A.I. is Crazy

Someone has been posting these in the comment section and we gotta say, we smiled a bit. As usual, you don't need a social media account to watch them:

• Instagram AI video #1
• Instagram AI video #2  

The Board member in the second video eating the chicken leg really cracked us up.

Hotel / Motel Rule

Saving Conehead an uncomfortable spike in crime numbers:

• A group of suspects broke into at least 41 vehicles in a South Side parking lot early Saturday morning, Chicago police said. At least 28 more vehicles were also broken into at another parking lot nearby shortly after.

  Police said the first crime happened in the Bronzeville neighborhood near East 33rd and South State streets just before 2:15 a.m. Four people in a black SUV approached the lot, where they broke 41 vehicles' windows. Police said it was not immediately clear whether any property was taken. The suspects fled the scene in their SUV.

  [...]  Then, around 3:10 a.m., a group of three suspects in a dark-colored Jeep SUV caused damage to at least 28 vehicles at a nearby parking lot in the 3200 block of South King Drive, CPD said. It was also not known if any property was taken from these vehicles, but some break-in victims also reported to ABC7 that no items were taken from their vehicles.

So almost seventy incidents of Criminal Damage, no reports of any Thefts at the moment, all summarized as two incidents. That's it. 

Two is way better than seventy for Conehead. 

This Again?

We suppose if it works - and by all accounts, it works too well - why change the methodology?

• Chicago police are investigating after burglars crashed into a Northwest Side business on Sunday morning.

  It happened at about 3:53 a.m. in the 800-block of N. Western Avenue, Chicago police said.

  CPD said dark-colored SUV crashed into the front entrance and multiple people then took an ATM.

Um, Chicago and Western isn't the "...Northwest Side..." by a long shot. Just because it's north and west of State and Madison doesn't make it "northwest."

In the meantime, if businesses aren't reinforcing their storefronts, putting up bollards, roll-down shutters, along with pointy-steel spears at windshield level, we suppose this will keep happening. The manpower situation isn't helping things either. 

Fundraiser Coverage

The photos included in the coverage are heartbreaking:

• Nearly five months after Chicago police officer Nelson Crespo was critically wounded in a shooting that took the life of his partner John Bartholomew, he made his first public appearance at a fundraiser.

  On April 25, Crespo and Bartholomew were with 26-year-old Alphanso Talley while he prepared for a CT scan at Swedish Hospital when Talley reached for a gun underneath a blanket after his handcuffs were taken off and shot the officers.

  Bartholomew was killed in the shooting. Crespo has been paralyzed from the shoulders down and has spent months recovering.

  Crespo was greeted by family, friends, and Chicago first responders during a fundraiser Friday in his honor at Old Crow Smokehouse in Wrigleyville.

Continue to keep Officer Crespo in your thoughts and prayers and if you are able, help out via any means possible. 

Off Duty Sheriff Wounded

Again, nothing good ever happens after midnight, and certainly not outside of nightclubs:

• Three men were shot during an altercation outside of a downtown nightclub early Saturday morning, Chicago police said.

  Police said the shooting happened near North Clark and West Erie streets in the city's River North neighborhood around 3:40 a.m.

  An off-duty Cook County Sheriff's correctional officer was among the people injured, officials said.

Quite a few of these shootings seem to involve multiple shooters, something everyone should keep in mind if they're caught in the middle of these shitshows.

Best wishes to the Sheriff's Officer for a speedy recovery. 

No Surprise Here

They're not in the business of educating students:

• Blue states with strong teachers’ unions overwhelmingly have worse student literacy scores than Republican states where educators don’t have as much say over policy, a shocking new analysis found.

  At least eight of the ten states where students had the worst literacy scores were liberal strongholds with politically powerful teachers’ unions, while just five were Republican and one was a swing state, a recent assessment from the Progressive Policy Institute (PPI) found.

  New York — where more than half of third- to fifth grade students failed their reading proficiency exams this year — was among the worst-performing states, and also had some of the strongest teachers’ unions.

They're in the business of raising money for left-wing causes, electing radical socialists and fracturing the family structure. Kids aren't there to be educated - the kids are there to be exploited and used as a cudgel to beat parents and taxpayers into submission.

They're succeeding, too, or have succeeded in blue state shitholes.

Don't Stop Ugly People

You'll get a ten-day suspension:

• A Chicago police officer unlawfully stopped and searched a student walking home from the bus, telling him and the person he was with that they were targeted because they were “ugly as f---,” according to findings released by a watchdog group.

