From the Sergeant Shot incident:

• A 26-year-old Chicago man was detained Thursday after prosecutors said he shot his own mother four times, then opened fire on a Chicago Police sergeant minutes later, telling investigators he had been wanting to shoot a cop since he had a recent “spiritual awakening.”

  Judge James Costello ordered Treavor Taylor detained on charges of attempted first-degree murder of a peace officer, attempted first-degree murder, aggravated battery by discharging a firearm, aggravated discharge of a firearm, and aggravated battery of a peace officer.

  [...]  

  After being advised of his Miranda rights, Taylor told officers that he had shot his mother but hoped she would survive so that she would suffer, according to Pekara. As for the sergeant, Taylor allegedly said he simply wanted to shoot a cop, didn’t care whether they lived or died, and that he had been wanting to shoot a police officer for some time following what he described as a spiritual awakening.

  Taylor is also accused of attacking officers and a lockup keeper while he was in police custody. He was ultimately transported to a hospital for a mental health evaluation before being brought to court.

Bunch of felony charges there....he'll probably have to wear two ankle monitors.

Is This Psycho Still Free?

We can't embed the video - and you don't need a social media account to play it - but keep the volume down if you're at work:

• video link here

Somewhere, Charles Bronson or Bernie Goetz is wishing they lived in town. 

Just another day on the CTA. 

Crime Solved!

Not only was the crime solved, but many future crimes were prevented at the same instant!

• A 27-year-old man shot and killed a 16-year-old who tried to rob him at gunpoint on Wednesday afternoon on the Far South Side, according to police.

  According to preliminary information, the man is a licensed concealed carry holder who was working in the area of the 11700 block of South Normal when the boy approached him around 3:36 p.m. CPD said the 16-year-old tried to take unspecified property from the man while displaying a firearm.

  The man drew his own firearm and shot the 16-year-old in the chest, police said.

  Officers responding to the scene administered CPR in an attempt to save the boy, but he was pronounced dead after being transported to Christ Hospital.

Did anyone ever decide to run with that program where a successful Concealed Carrier shooting was rewarded with a free box of ammo?

Crime is Still Down

Just ignore the eighteen-year-old executed at the lakefront overnight:

• An 18-year-old woman was shot and killed in what was an apparently random attack while she was with friends at the Loyola Beach pier early Thursday morning.

  At about 1:11 a.m., a 911 caller reported they were running for safety after a man in a ski mask and black clothing fired a single shot at a group gathered at the lakefront near Pratt Boulevard. Other members of the victim’s group soon called 911 as well.

  Officers found the woman lying on the pier near the light beacon. She had suffered a gunshot wound to the head and was pronounced dead at the scene. Witnesses told police that the gunman emerged from behind the light beacon, fired once, then fled down the beach.

First year student from New York, seems completely random.

How many homicides does 024 have a year anyway? 

Arson?

Word came in from some former co-workers that there was a person of interest named in the investigation of the death of the CFD Firefighter Michael Altman. He has since been picked up on an unrelated warrant:

• Chicago police on Wednesday arrested a man sought in connection to a Rogers Park blaze that resulted in the death of a firefighter earlier this week.

  An internal bulletin issued Tuesday said detectives were “seeking to locate and interview” the man in relation to firefighter Michael Altman’s death earlier that day. The man was arrested on a warrant Wednesday at Thorek Memorial Hospital, according to police records obtained by the Sun-Times.

  The Sun-Times isn’t identifying the man because he hasn’t been arrested or charged in relation to the fire.

  He has been arrested at least three times since July 2025, according to Cook County court records. In October, he was placed under court supervision for a year after pleading guilty to retail theft. 

Three arrests since July 2025 and "court supervision." 

One of our commentators knows EXACTLY what that means:

• Can one of our brothers in the Detectives Division CONFIRM that the arsonist who set the fire was on Cook County Judges Electronic Monitoring !!??!!?? This is the direction we are going. By transferring Electronic Monitoring from the Sheriff to the Judge these vile criminals will run the streets with no metrics in place, public safety emergency as far as I’m concerned.

Yep, another person wandering around on Electronic Monitoring with zero consequences aside from a notification mailed to his last known address that he missed court.

Did he light this fire? 

Political Losses

From the Contrarian X/Twitter feed:

• Kat Abughazaleh loses the Illinois 9th.
  
  
  Junaid Ahmed loses the Illinois 8th.
  
  
  Kina Collins loses the Illinois 7th.
  
  
  Joey Ruzevich loses the Illinois 6th. 
  
  
  Robert Peters loses the Illinois 2nd.
  
  
  Progressivism loses in every race in Illinois. 

On one hand, this is good that they got knocked out in the primary

On the other, this is pointless because these are "safe" seats and the democrat that won the primary will likely still be elected.....and that is bad because they'll still vote the "progressive" agenda because they're too far gone to do anything else.

And speaking of too far gone, what was this?

• Brendan Reilly ran against Prickwrinkle for Cook County Board president and at the last polls before election day, was trailing by 20+ points the entire race - but that didn't stop Lodge 7 from making a $100,000 donation to what was obviously a losing effort;
• Stephanie Kofowit ran for Comptroller and was pooling poorly - and the Lodge threw $25,000 to someone who ended up finishing dead last .

