Brandon Body and Conehead Corpse

A two-fer!

• Two gunshot victims experienced delayed emergency responses on Sunday because people who heard the gunfire could give police only general locations, making it harder for officers to quickly find them. One victim, whose 911 call disconnected, appears to have waited 17 minutes for help to arrive.

  Both shootings occurred in areas that were previously covered by the city’s ShotSpotter gunfire detection network, which Mayor Brandon Johnson disconnected in September 2024. Despite Johnson’s assurances that a new and better system would be identified and deployed, the city has not announced a replacement, much less installed one.

First, the dead one:

• The first shooting occurred around 3:37 a.m. Sunday in the Altgeld Gardens housing complex. Chicago police officers stationed in the area reported hearing gunfire and began searching for its source. No other calls reporting gunfire came in, and nobody called 911 to report a person who had been shot. About five minutes after hearing the shots, the officers found a man lying in the 13100 block of South Lankley Avenue and immediately called for an ambulance.

  Devon Jones, 25, who lived on the same block, was pronounced dead at the University of Chicago Hospital, according to CPD and Cook County Medical Examiner records.

Then the wounded one:

• At about 5:16 a.m., a woman called 911 and reported hearing gunshots in the 8400 block of South Vincennes Avenue. She told dispatchers she believed the gunfire came from a nearby lot.

  About seven minutes later, a man called 911 and said he had been shot near 82nd Street and South Emerald Avenue, almost directly across a relatively open area from where the woman had heard the gunfire. The man’s call disconnected before he could provide an exact address.

  Ten minutes after his call, and 17 minutes after the woman’s initial call, CPD officers found the man on a porch in the 8200 block of South Emerald Avenue. They immediately summoned an ambulance and began lifesaving measures. CPD said the man was taken to Christ Hospital in serious condition.

At this point, Conehead might as well take a page from the BabylonBee (see post down a few spots from this one) and legalize shootings.

Interesting Take

This certainly hints at something federal going on over on Washington Street:

• It’s important to take a long look at the scandals now emerging at one of the county’s largest police unions, the Chicago Fraternal Order of Police (FOP) Lodge 7.

  Right now, the most pro–law enforcement president in the modern history of the nation is in office, proving time and again his willingness to back the police. At the same time, Chicago is ground zero for the radical Democrats seeking to expand their power throughout the country. The key strategy of this Democratic faction is a war on the criminal justice system.

  One would think that an alliance of the Trump administration, particularly the Department of Justice, and the Chicago FOP would be a match made in heaven. Imagine the things they could get done. One would think that public appearances between Trump and the leader of the FOP, John Catanzara, would be frequent and friendly.

But as Marty Preib points out, there is a distinct lack of any sort of contact with the national administration and the current FOP leadership. In fact, "the FOP president was reportedly turned away at the capital for a conference of big city police union leaders."

That's a big hint that someone somewhere doesn't want any photographs floating around of someone under investigation to appear with the sitting President....you know, the way the media subtly neglects to show Porkulous consorting with murderers and drug dealers.

Go read it all. 

Another Crooked Judge

Another incident that would make a series of campaign commercials that write themselves....but no one in the Bailey organization seems to bother making:

• A Cook County judge released a woman on electronic monitoring Saturday despite allegations that she rear-ended a motorcyclist on Lake Shore Drive while drunk, then dumped what appeared to be a liquor bottle in Lake Michigan, leaving the rider fatally injured on the pavement.

  Judge D’Anthony Thedford denied a request from prosecutors to detain Miracle Hall, 25, ahead of trial on charges of aggravated DUI causing a fatal accident, instead sending her home on an ankle monitor. It marks the second time this month that Thedford declined to detain a defendant accused of drunk driving in a fatal crash. On August 11, he released a man accused of fleeing the scene of a fatal crash in Lakeview while the victim’s body remained inside his vehicle.

Read that part again:

• ...[Thedford] released a man accused of fleeing the scene of a fatal crash in Lakeview while the victim’s body remained inside his vehicle.

And that still wasn't enough for this piece of shit judge to hold the offender in custody.

Does anyone know if CWB has a running list of crap judges and the cases they're involved in that are inflicting repeat criminals upon the public? We would gladly post that list on a near daily basis to encourage voters to finally take some control of their government again. 

One Way to Solve Crime

Legalize it:

• In what officials have hailed as a historic first, California has become the first state to achieve a crime rate of zero after passing legislation to make all crimes completely legal.

  "This is a great moment for our state," Governor Gavin Newsom said. "No other state in the nation's history has successfully brought the crime rate down to nothing. California is once again leading the way! Now, please, for the safety of your loved ones, don't venture out of your homes at night. Or at least carry an air horn. Whatever. I don't care."