  The Civilian Office of Police Accountability (COPA) reviewed and analyzed body-camera video of the incident that unfolded after three officers stopped a male and a female around 1:50 p.m. on Dec. 10, 2024.

Now, granted, it looks like they didn't properly stop the pedestrians, failed to document any sort of Reasonable Articulable Suspicion and didn't provide a "stop receipt" after concluding the encounter. But is was the "ugly as fuck" comment that landed the officer ten days off....and certainly a bunch of re-training modules.

But the important questions is....did they get the Blue Cards? 

Red Line BBQ

No, someone wasn't lit on fire....at least not this time:

• video link here

Don't worry, you don't need  social media account to see it. 

No Guns Allowed, but damn, BBQ chicken is all good. 

Dems Hate Crime?

Since when? If there were any actual investigative reporters still left in Chicago, you think they'd be looking at the sudden sentencing discrepancies in Cook County just prior to an election. It happened again:

• A registered sex offender who was out of compliance with registration requirements has been sentenced to 20 years in prison after he was caught viewing child sexual abuse material on a tablet at a Chicago Public Library branch in Bucktown last year, according to court records.

  David Rideout, 51, was taken into custody around 6 p.m. on September 15, 2025, after a woman called 911 to report that a man was viewing child pornography inside the Bucktown-Wicker Park Branch, 1701 North Milwaukee Avenue.

  Responding officers found Rideout seated with a black tablet displaying an image of a naked underage girl in a graphic sexual position, according to a CPD police report. A library employee told investigators that surveillance footage showed Rideout holding the tablet and viewing images of naked underage girls, the report said.

When we become Rulers of the Universe, Officers will be allowed to take this turd into the alley behind the library and shoot him in the f#$%ing head because that's how you solve this type of problem.

After decades of democrat rule though - where they're inventing terms like "minor attracted persons" - a twenty year sentence for looking at pictures isn't in line with decades of excusing perverted behaviors. 

What a Scumbag

This actually happened at the FOP meeting?

• Things got considerably uglier when a member questioned why Lodge dues should be paying for John's personal legal defense. Instead of simply answering the financial question, John turned it into a personal attack and brought up the member's deceased husband and her children. Catanzara told Beth Svec “ you should be thanking me for getting your ex- husbands full duty death benefits for Covid !” You could feel the air get sucked out of the room.

FOP has expelled people for far less than this.

Speaking of expulsions, a question for any lawyers reading: 

• should the current ruling junta lose their positions in the Lodge and the new administration opens an investigation into the questionable spending habits of the previous crowd (i.e. trips to New York, paintings, expensive steak dinners on the membership dime, etc);
• AND the investigation determines that these expenditures were not proper as they didn't benefit the membership in any way, shape or form;
• can (or will) the guilty parties be compelled to reimburse the Lodge for the improper spending on meals, plane tickets, hotel stays, etc?

We're just wondering. 

Giving Away Money Again

And this time, to people (or folks) that CRIMESHA HERSELF said were probably guilty of the crimes they went to prison for:

• Two Mexican men who were convicted of the brutal stabbing deaths of a Chicago couple, allegedly to help a woman steal their baby, are poised to get nearly $14 million from the city of Chicago over their claims they were coerced by cops into confessing to the murders, even though Cook County's former top prosecutor has testified she and other prosecutors never stopped believing the men were guilty of the crime.

  On Sept. 14, the Chicago City Council's Finance Committee voted overwhelmingly to recommend the full council approve the settlements with Gabriel Solache and Arturo DeLeon-Reyes.

  [...] Reyes and Solache were eventually exonerated and freed when then-Cook County State's Attorney Foxx declined in 2017 to pursue new trials against either man.

  The men swiftly filed lawsuits against the city and the police officers involved.

  They were later presented with so-called “certificates of innocence” by Cook County judges in 2022 and 2023, respectively, after Foxx's office again conspicuously declined to contest their innocence claims.

  [...] And in her testimony, Foxx revealed her office decided to not oppose the innocence petitions, even though she and other prosecutors believed both Solache and DeLeon-Reyes were guilty of the crimes for which they had been convicted. 

Crimesha has never adequately explained why she declined to actually do her fucking job and prosecute people that she believed, her staff believed and the evidence showed beyond a Reasonable Doubt that these two participated in the murders. Someone with half-a-brain would come to the completely logical conclusion that she was somehow compromised into acquiescing to the political winds of the time, likely financed by plaintiff lawyers. 