Is the Political Action Committee going to be fired for these wasted dollars?

How much will they give Conehead and Fata$$ next? 

NYC Regrets

So after electing a islamic-socialist mayor who promised to de-fund police, pay for government run grocery stores and raise taxes along with all sorts of other crap, regular New York citizens are realizing how badly they screwed the pooch.

How badly?

• he is proposing to make the speed camera zones around schools active 24/7/365....when kids aren't even there and schools aren't even open;
• the speed limit will be knocked down to 15 MPH 

A money grab pure and simple to fund his impossible budget....and it's going to tag the common folks more than any millionaire or billionaire. And that has reduced the governor to begging for wealthy people to come back to New York so that they can pay fines there:

• Gov. Kathy Hochul is begging wealthy New Yorkers who fled the city to encourage their rich pals to come back and continue padding the Empire State’s lavish public handouts.

  Hochul made the case against caving to Mayor Zohran Mamdani’s demands that she hike income taxes — by saying she not only wants fat cats to stay in the city, but also by clawing at those who have moved to states with better business climates like Florida.

  “Maybe the first step should be to go down to Palm Beach and see who we can bring back home because our tax base has been eroded,” the Democratic governor said at a forum hosted by Politico last week.“I have to look at the fact that we are in competition with other states who have less of a tax burden on their corporations and their individuals,” she said.

Meanwhile, Hollywood "elites" are fleeing California and the multi-millionaire owner of Starbucks is leaving Washington for Florida.

H.L. Mencken said it best:

•  Democracy is the theory that the common people know what they want, and deserve to get it good and hard.

Gooder and harder New York (and California and Washington and yes, even Illinois.)

Larry Chose Option A

From last week regarding the exempt moves:

• Now the BIG question - does Larritorious delay the moves because word has leaked out? Or does he let them move forward and just admit that people can't keep secrets any more? 

So far, nothing.

But more moves than just the five we listed are due the first week of April. 

Will the first set happen this Friday or will everything be delayed for one single big announcement?

"Bag of Guns"

We had to read this one twice:

• A crew of armed robbers that Chicago police have linked to at least two other holdups this month surrounded a man near the Magnificent Mile on Monday afternoon, taking his valuables and a bag containing firearms before fleeing in a luxury SUV.

  The robbery happened around 4:40 p.m. in the 100 block of East Chestnut Street. Police say a 64-year-old man had just stepped out of his vehicle when a black SUV, possibly a Maserati, rolled up with four males inside. Three of them got out, displayed rifles and handguns, and stripped the man of his wallet, a high-end watch, and the bag with the firearms, according to a preliminary report.

  The robbers then turned their weapons on two bystanders, a 58-year-old woman and a 47-year-old man, but left without taking anything from them, a police spokesperson said. The victims flagged down a passing CPD unit to report the crime. Camera footage captured the plateless SUV turning north on Rush Street before circling back to Chicago Avenue and heading south on Lake Shore Drive.

  The robbers were described as Black males between 16 and 35 years old, dressed in all-black clothing and standing about 5-foot-7. Two wore white face masks and one wore a red face mask.

Who wanders around the Mag Mile with a "bag of firearms"?

And now, when these guns start turning up at crime scenes or in the possession of previously convicted felons, are we going to have to listen to Fata$$ and Conehead spout off about how lax gun laws in Indiana or Wisconsin loosed the offending firearms on the peaceful streets of Chi-raq (or is it Chi-ran now?) 

UPDATE: They're expanding their hunting range. 

What New Hell is This?

The single biggest thing we don't miss from the job:

• I’m currently sitting in the academy at the Impartial Community Policing class. Who in the fuck puts this bull shit into training? This is the dumbest shit I’ve ever been a part of.

This seems like part of the "consent decree" scam.

• the political powers-that-be implement all sorts of "progressive" or communist or racially motivated training for "slights" suffered by assorted "oppressed" communities;
• here's the grift part - some outside "consultant" firm of DEI hires comes up with a set of bullet points in a power point presentation for an 8-or-16 hour block of time. They charge the City and the Department hundreds of thousands of dollars for this lesson plan;
• some house mouse or pin cushion or future "meri-clout-orious" pick then reads the slide aloud to a group of coppers who know it's all bullshit, but they have to meet their 40-hour-per-year requirement, so they sit, happy to be away from the street for a day

Does anyone ever wonder why the training staff almost tripled over the life of the "consent decree"? Because the instructor #1 reads Hour One of the lesson plan, then go to lunch (or duck out) and instructor #2 reads Hour Two before they skate, etc etc.

When that Texas firm was here, we remember having seven different instructors for an eight hour course. They got replaced by a local grifting outfit once Groot was gone because why send that money to Texas? 

Business Unfriendly

We were correct again, years ahead of a lot of people:

• Chicago business owners say bike lanes and concrete barriers are driving customers away.

  One after another, business owners, operators and workers addressed the city council’s committee on pedestrian and traffic safety last week.