  Analysts point to the state's legalization of all criminal acts as the catalyst for reaching a zero crime rate. "It was a bold but revolutionary move," said Professor Kyle Ray of the California Crime Institute. "California has effectively eliminated all crime from existence simply by making every unlawful or despicable act completely acceptable. Murder, assault, robbery — these are yesterday's terms. Californians are now truly free to express themselves however they choose. Zero crime!"

Yes, it's the BabylonBee. But essentially, this was what New York, California, Washington, Oregon, Minnesota and Illinois (via Crimesha) had been doing for years.

Gun Runner?

Hiring standards have fallen so far....there's another scandal brewing:

• Did a Chicago cop hand over two guns to a now-convicted extortionist and then lie to the police department about what happened to them?

  That explosive question arose in federal court filings in the case of Jawad Fakroune, a politically connected Chicago businessman who was convicted in June and is now serving a six-year prison sentence for threatening a restaurant owner over a $1.5 million debt.

  But the officer’s identity still remains a mystery.

The known offender has a cozy relationship with some Pritzker people that (obviously) the media wants to keep quiet, and Internal Affairs claimed to know nothing about the reportedly stolen guns recently, but has since opened an "investigation." 

But seeing the names the media has selectively decided to reveal and not others, it certainly smells like this "investigation" may go the way of the testing scandals of recent years where dozens of exempt Subject Matter Expert members had their spouses, pin cushions and other relatives "passing" with extraordinarily high scores.

Interesting Curriculum Vitae

For those who don't know the Latin, C.V. is a fancy term for an extensive résumé:

• In English, a curriculum vitae, commonly known as CV, is a short written summary of a person's career, qualifications, and education. This is the most common usage in British English. In North America, the term résumé is used, referring to a short career summary, whereas CVs are much longer than resumes. The term curriculum vitae and its abbreviation, CV, are also used especially in academia to refer to extensive or even complete summaries of a person's career, qualifications, and education, including publications and other information

For the truly curious, here's a quick summary of the lawyer that the FOP is paying $450 an hour to, right from his publicly accessible website:

• Terry Campbell focuses his practice on white-collar criminal defense, regulatory enforcement, complex commercial litigation, and criminal and civil appeals.  He has more than 20 years of trial experience, and has tried numerous cases in federal and state courts, both in Chicago and around the country.  Mr. Campbell provides a combination of impeccable judgement, strategic vision, and dedication to his clients and their cases.  His exceptional abilities have earned Terry his reputation as one of the top white-collar defense lawyers in the community, and he has been consistently recognized in publications such as Chambers & Partners and Illinois Super Lawyers based on peer reviews of his professional skills.

  Mr. Campbell has represented individuals in any number of high-profile cases during the past 20 years, including investigations and prosecutions relating to alleged fraud against the City of Chicago’s MBE/WBE program; the BP Deepwater Horizon oil spill; the prosecution of former executives at Sacred Heart Hospital for violations of the federal Anti-Kickback Statute; the collapse of Sentinel Management Group (which was described by the U.S. Attorney’s Office in Chicago as the largest financial fraud case ever prosecuted in this district); securities and accounting fraud cases against a former member of the Board and Audit Committee of Safety-Kleen Corp.; a securities and bank fraud case against a former officer of First Merchants Acceptance Corp.; and many others.

That is quite the impressive history....

....but not whom we'd expect to be representing someone who has been insisting that there's nothing untoward about the books, accounts and credit card receipts that he's been hiding from membership inspection for how many years now?

Curious and curiouser to say the least, especially after admitting at the last meeting that there were "policy issue[s]" regarding the FOP expenditures

Time to Demand Answers

And the only place to get answers is at an FOP Meeting:

• Members need to show up and demand answers about the “personal expenses” charged to the FOP credit card:

• What personal expenses did our dues pay for?
• How many personal purchases were made?
• Who made them?
• How much was spent?
• Where are the credit card statements and financial records documenting every personal charge?

• For years, John denied that there were any personal expenses on the FOP credit card. Now that attorney Terence Campbell—whose $450-an-hour bill is paid with our dues—has acknowledged that personal charges were made, John now wants members to believe those purchases were somehow acceptable simply because he claims he repaid the money.

The next General Meeting is at noon on 16 September and there really needs to be a decent amount of people showing up, if not to ask questions, then to see how the questions are being avoided at the very least behind a smokescreen of procedural BS.

This is YOUR money. You pay dues every single check, not so the Board can enjoy steak dinners and buy $10K paintings, but so that the Lodge can provide legal assistance when needed, address safety issues when the City tries to get around spending money properly, and negotiating a Contract that protects your legal rights from being trampled on when something goes sideways. 