How about Crimesha sell her house and pitch in to the taxpayers she's screwing over?

One Hundred Years???

This is getting ridiculous:

• A man who got into a shootout with Chicago police officers during a hostage standoff in South Shore has been sentenced to 100 years in prison after a jury convicted him of 10 felony counts. But Steven Wade, 46, may face even more prison time. Prosecutors say he killed a woman in the hours before the standoff began, and that case remains pending.

  On February 27, 2023, Wade showed up unannounced at his ex-girlfriend’s home in the 12900 block of South Peoria Street after not seeing her for several years, wearing a bulletproof vest and carrying multiple bags. The pair spoke at the kitchen table, but the woman became uncomfortable when Wade began discussing his newfound religious beliefs, according to prosecutors. As a precaution, she called a friend and asked the friend to listen in on the conversation.

  While the friend was listening, Wade placed a gun on the table, claiming he had killed a security guard to obtain the firearm and the bulletproof vest, prosecutors said. The friend heard those remarks and immediately called 911, sending Chicago police to the home.

Is one-hundred years in line with ten felony convictions? Sure. Stack em up.

But....

There are multiple decades of precedent written into Cook County history. No one gets one-hundred years, even for multiple homicides. And if they happen to get multiple felony convictions, they end up serving sentences concurrently instead of consecutively.

These wildly inconsistent sentences are going to be an issue when the appeals go up the process. Hopefully, no one gets freed immediately, but reductions are a real possibility and you can bet the media won't cover those if / when they occur.

Just Saying

Guess who has COVID?

• Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez apparently has COVID — and the way the news got out feels like a dispatch from a very different era.

  Reporter Pablo Manríquez posted Tuesday that Ocasio-Cortez had told a colleague on the House steps that she had COVID. Video of the exchange circulated Wednesday, showing the New York Democrat having the conversation outside the Capitol.

  That quickly produced a second question online: If she knew she had COVID, why was she hanging around the Capitol?

Why? Because without the associated comorbidities, it isn't dangerous to 99.9% of people.

For those keeping track at home, AOC was vaccinated in 2020, 2021, boosted in late 2021 and may have gotten a further three shots, none of which actually vaccinated her. 

Don't fall for it again - it's an election year. 

Integrity Check?

Remember back in the day, the rumors that IAD used to put cash or look-alike "substances" in the backs of squad cars to attempt to "uncover" corruption?

This one looks like it went just a little too far:

• A body was found inside a new Chicago police vehicle on Thursday morning, CPD said.

  CPD said a man was found dead at about 9:15 a.m. in the 700 block of E. 112th Street.

  The body as found in the backseat of a new and unused police vehicle, CPD said.

  Chicago police said the vehicle has never been in service.

  A death investigation is underway.

We're going to start a rumor that the subject of this "death investigation" was placed into the brand new squad car with $1,000 in non-sequential unmarked bills. If any are missing.....

Someone is going to have a lot of explaining to do! 

Food Truck Given Away?

The General Meeting was yesterday - what happened and what the Hell is this?

• The FOP meeting today was a shitshow. JCAT said he and the FOP board gave away the food trailer to a charity controlled by his minions. This is a sad state of affairs. Will they take the FOP decals off the sides of the cart? We were told that the issue was lawsuit liability and that's why the cart was given away. So why the F did we buy it in the first place, if it's such a high risk?

Is this true or is this some proposal to give the truck to the non-existent unapproved charity that is supposed to be funded with $50K of Dues money? What is this Lodge liability for exactly? Accusations of food poisoning? Or shielding the current admin from an audit of cash purchases? 

The charity would be controlled by the same people currently running the Lodge so....not suspicious at all.

We did hear Catanzara claimed that since the Federal subpoenas were a year old, there's nothing to worry about. Someone then proposed that the Lodge stop paying the liar lawyer $450 bucks an hour if there's nothing to worry about. The president ruled the motion out of order and refused to allow it to come up for a vote, so....there must be something someone is worried about.

Fun times. 

Sixty Years from Whom???

Honest to Pete, we can't recall a string of massive sentences like this since the 1980s when the "crack wars" were in full swing:

• A homeless man who officials said spent nine days attacking women in downtown Chicago, culminating in the killing of a doctoral student from Maryland, was sentenced to 60 years in prison Tuesday.