  Evelyn Almanza said her mother owns a hair salon and said business owners and community members are frustrated with the bike lanes on Archer Avenue.

  “Our customers don’t have places to park and end up leaving when trying to access our services. Many businesses, including my mom’s, are facing a decrease in revenue,” Almanza said.

  Bakery owner Juan Castro said the bike lanes are hurting his business and others in the neighborhood.

  “Why would I want to keep my business here, knowing that I can go somewhere else and have better access. You’re making people not want to live in Brighton Park,” Castro said.

If people can't find parking in front of the store they want to patronize, they'll leave.

We had to drive around for a couple appointments the other day and guess what? Not a single bike lane was plowed, swept, passable....or in use.

But they took up an entire lane of what used to be traffic and/or parking. 

Dumb Dumb Dumb (UPDATE)

Another dumb idea, courtesy of Illinois dumbocrats, House Bill 4414: 

• Amends the Criminal Code of 2012. Provides that beginning January 1, 2027, all handgun ammunition that is manufactured, imported into the State for sale or personal use, kept for sale, offered or exposed for sale, sold, given, lent, or possessed shall be serialized. 
• Provides that beginning January 1, 2027, any person who manufactures, causes to be manufactured, imports into the State for sale or personal use, keeps for sale, offers or exposes for sale, or who gives or lends any handgun ammunition that is not serialized is guilty of a Class A misdemeanor. 
• Provides that beginning January 1, 2027, any person who possesses in any public place any handgun ammunition that is not serialized is guilty of a Class C misdemeanor. Provides exceptions. 
• Provides that beginning January 1, 2027, the Illinois State Police shall maintain a centralized registry of all reports of handgun ammunition transactions reported to the Illinois State Police in a manner prescribed by the Illinois State Police. 
• Provides that information in the registry, upon proper application for that information, shall be furnished to peace officers and authorized employees of the Illinois State Police or to the person listed in the registry as the owner of the particular handgun ammunition. 
• Provides that the Illinois State Police shall adopt rules relating to the assessment and collection of end-user fees in an amount not to exceed 5 cents per round of handgun ammunition or per bullet, in which the accumulated fee amount may not exceed the cost to pay for the infrastructure, implementation, operational, enforcement, and future development costs of these provisions. Effective immediately.

We haven't bought ammunition in Illinois in years. There are nearby states where we can buy thousands of rounds far cheaper than anything locally. And if we wanted to, standard thirty-round magazines.

It's almost exactly how we get our fireworks - we're happy to make the trip to Free States.

But that's a pretty big assumption that ammunition manufacturers are (A) tooled up to do anything like what is proposed and (B) ISP is equipped to log and record anything like what is in this proposal. We still remember the "gun registry" that ended up with something like a 3% compliance rate and zero enforcement action taken by ISP. 

It's probably cheaper to not ship ammunition to Illinois - which is likely the aim of the bill.

UPDATE: Just thought of this - say we show up locally for our retirement qualification. We usually being our oldest ammo along to burn up, stuff we've bought in our travels for trips to the range with buddies - it has no serial numbers. Are the instructors required to call an Officer in, arrest us, process us on the misdemeanor charge....and then revoke our retirement credentials?

Election Day

Machine politicians across the city were relieved to finally see some snow and chilly temps - it keeps the un-interested voters home (nothing will stop the dedicated Machine people) and makes anything shady easier to pull off.

A couple suggestions for those going to vote in Cook county:

• if you pull a republican primary ballot, you'll note that it's pretty much empty except for the statewide offices. That's because the republican party in Illinois has given up on Cook County to the extent they spend almost no money (because they have so little) and send out maybe two mailers.
• if you pull a democrat ballot, that's where the action is. Tens of dozens of races with hundreds of names for everything under the sun. When we go that direction, it's usually to vote against certain names. A mostly pointless exercise, but fun none the less.

Remember to always vote "NO" on each and every judge. Yeah, they'll be appointed later if they don't get retained by vote, but it's the thought that counts.

And as we've reminded coppers for years who think that by voting they're more likely to be called for jury duty - the state hasn't used the voter rolls for jury summonses for years now - they use the Drivers Licenses (motor voter ring a bell?)

We'll still bet turnout is under 50% again. 

Firefighter Injured (UPDATE - Has Passed)

Fighting a fire while the blaze burns the floor you're standing on:

• A Chicago firefighter was seriously hurt Monday when he fell through the floor of a burning Rogers Park apartment building.

  The fire started around 11:20 a.m. at the back of the four-story multiunit building at 1757 W. North Shore Ave., Chicago Fire Department Deputy District Chief Kelly Burns told reporters at the scene Monday afternoon.

  Firefighters responded to the fire in less than 10 minutes, he said. “We thought we were making good progress. And then we had a collapse on the first floor,” Burns said.

  The firefighter who fell was taken in serious condition to Stroger Hospital. Burns did not share his current condition.

Worse than fighting a fire that's weakening the floor you're standing on, is the fire is traveling around inside the walls and hidden dead spaces, meaning you are standing in what could turn into a chimney in an instant.

No thanks.

Prayers and best wishes to the injured Firefighter. 