It's time to show up boys and girls. Mark your calendars. 

Trying to Fill Some Big Shoes

This time, it's SeeBS:

• At least four people were killed, and 16 more were injured, in weekend shootings across Chicago as of Sunday, according to police.

  The ages of the victims range from 15 to 62.

Their hearts aren't in it it seems, seeing as how HeyJackass.com set the bar so high.

How accurate or inaccurate are these stats? 

Technical Difficulties

We had a computer issue earlier today, but were able to make a temporary fix.

So we have some throw-away posts going up tonight - it's Sunday, which usually produces our lowest readership numbers as everyone is busy with other stuff.

Open post for now and hopefully, everything is resolved by Monday. 

These Aren't My Pants

Or my suitcase?

• A 25-year-old Salem, Oregon, man is facing cannabis trafficking charges after federal agents allegedly found nearly 32 pounds of raw cannabis inside a suitcase he was carrying onto a London-bound flight at O’Hare International Airport. And the accused man says it’s all a big misunderstanding stemming from a job he found on Instagram.

  According to a detention filing, Samuel Stahl’s legal adventures began last Friday evening, August 14, when a U.S. Customs and Border Protection agent inspecting an outbound American Airlines flight zeroed in on a black SWISSGEAR suitcase. The bag allegedly belonged to Stahl, who was promptly stopped by agents as he stepped onto the jet bridge. They seized his iPhone and walkie-talkie and escorted him to a secure area for a border search, officials said.

And then it got humorous

• Inside the suitcase, agents allegedly discovered 29 packets of vacuum-sealed raw cannabis. Stahl, however, had an explanation ready. He told agents he was merely “the courier” and that he had no idea what was inside the bag because he had signed a non-disclosure agreement. When agents asked whether he took ownership of the bag given that it was in his possession, Stahl allegedly replied that he had been instructed to state that he did not understand. Presented with a luggage tag bearing his own name, Stahl allegedly claimed he could not read.

  About an hour into his encounter with Uncle Sam, Stahl’s story expanded when he allegedly confided that earlier this summer he had answered a job listing on Instagram advertising work as an international luggage courier. A week later, he allegedly claimed, he was offered $1,000 cash plus all expenses paid to deliver a suitcase to Thailand. Stahl told agents that he signed a non-disclosure agreement promising never to look inside the bag, though he later admitted to violating that agreement and peeking in to find files and clothing, the detention filing said. Once in Thailand, an unknown person collected the suitcase and took him to his hotel.

This guy is lucky he wasn't headed to Singapore. Nice pinch though.

Scandal That Shouldn't Be

Was there no screening in place that might have been a clue that this person was probably unfit to be hired?

• Over his first six years as a Chicago cop, Joseph Vecchio ran with a troubled tactical unit and accrued more disciplinary complaints than any other cop.

  On Thursday night, his tumultuous career was placed in serious jeopardy: The Chicago Police Board announced he faces firing in two separate disciplinary cases.

  By Friday afternoon, Vecchio was in police custody, accused of brutally attacking a woman earlier this week and holding her against her will, according to a police report.

  The woman was only able to escape by scaling down a third-floor balcony when Vecchio left her unattended to grab a food delivery, the report says. She told police that Vecchio had once warned her that he wouldn’t need a gun to kill her — “he could just crack her head open.”

And now the department is painted with the same brush as this guy. You know it, we know it, everyone knows it. If the Department and City wouldn't mindlessly defend and cover for connected people who never should have been on the job or kept around after their first scandal, the CPD would be a in far better position in so many ways.

Anyone know why the media is running with the picture of him and Barz together? 

CTA Shooting Video Released

This is someone's phone video. We don't have all the specifics (and don't worry, you don't need a social media account to see it), but someone literally pulled a gun out of his pants and shot two people while running directly past a couple officers....and got away.

• video link here

We can get it to play sometimes, and sometimes it freezes up.

Who has the specifics? 

UPDATE: it appears to be video from a few months ago that social media sites aren't censoring? 

Time to Break the CTU

Didn't this country fight a civil war about owning other human beings?

• Chicago Teachers Union (CTU) president Stacy Davis Gates said on Monday that “all children belong to” the union.

  At the City Club Chicago event, Gates bashed President Donald Trump for lessening the power of teachers’ unions, calling his education agenda a “relitigation” of the Civil War while complaining about the failing state of Chicago schools.

  Quoting civil rights activist James Baldwin, Gates tells the crowd, “The children are always ours. Every single one of them, all over the globe.” Gates then mocks parents who would respond by saying “CTU thinks your children are its children.”