  Anat Kimchi, a 31-year-old criminal justice researcher, was visiting a friend when she was attacked in the Loop on a Saturday afternoon in June 2021. As Kimchi walked in the 400 block of South Wacker Drive, Tony L. Robinson, now 46, grabbed her from behind and stabbed her in the neck and upper back with a knife, prosecutors said.

  A witness who saw the attack from a nearby park initially thought Robinson was trying to rob Kimchi. But Robinson fled with only her sweater. The witness briefly confronted Robinson but backed off when Robinson threatened him and went to Kimchi’s side and held her until paramedics arrived.

  DNA recovered from a shirt discarded near the murder scene matched Robinson. Surveillance video showed him approaching Kimchi from behind before the attack, then running with a knife in his hand and throwing the weapon into the Chicago River.

And you'll never believe who the judge was who applied this sentence after the jury verdict:

• Robinson took the murder case to trial in May, and a jury quickly returned guilty verdicts on two counts of murder. On Tuesday, Judge John Lyke handed down the 60-year sentence. Robinson must serve 100% of the sentence under state law.

Guess he's trying to burnish his image headed into the election.

Idiot

What a great screening process CPD has:

• A Chicago man has been sentenced to three years in federal prison for smuggling five firearms and more than 1,700 rounds of ammunition into Mexico. A Chicago police officer is accused of helping him buy two of the guns.

You can read the whole thing at the link up top, but seriously. Throwing away a six-figure job for a gangbanging piece of shit that was going to throw you under the bus the second they got caught dirty. Real brainiac there. 

The officer is scheduled to plead guilty shortly so he'll have a federal conviction on his record.

OEMC Update?

And some workers aren't happy about it:

• By the time the clock strikes midnight on a single Tuesday, Chicago's 911 dispatchers will have fielded nearly 10,000 calls for police, fire and ambulance services.

  Of those, some of them are life-or-death pleas for help. But now, some operators and dispatchers who answer those calls say warn 911 chaos will arrive when a new computerized dispatch program is implemented.

  Chicago's Office of Emergency Management and Communications has been handling the city's emergency calls on West Madison Street for more than 30 years. On Sept. 22, a new computerized dispatch system is set to be rolled out under a $75 million contract with Central Square, a company that has been renovating OEMC technology for the past several years.

  But some dispatchers who have contacted NBC 5 Investigates are less than enthused about the coming change.

We were among the last Officers who handled radio calls from 11th and State before they switched to the current OEMC building, so we experienced the growing pains associated with the system alongside the dispatchers and call takers.

The biggest complaint we remember back then was how the system was cobbled together from assorted low budget bids - the police radios were Motorola, the squad car computers were Badgers (?) or some other rodent and the OEMC computers were a completely separate system that we can't remember....

....and none of them worked well with each other because each system was a separate government bid to spread out the graft and crooked contracts. We were told that Motorola offered to coordinate / sync up all the systems, but the bribe money wasn't enough to sway the City Council people.

But we survived and kind of made it work, probably because the dispatchers were awesome. No idea if that's the case any more. 

Tooting his own Horn

We're still surprised Dart isn't running for mayor:

• A three-year effort by the Cook County Sheriff's Office to help bring down crime on the Magnificent Mile in downtown Chicago appears to be working.

  A group of 40 to 50 sheriff's officers patrol the Mag Mile every day of the week, and have made more than 100 arrests so far this year.

  It's a concerted, concentrated effort by Cook County, following years of crime plaguing Chicago's most prominent shopping district, and record vacancy rates in buildings along the Mag Mile.

  "It was happening on a massive scale. We were getting to operations that were getting $10,000, $20,000. $100,000 of stuff that was being stolen," Cook County Sheriff Tom Dart.

  His office started running the targeted law enforcement operation on the Magnificent Mile in 2023, and has made more than 415 arrests since then.

  In one recent case, sheriff's officers arrested a man who stole about $8,000 in merchandise from the alo clothing store, and was later found to have three active warrants.

Maybe he's looking at Prickwrinkle's job? 

HeyJackass.com Back?

They seem to have updated the weekend numbers pretty close to their usual schedule.

Hopefully, their short break was just that - a short break.

Welcome back if true. 

UPDATE: from the comments:

• Hey SCC. We've been back for a couple of weeks now, but only with occasional updates. Going forward, we'll be looking at posting once a week, likely on a Monday or Tuesday. Beyond that, we're planning on a total overhaul given the extreme age of the underlying infrastructure.