UPDATE: Despite the best efforts of the medical staff, the Firefighter has passed:

• A firefighter who was seriously hurt battling a fire in Rogers Mark Monday morning has died.

  The firefighter was taken to Stroger Hospital with serious injuries and was pronounced dead Tuesday, according to authorties.[sic]

  A procession from Stroger Hospital to the Cook County medical examiner’s office on the Near West Side is taking place as of 12:45 p.m., according to a Monroe District police lieutenant.

We have received notification of a fundraising website - an alternative to those that charge fees. We haven't tried it and know nothing about it, so proceed cautiously.

• link here

The site says he leaves behind a child and an expectant wife. They're going to need a lot of help shortly. 

Maybe it's the Trains?

Sure, the CTA is bad:

• A 59-year-old River Forest man walked from his home to the Harlem Avenue L stop on the morning of Dec. 1 to take the train to Rush University Medical Center, where he volunteered when not working his regular job as a grocery clerk at Jewel.

  Intellectually disabled, living independently and described as a “good, generous human being,” the man relied on the CTA to get around the Chicago area because he didn’t drive.

  But what should’ve been a routine trip seven stops east on the Blue Line from Forest Park to the West Side nearly turned fatal for the man, who was shoved off the commuter platform onto the tracks by a suspect with a long rap sheet — who badgered the victim for $1 and apparently got upset when he didn’t get it.

  [...] A Sun-Times analysis found the man is far from the only L rider to have been shoved on train tracks in recent years. More than 60 instances have been recorded in CTA paperwork since 2021 — amounting to one incident a month, on average.

But now Union Station is getting in on the act?

• A London man is charged with attempted murder after prosecutors said he held a knife to an Amtrak passenger’s nose at Union Station, then slashed at his throat, missing by less than an inch. He allegedly claimed to be a CIA agent who believed the victim was a hitman.

  Zakir Ibrahim, 25, was taken into custody on March 3 and charged with attempted murder in connection with the attack on a 32-year-old Amtrak passenger.

If they want to instill confidence in public transport being a viable option for commuters, then it needs to be efficient, clean and safe....which none of it is at the moment.

Conehead Prioritizes Criminals

From a comment, this article:

• More than 100 people gathered in Sheridan’s gymnasium, about 70 miles southwest of Chicago. Students of the Northwestern Prison Education Program, which offers undergraduate degrees to men incarcerated at Sheridan, their families and professors had the opportunity to speak with the mayor. 

  In 2023, their initial graduating class became the first group of incarcerated students to earn a bachelor’s degree from a top university. Northwestern also offers a bachelor’s degree program at the largest women’s prison in the state, Logan Correctional Center.

  “I’m here to learn and ensure that my responsibility as a leader of the city in Chicago, that you all know that you will always be front and center in all of the decisions that I make,” Johnson said to the crowd.

And our commentator points out exactly what these criminals are in prison for:

• Who's at the forefront of his mind you say?
  
  Anthony Ehlers - Currently spending life in prison for murder and armed robbery
  Nikolas Gacho - 35 years for attempt murder
  Giovanni Rios - 23 years for murder
  Hugo Ocon - 45 years for murder
  Darvin Henderson - 45 years for murder
  Taki Peacock - 80 years for murder and kidnapping
  Ian Valencia - 26 years for attempt murder
  Demetrius Cunningham - 80 years for murder
  Anthony Harris - 15 years for robbery (with a prior agg CSA/weapon conviction)
  William Peeples - Life for murder
  
  WTTW's cute little article omitted what these guys were charged with, go figure.

We did see the article noted the last name was serving time for murder, but it seemed like the article glossed over the rest of them.

But if Conehead isn't sucking ILLEGAL ALIEN ass, he's sucking up to murderers instead of law abiding citizens. 

Further Info on Shooting

Seems like a domestic that spilled out into the street?

• A man is in custody after allegedly shooting a Chicago police sergeant Saturday night on the city’s Far South Side, and investigators believe he also shot a 63-year-old woman nearby, according to preliminary information.

  The sergeant was traveling in a marked patrol car around 11:11 p.m. in the 11200 block of South Corliss Avenue in the Pullman neighborhood when a man in another vehicle fired shots in her direction, police said. A bullet struck the sergeant in the leg. Fellow officers transported her to Christ Hospital, where she was listed in good condition. The gunman fled the scene.

  Moments later, police received a call of a woman shot in the 11300 block of South Indiana Avenue. Officers said the 63-year-old victim was inside a residence when a known man shot her before fleeing. She sustained gunshot wounds to the foot and buttocks and was also taken to Christ Hospital, where she was listed in fair condition.

  Officers located a suspect at a nearby gas station and took him into custody. A firearm was also recovered at the scene. Police said the suspect admitted to shooting at the sergeant.

Still unclear if the sergeant was responding to the other shooting, or the offender shot the 63-year-old, then saw the police car driving by and just opened fire thinking that was a responding unit?

Good to hear the sergeant should physically recover.