  “Yes, we do,” Gates said. “We do.”

How many fewer kids are there in the schools, year over year? How many near-empty schools are sucking up millions in tax money? How many criminal acts are covered up annually by the CTU?

Time to show the teachers that parents - who pay their salaries - should be the people calling the shots.

Mendoza is already staking out that territory in the mayoral race. Pay attention for more. 

We Don't Miss This

From the comments:

• 25 days straight of cancelled days off with 12 hour tours, twice, June and August.

We don't think it was actually 25 days straight, but rather two incidences that added up to 25 days total.

But we thought there were OT restrictions?  That manpower shortages were a figment of our imaginations? 

The pay was nice....but you seldom had time to spend it properly before the next set of cancellations.

New Award?

The rumor mill started up again:

• What in the fuck is this new participation ribbon this silly department created? Another bull shit ribbon for some DEI boss to walk around with on his or her chest thinking he or she has done legitimate police work. The name of this ribbon you ask? Drum roll please. It’s called the “Resiliency Award”. I’m not making this up. If you were an active duty member from January 1,2020 through November 29, 2020 during Covid and Sir George Floyd of Fentanyl riots you get this ribbon. Just when you think this job can’t get more ridiculous the department creates an award for this nonsense. Hey , thanks for showing up and here’s your ribbon for coming to work. Nothing more just showing up.

First of all - completely believable. 

Second - do they send it to retirees?

Asking for a friend. 

Cuck FOPA

COPA had issues with this one, seeing as it was pretty much all lies:

• A Chicago Police sergeant who was accused of using excessive force against protesters at a children’s storytime event featuring comedian Tiffany Haddish in 2024 has been cleared of nearly all misconduct allegations, including the central claim that he unjustifiably tackled a demonstrator. Investigators instead found that the officer was the victim in the confrontation, having hot coffee thrown on him and being battered by multiple people at the scene. The woman who filed the complaint, officials said, wasn’t even present at the protest.

And THIS is why the Sworn Affidavit was the best thing to happen to the Department in decades, even if prosecutions were almost non-existent. The complainant WASN'T EVEN THERE, yet made a complaint to events she didn't witness.

But COPA had to get their licks in 

• Of the six allegations against [the sergeant], one was sustained, three were not sustained, one was unfounded, and he was exonerated of the sixth. The only sustained violation stemmed from [the sergeant] calling a civilian an expletive during the height of the confrontation. COPA recommended a reprimand and retraining.

AFTER the sergeant had been attacked with hot coffee, physically battered and the offender was attempting to flee from a lawful and justified arrest, COPA tags the sergeant for using a bad word and recommends retraining.

Fuck. These. Assholes.

Oh, and the "protest" was manufactured outrage over the arrest of two "palestinian" yutes - the yutes being aged 25 and 36.

Criminal Geniuses

We're surprised this hasn't happened here:

• A massive street takeover in California led to a family-run business being overrun by looters over the weekend. During the alleged takeover, A-Z Market convenience store in Bellflower was broken into. The city is in southeast Los Angeles.

  A fundraiser for the family said, "A group of individuals used power tools to break through our front window and security gate." Surveillance video showed three suspects using tools to break the window's glass and cut a security gate lock, allowing up to 40 additional suspects to enter and ransack the business for two minutes before blending back into the takeover crowd, the Los Angeles Sheriff's Department said.  

So they didn't just block the streets - they blocked them strategically, knowing police couldn't (or wouldn't) enforce anything without plenty of warnings and public announcements via loudspeakers. Then they used power tools and the absence of any law enforcement to systematically loot the business, all while dozens of getaway cars were just doing their street takeover crap before fading away into the crowd.

Of course, if the business doesn't re-open in short order, they'll complain about a "food desert" or something similar.

But knowing that CPD isn't permitted to take enforcement action AND isn't allowed to chase, and after years of non-prosecution and a SAFE-T Act that frees criminals even before the Arresting Officers' shift is over, this ought to be a regular occurrence the way that driving stolen cars into storefronts was a thing just a few years ago. 

One Case Down, One Remains

This would barely be a mention if it wasn't for his last name:

• The son of former Chicago Police Supt. Terry Hillard avoided discipline for his role in a chaotic arrest at a South Side police station after ex-top cop Larry Snelling pushed back on the findings of the city’s police oversight agency.

Well, Larritorious should know the Use of Force rules since he was touted as THE leading authority on them years ago. But that darn PPP scandal keeps popping up:

• Officer Dana Hillard, however, remains stripped of his policing powers in another disciplinary case in which he’s accused of bilking the federal Paycheck Protection Program, a pandemic relief program that was overrun with fraud, records show.

  As the younger Hillard faces potential dismissal in that case, he caught a break last month in the other investigation centering around an on-duty imbroglio.

Those Federal charges are difficult to have former bosses step in on it would seem...especially as so many bosses are among the unnamed offenders.

An Economic Upturn?

This sounds like a very lib-tarded fantasy at best:

• Chicago’s downtown district, the Loop, is poised to enjoy a busy fall going into the holiday season, as new retail businesses open, office vacancies stabilize, and midweek foot traffic increases, according to a Q2 report from the Chicago Loop Alliance (CLA). 

  Like many downtown commercial districts in the post-pandemic period, the Loop has been riddled with vacant storefronts and a lack of foot traffic. But now, the report says, investment in new construction, combined with refurbishment of existing properties, has reached $673 million. More than 20 new businesses opened in the Loop during Q2 (see the full list below), and more grand openings are set to follow in the coming weeks. These neighborhood additions range from crowd-pleasing chains to local businesses opening their first or second locations. Meanwhile, office vacancies, which have been increasing since 2020, have finally “leveled off,” the report asserts. 

Um...."leveled off" doesn't mean repopulated. It merely means Chicago may have hit bottom.

And just for shits-and-giggles, let's see what that partial list of new businesses looks like:

• Chains expanding in the Loop
• Amorino Gelato, 209 S. LaSalle
• Dos Toros, 1 N. Dearborn
• Kilwin’s, 60 E. Randolph
• Panda Express, 85 E. Wacker
• Seoul Spice, Willis Tower Lower Level
• Kanpai Hot Pot & BBQ, 174 N. Michigan
• Local businesses opening in the Loop
• Espiritu, 1 E. Wacker
• Genki, 174 N. Michigan Ave
• Prasino, 33 S Wabash 
• Velvet Taco, 174 N. Michigan
• The Jibarito Stop, 174 N. Wabash
• The Carlyle Club, 316 N. Clark

Of these twelve businesses, eleven are restaurants and one appears to be a fitness-type center.

According to the statistics, something like 18% of restaurants fail within the first year, 50% within five years. Those numbers skyrocketed during the Plandemic and the entire industry continues to limp along amid the burgeoning plywood forests of downtown Chicago. Over 80% of restaurant income comes from repeat customers, and without corporate occupancy rates jumping from record lows, there isn't a customer base to actually serve.

Conehead needs to expand the corporate presence downtown to trigger a boom of service industry businesses, not hope that eleven restaurants somehow fill the empty city coffers.

By the way - no JJ Fish and nail salons? We're disappointed. 

This is a Problem

A rather LARGE and obvious problem:

• Tonight's FOP meeting produced an admission every Lodge 7 member should be paying attention to.
  
  
  President John Catanzara brought out the attorney — the same attorney our dues are paying $450 an hour — to discuss the forensic audit. Members were told that, so far, they “don't believe” misappropriation of funds has occurred.
  
  
  Then a member asked a simple question: Were personal purchases made on the FOP credit card?
  
  
  The attorney acknowledged that there were a number of personal expenses charged to the FOP credit card, but characterized it as more of a  “policy issue.”

Um....that's NOT a "policy issue," no matter what language a paid liar lawyer dresses it up as.

That is corruption, that is misappropriation, that is Theft by a strict interpretation of the ILCS. 

You don't get to use Union Funds for personal purchases. Period.

But hey, what do we know? We were only cops for nearly thirty years.

Tell you what - release the credit card statements that the membership has been demanding for years now and let's put all this scandal-talk to rest once and for all.

UPDATE: bunch of comments claiming "it was paid back, all is good!"

The FOP dues money and credit cards are NOT bridge loans or cash advance services. You don't get to use the money while you're waiting for Payday to arrive because (A) it ain't your money and (B) how the Hell do you get an interest-free loan from membership dues that no one else can get?

What the actual fuck? 

Was this "Pretextual"?

We'll be her lawyer argues it was:

• Police say Jacqueline Beard had a bit of an “oopsie” when she went digging for her ID after cops stopped her for smoking at the Roosevelt Red Line station Friday. As she fumbled through her bag, officers caught a glimpse of a loaded firearm, turning a routine citation into a felony charge for the 24-year-old.

  But facing a gun charge is nothing new for Beard. Court records show she received “first time weapon offender probation” for another gun possession case in 2023. Maybe her second time will be the charm.

  CPD said officers assigned to the department’s Public Transportation Section were patrolling the Loop station around 7:15 p.m. August 14 when they saw Beard smoking inside a train car. They stopped her, asked her to step onto the platform and requested her ID so they could issue her a citation, according to police.