Another Conehead Corpse

They bodies keep stacking up:

• A 29-year-old woman was found shot to death in a West Side alley Friday morning, becoming at least the 79th shooting victim who might have received faster police and EMS response had Mayor Brandon Johnson not disconnected Chicago’s gunshot detection network 18 months ago.

  The woman was found dead behind the 200 block of North Kilbourn around 6:30 a.m. The person who discovered her told police they believed they had heard gunfire approximately 30 minutes earlier, but they never called 911.

  In fact, one called.

  “We had no calls of shots fired anywhere in the area,” a police dispatcher confirmed over the radio. “I checked back to 4 a.m., and we had nothing.”

  “Another one for ShotSpotter,” an officer remarked.

The fact that no one in the neighborhood ever seems to call in "shots fired" is something that the media will never mention. Ever.

Except CWB. 

Happy St Paddy's Weekend

Stay off the CTA though:

• Two people were hospitalized after a stabbing in a CTA station in Chicago's Loop on Saturday evening, just hours after thousands were downtown for St. Patrick's Day celebrations.

  Around 8 p.m., after an earlier physical fight with a woman on the CTA platform at the Clark/Lake station, a 43-year-old woman and 23-year-old woman boarded a train. The woman also boarded the train and a second fight began, during which the 42-year-old and 23-year-old women were both stabbed in their arm and hand, the Chicago Fire Department said.

  The two women who were stabbed were taken to a local hospital, CFD said. They are both listed in good condition. The woman who stabbed them was taken into custody, authorities said. The investigation remains ongoing.

We'll just assume the overtime high-visibility initiative hasn't begun yet?

Endorsed by the Dead

Not only do the deceased vote in Chicago, they endorse politicians from beyond the grave:

• Throughout this campaign season, political candidates have been rolling out endorsements left and right. The Senate race has seen some big-name national players making appearances in recent days. But now, word has come that Rev. Jesse Jackson made an endorsement before he passed away.

  Lt. Gov. Juliana Stratton stumped in the Hyde Park neighborhood on Sunday afternoon at a veteran-owned bakery. She was joined by Sen. Tammy [Fuckworthless], who previously endorsed Stratton's campaign for U.S. Senate.

  But it was Stratton's announcement that Jackson had endorsed her before he died that is stirring some last-minute campaign controversy. Stratton said she found out from Betty Magnus at Rainbow PUSH on Saturday.

As a side note, the deceased revrund also endorsed SecondCityCop as his first media read every morning, followed by the CWB blog, and then - only after a trip to the sit on the porcelain throne - he checked out CNN, because they were most likely to mention him at some point.

See, we can do the fake bull$hit news, too. 

Still a War Zone

We don't know if anyone noticed, but there's a war going on in the Middle East....again. At last report, thirteen American service members have lost their lives since hostilities began on 28 February.

A sharp eyed reader let us know that during that same time period, twenty-five people have been murdered in Chicago.

We had our doubts, but HeyJackass.com has the March total at twenty so far. And if you go into the Tribune archives "homicide tracker," there were five homicides on 28 February by itself, meaning twenty-five is actually correct.

Sergeant Wounded Overnight

Very minimal reporting so far, but sounds like the sergeant will be okay:

• A Chicago police sergeant was shot on the city's Far South Side Saturday night, CPD said. The shooting took place at about 11:11 pm. In the 11200-block of South Corliss Avenue.

  Police said the sergeant was in a marked patrol car when the sergeant was struck in the leg by gunfire. The sergeant was able to transport himself to the hospital, where they were listed in good condition, police said.

  A suspect was taken into custody and a weapon was recovered, police said. Area detectives are investigating.

Speedy recovery wished to the Sergeant.

UPDATE: to the unpublished moron - the italicized article stating "himself" and "they"  was the media report, not us. Take it up with them misgendering and mis-pronouning the sergeant. Then go play in traffic.

This is Some Kind of Stupid

We got this from a couple different people (click for larger version):

Are you f#$%ing serious? 

Some copper actually fronted this ghetto mutt over $300, probably in an effort to avoid doing actual paperwork....and it bit them in the ass, BIG TIME.

But don't worry, their co-workers found out and proceeded to do one of the more amsuingr ball-bustings we've seen in quite a long time:

Well done. 

Crime is Still Down

And by "down," we mean "downtown:"

• A shoplifter shot a convenience store clerk in the Loop on Friday night, leaving the victim critically injured, Chicago police said.

  The shooting occurred at approximately 10:41 p.m. at the 7-Eleven at 191 West Adams Street, according to police and witnesses. CPD said an unidentified man entered the store, took items from the shelves, and walked out without paying. When the clerk confronted him outside the store, the suspect produced a gun and opened fire, police said.

  The 31-year-old victim was transported to Northwestern Memorial Hospital with gunshot wounds to his abdomen and back. CPD said he was in critical condition.

  Officers recovered three shell casings from the sidewalk in front of the store. Bullets also shattered the store’s glass door.

But don't think the rest of the city has gotten off that easily:

• Chicago police are investigating a series of armed robberies that swept through the River North neighborhood early Saturday, including a kidnapping in which two men drove a victim to three different convenience stores to withdraw cash from ATMs.

  That incident, the earliest reported of the night, began around 2 a.m. near the corner of Maple and Dearborn streets. According to a preliminary CPD report, two men lured the victim into a vehicle, displayed a gun, and then made a circuit of nearby stores, ordering him to withdraw cash from ATMs. They eventually released him in River North, but not before taking his phone. The suspects were described only as Black males.

CWB remains just about the only media outlet to provide accurate descriptions of actual offenders.

Remember this when you go to vote on Tuesday. 

"...rendered him no longer alive."

After the fourth islamic terror attack over the past two weeks, this amusing statement from the feebs regarding the Old Dominion shooting:

• The FBI said ROTC students were in the classroom when the gunman opened fire and stepped in, rendering him "no longer alive. Evans, the FBI special agent in charge, would not go into detail as to how the suspected shooter was killed, but said he was not shot. "They basically were able to terminate the threat," she said. 

Unfortunately, this was after he had already killed the instructor, a decorated veteran.

The deceased terrorist had previously been convicted in 2016 for attempting to provide material support to ISIS goat-sodomizers. He got twenty years, but was released by....the drooling vegetable's DoJ.

In the meantime, stay alert around sensitive government and religious institutions, along with petting zoos. 

Exempt Movement on Tap

Our spies tell us of a couple moves as Larritorious heads for the door:

• 1. Deputy Chief BCT to Chief of BCT.
  
  2. Commander 005 to Deputy Chief of Academy
  
  3. Deputy Chief of Academy to Deputy Chief A/5
  
  4. Lieutenant of Detail Unit to Commander
  
  5. Commander CCG to Deputy Chief CCG 

We don't have names to go with the moves. Readers can add them in the comments.

A few more are supposed to be on tap for 04 April.

Now the BIG question - does Larritorious delay the moves because word has leaked out? Or does he let them move forward and just admit that people can't keep secrets any more? 

Thirty-Three Years

Of course, he'll be out long before that:

• A man who shot two Chicago police officers after one of them saw a gun tumble from his pocket as he tried to pay for his order at a West Side hot dog stand was sentenced Friday to 33 years in prison.

  Kailon Harris-Caldwell, 28, pleaded guilty to two counts of attempted murder in exchange for concurrent 33-year terms handed down by Judge Thomas Byrne, according to court records.

  Prosecutors say the incident unfolded around 3:30 a.m. on March 4, 2022, when Harris-Caldwell reached into his pocket to pay for an order at Original Maxwell Street, 3801 West Harrison Street, as a Chicago police officer stood nearby. A handgun with an extended magazine fell from his pocket when he pulled his hand out.

  Harris-Caldwell picked up the gun and immediately fired at the officer’s head from close range, prosecutors alleged, leaving the cop with a graze wound. He then opened fire on the officer’s partner, who was seated in a marked patrol car in the restaurant’s parking lot. That officer was struck by a gunshot to the leg.

Last we had heard (correct us if mistaken) the one Officer was later promoted (by score) and the other one will never work as as the police again because of the resultant nerve damage and remaining bullet fragments.

This offender had jumped bail in Florida after using a rifle to shoot at sheriff deputies following a home invasion. 

Thirty-three years isn't even a good start. 

How Could This Happen??? (again)

 A parolee committing a crime? Unthinkable!

• A man on parole for armed robbery is now accused of pointing a gun at a 13-year-old’s head and threatening to shoot the child during a convenience store holdup in the Clearing neighborhood.

  Adam Butts, 37, was recently arrested and charged in connection with the December 28, 2024, robbery of a 7-Eleven store at 6754 West 63rd Street. Prosecutors said the robbery was captured on surveillance cameras.

How could a parolee, who was already caught with using a gun illegally - thereby rendering him incapable of ever legally owning a gun again by the way - get another gun and use it in an illegal manner?

Better that all you citizens should give up your guns so that this never happens again. 

Settlement Moves Forward

Reading this article, it becomes more and more obvious that police work isn't just dead....it's dead, buried and gone.

It's about time to abandon the streets to the criminals and let vigilantes administer street justice across all boundaries, because they (most likely) won't be sued or have to pay out of pocket for misjudgements or mistakes.

After two of three years, maybe we can rewrite the "social contract" and hold criminals accountable rather than second-guessing the police for daring to enforce Laws that the legislatures passed. 

New Overtime Initiative?

The sheriffs are getting some money:

• The Chicago Transit Authority is deploying sheriff’s deputies on its trains, installing high-barrier entry gates to deter fare evasion, and starting “farecard inspection missions” after the agency’s federal funding was threatened.

  The CTA presented those changes in a revised security plan Tuesday to the Federal Transit Administration, which had been threatening to a cut a $50 million grant if the CTA did not revise its security plan to the FTA’s liking. The FTA has been pressuring the CTA to improve system safety since a woman was set on fire in November on a Blue Line train.