  As Beard searched for her identification inside her purse, officers spotted a firearm, which riders are prohibited from possessing on the city’s transit system, according to CPD. Police took possession of the loaded weapon and arrested Beard after determining she did not have a valid Firearm Owner’s Identification card or concealed carry license, police said.

Gee whiz

• no FOID card, 
• no Concealed Carry License, 
• a previous weapon conviction,
• AND she completely missed the "No Guns" signs all over the CTA property

At least she was punished severely for that charge, right?

• Beard’s previous gun case dates to August 2022, when prosecutors charged her with illegally possessing a firearm in a vehicle in Englewood. She ultimately received “first time weapon offender probation” and 50 hours of community service from Judge Tyria Walton, according to court records.

Walton? Again? Is anyone going to tell the voters?

Trees Are Tough

From the CFD crash we posted about yesterday:

They were responding to a call, lights and sirens, when struck by a pick-up truck.

We would have thought the bumper would have held up better than that, but we suppose it did what it was supposed to do. 

Crooked Judge Again

First, some habitual criminals got caught committing crimes....again:

• Two men already on pretrial release for burglarizing a Loop restaurant together are back in jail after Chicago police officers allegedly caught them doing the same thing again — and recovered suitcases full of Jimmy John’s cold cuts, chips and ice-cold soft drinks as evidence.

These must be two of those criminals that the democrat socialists say are only stealing because they're hungry or something.

Then it gets amusing:

• Williams has been on pretrial release since April, when he was charged with burglarizing an Uptown skate shop. At about 2 a.m. on April 21, police responded to a report of two people burglarizing Citizen Skate, 920 West Wilson Avenue, and found Williams under a parked car with multiple skateboards, clothing and skateboard hardware, a CPD arrest report said. Receipts from the skate shop were allegedly found in his pocket, and surveillance video allegedly showed him committing the burglary. Williams was released to await trial on that case.

  After he showed up for what was supposed to be a routine hearing on August 3, police arrested him at the courthouse to face charges in the June 30 Sweetgreen break-in and an overnight cash theft at Go Grocer, 345 West Wacker Drive, on June 10, according to court records. Despite the fact that those burglaries allegedly occurred while he was on pretrial release, Judge Tyria Walton released him again.

For those unaware, Walton is the judge who found Whitley Temple not guilty by reason of mental illness of running over a Chicago Police Officer with a squad car two years ago. Then after the publicity got to be too much, made unsubstantiated allegations to the media that Chicago Police Officers had made threats against her....

• without providing any actual evidence (unusual for a judge)
• without filing a single police report
• without informing the sheriff's protective detail about the "threats"
• without informing IAD or COPA of said "threats"

So not only is she incompetent at her job, she's a liar and fabulist to boot.

Good thing she's running for re-election this fall and can be removed from office....hahahahaha.

Repeat Criminals Repeating Again

More SAFE-T Act failures, squarely on the doorstep of Porkulous and the democrats: 

• Roy Pughsley caught a break last year. The 53-year-old had nearly killed another homeless man with a box cutter inside a River North Walgreens. But instead of going to prison on an attempted murder charge, he pleaded guilty to aggravated battery and walked out with 30 months of probation.

  Three weeks later, he was arrested again. And then again. And again. In all, Pughsley has been arrested eight more times since taking that plea deal, according to CPD records, with allegations ranging from possessing a knife to threatening people with knives at Loop businesses. He has repeatedly missed court dates, cycled on and off electronic monitoring and had judges decline to detain him. In his latest arrest, the Cook County Sheriff’s Office linked him to an overnight burglary at the Macy’s flagship store on State Street.

Eight additional arrests, some of them violent felonies. He really need to run into a CCL holder one of these times, just to save taxpayers money.

And this one is irritating:

• The man Chicago police Officer Krystal Rivera was chasing when she was fatally shot by her partner last year has been indicted on charges of conspiring to traffic fentanyl and cocaine in Chicago, according to the U.S. attorney’s office.

  In June 2025, Rivera and Officer Carlos Baker chased Jaylin Arnold to a Chatham apartment, where Baker fired his gun, striking and killing Rivera. Arnold pleaded guilty to gun and drug charges in relation to Rivera’s death and was sentenced to eight years in prison in a plea deal — a sentence Rivera’s mother Yolanda Rivera called “extremely severe.”

  Arnold, 28, was indicted Thursday by a federal grand jury for drug trafficking carried out with four other men between January and June of 2025, according to the indictment.

So is this a custodial investigation? Meaning he is currently in prison serving the eight years and managed to land an additional indictment for another case?