CPD gets some opportunities, too:

• The agency is committing to 75% more policing hours on its system. To do that, it is, among other things:
  

• Raising the policing hours of the Chicago Police Department’s public transit section by 34%. (The unit is staffed by 177 officers.)
• Doubling to 240 the number of off-duty officers who can sign up for extra hours patrolling the CTA. (That number already has been raised once. In December, it was boosted to 120 from 77.)
• Having Cook County sheriff’s deputies patrol the system’s rail lines at a combined rate of 4,400 hours per month. Neither the CTA nor the sheriff’s office would say how many officers it would take to meet those targets. The hourly number, however, is about 20% of what the police department’s transit section typically works, according to figures in CTA’s December response to the FTA.

So much for Conehead's promises to cut OT.

Luuuuuucy!!!!

You got some 'splainin' to do!

• On the eve of a Chicago City council vote, lawyers for the family of a woman who died as a result of a high speed police chase are working to salvage a settlement deal worth millions more than originally awarded.

  The Council’s Finance Committee will be asked to authorize a $27 million settlement Friday with the family of Stacy Vaughn-Harrell. The family’s lawyers on Thursday urged Council members to give the OK, arguing there’s new evidence that would cause the price to balloon if the case were tried again.

This case already went to trial and a judgement of $10 million was handed down. There's plenty of information attached to this and in the public realm that this wasn't that far out of line with previous findings. We don't like it, but there's precedent.

The City decided to appeal, and suddenly "new information" comes to light and the City decides to offer....$27 million.

What did Corp Counsel completely "overlook" that necessitated an offer of three times the original finding? And when we say "overlook," what we mean is:

• what did Corp Counsel conceal from discovery that now came to light?

Who f#$%ed this up at Corp Counsel?

Who's getting fired?

Who is being disbarred? 

Time for Some Accountability

Hey "Consent Decree" people - how about firing some of these medical abusers?

• Recently, there was a disabled sergeant on the Police Pension Fund agenda who is in danger of losing her benefits. Let me be clear she is not above everyone else. Every officer receiving disability benefits is required to attend an annual physical examination, yet she refuses to comply.
  
  What’s even more troubling is that the injury she is now claiming is not the same injury for which she originally received disability. Her original injuries had healed. Now she claims she cannot see the Pension Board’s doctor because it gives her PTSD.
  
  This is exactly the kind of behavior that undermines the system for officers who are legitimately injured. Meanwhile, as mentioned in the post above, there are officers on no-pay status who are clearly not fit for duty and are struggling through the proper process. Situations like this damage the credibility of the disability system for everyone else.
  
  If someone is deliberately abusing the system, there should be consequences. Cases like this should be investigated thoroughly, and if wrongdoing is found, appropriate charges and legal action should follow. Pay back the Fund. 

A few years ago there was a concerted effort to have a Medical Integrity Unit to investigate abuse. It rapidly went away due to "demographic" revelations about exactly who was abusing the medical and at what rates.

People like this are going to lose the Medical Roll for others who truly need it.

Let's Make Kids Dumber!

CTU wants another day off even though they can't seem to teach kids to read or do math:

• The Chicago Teachers Union has not been shy about flexing its political muscle in recent years and now its leadership is demanding a day-off from school on May 1, wanting a day of demonstrations and events that largely align with progressive policies.

  The CTU is pushing a petition to close schools on May 1 so educators, activists and students can protest against a long list of grievances.

  The union wants staff and students to use the date to protest everything from ICE arrests to school funding, housing costs and what they claim is the threat President Donald Trump poses to democracy.

And they choose May Day (the communist holiday) for this effort.

• State data shows 40% of students enrolled in Chicago Public Schools are chronically absent, meaning they miss 10 or more days per year. Also, 43% of Chicago teachers missed at least 10 days of school last year.  

A money pit of graft, corruption and scandal. 

More of This Please

Shooting burglars is a good start:

• A three-time convicted burglar is facing burglary charges again after a South Side homeowner allegedly caught him breaking into a garage and shot him in the leg.

  Officers responding to a “burglary in progress” call around 2:45 a.m. on March 7 found 59-year-old Jose Pantoja lying in an alley behind the 5100 block of South Loomis Boulevard with a gunshot wound to his right leg.

  A 40-year-old man who lives nearby told officers he heard someone breaking into his garage and found Pantoja wearing a mask and placing a socket wrench into a backpack. When Pantoja allegedly tried to flee, the homeowner, a valid concealed carry license holder, shot him in the leg, according to police and prosecutors.

And guess who didn't even ask for him to be detained on bond?

• He is charged with burglary and possession of burglary tools. Prosecutors did not seek his detention, and he will remain free pending trial.

  Court records show he has been convicted of burglary three times in Cook County.

Three Strikes would have had this convict behind bars, unable to commit crimes.

CTA Video

We don't know if this video will play in the blogger platform. We're going to give it a try though. This was recorded back in January and posted on X / Twitter. 

(don't worry, you don't need an account to watch it - either here or on Twitter at this link:

Somewhere, a CTA spokesperson is typing ‘isolated experience.’

pic.twitter.com/4h23WxlnRQ

— Jen (@IlliniJen) January 10, 2026

That's the Blue Line at O'Hare we believe.

Without even trying, we counted at least SIXTY, possibly SEVENTY, sleeping, overdosed, homeless and/or mentally ill people on a single CTA train.