This part isn't surprising, but still pisses us off:

• Arnold was previously sentenced to seven years in prison after being convicted on gun charges in 2023, and has been sentenced to prison at least two other times for gun charges.

How about a "three strikes" law for repeat felons? This asshole is on his fourth (?) gun conviction and democrats (who are anti-anyone even owning a gun) can't bring themselves to apply the most severe punishments to someone who keeps violating existing gun laws.

CFD Injured

But not at a fire - in a crash:

• Four people, including two Chicago Fire Department firefighters, were taken to the hospital after a crash on the city's West Side on Tuesday afternoon.

  It happened near Augusta and Long in the Austin neighborhood.

  According to Chicago police, a fire engine collided with a white pickup, sending the fire truck over a curb, into a stoplight and then into a tree.

  Fire officials say all four people were taken to the hospital in good condition.

Best wishes for a speedy recovery.

Stay Classy Sport Fans

It's a freaking kids' game played by millionaires:

• A large brawl broke out in the stands between Cubs and White Sox fans Monday at Wrigley Field during the start of the Crosstown Classic.

  The fight broke out in the eighth inning of the game, with fans from both teams appearing to throw fists during the heated moment, images showed.

Grow up.

Yeah, About that Casino Money

Looking less and less likely to ever appear:

• Bally’s has acknowledged its massive debt creates “substantial doubt about its ability to continue” over the next year, when the company is supposed to open its long-delayed Chicago casino complex in River West.

  The statement of “going concern” was included in Friday’s quarterly filing with the Securities and Exchange Commission from Bally’s, which says it “is pursuing a number of financing alternatives intended to enhance its liquidity, including asset monetization, an equity sale and debt financing.”

  The disclosure comes as Bally’s butts heads with City Council members who authorized video gambling terminals that the company says will eat away its revenue — providing fodder for Council members who argue that’s just an excuse to slow down a project Bally’s can’t afford to complete.

  Companies are required to issue going-concern warnings if there’s “substantial doubt” about their ability to avoid defaulting on debt over the next 12 months.

Every bad decision that could be made over this boondoggle wasn't simply made - it was embraced and sold to taxpayers as something it never was and almost never could possibly be.

Simply amazing. 

Bloody Sunday

CWB picking up the HeyJackass.com ball:

• Six people were murdered and another ten people survived being shot across Chicago on Sunday, a wave of violence that drove the weekend’s shooting total to 25 victims, according to preliminary information provided by Chicago police and reviewed by the independent crime data analysis site HeyJackass.com.

  Compared to the same weekend in previous years, 2026 will go down as the “best” in over a decade, with one fewer victim than last year. Since 2015, the weekend has averaged eight homicides with 37 non-fatal shooting victims, according to HeyJackass data analysis.

They're in contact with the HeyJackass people at some level, so that's good.

Crime is still down, though that doesn't make the families of the six dead people feel any better. 

Sig P320 Decision

This one flew under the radar:

• A federal jury in Maine said there were no defects in Sig Sauer's P320 in a case in an unintended discharge of the firearm.

  The jury considered product liability, negligence, and breach of implied warranty, and ruled unanimously in favor of Sig Sauer.

No word on the jury's experience with weapon usage, handling and ownership.

But the unsubstantiated stories were enough to panic many Departments into abandoning the Sigs as a duty weapon.

Any word on whether the City was compensating affected Officers and properly training them up on their new pistols? 

This CANNOT Be True, Right?

Right? (click for larger view)

Twenty-three people taking the test?

We got this via email, so no idea if it's true.

It's tagged as a Rumor. 

Millions "Found"

Is this Conehead's Magikal Money Tree?

• Following an advisory by the Chicago inspector general’s office, the city treasurer has asked the city council to dissolve the Community Catalyst Fund and return its more than $57 million in assets to general funds.

  The fund was set up 10 years ago to increase access to public and private investment capital for businesses and organizations in economically underserved areas.

  Inspector General David Glockner said the city provided half of the $100 million initially proposed by Mayor Rahm Emanuel, but the fund has been been effectively dormant since 2020.

Fifty-seven million, just lying around in an account, doing nothing, earning nothing, benefiting no one?

Oh....not exactly:

• Glockner said there is no indication that the money was misused.

  The inspector said the fund only invested about $21 million of the $50 million that it received. No private dollars were ever invested in the fund.

  Glockner said the fund’s investments were all made in 2020 and the money was repaid.

If we're reading that correctly, $21 million was used for some unstated purpose....and then paid back?

For what? Who used it? What benefit was reaped from what appears to be a $21 million loan? Was there an investment? A buy-in to something? A stock market speculation where someone bought low, sold high, paid back the "loan" and kept the difference?

And guess who was nominally in charge of this untapped source of money?