And Conehead wonders why Trump wants to cut tens of millions in transit funding? 

Nice Shot Junior

Philadelphia:

• Pennsylvania police say an 11-year-old boy fatally shot his mother's boyfriend during an altercation between the couple. The 911 call came in around 11:40 p.m. on Thursday, when police were called to the 1100-block of Peach Street in Southwest Philadelphia.

  Arriving officers and medics say they found the 30-year-old boyfriend lying on the bedroom floor with a gunshot wound to the head. He was pronounced dead a short time later. Police have identified him as Jaimeer Jones-Walker of Lansdowne, Pennsylvania.

  Investigators say Jones-Walker showed up at the house where his girlfriend lives with her children and began assaulting her in the bedroom. According to police, that's when her young son grabbed his mother's gun and shot him.

Aside from any mental trauma this kid might be going through, good job defending mom. 

And good job saving taxpayers any future costs for arresting, trying and incarcerating what neighbors say was a regular offender at the address. 

Mayor Chameleon

Amazing that she made it out of Illinois without being arrested.

More amazing to stage this as a comeback:

• The former embattled Democratic mayor of a Chicago suburb is running for a seat in Georgia as a Republican after relocating to the area following her scandal-plagued tenure in office. 

  Tiffany Henyard, who once declared herself a "super mayor," is the lone GOP candidate for South Fulton County's District 5 on the Fulton County Commission, according to election records. 

  She is facing off against four Democratic opponents. 

Grifters gotta grift. 

She's Georgia's problem now. 

Get to the Choppa!!!!

Public surplus auction:

• NOTE: THE HIGHEST BIDDER WILL RECEIVE A BILL OF SALE; NO TITLE OR KEYS; THE CITY OF CHICAGO RECOMMENDS PHYSICAL INSPECTION PRIOR TO PLACING A BID.

  1200 HOURS BEFORE ENGINE MAINTENANCE IS NECESSARY; COMES WITH CAMERA AND GROUND HANDLING DOLLIES; HELICOPTER HAS NOT BEEN STARTED OR OPERATED IN APPROXIMATELY ONE YEAR; NO KNOWN ISSUES PRESENT. OWNED BY THE CITY OF CHICAGO SINCE NEW; CONTINUOUSLY HANGARED; MAINTAINED UNDER CONTRACT; BASIC VFR CONFIGURATION; EXPOSED WIRING PRESENT; SOLD AS-IS, WHERE-IS; NO WARRANTY EXPRESSED OR IMPLIED; NOT WARRANTED FOR ANY SPECIFIC USE.

Completely unflyable and out of FAA compliance, but you can tow it somewhere and have it fixed up.

Bidding for the helicopter starts 03 April if we're reading the site correctly. 

You Can't Tax the Dead....

 ....but in Illinois, the dead will tax you soon:

• Illinois Democrats have figured out a way to tax “the dead”.
  
  Your property tax bill may soon have a new line item - Cemetery district tax.
  
  Illinois is the state with the most taxing districts in the entire country, and this new proposed legislation would create thousands of new cemetery taxing districts in Illinois.
  
  HB5084 would force the mandatory conversion of cemetery associations effective January 1, 2027. All existing cemetery associations in Illinois would be automatically incorporated as cemetery maintenance districts under the cemetery maintenance district act.
  
  In the past, illinois’ cemetery association act historically has allowed private or nonprofit associations to own and operate cemeteries.
  
  If this legislation becomes law, it would allow each district to become a “taxing body“ and be able to levy additional property taxes on homeowners and businesses. Each cemetery district would have a “board of trustees” who would gain the statutory authority to levy property taxes on all taxable properties within the cemetery district boundary.
  
  This will cause your property taxes to increase.
  
  Joliet area State Rep. Democrat Natalie Manley is sponsor of the cemetery tax.

There are some places we worked where there are two or three separate cemeteries within a District, and another few with zero. Lincoln Park used to be a cemetery and there are still a few gravestones if you know where to look. Then there's that unmarked insane asylum cemetery up north, and lord only knows where Gacy buried all his other victims - are those cemeteries, too?

Are they going to tax everyone within a certain radius of said cemetery? Or a blanket taxing body for the entire city? And exactly what benefit are we all supposed to see as a result of these new taxes?

Mayor Foreclosure? (UPDATE from Ja'Mal)

Jamal Green keeps making noises about running for mayor.

Someone says Jamal is in the midst of foreclosure proceedings on a home in Beverly:

We suppose if Conehead can get elected while not paying a water bill, why couldn't Jamal get elected for not paying a mortgage? 

Seems almost like a requirement at this point. Plus, the experience of being involved in a bankruptcy might come in handy.

UPDATE: Ja'Mal Green (allegedly) appeared in our comment section:

• I do appreciate the kindness in you guys words on here. But fortunately, I’m not in “foreclosure” for not making payments. A company who purchased the bank who owns the note who I received my mortgage through has legal issues and closed. They did not forward my payments to who purchased them and somehow they thought it was my fault. Fortunately, they are dismissing and it’s resolved. As I own many properties, trust me, I’m fine. Love you all!

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