• Chicago Treasurer Melissa Conyears-Ervin is the ex officio chair of the catalyst fund’s board of directors. The fund failed to submit annual reports from 2022 to 2025.

And now, suddenly, she's asking for the fund to be dissolved and the money returned to the General Fund. Why now? Has the account served it's purpose? Are the feds sniffing around this (and other unknown) accounts? How much more is out there benefiting the selected few?

So many questions that no one seems to know - or want - the answers to. 

Here Come the Socialists

They've actually been here for years....Crimesha was the end result:

• A socialist lawmaker in New York City has claimed “biological need” gives shoplifters the right to steal from store shelves.

  State Assemblywoman Emily Gallagher, who describes herself as a “neighborhood organizer” and “democratic socialist,” made her comments on Thursday outside Manhattan Criminal Court, the New York Post reported Saturday.

  She was joined by members of Court Watch NYC, which claimed they monitored hundreds of arraignments for several days and found half of those cases were misdemeanors.

  Gallagher said:

  Most of what we saw were crimes of poverty-people who are stealing things like toothpaste, people who were stealing things like, you know, soap. And that means if you’re stealing those things, you need them. And we are choosing to protect billion-dollar companies, like CVS and Walgreens, over the people who are struggling to get by. So I would say that the true crime is that there is such incredible wealth disparity in this city that there are people who can be thrown in jail simply for having a biological need.

You understand what this Kommunist Karen is saying, right?

• minorities NEED to steal

Talk about the racism of low expectations....from white libtarded female. Everyone else just needs to pay more so certain people (and folks) don't have to pay at all?

About Those "Violence Preventers"

We guess being a creepy chomo isn't a particularly "violent" crime:

• The founder of one of Chicago’s most high-profile youth violence prevention groups, who also works as a Chicago Public Schools counseling assistant, is sitting in the Cook County Jail after being charged with criminal sexual assault and grooming involving two 14-year-old girls.

  Prosecutors said Charles McKenzie, founder of Englewood First Responders who refers to himself as the “Mayor of Englewood,” was working for CPS at the time of the alleged incidents.

  The allegations span nearly a decade, with prosecutors accusing McKenzie of grooming one girl beginning in 2017, when she was 13 or 14 years old, and sexually assaulting another girl in March of this year. CWB Chicago is not identifying McKenzie’s relationship to the girls to protect their identities.

But it's still a bad look.

Oh, and look - he's a CPS employee.  

Wonder if he worked closely with Conehead? 

CTU Burning Bridges

The CTU is getting bad publicity nationwide lately:

• The Chicago Teachers Union’s cupidity in enriching itself, and the dismal results of Chicago’s public schools, have drained the public’s reservoir of goodwill. Among the reasons for the CTU’s downfall is a school named for someone who, as a slave, taught himself to read — a skill poorly imparted by Chicago teachers, when they teach.

  
  The indispensable Illinois Policy Institute says the Frederick Douglass Academy, whose 47 classrooms were built to accommodate 1,008 students, has 27. But the CTU has seen to it that it has 28 full-time staff. So, in the 2023-2024 school year, Douglass spent $93,000 per pupil.

  But Douglass is not entirely an outlier. At more than 50 Chicago schools, the percent of students who achieve math proficiency is 0. The 20 lowest-enrollment schools, spending $33,500 per student, have an 11 percent average reading proficiency. Students graduate unprepared for flourishing; the CTU thrives. The adjective “wicked” should be used sparingly in political discourse, but it fits the CTU’s ongoing child abuse.

This leaves aside the actual child sexual abuse running rampant in the CPS system.

The column also cites the Davis Gates hypocrisy of not educating her own child at CPS and the chronic absenteeism of almost half of the teachers.

We're still of the opinion that things haven't yet gotten bad enough for voters to make this a top issue though.

Bad Week

In light of the HeyJackass.com hiatus, we're stuck searching around for reliable numbers tracking week over week violence.

This report isn't one of them (SubX News is kind of hinky), but it's a set of numbers we hadn't seen put together in a while:

• SubX.News® Crime Report Aug 11 2026

  Chicago violence that started Friday morning continued into early Tuesday with 29 people shot 11 fatally in less than four days, along with two women stabbed to death and a 25-year-old woman struck and killed by a driver.

  The violence included three triple shootings and five double shootings, with 14 people dead overall since the first shooting at 9:14 a.m. Friday Aug 7.

It was titled "Chicago Death Zone" which was kind of catchy and appealed to our darker sense of humor. 

They also had an article up about whether or not CPD stats could be relied on for accuracy (NEWSFLASH: they cannot be as detailed here for years). 

We'll see what the future holds.